Where did I screw up?



Where did I screw up?

Postby Sasan » Fri Mar 29, 2019 7:40 am

Hey dudes

I went on a date yesterday with some smoking hot chick. We met up at a bus stop and then went to walk around a high street for window shopping. I tried to set up a date for drinks more than once but she didn’t seem to be too interested in that, she would pull out last minute each time so I tried something different and it worked. Just to put some context into it: When she would flake, I would stop contacting her until she called/messaged me and she did each time. I would do the same as usual, small talk and then try to arrange a meet. This chick apparently hasn’t dated for a year or so, of course that’s what she claims but you can never know. Either way it’s better to give them the benefit of the doubt.

We met up, bit of small talk and just general chat. I was nervous AF. I proceeded to ask about her to see my options of what I can do with her i.e. who she lives with etc. She was one of those girls who would talk a lot so I let her talk which is always a good sign. We got along well, there were a few weird things here and there but generally it was nice. We sat and ate at a restaurant after walking around a lot. We walked around and talked some more. At this point I asked her if she would go on a second date because we were soon gonna head home. She said she was happy with it then we continued talking about random stuff.

OK this is where things kind of fucked up. I stopped her at a quiet place, and I don’t know if she was nervous or just not feeling it but she was saying some really random stuff. There wasn’t much eye contact so I waited then turned to her. She jumped away. That’s a bad thing. What I take from it, is that she did not want to kiss at all. So she as like “what are you doing! You scared me”. Then I kind of brushed it off, said some silly stuff and she walked ahead a bit. This was also a bad sign, walking away from me when I initiated such a thing. Then I said “well if we gonna head home, we should kiss goodbye at least”. Then she laughed saying “you actually said that? Why would you say???? LOL”. At this point I was thinking that I should have just tried to do it, so I did about 30 sec later and she just pushed me away and laughed and just said “I can’t, I can’t lol” and started laughing a lot.

Man…. This was the worst. I don’t think I was weird, maybe I went too fast but I really do not see anything majorly wrong with what I did. I felt so bad from the reaction. We started to head home and then she was still somewhat laughing. I thought she was laughing at how pathetic I was but on reflection I do not think it was because of that. So I said “sorry it wasn’t what you expected tonight”. Then she says “whatttt?? What are you talking about? That has nothing to do with it…… are you disappointed?”. Then I said “nah I just don’t feel great from that”. Then she says “I’m sorry”. Then there was about, 5minutes silence as we walked home? That’s a long time. She said a few things but she wasn’t talking a lot like before. I could tell she was uncomfortable at this point because even when I tried to talk, there wasn’t much response, just an answer. Last thing she said was “message me tomorrow” then hugged and left.
Can you guys look at this from an outside perspective and tell everywhere that I went wrong?
Sasan


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Re: Where did I screw up?

Postby ElderPrice » Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:50 pm

There's a lot you did wrong lol. First and foremost before going down that route, has she texted you today? Also, you've first got to see if you can get her out on a second date. If you actually get her out on a second date, then amazingly you couldn't have screwed up that bad because she still wants to see you again!

Now as far as your mistakes, based on what you wrote the #1 thing that stands out to me is that it reads like you went for or wanted a kiss because you have an idea in your head that that's just how dates are supposed to go. Does that make sense? Like you were thinking in your head "people kiss at the end of a date, right? then I need to follow that rule and try it." Don't do that. Your goal throughout the whole date should be to bring her home, not give her a peck at the end of the night.

You'll probably benefit from actually trying NOT to kiss her during the date. Now, if she lounges at you for a kiss, that's fine haha. But otherwise, give yourself a rule that you won't kiss her until she's back at your place or even naked in your bed. Your dates will probably go better. Rather than worrying about 'is this the right time to kiss her?!?' you can focus on things like investment, compliance, and moving her around until you're both back at your place.
ElderPrice


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Re: Where did I screw up?

Postby Optymistyk » Sun Apr 14, 2019 7:17 pm

Simple. She wasn't comfortable with the kiss. She wasn't comfortable with the sexual tension. Instead of building up the tension you just had a nice friendly chat and then suddenly you went for a kiss.
Optymistyk


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