Texting



Texting

Postby Novacane » Wed Feb 06, 2013 6:37 am

I understand that texting should only be used to set up dates and what not, but what about the time inbetween? Is it okay to send a few texts here and there to strike up conversation for the sake of staying relevant? I do not mean to go overboard with messages everyday but something like probably a text here and there, just so you do not become a distant memory with girls you've only gotten the number but haven't moved forward with yet. Reason as to why I am asking is I got a number of a girl I found pretty cute asked her out but she was studying for a multitude of tests, but proposed another time. Now that was around the ending of January I still see her around and make eye contact I can tell she is interested but I haven't sent her another text in forever. I know this post is all over the place but the main question is, does light conversation here and there benefit when attempting to ask a girl out again, and if so how should one proceed with the texting as to not get into the "texting buddy" zone. Any help is appreciated ~ Novacane.
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Similar Situation

Postby harjas0123 » Wed Feb 06, 2013 9:47 am

Bro...even I have the same question...
Kind of the same situation between me and a girl too...
I asked her out and we even fixed a date...but due to a number of reasons...none of us could make it....
And i havent texted this girl since december 29....she texted me 1.5 weeks ago but i was really busy so didnt reply...
So girlschase board members.....any help for both of us would be appreciated :)
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Re: Texting

Postby ZacAdam » Wed Feb 06, 2013 10:16 am

Hi Guys,

Novacane wrote:Is it okay to send a few texts here and there to strike up conversation for the sake of staying relevant?
harjas0123 wrote:So girlschase board members.....any help for both of us would be appreciated :)


If maintaining a few text, it is okay to maintain friendly vibe. I have this assumption that most guys might think they need to message girls with some sexual innuendos or stuff, actually there's no need to, because you don't text her to maintain conversation, you text her just to find out what she's doing and that's it.

Guy - "Hi Julie, i hope your place there is not raining, :) it's raining heavily over here."

Girl - "Hi, i'm actually inside class now, studying!"

Guy - "Seems like you not studying now though!!! "

Girl - "Haha, and you disturbing me. tsk!"

and usually you will leave the message there as that. This isn't exact but this is around the same things i do. You can actually extend the conversation here, but usually i don't want to end it in a mood where it goes down. Sometimes she is genuinely busy and she send text on impulses, and you don't want to send text after text, hour after hour.

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Re: Texting

Postby Franco » Wed Feb 06, 2013 1:24 pm

This topic has been moved from "General" to "Phone Calls and Texting."

Hey Novacane,

Is it okay to send a few texts here and there to strike up conversation for the sake of staying relevant?


I'm still trying to find time to write up my first blog post for this website, but I've just been so busy that I haven't found time to do so. I wanted my first article to be exactly on this topic (because I have seen so many posts here about it), and in general, the answer is an astounding no.

Too many guys have this idea that they need to be in "constant contact" with a girl to remain relevant. This isn't the way it works, and the easiest reason to see why is to reverse the roles and see things from the female's perspective.

When a girl really likes a guy, she is constantly thinking about him whether he is contacting her or not. The only reason she doesn't text the guy is that she almost ALWAYS does not want to come across as needy or desperate in fear of losing him, so she sits around hoping he will contact her. But guess what? That's exactly what you do not want to do. Every time you contact her first (especially not to set up a date) is another reason for her to feel like she "has" you, and it gives her even more reason to go out and explore her options because she knows that she can contact you at any time because you are always available.

Instead, it's better to leave her in that state of constantly wanting to hear from you -- it keeps her extremely mentally invested in you, and chances are, she will jump for joy when you finally ask her out the next time you contact her. Now, is it possible that she COULD meet some other guy during this period and have you erased from the picture? Sure. But that is something you cannot control. However, if you REALLY want to speed up that process of her finding another guy to spend time with, then contacting her without the purpose of asking her out is the fastest way to get her to do that.

Girls are not that different from us. Let her sit there day after day wondering if you'll contact her. If you TRULY made a good impression on her and she is interested in you, then believe me, she WILL be thinking about you. It will actually be more difficult for her to WANT to date another guy because, in the back of her mind, she'll still be hoping that she can be with you. This is called "mental investment." Like physical investment (i.e. things such as saying "come with me" or "let me see your hand"), mental investment is a powerful tool if understood and used correctly.

I hope to get more up on this later (if I have time), but for now, give girls a chance to miss you. Make them think about you by NOT letting them know if you are thinking about them. This is the most powerful form of investment you can get from a girl (and even more powerful than physical investment) if used properly.

I hope this gives everyone some insight. ;)

EDIT: I should mention that this is a technique that is primarily used before you sleep with a girl. Once you've slept with a girl, then the game plan changes. However, mental investment still becomes a part of a relationship and can be used effectively to keep your significant from not wanting to lose you.

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Re: Texting

Postby Whizzy » Wed Feb 06, 2013 4:08 pm

I have to agree with Franco. There are some girls that try texting me just to see what I'm up to and normally it just lowers their value in my eyes (assuming we aren't dating etc). Instead text them very rarely as a surprise or to set up a date is the easiest way to keep her interested. Afterall the more you text each other while not making plans the more you two know about each other which can ruin some of the fun for both people too.
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Re: Texting

Postby HitMeNone » Mon Feb 11, 2013 9:26 pm

So what's the gameplan after you sleep with her?

Should you just start txting more often if after a relationship and "keep txting jsut to make plans" if you wanna keep it casual?

I am at this fork where Idk how to keep her chasing after I sleep with her? It's usually me who has to do all the set up for the next dates.
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Re: Texting

Postby Chase » Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:40 am

Hit-

HitMeNone wrote:So what's the gameplan after you sleep with her?

Should you just start txting more often if after a relationship and "keep txting jsut to make plans" if you wanna keep it casual?

I am at this fork where Idk how to keep her chasing after I sleep with her? It's usually me who has to do all the set up for the next dates.


I suppose if you want to text all the time, you can do that. Personally, I've found it rather tiresome to have text conversations, and prefer to just talk to women when I see them, girlfriends or not.

So for me at least, whether she's a girlfriend or a casual relationship or anything else, texting is really only just for arranging when to meet. But if you enjoy text conversations, and she does too, I don't see much harm in having them with a girl you're already seeing. If either party doesn't get a big kick out of texting it'll grate on you, though, and is better off avoided.

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Re: Texting

Postby killerman » Mon Dec 31, 2018 1:14 pm

I do the same, once i get the girl's number i send a few texts to build rapport then ask them out. Once ive set up the date I stop texting altogether. However I do have one issue. What do you do with girls who are ALWAYS texting? Got one girl i'm meeting in a couple weeks and she's always sending me these long messages. I keep my responses short but whenever I think sent the last one she responds with more texts asking me more questions about myself. How do I deal with this? Do i simply tell her I dont like texting and just want to meet instead or do I just keep the responses short and brief?
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Re: Texting

Postby jakesykes949 » Wed Jun 26, 2019 8:24 pm

killerman wrote:I do the same, once i get the girl's number i send a few texts to build rapport then ask them out. Once ive set up the date I stop texting altogether. However I do have one issue. What do you do with girls who are ALWAYS texting? Got one girl i'm meeting in a couple weeks and she's always sending me these long messages. I keep my responses short but whenever I think sent the last one she responds with more texts asking me more questions about myself. How do I deal with this? Do i simply tell her I dont like texting and just want to meet instead or do I just keep the responses short and brief?


Basically this. Text her a few times, build rapport, and set up a date.

Lots of guys make the mistake of texting FOREVER, and that's horrible, because it shows you don't really value your time.

As a high value man, you shouldn't text a new girl more than 2-3x per day. Admittedly, there's exceptions, but that's how I take it.

You should be busy with your OWN LIFE. Also, learn about text game, and which "phase" you're in. There's four phases:
1. Silence
2. Shit Tests
3. Logical
4. Flirting/Sexual

You're probably in the 2-3 phases if she's flaking you. Just play it cool. If she doesn't text you back for a while, just ignore it, and text her like nothing happened in a week.

The biggest thing is to be FUN and INTERESTING, and to move it towards a definitive TIME and DATE. Otherwise, the number doesn't even mean anything.
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