Control Your Conversations by Challenging Tough Questions

Easy tip for staying in control of conversations:

Ever find yourself in a conversation where it seems like it's quickly springing out of control? The girl's grilling you, and you're getting hit with tough questions you're not sure how to answer. Totally sucks, right?

The way around this is simple: ask a clarifying question, or even challenge her back on it.

Looks like this:

• Girl: Do you think it matters how many guys a girl's slept with?
  
  You: Uh... why are you asking me this? Trying to find out if you're eligible to be my girlfriend or not?

Here's another one:

• Girl: Do you ALWAYS wear hats?
  
  You: Do you LIKE men with hats?

And another:

• Girl: I don't think it's cool if men don't pay for women's drinks.
  
  You: What do you think men SHOULD do?
  
  Girl: They should pay.
  
  You: I see. And what should women do in return?

By challenging women back, you regain your balance and control of the conversation and, when being asked a tough question, you also give yourself time to think.

Get used to challenging back as an automatic response when girls hit you with tough questions. It makes life a lot easier.

Best,
Chase

Re: Control Your Conversations by Challenging Tough Question

I find myself taking a passive stance in conversations too much, and I do sometimes have the feeling of being "pinned". Thanks for this effective tip.
I do still have difficulty walking the fine line between turning a question around and coming off as evasive. Although, I also find it increases intrigue when I don't leap to answer every single question like I used to.

Re: Control Your Conversations by Challenging Tough Question

I think if your having problems with girls constantly asking you questions or not letting you get away with evading then you haven't quite got the balance down.

Its got to be natural. Whilst you want to play the part of the 'listener' don't take it too far. It is still important that you do reveal some things about yourself, so don't totally evade every question shes asks. If you have the correct balance then it should seem natural for her and she won't find any need to be combative towards your evasiveness. Obviously its also about 'how' you 'evade' (don't like that word) a question etc, there's a skill in that by itself.

I mean if a girl tells you "You've been doing the 20 question thing, it's my turn to ask you some stuff!" thats a clear sign she doesn't feel that there's a natural FAIR balance to the conversation. Like most elements of seduction, you don't want to have TOO much of this or TOO little of that, its all about balance. You can't come across as too mysterious, this will lead to comfort problems. Try to relate more to the things she says, share a story that relates to something she just said. Listen actively, reflect back to her what she said.

Skeptical Face

Hey Chase,

Sometimes silence is golden, if a girl asks me a question that I don't really feel needs an answer, I'll give her the skeptical look and change the topic. Not so much as an avoidance, if she presses me about it then I say something like "How about I tell you about that while we walk over there." This way you move her while she hopes for an answer.

Dave

Re: Control Your Conversations by Challenging Tough Question

@ Nova,

Nova said:

I think if your having problems with girls constantly asking you questions or not letting you get away with evading then you haven't quite got the balance down.

[snip]

I mean if a girl tells you "You've been doing the 20 question thing, it's my turn to ask you some stuff!" thats a clear sign she doesn't feel that there's a natural FAIR balance to the conversation. Like most elements of seduction, you don't want to have TOO much of this or TOO little of that, its all about balance. You can't come across as too mysterious, this will lead to comfort problems. Try to relate more to the things she says, share a story that relates to something she just said. Listen actively, reflect back to her what she said.

Click to expand...

Great points here. Typically if a girl's grilling you, she's either feeling A) uncomfortable, or B) that maybe you aren't who you say you are (words and actions are incongruent with one another). There's an imbalance somewhere in how you're coming across, and correcting that imbalance fixes a big part of the problem.

@ Dave,

Just_Dave said:

Hey Chase,

Sometimes silence is golden, if a girl asks me a question that I don't really feel needs an answer, I'll give her the skeptical look and change the topic. Not so much as an avoidance, if she presses me about it then I say something like "How about I tell you about that while we walk over there." This way you move her while she hopes for an answer.

Dave

Click to expand...

Yep, right on - that's another great way to answer (or NOT answer!) a "grilling" style question. You can also give her the skeptical look and just hold it, and hold eye contact, until she cracks and back down off the question - this is a pretty effective way of leveraging social pressure to get girls to cool their heels when they're rolling on lots of questions.

Chase

Re: Control Your Conversations by Challenging Tough Question

Thank you Chase, this explained to me what you exactly meant by "challenges" in your book.

Re: Control Your Conversations by Challenging Tough Question

I saw The Tool did "Bump" on some of the older post. Perhaps this week could be great in reviving some older materials.

BUMP!

Zac

Re: Control Your Conversations by Challenging Tough Question

O this is useful thanks

BUMP!