Active Listening

Active listening was developed in the 1950s and progressed into later years by two humanistic psychologists named Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers. Humanistic psychology relies on the idea that people are born innately good, and their emotions develop for the better or worse depending on their accounts and interactions in life. Rogers, the founder of humanistic therapy, used active listening and reiteration to allow patients to feel like the therapist understood them and would allow the patient to freely talk more, getting more personal and personal.
Why mention this at all, you may ask? What's this got to do with approaching women? Let me tell you the overall benefits of creating a humanistic mindset.
What this does: This mindset promotes an interest in other people, and by maintaining an attitude of bettering others, you give off a very enticing vibe, after locking eyes with a woman, and approaching, she feels your genuine vibe, and it relaxes her, it allows you to deep dive more easily.
However, this style of game is not appropriate for everyone, taking a genuine interest in a woman, and allowing yourself to empathize with her creates a romantic connection some men don't want, and girls that fall for the empathetic man fall hard! Very hard! And usually stay that way until they meet a "distraction man," which I've found to be a guy who is closest enough to you to give her the same connection you did. I still have girls from sophmore year who want me simply because I could hardcore relate to them (not conscious of this at the time), but now I know why.
For the men out there looking for a real relationship instead of a one night stand (I have no conflicting values with either), I recommend giving it a try, but do with it what you want, this information is yours.
What is active listening: This is listening to anyone, in this case its women, with a genuinely empathetic demeanor, shown through reiteration called echoing, as well as physical gestures. If a woman is telling you about her recently deceased aunt, and you echo specific words such as Deceased!? In a surprised but almost sorrowful tone, she will be more inclined to tell you what happened. But such is the case , when a woman is speaking with emotion, active listening allows you to mirror her emotion (but do it genuinely), and she will most definitely feel that connection, allowing her to become more attracted to you. I've found this to be a great tool (I don't use it as a tool, I've always done this naturally because of my personality), in starting a healthy, romantic relationship which withstands hardship and decay.
- Enjoy, Richard

Active listening was developed in the 1950s and progressed into later years by two humanistic psychologists named Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers. Humanistic psychology relies on the idea that people are born innately good, and their emotions develop for the better or worse depending on their accounts and interactions in life. Rogers, the founder of humanistic therapy, used active listening and reiteration to allow patients to feel like the therapist understood them and would allow the patient to freely talk more, getting more personal and personal.

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Good concept here for reiteration of material. It is probably the most efficient way to get into a deep dive. Probe for the deep questions such as who they are, and what they aspire to be, and then allow for emotional connection through actively listening and being non-judgmental.

What is active listening: This is listening to anyone, in this case its women, with a genuinely empathetic demeanor, shown through reiteration called echoing, as well as physical gestures. If a woman is telling you about her recently deceased aunt, and you echo specific words such as Deceased!? In a surprised but almost sorrowful tone, she will be more inclined to tell you what happened. But such is the case , when a woman is speaking with emotion, active listening allows you to mirror her emotion (but do it genuinely), and she will most definitely feel that connection, allowing her to become more attracted to you. I've found this to be a great tool (I don't use it as a tool, I've always done this naturally because of my personality), in starting a healthy, romantic relationship which withstands hardship and decay.

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I feel as though the echoing of emotions is too.. reactionary and sensitive. Showing emotion doesn't work very well for attraction. Emotion tends to show a lack of control and a feeling of being inexperienced. Surprisingly, it can also make for a less powerful emotional connection. When you match emotion with emotion, such as her saying her aunt is deceased and you act sorrowful, she then has to think about you and how to reveal herself. If she has to watch what she says because you may overreact by acting emotionally, she then has to manage your emotional response in revealing how she feels.

Instead, the method of being a strong man who has seen it all and doesn't react emotionally to events is helpful in establishing that connection while still being a strong man. Being an emotional rock which she can dump her problems on without consequence, while still providing active feedback and listening. Emotional response doesn't warrant showing emotion - just talk about the emotion to show that you understand, but aren't effected by it.

Your second response upon your reading, I completely agree with, I was writing as I was thinking and scrambled to write it down before my thought process went overboard. Anyhow, I do agree with you on the basis of first interactions, such as the approach and the initial conversation it is best to talk about the emotion but not show it because you can potentially become a "Plan B" guy. However, when I was mentioning empathy with the aunt's death for example, that sort of active listening I find best once in the relationship, or on a 3rd or 4th date. This has worked for me because of the game I run though, I've been told that I'm the type of guy who women want to marry (by a very heavily experienced man who's alot like me), I'm the type of guy who women want to be with, not just have sex with so, the type of empathy and emotion I show further in my relations with women tends to lead them to further attraction for me. I agree with you though Ross, and I thank you for bringing up your point.

I'm the type of guy who women want to be with, not just have sex with

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Is there a difference between the guy women want to be with and the guy women want to have sex with? I'd say there is not. Women want to marry the men who they find extremely attractive. Just as you want to marry beautiful, sexy women who you cannot control, women want to do the same. The only thing is, they can't. These sexy, attractive people are impossible to pin down because they are in such high demand.

Examples:

- Women want men like Chase and Ricardus to settle down with them. They also really, really want sex with them. But, they cannot pin them down.
- Women want to be with the nice guy friend who emotionally empathizes with them, and want to marry them, but they can't because they aren't as attracted to them.

If you can prove that emotional responses to things brings more attraction than empathizing strictly through wording, then stick with it. But as a man who used emotionally empowered responses and been an emotional rock for women, I can say that being an emotional rock brings attraction, and one leads to being a weaker man who ends up being nothing more than a friend. The friend of the girl will probably end up becoming her boyfriend. But then, she eventually longs for the attractive, strong man. This leads to her cheating on him and hiding it to avoid hurting his vulnerable feelings.

I'm tending to agree with you, reading your stuff then remembering past interactions. In my past (before I got on the site), I had already gotten the girls attention and didn't have to work for it. Do you think that will have made any difference in my usage of empathy with those women? Like, since I've already got her interest, by showing that I can empathize with her, do you think that would have enhanced their attraction? All over the place today lol, and I don't think I explained my empathy clearly when I first wrote this, because my friend Dave, a 65 year old, 27 year active police chief who specialized in interrogation told me "I empathize with people and show them that I understand, but remain detached from the actual emotion to offer advice/therapy," and I believe I unconsciously do this with women as well, so, if that is true, it's exactly as you said with talking about the emotion, but now truly showing it. So, all in all, I would tend to agree with you Ross, you worded everything exactly as I wanted to say it lol.

I think this is actually pretty dangerous ground to play in, i personally think the end result is "lets be friends", from previous experience letting a woman just talk to you and for you to just genuinely listen doesn't end well. Whats happened is shes dumped a load in you, and with women there is no such word as "obligation". Obligation for her to reciprocate.

NBoxa said:

I think this is actually pretty dangerous ground to play in, i personally think the end result is "lets be friends", from previous experience letting a woman just talk to you and for you to just genuinely listen doesn't end well. Whats happened is shes dumped a load in you, and with women there is no such word as "obligation". Obligation for her to reciprocate.

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Nboxa,

Keep in mind that you're reading some older posts of mine - a lot of these were written before I became a Tribal Elder and could properly explain myself.

I still stand by what I wrote but I have a lot more clarity on what I mean by it now and you're spot on that this can lead to you turning into an emotional rock where a girl just dumps her negative emotions onto you, feels refreshed, and then is able to go off and be with a real man. What I meant by active listening is paying attention to what she's saying - lots of guys make the mistake of trying to come up with something clever, staring at her tits, etc. and they're too lost in their own head to have a legitimate conversation with a woman.

Paying attention when she talks is a lot different than letting her dump her emotions onto you - that's a two-person process and just because you're listening doesn't mean you have to play ball and that's the point I'm making: listening is a lot different than accepting her bullshit.

-Richard

P.S. Any post I made where I didn't space things out into paragraphs is one I probably made when I was still relatively inexperienced. If you read any of my newer stuff you'll see a big difference in how I write and I'd urge you to pay attention to those moreso than my other posts. I started off with zero skill with women and my older posts when I first started out are horrendous and you can see me banging my head and stumbling several times before I got to where I am today. Food for thought.

Apologies, still getting a feel for the place.

NBoxa said:

Apologies, still getting a feel for the place.

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No worries, man.

I don't remember everything I've written over the years but I've often thought about what the impact of my older posts might have on newer forum members. Like, you see the Tribal Elder status and assume that even my old stuff is written from an experienced standpoint and it's not the case.

Anyhow, welcome to the boards NBoxa! Enjoy your stay.

-Richard

I think the benefit that other get from seeing your transformations exceeds any downsides people might happen to have.

Those who are seriously going to apply your stuff are going to create an account and probably bring your attention to it, anyways.