I've had sex for the first time yesterday and it's a night I'll remember forever, but not for the right reasons. We did a lot of foreplay, and the girl thought I was super experienced, so it really gave me that boost. She then proceeded with a hand job, and I really didn't like it (like I wasn't even close to cumming after 30 minutes - my first time ever!!!) It was really painful, and now my inner foreskin is very red and irritated, which confirms my doubts. Also, when I went for the vagina, I couldn't get it in, even when I was aiming low. Only position it could go inside was when she was on top, and it was painful with the condom and when it wasn't, I didn't feel shit! Wasn't able to cum at all. Am I the only one it happens too? Always felt that my foreskin was going too far down, and it definitely looks like it did as of today. I don't know, right now I really don't see the point of sex. Biggest deception I've ever had
First Time Having Sex... Painful, Couldn't Get It In and Boring
- Thread starter Badabang
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My first was shitty with the same results/symptoms, except I didn't get a bad handjob and I was barely in for a short time as I lost the erection due to the condom (spent too much time finding it and putting it on). A lot of girls grind your cocks with their teeth or pull your foreskin too far down when giving hj. It happens since she's bad at it and you don't communicate that it actually hurts, and communication is pretty important.
A couple of more times and there shouldn't be trouble (at least that was how it was for me)
A couple of more times and there shouldn't be trouble (at least that was how it was for me)
watch out for that band that holds your foreskin together, its called the frenulum. It tends to get super irritated and sometimes tear too during the first few times
Be grateful that you didn't cum cause it could have been embarrassing. You lasted 30 + minutes first time dude? I didn't last more than 10 minutes my first time. Be proud and aim to last longer next time. Girls are most attracted to men that can last long. Aim to last a hour +.
You can't explain what may have caused your pain? OK back when I was 13 and started masturbation, the foreskin was very tight and it pained when I pulled back. As I practised pulling it back ,the frenelum stretched. Until it went all the way past where it should go.
My recommendation : get some private time, some baby oil, and practice masturbation, specifically the pulling back part. The end goal is to be able to pull the skin all the way back and not feel any pain . Baby steps everyday, exercising the penis.
Also, as you practice masturbation, set a timer and work your way to last longer, the pain will go away when you have practiced on your own. Any other question feel free to ask.
Troy
You can't explain what may have caused your pain? OK back when I was 13 and started masturbation, the foreskin was very tight and it pained when I pulled back. As I practised pulling it back ,the frenelum stretched. Until it went all the way past where it should go.
My recommendation : get some private time, some baby oil, and practice masturbation, specifically the pulling back part. The end goal is to be able to pull the skin all the way back and not feel any pain . Baby steps everyday, exercising the penis.
Also, as you practice masturbation, set a timer and work your way to last longer, the pain will go away when you have practiced on your own. Any other question feel free to ask.
Troy
Man-O said:My first was shitty with the same results/symptoms, except I didn't get a bad handjob and I was barely in for a short time as I lost the erection due to the condom (spent too much time finding it and putting it on). A lot of girls grind your cocks with their teeth or pull your foreskin too far down when giving hj. It happens since she's bad at it and you don't communicate that it actually hurts, and communication is pretty important.
A couple of more times and there shouldn't be trouble (at least that was how it was for me)
Yes, she's not very experienced herself and pushed the foreskin very far+ the HJ was done dry, I'll lube it up next time, see how it works out! Blow jobs weren't painful though, guess that's a start
However, do you have any tips regarding the insertion of the penis in her vagina? I feel stupid asking this, but it was really impossible to put it in and it always slipped out! + kinda painful with the condom onThanks for the tip Troy! and indeed I'm actually happy about not cumming fast, the girl even thinks I'm experienced haha I'm just wondering if it's normal that I didn't feel a lot of pleasure during the whole thing. Also, do you have any tips regarding the insertion of the penis inside the vagina. Felt so awkward the whole time and ruined the experience, along with the pain
You might also want to look into phimosis. See this article on Wikipedia. Also bear in mind that if she was giving you a painful handjob or blowjob then she's probably not that good at it, so you'll obviously find better sexual partners as you progress. A good sexual partner will be like in this story, specifically the part that reads "It was like she hijacked my brain". You won't be bored, trust me on that!
Ray
Ray
ray_zorse said:
Nah I don't have that, we got back at it again yesterday and it was fine, I felt no pain at all and I was able to get it in alright. Still didn't felt that much pleasure though (maybe it's the condom or inexperience anxiety I don't know), but she liked it though
! Girl is weird though, I tried stimulating her clit and she didn't feel shit. I'm pretty sure I was spot on too. I was reaching for the top of the vagina, below the pubic area, in straight line with the belly button. She also told me that she was never able to stimulate it herself too, no matter how hard she tries. Have you guys ever witness something like that, especially in an inexperienced girl?
Good job man! Sounds like things sure are improving. Did you reach orgasm? Anyway, persevere and you'll be having awesome, satisfying sex in no time. A bit of acclimatization is to be expected the when you first reach a high altitude environment.
I have a little feedback based on your further report. Firstly the "adapted missionary" article on www.girlschase.com is a MUST READ. You said she liked it. That's because she likes a big hard dick reaching up to her vaginal wall near her cervix. This is how you give her vaginal orgasms, according to the article. The clit may actually be overrated. Disclaimer: I have not completely put the article into practice due to some mental sticking points on my part, but am getting closer and she LOVES it.
The other thing to really keep in mind is that except if she reports pain or something like that, you really cannot pay too much attention to anything she says or does, it's quite strange that, because you would think that she would be the best placed to know her body intimately, and guide you to what she needs, but she isn't. She is a hopeless mishmash of wrong information she has read in Cosmo, techniques that sound like they would work but don't, etc, and astonishingly out of touch with her body, not to mention her thoughts and feelings. Usually. Put simply, women are terrible at sex and leadership (rhey are great at sexY, however).
Correct approach with sex is to read GC articles and put them into practice as best you can, evaluating how you did each time and how you could improve, which parts of the articles resonate and which parts you are having trouble with. Collect her feedback and factor it into the process but don't give it too much weight, the feedback you need is involuntary on her part -- she's gasping, begging you "don't stop", grinding into you witu all her strength while your hard dick destroys that snatch. Also, be sure to give her orders at every stage -- when and how to touch you, etc, and dominantly peel her clothes off and se other forms of taken compliance as will. She will be happiest following your lead and will be intensely grateful at mot having to decide anything or provide any info, since you know her body better than she does.
She may have an overdeveloped clitoral hood. Read and put into practice the oral sex article (eating her snatch), this has been a REVELATION for me. Get a good look at her anatomy while you're there. Dunno if you are intact or circumcized but the clit+hood is like a tiny intact penis, hood retracts in a similar way and it has what appears to be like a frenulum at bottom which seems very sensitive. Get yourself a vibrator too.
Ray
I have a little feedback based on your further report. Firstly the "adapted missionary" article on www.girlschase.com is a MUST READ. You said she liked it. That's because she likes a big hard dick reaching up to her vaginal wall near her cervix. This is how you give her vaginal orgasms, according to the article. The clit may actually be overrated. Disclaimer: I have not completely put the article into practice due to some mental sticking points on my part, but am getting closer and she LOVES it.
The other thing to really keep in mind is that except if she reports pain or something like that, you really cannot pay too much attention to anything she says or does, it's quite strange that, because you would think that she would be the best placed to know her body intimately, and guide you to what she needs, but she isn't. She is a hopeless mishmash of wrong information she has read in Cosmo, techniques that sound like they would work but don't, etc, and astonishingly out of touch with her body, not to mention her thoughts and feelings. Usually. Put simply, women are terrible at sex and leadership (rhey are great at sexY, however).
Correct approach with sex is to read GC articles and put them into practice as best you can, evaluating how you did each time and how you could improve, which parts of the articles resonate and which parts you are having trouble with. Collect her feedback and factor it into the process but don't give it too much weight, the feedback you need is involuntary on her part -- she's gasping, begging you "don't stop", grinding into you witu all her strength while your hard dick destroys that snatch.
Also, be sure to give her orders at every stage -- when and how to touch you, etc, and dominantly peel her clothes off and se other forms of taken compliance as will. She will be happiest following your lead and will be intensely grateful at mot having to decide anything or provide any info, since you know her body better than she does.She may have an overdeveloped clitoral hood. Read and put into practice the oral sex article (eating her snatch), this has been a REVELATION for me. Get a good look at her anatomy while you're there. Dunno if you are intact or circumcized but the clit+hood is like a tiny intact penis, hood retracts in a similar way and it has what appears to be like a frenulum at bottom which seems very sensitive. Get yourself a vibrator too.
Ray
Yes that's what I had in mind. Right now, I'm trying to master sex the GC advocates it (touching those erogenous zones, dominating, rhythm, close to the body positions,etc) Then, I'll focus on finding the g-spot and deep spot with my fingers, which I haven't been able to do yet. Next time, I'll really try to give her some oral sex and see how she responds to it. However, what worries me is that I wasn't able to orgasm. I even have a hard time maintaining the erection, it often feels clinical to me. Maybe she's bad in bed or I'm just not that attracted to her (she's not ugly, but never was a target for me either, she basically did all the chasing lol I'm fucking her for experience mainly). Also, why do you recommend getting a vibrator?
Nah don't worry man, all that is normal, you just have to take it as it comes really, first time I had sex I didn't come and honestly I still have a lot of trouble reaching orgasm, I can happily fuck her for hours (or until I go soft -- this happens to me also and I consider it not a big deal)... but if I want to come I have to really concentrate hard on a sexual scenario of some kind (focuses my brain and prevents overanalyzing, the same thing you complained of) and block out everything around me and I often lose concentration as I get closer. I'd like to be more mindfully having sex, but at the same time this is what works for me. What I suggest is just keep doing what you're doing.
What can help with the going soft during sex is (1) be in a position and in a rhythm that you really do find pleasurable, if you start doing it "for her" then it is easy to go soft since you're not focusing on your own pleasure (2) use visualizations, if you just visualize a big hard dick (say a dick carved from wood) and focus intensely on that image while fucking then your subconscious will do the rest... another visualization I really like is to imagine her walking my baby in the park in a stroller, sitting down in a nice shady spot, lifting her sweater and breastfeeding my baby et cetera... I can construct a story around this and it blocks out any negative thoughts or overthinking, PLUS, signals to my subconscious that I have already dumped a load in her, my subconscious then takes over from there and strives to make the information I've given it true.
Having said all that, you only really want to use these kinds of techniques if there is actually some issue you want to deal with or changes you want to make, the most pleasurable way of having sex is simply just to be in the moment and experience the sensations without thinking, just letting them wash over you. But this maybe a bit like reaching nirvana, if you are good at meditating and have excellent mental control you could achieve this, but for ordinary people it's more like something to strive for. Another thing that really helps with enjoying sex is to have an abundance mentality, once you reach the point where you can get sex whenever you want and it's not such a huge deal it's, I suppose, kind of like sitting out in the sun on a sunny day and drinking your morning coffee... just a pleasurable activity that you enjoy as part of your day.
Another thing to keep in mind is your mood really changes during a sex session, initially you might be quite stressed from a busy week, overthinking shit, worried about financial matters, or your relationship with your partner etc... this happened to me a bit last night, was a bit in my head, not super hard (luckily she was as horny as fuck and I ended up doing a soft entry and getting hard inside her, which worked well)... and you know, my mood improved a lot, in fact 2.5hrs later we were doing a round 3 and I could not come, she sucked my dick for like fucking ages and then gave me a handjob for further ages and it felt fucking great but I couldn't stay focused enough to come, however my dick was as hard as a rock. So this was pretty good considering how things started (I finished myself off eventually). Just STICK AT IT, NEVER BE DISCOURAGED BY ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS, persevere and you'll get into it.
Ray
PS Why get a vibrator... well they're just generally awesome, but if you're having trouble getting her off then you may need to get the big guns out. In my opinion these are the most powerful and reliable vibrators if your goal is to get her off as quickly as possible, I have never owned one but they have them in love hotels in Japan and also my Japanese LTR girlfriend had one which she preferred over any of my vibrators (they don't penetrate, it's for clitoral stimulation)... I absolutely guarantee that despite any issues she may have had in stimulating her clit in the past, this vibrator will definitely do the job.
What can help with the going soft during sex is (1) be in a position and in a rhythm that you really do find pleasurable, if you start doing it "for her" then it is easy to go soft since you're not focusing on your own pleasure (2) use visualizations, if you just visualize a big hard dick (say a dick carved from wood) and focus intensely on that image while fucking then your subconscious will do the rest... another visualization I really like is to imagine her walking my baby in the park in a stroller, sitting down in a nice shady spot, lifting her sweater and breastfeeding my baby et cetera... I can construct a story around this and it blocks out any negative thoughts or overthinking, PLUS, signals to my subconscious that I have already dumped a load in her, my subconscious then takes over from there and strives to make the information I've given it true.
Having said all that, you only really want to use these kinds of techniques if there is actually some issue you want to deal with or changes you want to make, the most pleasurable way of having sex is simply just to be in the moment and experience the sensations without thinking, just letting them wash over you. But this maybe a bit like reaching nirvana, if you are good at meditating and have excellent mental control you could achieve this, but for ordinary people it's more like something to strive for. Another thing that really helps with enjoying sex is to have an abundance mentality, once you reach the point where you can get sex whenever you want and it's not such a huge deal it's, I suppose, kind of like sitting out in the sun on a sunny day and drinking your morning coffee... just a pleasurable activity that you enjoy as part of your day.
Another thing to keep in mind is your mood really changes during a sex session, initially you might be quite stressed from a busy week, overthinking shit, worried about financial matters, or your relationship with your partner etc... this happened to me a bit last night, was a bit in my head, not super hard (luckily she was as horny as fuck and I ended up doing a soft entry and getting hard inside her, which worked well)... and you know, my mood improved a lot, in fact 2.5hrs later we were doing a round 3 and I could not come, she sucked my dick for like fucking ages and then gave me a handjob for further ages and it felt fucking great but I couldn't stay focused enough to come, however my dick was as hard as a rock. So this was pretty good considering how things started (I finished myself off eventually). Just STICK AT IT, NEVER BE DISCOURAGED BY ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS, persevere and you'll get into it.
Ray
PS Why get a vibrator... well they're just generally awesome, but if you're having trouble getting her off then you may need to get the big guns out. In my opinion these are the most powerful and reliable vibrators if your goal is to get her off as quickly as possible, I have never owned one but they have them in love hotels in Japan and also my Japanese LTR girlfriend had one which she preferred over any of my vibrators (they don't penetrate, it's for clitoral stimulation)... I absolutely guarantee that despite any issues she may have had in stimulating her clit in the past, this vibrator will definitely do the job.