Hi, I'm new to these forums and maybe similar questions have been posted a lot, but I can't find any right now.
This has occurred to me twice. The first girl worked at the same company but I've only met her once for a two-day training. The girl I'm talking to right now we've been colleagues with years ago, not anymore. Back then we did talk a few times personally. When she knew me I was pretty different though - now I have a better style, don't wear glasses anymore, have more life experience.
With both girls, I sent them a "how are you? long time no see" type chat message and started trying to have a conversation. Even though we did know each other, it felt kinda like a cold call in both cases. They responded, but there were no questions towards me, no clear signs of interest. For the first one, I gave up after a few days as I had the feeling she didn't really want to talk but was too polite not to answer my questions.
For the one that's ongoing right now: I start chatting with her, she responds, but only a couple times a day. She works a lot, is in the midst of changing jobs and doesn't like to use Messenger that much so maybe this is normal, at this point the frequency doesn't really bother me. We've been talking for a week, 5-8 messages per person per day (very little, I know). I ask her about herself, try to relate, sneak in a short story or info about myself when appropriate. She replies and tells me about herself, in some cases even uses a smiley, not very often. If she has enough to say, she will respond in up to 3-4 messages, doesn't keep it very short. So far we've only talked about the basic stuff (what's your idea of fun, do you like travel etc... even a bit of work as we were colleagues previously, I felt it was a good starter to ask what she's doing now professionally). I don't want to go too deep with my questions - after all, the last time we met was years ago, just started chatting, feel like it would be inappropriate.
What puzzles me is that she almost never asks any questions. Not even reactively - e.g. If I ask about her favorite movie genre she will not say "what's yours?" Right now I have no idea if a) she finds it weird that I started talking to her after years and doesn't even really want to talk, but is too polite not to answer, b) she is okay with chatting with a former colleague but doesn't care much, c) she might want to talk but doesn't wanna make it look like she is, as it would make her look easy, or is too shy to ask back, d) she's taken and doesn't wanna encourage me with her questions.
I think she's a relatively reserved person but back when we were colleagues I didn't know her that much. She's in her early 30s, we work office jobs. I'm trying to figure out if I should continue the conversation risking it may "dry up" eventually as I run out of the basic questions to ask about her, and if it does not, ask if she'd like to have a coffee somewhere, or say "thanks for chatting, bye" and end the conversation. I don't want to as I find her really cute.
I'm in Eastern Europe, people a bit more reserved here in general and do not communicate as openly and as much as people in the US. Still, in my experience girls usually start asking questions back after a few days (or less) and I don't normally have trouble connecting with them if they are interested.
What do you think?
This has occurred to me twice. The first girl worked at the same company but I've only met her once for a two-day training. The girl I'm talking to right now we've been colleagues with years ago, not anymore. Back then we did talk a few times personally. When she knew me I was pretty different though - now I have a better style, don't wear glasses anymore, have more life experience.
With both girls, I sent them a "how are you? long time no see" type chat message and started trying to have a conversation. Even though we did know each other, it felt kinda like a cold call in both cases. They responded, but there were no questions towards me, no clear signs of interest. For the first one, I gave up after a few days as I had the feeling she didn't really want to talk but was too polite not to answer my questions.
For the one that's ongoing right now: I start chatting with her, she responds, but only a couple times a day. She works a lot, is in the midst of changing jobs and doesn't like to use Messenger that much so maybe this is normal, at this point the frequency doesn't really bother me. We've been talking for a week, 5-8 messages per person per day (very little, I know). I ask her about herself, try to relate, sneak in a short story or info about myself when appropriate. She replies and tells me about herself, in some cases even uses a smiley, not very often. If she has enough to say, she will respond in up to 3-4 messages, doesn't keep it very short. So far we've only talked about the basic stuff (what's your idea of fun, do you like travel etc... even a bit of work as we were colleagues previously, I felt it was a good starter to ask what she's doing now professionally). I don't want to go too deep with my questions - after all, the last time we met was years ago, just started chatting, feel like it would be inappropriate.
What puzzles me is that she almost never asks any questions. Not even reactively - e.g. If I ask about her favorite movie genre she will not say "what's yours?" Right now I have no idea if a) she finds it weird that I started talking to her after years and doesn't even really want to talk, but is too polite not to answer, b) she is okay with chatting with a former colleague but doesn't care much, c) she might want to talk but doesn't wanna make it look like she is, as it would make her look easy, or is too shy to ask back, d) she's taken and doesn't wanna encourage me with her questions.
I think she's a relatively reserved person but back when we were colleagues I didn't know her that much. She's in her early 30s, we work office jobs. I'm trying to figure out if I should continue the conversation risking it may "dry up" eventually as I run out of the basic questions to ask about her, and if it does not, ask if she'd like to have a coffee somewhere, or say "thanks for chatting, bye" and end the conversation. I don't want to as I find her really cute.
I'm in Eastern Europe, people a bit more reserved here in general and do not communicate as openly and as much as people in the US. Still, in my experience girls usually start asking questions back after a few days (or less) and I don't normally have trouble connecting with them if they are interested.
What do you think?
Tell me what your schedule looks like the next couple of days"