Socializing  Thoughts on dominance hierarchy among friends

Archidas

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Aug 19, 2018
Messages
1
Hey,

This is my first post on this forum after have been reading articles and this forum for some time now.

I was initially intrigued by dating and this lead me to explore personal growth and social dynamics in general. And after have been following this site as well as diverse literature such as Jordan Peterson, I have been very aware of myself as well as my surroundings. So to the point:

I have my group of friends, the boys, whom I have had a lot of fun moments and experiences with. However, I have always had this unpleasant feeling beneath the surface, which I have never been able to put my finger on. Although I thrive with my group, when all of us hang out, I sometimes experience anxiety. I have come to realise that I am on the bottom of the dominance hierarchy, it is very subtle. My friends obviously treat me good but I sort of end up in the periphery when we are out partying for instance.

Examples may include:

* two friends team up when we are about to play beer pong, I have to sort of "create my team" by asking around if someone wants to join me.
* I tag along when we go to the bar for orders.
* I am rarely consulted with group decisions.

This leave me feeling kind of empty, which obviously has a negative effect when meeting women. And it seems that this situation is out of my control as well: If i take more space, it seems imposed. If I do my own thing, pretty much social outcast. If I tag along, well status quo.

I remember that I had more success with women when our group formed 6 years ago, when we did not know each other that well.

Is there any smooth way to climb this hierarchy and be respected without creating confrontational friction? Or should I leave my buddies behind and seek new friendship where I can start "fresh"?
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,553
Archidas,

Archidas said:
Is there any smooth way to climb this hierarchy and be respected without creating confrontational friction? Or should I leave my buddies behind and seek new friendship where I can start "fresh"?

START AFRESH :)

Zac
 
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