- Joined
- Feb 22, 2019
- Messages
- 40
So I'm graduating college in a few weeks and well I've had two girlfriends my entire life. Both were one month long relationships first when I was 16 then when I was 23. I have hooked up a few times but not with girls I found super attractive, they were "bang-able" at the time and well I never really had to do work as they in essence chose me although in some cases I helped.
I've been super depressed at times because it seems impossible no matter what I do really pretty girls don't seem to like me, despite being far more attractive than other men around me. What bothers me the most is going out all the time and trying to introduce myself only to be met with aloofness and disinterest. But yet these same girls will have no problem grinding on some guy later on the dance floor or end up dating some other guy with bigger arms and chest. Maybe its because I don't meet them the natural way they did? Maybe because I don't meet girls in any of my classes or have any real friends anymore that are social.
I don't meet girls the social way, meaning I don't get invited to parties, never had really cool "going out" friends or was a part of a frat or athlete. I've come a long way since increasing my sociability but overcoming crippling social anxiety is hard. I wanted to be the guy every girl liked and had a lot of cool friends but it never came, and letting this go to move on with my life seems difficult. I'm left to check out all the cute girls I see in the library or dining halls and to make a move is bold, but weird since its uncomfortable to me, and the girl can sense that. Thus I don't do day game, or at least I have tried and well I can feel the annoyance and the disinterest in the body language so I eject.
I am going to have a phenomenal career that I've worked so hard for, but I feel that since I couldn't figure out the dating scene in college it won't figure it self out in the real world. I don't understand if its me, the mentality of the girl, the environment, etc. I could be doing everything right but in my mind it seems entirely wrong and I haven't gotten anything from it. Never in my life have I actually had a girl that I was genuinely sexually and emotionally interested in show me attention in any way. Maybe one time and that was it, and she was alright.
The lack of any emotional intimacy with another girl, especially the lack of relationships, weighs heavily on me. I feel like giving up because its starting to not be worth the energy going out and trying to talk to girls only to be shot down, and left to wonder how the fuck any of these guys met these girls without having to do what I am doing: cold approaching.
Based on what I've read, it doesn't matter if they're looking for a relationship or not, if they like you, they'll fuck you. Is my idea wrong of college girls? Are many girls just not interested in college guys because they think we're all the same? Why do I personally feel I would do better with women a few years older than me than girls now?
Regardless of the reason, I feel hopeless, as this is the last thing I expected to happen when it came to dating. Has anyone here been in similar situations? A shy introvert studying engineering, intellectual, etc? I can't seem to let this go and its starting to really consume my life simply because its really the only thing I want emotionally. My degree, yea I'm gonna get that. My job, yes that will come I'm qualified? A pretty girlfriend or a girl that likes me? No clue if that will ever happen based on my track record.
I just don't know what to do, what I am supposed to be thinking, feeling, etc. I focus on it, nothing changes, I don't focus on it, my daily routine doesn't change it. I'm 23 and feel like a toddler, I don't feel like a man, and I don't know what to do anymore.
I've been super depressed at times because it seems impossible no matter what I do really pretty girls don't seem to like me, despite being far more attractive than other men around me. What bothers me the most is going out all the time and trying to introduce myself only to be met with aloofness and disinterest. But yet these same girls will have no problem grinding on some guy later on the dance floor or end up dating some other guy with bigger arms and chest. Maybe its because I don't meet them the natural way they did? Maybe because I don't meet girls in any of my classes or have any real friends anymore that are social.
I don't meet girls the social way, meaning I don't get invited to parties, never had really cool "going out" friends or was a part of a frat or athlete. I've come a long way since increasing my sociability but overcoming crippling social anxiety is hard. I wanted to be the guy every girl liked and had a lot of cool friends but it never came, and letting this go to move on with my life seems difficult. I'm left to check out all the cute girls I see in the library or dining halls and to make a move is bold, but weird since its uncomfortable to me, and the girl can sense that. Thus I don't do day game, or at least I have tried and well I can feel the annoyance and the disinterest in the body language so I eject.
I am going to have a phenomenal career that I've worked so hard for, but I feel that since I couldn't figure out the dating scene in college it won't figure it self out in the real world. I don't understand if its me, the mentality of the girl, the environment, etc. I could be doing everything right but in my mind it seems entirely wrong and I haven't gotten anything from it. Never in my life have I actually had a girl that I was genuinely sexually and emotionally interested in show me attention in any way. Maybe one time and that was it, and she was alright.
The lack of any emotional intimacy with another girl, especially the lack of relationships, weighs heavily on me. I feel like giving up because its starting to not be worth the energy going out and trying to talk to girls only to be shot down, and left to wonder how the fuck any of these guys met these girls without having to do what I am doing: cold approaching.
Based on what I've read, it doesn't matter if they're looking for a relationship or not, if they like you, they'll fuck you. Is my idea wrong of college girls? Are many girls just not interested in college guys because they think we're all the same? Why do I personally feel I would do better with women a few years older than me than girls now?
Regardless of the reason, I feel hopeless, as this is the last thing I expected to happen when it came to dating. Has anyone here been in similar situations? A shy introvert studying engineering, intellectual, etc? I can't seem to let this go and its starting to really consume my life simply because its really the only thing I want emotionally. My degree, yea I'm gonna get that. My job, yes that will come I'm qualified? A pretty girlfriend or a girl that likes me? No clue if that will ever happen based on my track record.
I just don't know what to do, what I am supposed to be thinking, feeling, etc. I focus on it, nothing changes, I don't focus on it, my daily routine doesn't change it. I'm 23 and feel like a toddler, I don't feel like a man, and I don't know what to do anymore.