Marriage  Making it seem like her idea

Hi guys,

Traditionally, at least in the popular imagination, it has been men who take the lead in moving a relationship forward: think of the classical proposal, a man requesting a woman's hand in marriage.

From what I understand from this forum (and forgive me if I am confusing it with messages from another site, but most of what I have read about the theory of seduction has been here at Girls Chase), contemporary best practice advises flipping the script on its head and having the woman push for greater relationship commitment, or at least making her think that it was her idea in the first place. Or did I read that wrong?

Is it somehow considered weak these days for the man to initiate commitment? Is this purely an issue of social change, or does modern theory claim to have a better understanding of the true desires of men and women? I am not really clear on the reasons for the switch or indeed whether I have it correct, and whether it applies to all men and women.

Thank you,
Marty

Marty,

From what I understand from this forum (and forgive me if I am confusing it with messages from another site, but most of what I have read about the theory of seduction has been here at Girls Chase), contemporary best practice advises flipping the script on its head and having the woman push for greater relationship commitment, or at least making her think that it was her idea in the first place. Or did I read that wrong?

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This is correct. =)

Is it somehow considered weak these days for the man to initiate commitment?

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It's not considered weak by the media and society (which can mostly be referred to as "hypnosis" at this point, lol), but any instance of a man pushing for "more" commitment from a woman is relatively weak and needy. As taught by GC, men chase sex, and women chase relationships. Whenever a man is chasing for further commitment from one instance of a relationship, he is over-providing the woman with security and placing her on a pedestal. Why would a man willingly commit more of his resources to one woman when she has not even pushed for it? Does he feel like he needs to provide these resources to maintain her attraction? Why do other men not offer this same woman these resources? Are they more aware of the fact that fantastic women are easy to come by?

These are lots of the little "secret" truths society will not reveal. So while initiating commitment is seen as a "strong" motion by the mainstream media, it's underlying sentiment is actually rather weak -- women want to chase the men that seem harder to catch. Not the ones that hand themselves to them on a silver platter.

Is this purely an issue of social change, or does modern theory claim to have a better understanding of the true desires of men and women? I am not really clear on the reasons for the switch or indeed whether I have it correct, and whether it applies to all men and women.

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I'm not sure how much of a "switch" this is, and whether or not it's a "switch" depends on how far back in history you go. If you go back far enough, you'll probably find times where men were "given" a wife along with multiple mistresses to spread his seed, and that was the norm. So maybe in the last century or so this feels like a "switch," but in reality, my hunch tells me that it's never been a switch -- it's just been that mainstream society and the media (now very-much controlled by left-wing forces and women) push the idea that "strong" men initiate commitment. Yet, if you investigate under the hood, it's the men who often evade commitment (and seek sex) who are the most sought after!

Good to see you around the boards again, Marty! =)

- Franco

Thanks for a very succinct explanation Franco. Good to be back in touch as well.

I am not in any relationship at the moment but I found myself wondering about this as I would like the next one to be serious and committed if possible. As you may know I have been married before and I don't remember exactly who pushed for what but I definitely did not get everything right that time