Question about the effect of LTR on frequency of sex and male libido

Lately I've been having random instances where I can't get an erection/lose it quickly with my gf. When I feel like I'm losing my erection even a tiny bit, my mind goes to the couple of times in the past when this happened and I have a self-fulfilling prophecy of it happening again. I also don't want my gf to think that I'm not attracted to her, because I can get rock hard on Wednesday and we can have awesome sex that night, while I may have this issue on Friday.

I don't understand exactly why this is happening to me even when I'm calm and when my gf is supportive. And I'm trying to learn more about its causes and solutions.

I'm beginning to think that there are two things other than possible performance anxiety that may have something to do with my issue.

The first one is that I think I have a longer refractory period than the average person who's in their 20s, exercises, is fit, healthy, rarely if ever watches porn. I can get erections about an hour after coming but I don't feel the 'drive' to go again, which brings me to my second point.

To those who've written that they have sex 3 to 5 times a day with their gfs, do you cum each time? (and also, is it abnormal that I want to have sex 1 or 2 times a day if I ejaculate every time? )Because I use to jerk off 2 to 3 times a day before I had an active sex life and ejaculation felt different than now when I have sex, I could just keep chugging at it and the "itch" would not be fully satisfied. When I cum with my gf, it feels much more powerful and it feels like I 'drain' my libido and I feel quite content.

One other thing that came to my mind is that stable long term relationships cause testosterone to take a hit if I remember correctly, so perhaps I should concentrate on this aspect.

Can anyone shed some light on this? Thanks.

In my opinion it is all mental, how I see it is I could masturbate myself to orgasm pretty much anytime, it might take up to an hour maybe if it was the 3rd time I had jacked off that day and I REALLY wasn't feeling it -- and yes my erection might be a bit weak especially if I was tired or distracted and not concentrating intensely on something that gets me hard... BUT I still know I could get there. So with a partner it really comes down to how willing they are to take instructions and how determined they are to please me, but I know in theory they could get me off. So now here comes the other plank of my strategy, it's to be completely outcome-independent, I go into it without a preconceived plan, sure I might want to fuck her hard in adapted missionary and make her cum, but if it's not working (for instance I go soft inside her) then I will adapt to the situation and try something else. I think where you can run into difficulties is feeling like you have to perform or achieve sex in a certain way or achieve a certain outcome. That's not how it works. So, lets say I fuck her hard for 20min then become distracted and find I don't feel like it anymore. Then I might just say I'm not feeling it, and do something else. What I would not do is apologize or act/feel ashamed of my performance, because I know that day-to-day variation is normal and tomorrow I'll probably give her multiple orgasms with a great big hard dick. It's hard to be genuinely unattached to the outcome but that's what gives me the freedom to have sex 2-3x per day with my gf, usually I'm feeling tired and not in the mood but I don't let negative thoughts take over, I figure there's no harm in making out with her and if that's all it amounts to then no worries. But I generally do get hard haha.
Ray

At the moment I'm pretty sensitive to the amount of times I ejaculate. My girl is insatiable and If I were to let her have her way I would be sucked dry.

I'm determined to remedy my low reserves of energy. I used to have more stamina and I think its due to various factors that are hard to pin down.

That being said I just started to take a root called Maca. It is the shit. Last time I took it, I had the best sex of my life as I was transformed into a caveman and my girl into my play thing. She would recall that night later on and tell me she wanted it like that again. haha ;}

I just bought some again two days ago (I stopped taking it after that night because I noticed a warning on the label; California recognizes a chemical in it that is harmful, which upon further research is nothing more than the lead in the soil it is grown. Which is very low and I don't think its a problem unless taking extreme high doses regularly), I feel much more energized and feel my sex drive rising.

It is not a fix to all your woes, but I think you'll get noticeable benefits.

PS

I heard 1500 mg/day is the minimum to see results. My brand recommends 2 capsules a day (500mg each), so I take about 5 capsules instead. Keep in mind its a root vegetables like a radish or turnip and is eaten in Peru. I personally want to find some fresh root and eat it the way it's meant to be eaten!

Personally I have gone the other direction in the past 2 months and now I get harder and can have sex 8-10 times in a weekend no problem.

The only big change was me moving, being happier and my job being 100% more active. Increased frequency of sex has actually made me hornier then I have ever been.

-Lotus

LTR with a single girl usually does make me less horny after a while.

It's extremely common phenomenon. Doesn't have to be probably, but it's very common.

Usually it's not a "problem" as oftentimes the same holds true for her, unless the libido of one the two moves too radically compared to the other.

Indeed in some instances when I lost interest and had less respect for the girl (too clingy, got to know her better etc. etc.(, then my sexual drive for her fell a bit too much and in that case it was a bit of an issue.
There have been times I have been annoyed at a girl's sexual advances.
But then again, the fact that you lose interest and respect means the relationship has no meaning anymore and that's the real issue there, not sex.

One more important point is that I feel a lot of people, me included, put "making her sexually as happy as possible" very high because it feeds our ego and make us feel very manly.

While a minimum is essential as it's part of caring for other people, sometimes I feel I go way overboard in that and it might be the same for you.

You're not a piece of meat sent to this world to make her happy all the times.