I've been seeing a constant trend since I began studying and helping guys learn how to get better with women. People find "game" usually searching for advice on "How to get a date," "How to get her back," "How to get a girl," or for relationship advice in general. What they don't realize is they just stumbled accross something that could change their lives forever..
Have you ever found youself thinking about a girl, checking your phone every minute, texting how her day is, constantly thinking of grand gestures to "Win her over?" You sit there and think if I could just do this one thing she will fall for you.. I know I have, I have longed over certain girls in my life, waiting, hoping they would come around, only to find out down the road I never had a chance. I would see them get with assholes and guys whom appeared to offer nothing, and wonder why I couldn't get them. Well If you ever felt this way, or ever wanted to get with one girl, you are in for a huge surprise. I am going to unplug you from the matrix, if you are ready..
The one girl.. Who is she?
You know who she is when you think of her, her hair flows gently, her eyes captivate audiences, her body has curves that a Ferrari would envy, she is the girl you WANT. When you think of her you don't care about anyone or anything else, you just can't wait until you are together. Well guess what, thinking like this means you will NEVER get her. That's right you will NEVER EVER EVER get her. You must change the way you view her and other women if you really want this girl and I'm going to help you along your new path.
First, you need to ask yourself, who is she really? What are her likes/dislikes? What does she have to offer besides beauty? Where does she plan on going in life? What are her goals/passions/dreams? Now ask yourself is there anything on that list that is irreplacable? I can tell you right now, everything on that list can be replaced, not only with equal value, but GREATER. You might be thinking, "no way, she's awesome, no girl can match up to her," but you are clouded by a scarcity mindset.
Scarcity vs. Assumed Abundance
Scarcity is very popular with guys who aren't good with women. When a guy views a woman on a pedastal, thinks any ONE woman is better than all the rest, needs to have a certain woman around, he's living in scarcity. One girl either pays attention to the guy or he notices something physical about her he really likes. He will take the attention and assume it means she likes him, he in turn becomes infatuated with her dreaming of what it will be like when they are together. He doesn't focus on any other women and loses sight of reality for extended periods of time.
Assumed Abundance is a term I came accross while learning abundance myself. Abundance meaning there are multiple or many girls in one man's life that he can spend time with, sleep with or date. He has a feeling that he is surrounded by amazing women every day. The funny thing about abundance is you don't necessarily need to actually be surrounded by women because in truth, every man already is.
The man that lives is scarcity needs a woman in his life, the man in abundance has women already and weeds through them until he can find one he truly wants. Imagine if you were able to choose between 20 women which girl you wanted to date. What would your approach look like? Would you shower them with flowers, seranade them from their yard, take them on fancy dinner dates? Hell no right? You would screen each one, finding out every detail about them until you knew which one was the best fit.
Now imagine if you only had one girl to choose from, you would think those grand gestures I mentioned before might work. Since she is your only option, you need them to work. The problem with this is she has TONS of choices, guys talk to her every day, guys that have more to offer her than you do, guys that have abundance. She does not need you and as soon as she senses you need her, it's over.
Stop chasing her!
This is probably going to be the hardest part for guys coming from scarcity that are transitioning into abundance. We are so used to constantly texting, asking questions, making sure we do our very best to please a girl. The problem is women don't want guys like this, they want powerful men that don't bat an eye at them. Men that have women chasing them and know what women want. A powerful man with abundance will NEVER chase a woman. A famous quote in the pickup comminity that Chase Amante repeats all the time "Don't chase em, replace em" - Notorious B.I.G. These are words of a man who is truly indifferent, women come and go from our lives and we must understand they are not imperative to our success as men.
Next time when you think of texting that girl, don't. Go out and start a Newbie assignment instead. Get a pile of phone numbers to the point where you cant even keep track of them all. It's an amazing feeling knowing you have tons of girls on the line for you to choose from.
Even if you want this one girl, DON'T chase her. She needs to feel she doesn't quite have you and start to think of ways to get you. If you give her everything right off the bat it's easy for her to be content and brush you aside. However if you remain scarce and aloof she will desire more of your time and start chasing after you.
But she likes me, she gives me so many IOI's!
IOI - Indicator of interest. You think she likes you because she rubbed your shoulder, she winked at you, half smiled, offered value, kissed your cheek, laughs at what you say, and many other things. Guess what, she does this with EVERY guy. There is nothing special about your interaction. More recently, while learning game, I hang out with groups of women in large social situations. I observe them as they interact with men and what I see is going to blow your mind. These women are constantly bombarded with male attention and they love it. The guys will offer up the whole pie within seconds and the girl gets bored and walks away. Sometimes the girl will see a guy and initiate just to see how far they can get. Once they have them, poof, gone onto the next. They will engage and ask questions with the men literally eating from the palm of their hands.
Imagine you were a pretty girl, wouldn't life be so much easier if all you had to do was touch a guys shoulder and he would willingly tell you how amazing you are, bring you gifts, and invite you out for amazing experiences. Everything you do in their eyes is amazing and you literally cant mess up, they will help you fix it and sometimes fix it for you. It would be a nice feeling to get as much of this as possible right? I know it's awesome, because I live in a world of abundance, just like these women. Why would you tell a guy you're not interested and lose what he gives you, whether it's compliments, help, or a good time?
Now I'm not saying every girl out there will lead a guy on in this manner, but even the nicest, sweetest, most amazing girl enjoys being flattered, showered, pampered, and surrounded by people who care about her. In pickup these are called orbiters. An orbiter is a male friend of a girl that gives some sort of value to the girl. She has no intention of sleeping with him, but he will do anything to spend time with her. I would say any girl ranked 8 or above has multiple orbiters. Some girls will deny this is happening, but believe me it does, even if unintentional.
But what about what society says? Aren't I supposed to convince her I'm worthy?
Somewhere in the last century, we were taught to take a women on a date. We were taught if we bought her fancy things, took her to fancy dinners in our nice cars, we would eventually win her over with a final grand gesture of proposing marriage. Problem is, this is a fairytale, a lie constructed to benefit society. I believe it was constructed to help keep society from spinning out of control because people would ruin their lives over desires, mind you, this is just a personal theory of mine. You were frowned upon if you had multiple sex partners, or sex before marriage. Why is this so? It is in our nature to want to express our sexual desires with another of the opposite sex. It is one of the best physical pleasures on earth, why would it be so if we were supposed to hold back and wait for a special person?
Below are some societal myths that you will learn along your new found journey which I urge you to find out for yourself:
You must wine and dine her
you cant sleep with a girl first date
you cant meet a normal girl and lead her to sex within hours
Chasing after a girl will win her over
Eventually she will like you
You have to be extremely good looking to have women
You have to be rich to get girls
Each one of these and many more will be shattered in your new reality. By going out, approaching new women and building this TRUE reality you will find that all of these myths are just that, myths. You will find that the girl you show the least interest in wants you the most. You wont have to pay for dates or go over the top to get her attention. You will have tons of women to choose from, ultimately ending up with a harem of beautiful women or that special woman with impeccable genese you decide to settle down with.
Where to start?
So now we are exposed to scarcity, abundance, and that we cant chase women. Now, where to start? Depending on your past experience with women will decide where exactly you are in game. You might be a little bit advanced for something as elementary as a Newbie Assignment. However the best place to start is by getting in field. My recommendation to anyone new to game is to definitely refrain from reading article after article, watching video after video, product after product. In reality you do not need ANY pickup material to get good with women, men have been good with women for thousands of years without it and there are tons of naturals and original casanovas.
I urge you to begin approaching women every chance you get pushing your comfort zone. You will immediately begin building reference points and sensing how abundant women really are. With these reference points you will be able to analyze where you got stuck and begin your research based on current sticking points. Learning in this manner will help you from getting overwhelmed with information like most new guys do and help you avoid getting caught up in scripts and routines. Learning too much at once actually hinders progression as you will think some things cant be done and you wont push yourself to find out what can.
That said go approach 10 girls and come back to read these few articles:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/overc ... ch-anxiety
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-a ... are-easily
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-a ... ys-get-yes
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-text-girl
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... -text-back
In my opinion the best place to learn is from Field Reports, these are specific interactions other guys learning have wrote about so they and others can learn. Girls Chase has a section here and my personal favorite is RSDNation where they do tons of challenges. Very inspiring stuff.
Make sure you are learning as you progress
Once you begin you will start learning tons of things very quickly. You should begin writing down things you learned while you were out and things you should work on the next outing. I recommend keeping a personal journal to write down specific interations and point out where you may have messed up. Keep track of this so you know where you have progressed. If you see that the same sticking point keeps repeating itself you can research or ask the community.
What sets you apart from the rest?
What do you offer? Do you even offer? Or are you taking every chance you get? People don't like it when others are constantly leeching their value. They see it coming a mile away, especially women.
When learning game you should be focusing on you, what you offer to others. If you have no talents, no skills, nothing that can help someone else, why would they want anything to do with you? You must learn how to be a great conversationalist, truly care what they have to say, and offer them something, whether it be knowledge, fun, good conversation, sex, loyalty, and tons of other things. What would make them want you around? If you are boring, dull, rude, opinionless, lack experience, then why would they want you there?
Go out there, get some interesting hobbies, build your avatar as interesting as possible. Think of yourself as an ever evolving, endlessly growing entity and the more you are, the more you have inside you the more value you have to offer and people will naturally gravitate towards you. Think of the most interesting man in the world being the high end of the spectrum and a loser that stays at home playing video games with no job, no talents, nothing being low end. Which one do you think gets high quality women?
What game is really about
You may be thinking game is all about getting girls, I can read all this stuff on the internet and it will be the magic pill to getting women. This is definitely a myth. Game is not about getting girls, it's not about lines and routines, it's definitely not a magic pill. It's all about finding who you really are, who you want to become and what you truly want out of life. A real man sets goals, has drive to acheive those goals, and has things larger than himself in mind at all times. He improves as he progresses in life, reaching new heights and acheiving new milestones. This, this is what game is all about.
Your new journey lies ahead if you choose to accept it. You are on your way to becoming the man you always dreamed of becoming having anything and everything you could ever want out of life. Decide what it is your really want, it's not this one girl, I know for a fact.
Have you ever found youself thinking about a girl, checking your phone every minute, texting how her day is, constantly thinking of grand gestures to "Win her over?" You sit there and think if I could just do this one thing she will fall for you.. I know I have, I have longed over certain girls in my life, waiting, hoping they would come around, only to find out down the road I never had a chance. I would see them get with assholes and guys whom appeared to offer nothing, and wonder why I couldn't get them. Well If you ever felt this way, or ever wanted to get with one girl, you are in for a huge surprise. I am going to unplug you from the matrix, if you are ready..
The one girl.. Who is she?
You know who she is when you think of her, her hair flows gently, her eyes captivate audiences, her body has curves that a Ferrari would envy, she is the girl you WANT. When you think of her you don't care about anyone or anything else, you just can't wait until you are together. Well guess what, thinking like this means you will NEVER get her. That's right you will NEVER EVER EVER get her. You must change the way you view her and other women if you really want this girl and I'm going to help you along your new path.
First, you need to ask yourself, who is she really? What are her likes/dislikes? What does she have to offer besides beauty? Where does she plan on going in life? What are her goals/passions/dreams? Now ask yourself is there anything on that list that is irreplacable? I can tell you right now, everything on that list can be replaced, not only with equal value, but GREATER. You might be thinking, "no way, she's awesome, no girl can match up to her," but you are clouded by a scarcity mindset.
Scarcity vs. Assumed Abundance
Scarcity is very popular with guys who aren't good with women. When a guy views a woman on a pedastal, thinks any ONE woman is better than all the rest, needs to have a certain woman around, he's living in scarcity. One girl either pays attention to the guy or he notices something physical about her he really likes. He will take the attention and assume it means she likes him, he in turn becomes infatuated with her dreaming of what it will be like when they are together. He doesn't focus on any other women and loses sight of reality for extended periods of time.
Assumed Abundance is a term I came accross while learning abundance myself. Abundance meaning there are multiple or many girls in one man's life that he can spend time with, sleep with or date. He has a feeling that he is surrounded by amazing women every day. The funny thing about abundance is you don't necessarily need to actually be surrounded by women because in truth, every man already is.
The man that lives is scarcity needs a woman in his life, the man in abundance has women already and weeds through them until he can find one he truly wants. Imagine if you were able to choose between 20 women which girl you wanted to date. What would your approach look like? Would you shower them with flowers, seranade them from their yard, take them on fancy dinner dates? Hell no right? You would screen each one, finding out every detail about them until you knew which one was the best fit.
Now imagine if you only had one girl to choose from, you would think those grand gestures I mentioned before might work. Since she is your only option, you need them to work. The problem with this is she has TONS of choices, guys talk to her every day, guys that have more to offer her than you do, guys that have abundance. She does not need you and as soon as she senses you need her, it's over.
Stop chasing her!
This is probably going to be the hardest part for guys coming from scarcity that are transitioning into abundance. We are so used to constantly texting, asking questions, making sure we do our very best to please a girl. The problem is women don't want guys like this, they want powerful men that don't bat an eye at them. Men that have women chasing them and know what women want. A powerful man with abundance will NEVER chase a woman. A famous quote in the pickup comminity that Chase Amante repeats all the time "Don't chase em, replace em" - Notorious B.I.G. These are words of a man who is truly indifferent, women come and go from our lives and we must understand they are not imperative to our success as men.
Next time when you think of texting that girl, don't. Go out and start a Newbie assignment instead. Get a pile of phone numbers to the point where you cant even keep track of them all. It's an amazing feeling knowing you have tons of girls on the line for you to choose from.
Even if you want this one girl, DON'T chase her. She needs to feel she doesn't quite have you and start to think of ways to get you. If you give her everything right off the bat it's easy for her to be content and brush you aside. However if you remain scarce and aloof she will desire more of your time and start chasing after you.
But she likes me, she gives me so many IOI's!
IOI - Indicator of interest. You think she likes you because she rubbed your shoulder, she winked at you, half smiled, offered value, kissed your cheek, laughs at what you say, and many other things. Guess what, she does this with EVERY guy. There is nothing special about your interaction. More recently, while learning game, I hang out with groups of women in large social situations. I observe them as they interact with men and what I see is going to blow your mind. These women are constantly bombarded with male attention and they love it. The guys will offer up the whole pie within seconds and the girl gets bored and walks away. Sometimes the girl will see a guy and initiate just to see how far they can get. Once they have them, poof, gone onto the next. They will engage and ask questions with the men literally eating from the palm of their hands.
Imagine you were a pretty girl, wouldn't life be so much easier if all you had to do was touch a guys shoulder and he would willingly tell you how amazing you are, bring you gifts, and invite you out for amazing experiences. Everything you do in their eyes is amazing and you literally cant mess up, they will help you fix it and sometimes fix it for you. It would be a nice feeling to get as much of this as possible right? I know it's awesome, because I live in a world of abundance, just like these women. Why would you tell a guy you're not interested and lose what he gives you, whether it's compliments, help, or a good time?
Now I'm not saying every girl out there will lead a guy on in this manner, but even the nicest, sweetest, most amazing girl enjoys being flattered, showered, pampered, and surrounded by people who care about her. In pickup these are called orbiters. An orbiter is a male friend of a girl that gives some sort of value to the girl. She has no intention of sleeping with him, but he will do anything to spend time with her. I would say any girl ranked 8 or above has multiple orbiters. Some girls will deny this is happening, but believe me it does, even if unintentional.
But what about what society says? Aren't I supposed to convince her I'm worthy?
Somewhere in the last century, we were taught to take a women on a date. We were taught if we bought her fancy things, took her to fancy dinners in our nice cars, we would eventually win her over with a final grand gesture of proposing marriage. Problem is, this is a fairytale, a lie constructed to benefit society. I believe it was constructed to help keep society from spinning out of control because people would ruin their lives over desires, mind you, this is just a personal theory of mine. You were frowned upon if you had multiple sex partners, or sex before marriage. Why is this so? It is in our nature to want to express our sexual desires with another of the opposite sex. It is one of the best physical pleasures on earth, why would it be so if we were supposed to hold back and wait for a special person?
Below are some societal myths that you will learn along your new found journey which I urge you to find out for yourself:
You must wine and dine her
you cant sleep with a girl first date
you cant meet a normal girl and lead her to sex within hours
Chasing after a girl will win her over
Eventually she will like you
You have to be extremely good looking to have women
You have to be rich to get girls
Each one of these and many more will be shattered in your new reality. By going out, approaching new women and building this TRUE reality you will find that all of these myths are just that, myths. You will find that the girl you show the least interest in wants you the most. You wont have to pay for dates or go over the top to get her attention. You will have tons of women to choose from, ultimately ending up with a harem of beautiful women or that special woman with impeccable genese you decide to settle down with.
Where to start?
So now we are exposed to scarcity, abundance, and that we cant chase women. Now, where to start? Depending on your past experience with women will decide where exactly you are in game. You might be a little bit advanced for something as elementary as a Newbie Assignment. However the best place to start is by getting in field. My recommendation to anyone new to game is to definitely refrain from reading article after article, watching video after video, product after product. In reality you do not need ANY pickup material to get good with women, men have been good with women for thousands of years without it and there are tons of naturals and original casanovas.
I urge you to begin approaching women every chance you get pushing your comfort zone. You will immediately begin building reference points and sensing how abundant women really are. With these reference points you will be able to analyze where you got stuck and begin your research based on current sticking points. Learning in this manner will help you from getting overwhelmed with information like most new guys do and help you avoid getting caught up in scripts and routines. Learning too much at once actually hinders progression as you will think some things cant be done and you wont push yourself to find out what can.
That said go approach 10 girls and come back to read these few articles:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/overc ... ch-anxiety
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-a ... are-easily
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-a ... ys-get-yes
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-text-girl
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... -text-back
In my opinion the best place to learn is from Field Reports, these are specific interactions other guys learning have wrote about so they and others can learn. Girls Chase has a section here and my personal favorite is RSDNation where they do tons of challenges. Very inspiring stuff.
Make sure you are learning as you progress
Once you begin you will start learning tons of things very quickly. You should begin writing down things you learned while you were out and things you should work on the next outing. I recommend keeping a personal journal to write down specific interations and point out where you may have messed up. Keep track of this so you know where you have progressed. If you see that the same sticking point keeps repeating itself you can research or ask the community.
What sets you apart from the rest?
What do you offer? Do you even offer? Or are you taking every chance you get? People don't like it when others are constantly leeching their value. They see it coming a mile away, especially women.
When learning game you should be focusing on you, what you offer to others. If you have no talents, no skills, nothing that can help someone else, why would they want anything to do with you? You must learn how to be a great conversationalist, truly care what they have to say, and offer them something, whether it be knowledge, fun, good conversation, sex, loyalty, and tons of other things. What would make them want you around? If you are boring, dull, rude, opinionless, lack experience, then why would they want you there?
Go out there, get some interesting hobbies, build your avatar as interesting as possible. Think of yourself as an ever evolving, endlessly growing entity and the more you are, the more you have inside you the more value you have to offer and people will naturally gravitate towards you. Think of the most interesting man in the world being the high end of the spectrum and a loser that stays at home playing video games with no job, no talents, nothing being low end. Which one do you think gets high quality women?
What game is really about
You may be thinking game is all about getting girls, I can read all this stuff on the internet and it will be the magic pill to getting women. This is definitely a myth. Game is not about getting girls, it's not about lines and routines, it's definitely not a magic pill. It's all about finding who you really are, who you want to become and what you truly want out of life. A real man sets goals, has drive to acheive those goals, and has things larger than himself in mind at all times. He improves as he progresses in life, reaching new heights and acheiving new milestones. This, this is what game is all about.
Your new journey lies ahead if you choose to accept it. You are on your way to becoming the man you always dreamed of becoming having anything and everything you could ever want out of life. Decide what it is your really want, it's not this one girl, I know for a fact.
