I still don't get how to be a challenge/hard to get

Optymistyk

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
12
I just don't understand what the point of the challenge is. If you're climbing a mountain then the point of the challenge is to see if you can get to the top. But what's the "top" for a girl? Is it to see if she can have sex with me? Well, she obviously can, I mean if I approach her that means I find her attractive enough to want her. Is it to get me to commit to a relationship? Well, she probably can not, I have very high standards for a girlfriend, assuming she even considers me as a boyfriend.

I try not to be a wet noodle, so I rarely compliment, I never buy her anything, and I try not to show too much interest from the start; but if she actualy believes I would consider not having sex with her if I could then she's just stupid. I mean, it's biology. I don't need her to show any specific character traits to sleep with her, outside of not being a 3itch maybe.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
To be a challenge, you have to not have women as your #1 focus. You have to have a perception that you have other options/competition in terms of your attention and time.

In a conversation in a group, you aren't giving your attention to the woman who is your target are you? No, you might engage a little more with the group then give her a little direct glance and smile. Think of how a singer sings to the crowd then looks down at the front row, and when they meet his glance, women swoon.

You operate on your terms not hers. Not automatically contradictory, but not asking for her approval either.

You have things you are doing, and limited time for her. You let her know you would enjoy her company and she can accompany you while you do those things... Be sure they are things she would enjoy too.
 

Optymistyk

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
12
Fuck This said:
What you said

So what you're saying is that the "top" for her is to get my time and attention?

Well, okay but that would imply I am so busy I don't have an hour to talk to a girl i like. I don't even know what could possibly occupy me like that. I have studies and hobbies, and even a passion towards drawing and painting, but it's not like all I ever do is drawing. I don't go to a club or a party thinking about drawing, and when I'm talking to a beautiful girl I don't find myself thinking "Well, she's sexy but I think I'd rather be drawing now"

And if I met her at a college party or in a bar(where I usually go to pickup women), then I have no excuses. I am there to drink and pass time with my friends, and pickup women while I'm at it. Pretending that I'm doing something so important I can't give her attention is just silly. "Sorry m'am, you are not important enough for me to talk with you. Now, excuse me while I go back to playing beer pong".
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,092
If she wasn't there at the party, What would you be doing?

You would be talking with your buddies, listening to their stories, playing beer pong, and if it wasn't entertaining, you would leave. When you engage with a woman in that scenario you give her a PIECE of the time and attention that you have there at that time. You have options...

One of my best pulls was at a hotel bar where I made eye contact with a woman then turned my back on her while she was on a phone conversation. (But I could still hear her talking) During that time I greeted industry colleagues who were coming in for the conference, and talked to the guy next to me about the game on TV. When she finished her conversation I invited her to introduce herself. I included her in the conversation with my colleagues, THEY bought her a drink, then I invited her to sit on the barstool next to me, and then we then had a 1 on 1 conversation. I rewarded her interest with attention.

Had I orbited her and engaged her and ignored my friends, I would have not been as much of a challenge. Her interest would have been less because she was not competing for my attention.

As for remaining a challenge, I don't return texts right away, and then when I do I'll say I'm at work and I'll touch base after I'm headed home.
I have time constraints in interactions...Gotta do XXX at 9.
If I don't have her full attention She doesn't have mine...
Always be willing to walk away....ALWAYS.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
Here's examples of NOT being a challenge. Note that each of these individually aren't going to sink you, but you should be able to see that if you do a lot of these you're going to be perceived as easy to get:

- You and a girl you're into are talking. She says come with me to this side of the bar to be with her friends. You agree.
- You laugh at everything she says.
- You're smiling during the entire conversation, particularly with a very wide, "wow this is cool!" smile.
- Once the interaction has started, you don't leave. You hover around, facing her the entire time.
- When she texts you, you respond immediately.
- If you schedule a date, you agree to whatever availability she says.

If you're honest with yourself, you can actually FEEL on the inside that this girl could do anything and you'll still be interested, or you'll agree to anything she says. That's being easy to get. You of course want to be the opposite. How? You can try faking it, but really the best way to do it is to legitimately make changes in your life that make you 'less available' for girls. For instance, make a bunch of friends so that when you're out socializing, you have a lot of people wanting your attention. Or if she's saying things that are legitimately boring to you, give her a bored face. Or I know this is easier said than done, but have a lot of options with women in your life. You won't show such extreme interest in this one girl when you know if she isn't up to your standards you can call a few other girls you know.

Does that make sense?
 

Optymistyk

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
12
ElderPrice said:
Here's examples of NOT being a challenge. Note that each of these individually aren't going to sink you, but you should be able to see that if you do a lot of these you're going to be perceived as easy to get:

- You and a girl you're into are talking. She says come with me to this side of the bar to be with her friends. You agree.
- You laugh at everything she says.
- You're smiling during the entire conversation, particularly with a very wide, "wow this is cool!" smile.
- Once the interaction has started, you don't leave. You hover around, facing her the entire time.
- When she texts you, you respond immediately.
- If you schedule a date, you agree to whatever availability she says.

If you're honest with yourself, you can actually FEEL on the inside that this girl could do anything and you'll still be interested, or you'll agree to anything she says. That's being easy to get. You of course want to be the opposite. How? You can try faking it, but really the best way to do it is to legitimately make changes in your life that make you 'less available' for girls. For instance, make a bunch of friends so that when you're out socializing, you have a lot of people wanting your attention. Or if she's saying things that are legitimately boring to you, give her a bored face. Or I know this is easier said than done, but have a lot of options with women in your life. You won't show such extreme interest in this one girl when you know if she isn't up to your standards you can call a few other girls you know.

Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does and I now see that I'm making a lot of these mistakes.

But how does this relate to:
1. Touch - touch is an indisputable sign of interest. But without it isn't it going to get stale? When am I supposed to start touching her?
2. Flirting - Is it good to flirt with more than one girl at a time? Does it make you hard-to-get or desperate? What if she's not pretty? How about flirting with every girl on default? I see some girls who flirt with every guy they talk to and guys just keep swarming in and making fools of themselves.
3. The mindset - I think the mindset is really important, especially to me. So what's the mindset of a challenging man? Especially a challenging man who does not currently have 5 women on standby :)
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
Optymistyk said:
ElderPrice said:
Here's examples of NOT being a challenge. Note that each of these individually aren't going to sink you, but you should be able to see that if you do a lot of these you're going to be perceived as easy to get:

- You and a girl you're into are talking. She says come with me to this side of the bar to be with her friends. You agree.
- You laugh at everything she says.
- You're smiling during the entire conversation, particularly with a very wide, "wow this is cool!" smile.
- Once the interaction has started, you don't leave. You hover around, facing her the entire time.
- When she texts you, you respond immediately.
- If you schedule a date, you agree to whatever availability she says.

If you're honest with yourself, you can actually FEEL on the inside that this girl could do anything and you'll still be interested, or you'll agree to anything she says. That's being easy to get. You of course want to be the opposite. How? You can try faking it, but really the best way to do it is to legitimately make changes in your life that make you 'less available' for girls. For instance, make a bunch of friends so that when you're out socializing, you have a lot of people wanting your attention. Or if she's saying things that are legitimately boring to you, give her a bored face. Or I know this is easier said than done, but have a lot of options with women in your life. You won't show such extreme interest in this one girl when you know if she isn't up to your standards you can call a few other girls you know.

Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does and I now see that I'm making a lot of these mistakes.

But how does this relate to:
1. Touch - touch is an indisputable sign of interest. But without it isn't it going to get stale? When am I supposed to start touching her?
2. Flirting - Is it good to flirt with more than one girl at a time? Does it make you hard-to-get or desperate? What if she's not pretty? How about flirting with every girl on default? I see some girls who flirt with every guy they talk to and guys just keep swarming in and making fools of themselves.
3. The mindset - I think the mindset is really important, especially to me. So what's the mindset of a challenging man? Especially a challenging man who does not currently have 5 women on standby :)
1. You can break the touch barrier whenever you like. But start small, and only do more touching if she's reciprocating. You can touch any girl on the arm after a funny joke for instance. You can even do this with guys. All you have to do is not keep pushing it. If you keep touching her on the arm and she hasn't once touched you back, you're screwed. Initiate touching by touching her once during a high note. Then stop until she reciprocates.
2. Flirting can mean different things to different people. At least that's what I've found. If by flirting you mean saying stuff like "hey baby let's go chill at my place" then yeah that's weird. But if by flirt you mean the kinds of things James Bond says, then yeah go nuts. You must have met guys before who are just natural flirts who flirt with everyone. Do they look like desperate fools? No, they look like fun people. My advice would be to just be a fun guy first and foremost. If you're all weird on the inside and try to force out some flirts, it's going to be weird. Be a fun guy on the inside first, then the flirting will be much easier. And you'll see the fun of flirting to all women, not just your targets.
3. Not sure if it's actually a mindset. But, a challenging man at least has standards. Not in terms of looks but in terms of personality. He knows the type of girl he wants and he screens for it. So if a perfect 10 approaches him he ain't going to be impressed until he deep dives her and gets to see what her personality and way of life is like and if that's what he's looking for. A challenging man similarly has boundaries. If a 10 is acting rude, he's going to tell her, get turned off, and look elsewhere. And again, the challenging man has the abundance attitude. If the 10 isn't exactly a great match, he doesn't mind forgetting about her and continuing the search. He knows there's an endless supply of women out there to meet.
 

Optymistyk

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
12
ElderPrice said:
3. Not sure if it's actually a mindset. But, a challenging man at least has standards. Not in terms of looks but in terms of personality. He knows the type of girl he wants and he screens for it. So if a perfect 10 approaches him he ain't going to be impressed until he deep dives her and gets to see what her personality and way of life is like and if that's what he's looking for. A challenging man similarly has boundaries. If a 10 is acting rude, he's going to tell her, get turned off, and look elsewhere. And again, the challenging man has the abundance attitude. If the 10 isn't exactly a great match, he doesn't mind forgetting about her and continuing the search. He knows there's an endless supply of women out there to meet.

Yeah well here's the thing with standards, when it comes to hooking up I really don't have many. Because why if it's nothing serious anyway?
When it comes to girlfriend material then yeah, I have quite high standards I think. Because a gf must be worth limiting my sexual freedom and putting up with her occasional nonsense.
My approach is that a girl is not gf material until proven otherwise, so I'm mostly looking for hookups and if the right girl comes around - then I'm all for it.

So again why have standards if it's just a one-time thing or friends with benefits thing? What standards? My only current standard is that she turns me on, has logistics and is not a 3itch. But then again there's no challenge for her to fit those standards.
 
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