Long-Term  Losing my mind over nothing?

ShadowBeginner

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Rookie
Joined
Feb 14, 2016
Messages
7
So over the past couple weeks, i have been getting this hunch my girlfriend is cheating on me. She hasn't not given me any reasons except that she went to bed early(About 10 PM even though it has been a test week and she claimed to be really tired) two nights last week and one in this week. After it started to happen I began overanalyzing things she's been saying and doing and it has really been getting to me. Based on the fact that no other signs are present I figure it's all in my head but I would like to listen to other's input on the matter. Also, i have been going through extreme hardships in my life(No job and family issues) so my confidence has taken a huge hit. That's where I figure it's all coming from. Despite that, i've done my best to not let it affect my relationship with her. I have been leading and being dominant, providing her with security and such as best as I can. She has shown no other signs, has not been distant and secretive and such. I know that if I show weakness or insecurity if I start asking questions, pointing fingers and stalking her for no reason then I will certainly be cheated on. What do you guys think of this?
 

Zaxxon23

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 26, 2015
Messages
25
Having just got over a period of unemployment lasting one year and two months, I can certainly relate to your life challenges and the diminishing of confidence. While I managed to have girlfriends during this time, I just simply wasn't as dominant and sure of myself during this time, and it hurts relations because you start to feel like a fake. And when you start to feel like a fake, she'll start to feel like you're a fake, because if you believe it so should she. Likely your concerns about her are an extension of your concerns about yourself, then you become needy as she begins to be the only light in a sea of darkness.

Best advice I can give...focus on getting your life back on track. When you put your energies there you'll be far less needy and dependent, and by focusing on the task at hand you show your strength and create unavailability, both attractive traits to her. Before you know it she'll be asking what she can do to help, which will make her invest more in your relationship and build a stronger bond.
 

ShadowBeginner

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Joined
Feb 14, 2016
Messages
7
It is really a tough thing being unemployed. I started to see some light at the end of the tunnel but still nothing concrete. Thanks for the advice. I figured that more important than actually having success is trying. Your girl will see that you are doing everything possible to change your situation and if things aren't working out it might not necessarily be your fault. She will admire your will power and even ask to help you like you said. Best thing to do is move forward. Thanks!
 
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