Sticking Points: Being Sexual and Closing

zeroman2

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
99
Hi Beginner here

as far as I know I have 4 major stinking points (Approach, Being Sexual, Physical Escalation, and Closing) I'll talk about the other 2 maybe in the future but for now let talk about my worst two: Being Sexual and Closing.

Being Sexual: now I'm a nice guy and since starting GC I been trying desperately to shake the nice guy vibe I've been giving off. Now I can make sex jokes and tease girls all the time. But my problem is introducing sex into a normal conversation. when I talk to a girl rather its at a bar on the street it becomes too platonic. Now when a girl makes a sex joke or brings sex into the conversation i'm a natural at it and I'm very sexual. But when I do it, it comes off awkward.

Closing: For the life of me I can not close with any women I meet. I can't close with Girls at bars, Social Circles, Co Workers, Girls off the streets, any girl I can not close with. Now I don't know pacifically what my problem is with closing which is why I'm here to find out.

Do you have any tips or advice the can help me move past my sticking points.
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Jun 24, 2019
Messages
375
Being Sexual - sounds like you're just not comfortable with it yet, and that feeling is going to come out when you're trying to be sexual through talking. But here's the thing, making sex jokes and teasing her all the time isn't that great, you really only want to be making jokes and teasing her some of the time, or else you just look like a clown. And you know who wants to fuck the clown? Nobody. So if you're going to make jokes, try for less"haha" jokes and more smirking jokes, the ones which are subtle and delightfully sexy, where she's almost rolling her eyes at you with a huge smile on her face. Additionally, you just need to change your vibe to be more sexy. Some role models I've used for that are characters in movies - James Bond in Casino Royale (and basically the other 3 as well), Limitless, Bruce Wayne in the Batman trilogy, Iron Man #1, and my all time favorite Jacob Palmer in crazy stupid love. They'll give a good reference.

Closing - work on being more sexy and this should get easier. So I wouldn't focus on this at all until you're viewed as a sexy, powerful man.
 

zeroman2

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 11, 2018
Messages
99
Thanks for the advice but need a little clarification.

When it comes to the role models I'm already striving to be like them. Even though I said I was good at sex jokes and teasing it's not like I do it all the time just when it's convenient. But since you said I'm not comfortable introducing sex talk how do I get comfortable?
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
375
Space said:
Closing sounds like a cheap sales trick to me, I'm sorry. What does it has to do with the universal male and female energies of yin and yang?

You may be interested in his mindset instead. The section from 1:13 to 1:38.

Closing is closing. You either ask for the sale or you get nothing. Just the way it is. :)

The best way to get girls comfortable is to:
1. Be a sexy guy
2. Bring it up very casually/nonchalantly, like you were talking about what you had for breakfast. It will be contextual though.

E.g. at some point in the conversation

You: So how's your tinder experience so far?
Her: It's good yadda yadda
You: Ahh yeah, cool, so would you say most guys are just looking for casual sex? OR So do you find most guys you've met sexy? Or Some other question

Then you're talking about sex, casually.

Another example:

You: So what's one of the craziest things you've ever done? Either sexually or not sexually. (You have to make sure she know's you're not going to judge her here though)

Another example:

Talk about past relationships, or what she thinks men and women want. Relationships - so why did it end, guess the sex near the end wasn't that great hey? Men and women - Men - you can just say what you want. Women - you tell her your opinion, which is that women want to be loved, cherished, respected, cared for, and screaming hard dick.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
It really is an art to say it without saying it.... really comes down to Physical escalation. And that believe it or not, becomes easier as you implement physicality in your every day interactions.....

Raises the baseline if you will...

So shake hands and Hug your Bro's....

Kiss your mother and grandmother on the cheek and hug them. Kiss their 70 year old and older female friends. Yes, it is purely platonic. When you get used to doing that it makes it easier to grasp a woman's hand in conversation, to have them take your arm as they walk, to hold their hand as you lead them to the door.

Now you need to be aware of body language that say's "Don't touch me" too. and work to avoid it yourself. Stand up straight and invite physicality yourself and you might be surprised who initiates a hug. Real story...Had a Husband and wife customer. The Wife is berating (bitching at) the husband who is declining in early stages of dementia, but not too bad. I paused our work conversation and asked her point blank...."do you need a hug?" she broke down sobbing in my arms. Many people would have pulled back not knowing her, but I sensed from experience that it was anxiety making her bitchy. Once I'd comforted her, she was a lot easier to deal with.

Now I tell this story NOT because of any attraction on my part, but to illustrate that people crave physical contact for multiple reasons. it's a language...Learn to speak it.
 

matteo-d

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
13
Inner game = outer game

That's always the way it is, if you can't bring up sexuality into an interaction with a woman, it means that you have some internal insecurity or misunderstanding about sexuality.

Something that could help you, take the time to answer that for yourself

- What is sex about to you ?
- What do you want sex to mean to you personally ?
- Why sexuality is important to you ?
- Who do thrive to become through your exploration of sex ?
- What principles will be the foundation for your own unique sexual philosophy ?
- What will you lose if you become highly sexual with a girl ?
- How being sexual can potentially affect your life negatively ?
- Why is it important to you, that you explore sexuality to the fullest ?
- What can you do to evolve your understanding of sexuality ?
- In your opinion, what dangers are linked to sexuality in your life ?
- How many new ways would you like to expand the amount of pleasure you’re used to giving, or receiving ?
- Once you will have achieved all your goals with sexuality, what will have changed in your life ?

Once you have answered all of them, one of the thing that will happen is that you will have uncovered all your limiting beliefs about sex. Outline all your limiting beliefs and write why you want this limiting belief to change, and what you want instead.
Example:
I feel like talking loudly about sex is disrespectful --> I love learning about sex from a woman's perception, so I talk a lot about it

Once you are internally completely aligned about your perception of sex and at complete ease with your sexuality and desires, then it will naturally happen if you meet several women. Because there won't be any block in your head anymore.
 

Space

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
563
Space said:
Closing sounds like a cheap sales trick to me, I'm sorry. What does it has to do with the universal male and female energies of yin and yang?

You may be interested in his mindset instead. The section from 1:13 to 1:38.

JacobPalmer-

You seem to selectively ignored the second line of my message, which contains the main argument.

No, I'm not a salesman, or at least I'm trying to strive to something higher with this whole seduction thing.


matteo-d-

Good points! I'm not the OP asking the original question, but speaking for myself I always find I'm in a situation like these examples by James Marshall where he has 2 to 3 minutes to get the girl's number. Pardon. As both James and me are outside the US, we shouldn't take numbers. In fact we have 2 to 3 minutes to figure out the best communication channel we can agree on with the girl (WhatsApp or whatever). We have 2 to 3 minutes form saying 'hi' to the full interaction. In my experience you simply won't find such a channel with 100% of the girls, especially if the time is limited.

But back to the question of being confident with one's own sexuality. So I'm not sure, I'm truly not, if this James Marshall style of telling girls about myself and the boring facts of my life is the most effective use of limited time (even if I try to make them sound more colorful and interesting), but that's what I do. I'm a slow learner. So I always tell girls that I view sexuality more like a spiritual journey than just they way it's depicted in porn and they are cool with it.
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
375
You seem to selectively ignored the second line of my message, which contains the main argument. What does it has to do with the universal male and female energies of yin and yang?

Apologies, that wasn't my intention. I'm just not sure what you mean by the yin and yang thing. Care to elaborate?
 

Space

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
563
Space said:
My main point is there was this short video segment, less than 30 seconds.

JacobPalmer said:
Apologies, that wasn't my intention. I'm just not sure what you mean by the yin and yang thing. Care to elaborate?
On a slightly related or unrelated note I'm a beginner student of yin and yang.
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
375
On a slightly related or unrelated note I'm a beginner student of yin and yang.

Ahh I see. Well, I only have a vague idea of yin and yang, so I'm not sure I can contribute anything to how it relates to closing.
 

Space

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
563
JacobPalmer-

My main point related to closing is this short video segment you conveniently ignored for the second time. But it's fine. I also don't have unlimited time for this forum. :)

JacobPalmer said:
Ahh I see. Well, I only have a vague idea of yin and yang, so I'm not sure I can contribute anything to how it relates to closing.
On a side note, here's your crash course on yin and yang as I understand the concept.
 

JacobPalmer

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
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Messages
375
Space said:
JacobPalmer-

My main point related to closing is this short video segment you conveniently ignored for the second time. But it's fine. I also don't have unlimited time for this forum. :)

JacobPalmer said:
Ahh I see. Well, I only have a vague idea of yin and yang, so I'm not sure I can contribute anything to how it relates to closing.
On a side note, here's your crash course on yin and yang as I understand the concept.

All that video segment is saying is to make her feel so hooked on you that she wants you for life. Like sure, but that's just vague inapplicable information. Definitely strive to make yourself extremely high value (but also attainable), but you still need to go for the close. Because rarely she will make the move to move the interaction forward.

The yin and yang link..... I don't really understand what you're trying to show me. It just links to another forum thread.
 
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