Hi, new to this and completely demoralized. Keen to start.



Hi, new to this and completely demoralized. Keen to start.

Postby HiddenLurker » Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:25 pm

Hello everyone,

I'm new to this whole seduction thing (heard about it and read the theories few years back but didn't really actively apply them, but concepts are familiar to me whenever I read content/forum posts now) and I'm keen to start changing my life in this aspect. Hope all of you veterans out there can help a fellow out.

1. Where do I start and what's the best way to learn these stuff? In university I always write down notes for everything no matter what, but it seems seduction is something best practiced as opposed to 'writing notes'.

2. I have this huge problem whereby I see many HOT girls on Tinder and I instantly go into auto-rejection because I know I'm 'not good enough', I'm a 'nice guy' that girls generally don't desire - don't get me wrong I know I have to be a 'bad boy' whilst not being a complete asshole, a mix of both is the ideal composition, but I think my real problem is that I don't have the bad boy look that appeals to these hot chicks on Tinder (or at least that's what I think my barrier is). I can attract girls, but they're usually either unattractive, fat, or just simply not the ones that I'm aiming for. I guess the real problem is that I know I need to get good but I'm just so demoralized everytime I see these hot chicks on Tinder but I can never get them. Not to mention I feel super intimidated as well, and I guess it just hurts my ego knowing that internally I can never get them. Is this normal or am I just freaking screwed?

2a. Is the whole 'bad boy' look absolutely necessary? I suspect on dating apps like Tinder it is crucial because of first impression and all. I literally don't smoke, nor do I have tattoos or piercings.

2b. In relation to above, I guess it's also more like an 'achievement' to myself, being able to get a girl that I WANT the moment I see them, instead of 'satisficing' whereby I just go for the next best available option by default.

3. How do I get these hot girls? Or rather, how can I make them chase me? I understand it's a generic question, but literally these are the kinds of girls I've never been able to get. It's like I'm maybe a 7/10 and I always can only get 7/10 girls, not these 9/10 or 10/10 girls (in my eyes).

More context:

I'm Asian living in SEA whereby culture I guess is generally not as open as America for instance. Used to be a hardcore gamer / loser / bullied kid, grew out of it but you can basically guess my social and love life were pretty shit since I already grew up with this 'disadvantage' and my circle of friends were all the nerds, and birds of the same feather flock together, etc etc. Not here to complain about me playing the game on a higher difficulty - but it's going to be a long journey for me.

Any help and input would be greatly appreciated!

Cheers,
HiddenLurker
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Re: Hi, new to this and completely demoralized. Keen to start.

Postby onespiritualpitcher » Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:32 pm

Day game. Start small, like asking people for the time or directions to some place if you have big time approach anxiety. When you get comfortable introducing yourself to people you think are worth meeting on the street, in cafes, in parks, in bars, wherever, you’ll be surprised at how many people will give you the time of day and want to chat. Especially attractive women. Be honest, tell them you like their dress, or ask them if they’ve seen a movie that you’ve seen recently that you liked, or tell them that you have social anxiety and are really nervous and want to overcome it so that’s why you’re saying hi to them.

From there it’s all about becoming a good conversationalist and relating man to woman with the women you’re attracted to.

NoFAP can really really really help with minimizing approach anxiety.

I’ve never been to Seattle, but I’m sure it’s a solid city for day game. Plus you could bop up/down to Vancouver or Portland to mix things up.

Meet a wing and go out together sometimes. You probably will improve faster than if you do it completely alone every single time.
Alchemy: transforming suffering into love.
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Re: Hi, new to this and completely demoralized. Keen to start.

Postby HiddenLurker » Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:29 pm

Thanks for the reply. Just wanted to clarify, SEA as in South East Asia, specifically Singapore, hahaha.

Okay, will work on cold approach - probably gonna look crazy over here because generally Chinese culture is that if you talk to strangers on the street, everyone gives you a super odd look like you're a psycho lol.

What do you think about dating apps? Getting matches, texting them and then getting them out on dates.
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Re: Hi, new to this and completely demoralized. Keen to start.

Postby onespiritualpitcher » Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:49 am

HiddenLurker wrote:Thanks for the reply. Just wanted to clarify, SEA as in South East Asia, specifically Singapore, hahaha.

Okay, will work on cold approach - probably gonna look crazy over here because generally Chinese culture is that if you talk to strangers on the street, everyone gives you a super odd look like you're a psycho lol.

What do you think about dating apps? Getting matches, texting them and then getting them out on dates.

Ohhhhh South East Asia hahahaha...yeah I can’t speak from experience there, I’ve never been to Singapore.

I don’t have much advice for dating apps.

Maybe try to visit touristy areas and hit up the tourist to practice your day game if you think locals will be too closed off to your approaches (almost anyone can be won over though when you’re in flow). I can imagine a pretty tourist girl would love to be taken to some lesser known cafe or bar that you think is cool ;)
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