Seppuku's Journey into Seduction

ElderPrice

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Seppuku said:
Hey,

The girls who say they don't want kids today may change their minds when they get closer to 30 years old. But yeah, that was big lines thinking. There are certainly exploitable loopholes. For instance, I could go for girls in the range 23 to 27 y.o. (they still have time before the kids alarm rings), then rotate every two to three years (which is the usual "length" of most relationships).

The question still arises when you meet a girl that you really like, and she wants kids. Are you ready to let her go?
If you for sure don't want more kids, then you have to be.

But you haven't had a vasectomy, right? So you're leaving the door open that maybe some day you might be open to more, right? If that's the case, is having more kids really so terrible if the reward is a perfect LTR for you?

Otherwise consider how insanely narrow your target is: Must be young, childless, and definitively does not ever want children. This is like when a noob says "I only approach 10s." You'd give him a funny look because you know how many great girls and great experiences he's missing out on by having such a narrow target criteria.

Perhaps something similar is happening to you? IE. Would you really turn down perfect girlfriends for you because she might want kids in the future? Is it really better to rob yourself of experiencing life with her because you don't feel like more kids at the moment? Is there a point where it becomes worth it?

Just my thoughts.
 

Seppuku

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Hey ElderPrice,

Thanks again for your input. Good to see that we are in the same line of thinking. So we agree that the conclusion is unavoidable.

That may sound a little strange to guys who are still at the early stage of learning Seduction. Initially we all go into this with the hopes of accessing lots of fun sex with pretty girls.

But once you have done that, five years down the road you realize that having sex with a new girl is not such a big deal it once was. If I work my ass off, I know I can have sex with a new girl within two weeks if I want.

It also becomes quite repetitive. Just another chick. Increase the lay count. Rinse, repeat.

At this stage, you don't want to just fuck another girl. You now want a woman you really like, and build a meaningful human interaction with her.

That raises the question of what the end game of Seduction is. It is probably a personal question. For me, it has to be more than just increasing laycount ad eternam. I view it as getting better relationships, with better girls, with terms more favorable to the man.
 

ElderPrice

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Seppuku said:
That raises the question of what the end game of Seduction is. It is probably a personal question. For me, it has to be more than just increasing laycount ad eternam. I view it as getting better relationships, with better girls, with terms more favorable to the man.
I imagine there's arguably two end games for game/seduction.
1. Keep getting better and better results as a single man. Meaning, you can just keep expanding your goals of tougher things to master. IE: Get good at pulling a girl -> Get good at pulling each time you go out -> Get good at all possible avenues of game (cold approach, social circle, young girls, taken girls, etc.) -> Get good at pulling a threesome, foursome consistently -> Get so good at social circle you're rolling with the most famous people in town and banging the most famous/hottest/exclusive girls in town -> Build giant harems -> Repeat in multiple cities. Something like that.

2. Learn all you have to to attract and keep the EXACT women you want to marry/have kids with/raise your kids. This probably involves learning how to attract and keep stunningly gorgeous women.

At least those are the end games I can envision. Not sure what other alternatives are there.
 

Fuck This

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Re: June 11th - belated update

Seppuku said:
It is about time that I post an update here.

Today's main matter is going to be miss K - one of the girls that really mattered to me in the last few years. Like I mentioned in my previous entry, things have been picking up again with her since January.

It turns out that the main thing that was working against me in the two years we've seen each other was: I disqualified myself as a BF candidate far too well when we first met. More specifically, I had told her on our very first meeting:
Seppuku said:
I already have two kids, and not looking to add further responsibilities on my back at my age.
And yes, this is something that I have more or less said to every girl I met, in order to tune down the expectations. And it turned out that it was the ultimate BF disqualifier. When my own expectations increased towards something more serious with miss K, all she was thinking was "he said he doesn't want kids. This can only be a dead end."

Sooner or later, they want kids

This brings me back to the question of kids. I have already faced this issue with my 2015 GF Lucy, which ultimately got pregnant from another man - as detailed in my Sep 30th, 2018 entry. I wrote then:
Seppuku said:
But it made me think.

Time passes, and ultimately all these pretty sexy darlings will have to move on with their lives, settle and make families and babies. That's life! And I did the same in my own time. So it's going to be one of two things. Either I settle with one and give her the family she needs. Or they all leave me one after the other, and condemn me to rotate new girls forever. The last one is not necessarily a bad option... as long as I'm able to bring new girls. I've been gifted with favorable genetics which make me look 8 - 10 years younger than my age. But how long is this going to last?

The way I see it, I am facing three possibilities:
  • Go for a girlfriend 20 - 25 years younger than me, but sooner or later she will ask for kids;
  • Or go for a girlfriend in her 40s, who already has kids and don't want more;This was my decision
  • Or keep changing girlfriends every 6 months
I'm not into older women. At all. Plus, I would then have to deal with her kids. I might as well deal with my own! Keeping changing girlfriends regularly: well, I have been doing just that for five years. Yes, there is a lot of fun in diversity. But it gets repetitive and kind of boring after a while. Ultimately, it feels a little sterile.

So I'm left with my favorite option, namely going for girlfriends 20+ years younger than me... And sooner or later the kids question will arise. As I have already seen with Lucy, if you can't meet this demand, well, too bad, she will just get pregnant from another man.

By the way, there resides the power of the Beta. A woman is sexually excited by an Alpha guy who is sexual and preselected. She loves being swiped on her feet by such a guy. Then next, she tries to attach the guy to her and make him provide to her safety needs. But the guy is too busy coping with all the sexual demand. She leaves him in frustration and decide to settle instead with a quiet, stable Beta provider. Less sexually exciting, but at least she gets the safety part... Eventually, most of them won't be able to tame an Alpha, and step down for a Beta... And that's how Betas eventually get the girls!

So, back to my story. If I don't want to see the girls I like getting pregnant from someone else all the time, I have two options:

  • Becoming a cynical, heartless guy who piles up lay after lay forever after.
  • Soften my stance.

I have to remember that I began this journey by overcoming a temptation to bitterness. I didn't avoid becoming bitter, to eventually become cynical. The conclusion is inevitable: I will have to soften my stance.

And you, younger man reading this, consider it's just a matter of time until you face the same question :)

Miss K

We discussed this topic and I told her that I'm actually open on the questions of kids. I just know it is an important part of life, and I know that it is somewhat part of the deal if I prefer going for younger girls. The alternative is the old mamas... We have an understanding that the door is open on this subject.

Once this question was resolved, it all went smoothly with her. Her behavior with me changed, and she now feels like an attached woman. I saw her two times in Nairobi since then, we spent a very good time together with lots of bonding and amazing sex.

For now the plan is to manage the relationship over the distance. We will try and keep these regular meetings like every two months. If it holds good, there will be plans for my post-Qatar days.

Mini - FR. The drunk girl

While I'm at it, I want to mention an amusing FR that happened two weeks ago while being in Paris. I was having a late dinner in a brasserie (brewery / restaurant) in Paris. Next table, there was a young blonde girl that gave me a quick smile my way while talking on the phone. From the conversation, I could recognize Russian language.

I finished my dinner. And ultimately, she finished her phone call. I turned towards her, and said "cheers", and we raised our wine glasses. I turned back towards my table, but she now started talking to me. She was in her early twenties, blonde, blue eyes, thin body, quite pretty. So now I moved to her table and we started talking.

Little deep diving, she talks excitedly. I extend my hand towards her. She looks at my hand, touch it... then places her hand in mine. I pretext the noisy background, to come and sit on the same side of the table, just next to her. Soon, it warms up, and she asks where I live and if I'm going to show her my hotel. "Not making love, just seeing your room". Aaahh yeah of course. Girls with their ASD...

Time to pay the bills and leave. When she stands up, I realize she is drunk... like dead drunk. She can't walk straight, at all. It is absolutely obvious to everyone looking. How am I going to bring that in my hotel? How is it going to look like? I can also see how this could potentially fire back big time. I don't particularly enjoy making love to drunken meat, too!

So I did the right thing. I walked her back to her home. She wouldn't give her phone number. Oh well. I just left. I've been there. Made the same decision. Glad I did.

Back in the hotel, I went to the bar and chatted the bartender. I asked him what he would have done if it was him. He said "Long ago I decided that I preferred regretting the things I did, rather than the thing I didn't do!" LOL. So what would you guys have done?




I would have other things to report... But better leave them for another entry. So that's all for today!

Cheers,
Seppuku

I chose an LTR that had the nurturing demeanor that I wanted around MY remaining child in the house 50% of the time. It was a conscious decision over frequent rotations of less relationship-material type women. But this woman satisfies my sex appetite quite readily. Her children live some distance away .
 

Seppuku

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Re: June 11th - belated update

Hey FT,

Fuck This said:
I chose an LTR that had the nurturing demeanor that I wanted around MY remaining child in the house 50% of the time. It was a conscious decision over frequent rotations of less relationship-material type women. But this woman satisfies my sex appetite quite readily. Her children live some distance away .
Thanks for your input. It's interesting to hear the perspective from the other choice (older GF who already had kids). The compatibility with your child is also an important factor for sure.

Over the years I had a few girls over 40 but I didn't find the experience nearly as satisfying as with a girl twenty years younger. But I'm not in Europe / North America. The older girls I had were all Asian. You tend to find "better preserved" older women in Western countries. I just didn't experience one of these.

In the meantime the girl that I'm talking about here (miss K) is an insanely sexy 30 years old Kenyan.

Also thank you for your feedback regarding the mini FR. That Brazilian barman at the hotel gave me a shadow of a doubt. But yeah, you confirm my decision. And other guys to whom I talked told me they would have done the same.

Cheers,
Seppuku
 

Seppuku

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The end of my Qatar episode, and other stuff

Well, it's been a long time I didn't write here, and it's time for an update.

2020: the end of the Qatar episode
It was supposed to happen in 2016, but back then the HR told me "I don't want to see your [resignation] letter. Let me find something else for you." And I got myself into a new role, in another Department, and got a raise. But now, nearly 4 years later, I feel I have finally exhausted the possibilities of this. I will go through the next round of annual bonus scheme in January, then some time in February or March planning to give my resignation, hopefully this time for good.

For you young reader wondering why the fuck a western guy like myself would go and work in the Gulf, the answer is simple. Take the salary you are earning, and multiply by two or three, plus no income tax, that's what you get for working in the Gulf in the same position. It is particularly interesting if you are mid to late career, which is my case. The reason for that is that these Gulf monarchies do not have enough national workforce, let alone educated workforce, to run their countries by themselves. So they have been relying for decades on foreigners to operate their countries. Add to that that the newest generation of young nationals is already wasted with money without even working for it. They are not willing to work their ass off, like we are used to in the West. They would rather take daddy's Maserati and show off at the mall. LOL. I'm barely exaggerating. It is an actual societal problem that the Gulf monarchies are trying (quite powerlessly) to deal with.

I will miss this country though. I have been here since 2011, so going to 9 years. During this time, the main city Doha has changed a lot, for good. The country has massively invested into its infrastructures, ahead of the 2022 World Cup. Doha is now a city with world class infrastructure while at the same time keeping its Muslim roots, culture and identity, which make it feel more authentic than Dubai.

In spite of all my own fears and expectations, this city actually turned out to be a little dating paradise. It's the last country in the world where I would have thought becoming an advanced Seducer. But yeah! In fact, the local culture is quite tolerant and do not care what you do, as long as you are discreet and do not splash scandal. In that respect, getting involved with a Qatari lady (there are some very pretty ones to be fair!) would have been the dangerous and stupid thing to do, with many ways it could backfire. But it is probably 85% of foreigners in this country. So I tapped into the foreigner girls.

The single white girl segment here is extremely small, and chased after by every single red blooded male in the country. So I stayed away from it. That's how I got involved with so many Philippines, Chinese, and Kenyan girls here. There were also some large segments, such as Indian girls, or Ethiopian girls, for which I never found an entry point. Just got one Indian, one Ethiopian. Would have loved to explore these more. Oh well.

Now the question is what next.


Attempt at relationship with miss K
That has taken me a lot of time and energy. She's in Nairobi and me in Doha, separated by 6 hr flight. I went to see her five times since we got back together in April. Apart from that, a lot of the energy was deployed into keeping this alive and well across Long Distance. It was not easy, I must admit, but it went OK.

We were more or less having plans of moving in together in my post Qatar days.

However in the last four weeks a number of things have cast big doubts on that. Without getting into the little shitty details, let's state a few facts:
  • At the last minute, she bailed out of our new year plans which would have involved her meeting my children
  • I insisted, told her that I need to know now that she is going to accept my kids
  • She bailed out again, went offline to dodge the conversation
I would have been OK with this sort of shit twenty years ago. But I needed to know that both my kids, and her, at least accept each other, before taking a decision like moving in together. I understand the apprehension of getting my children approval. But it she dodges now, she will dodge later even more. With time, this will turn into a big issue. I may be wrong, yeah, but the moment to know was now. Later might be too late.

Also, her going offline in order to dodge the conversation, is a big red flag to me.

It is a pity. No one is supposed to be perfect. She has many good things going on for her. But my gut feelings tell me I will be more happy alone without worries of this kind. It is the last thing I need in my life. So well, I ended this.

Somehow, I expect her to be back and try to salvage this. Maybe tomorrow, or maybe in January. Will see.

The post Qatar plans
The way I see it today, I will seek to get the Special Retirement Residency Visa in the Philippines, like I intended to do in 2016. I have a small flat already paid for in Cebu. Rotating tons of Filipinas is something I'm good at, and it sounds like a very nice plan to me. Plenty of beaches and boobs forever after.

One thing is sure, I am not thinking of applying to a salary job again. Bye bye my CV, bye bye HRs and job interviews and "Why do you want to work for us?" non sense.

I have saved money to sustain myself and family for quite some time. However I don't intend to remain inactive. I will likely try to setup some sort of business that will give me some complementary revenues. But not in my first year. The first year will be about settling in and making myself a few girlfriends in the process :)

Strength training progress
I have seen some nice progress in all my lifts since my last update! Here is where I stand:

Deadlift: 145 kg for 5, or 160 kg for 1. I think I'm ready to attempt 165.
Squats: 120 kg for 3 sets of 5. Probably ready to attempt 123 x 5 or even 125 x 5.
Overhead Press: I've done 48 kg for 5 strict presses. My 1RM is 54 kg.
Bench Press. Still my weakest lift. I managed 73 kg for 5.
Pendlay Rows: I've rowed 90kg for 5.
Push Press. I have one tested rep at 60 kg. But I only started recently. I am probably already able to do more than that.

In terms of body composition, I'm 82 kg, probably about 17% body fat. Since I started training with weights in 2017, the changes on me are very visible and quite impressive. People around me give lots of compliments and "each time I see you you look younger" sort of comments. However when they see the sort of exercise I do to get these results, they disapprove :).

They also liked it when I lost 14 kg in 2011. But disapproved when they heard it involved eating tons of red meat and saturated fats. And I don't need to know what they would think if they knew about my rotations.

Oh well. Controversial stuff is what I do.
 
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ray_zorse

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Ah dude, reading about the Miss K scenario, well it takes me back a bit. To before I knew anything about seduction. But had managed a fairly good 2nd date lay (amazingly) and she became my girlfriend. We did indeed move in together for some brief periods, very good memories there. But as she was Japan based and I was sort of half and half it was not too easy. Exactly as you described, you had made about 6 trips over there in the space of a year or so and she had within her powers reciprocated. And quite some energy went into maintaining it. In my case she did indeed meet my kids. But, I fucked it up. Reason (1) fall off in investment and compliance at 1 to 1.5yr mark (2) neediness on my part, I guess there is a fine line between asking for compliance and being needy. I crossed it. This is the vibe I get slightly from your description. You were pissed off at the derailing of the important step of meeting your kids / integrating into your "real" life. You might have tipped your hand slightly and forgotten to "game" it. Well, no matter. I do not really bother to "game" Leticia these days. At some point you need to let your guard down. Or what is the end game really? You put it very well above.

The flat in Cebu and the retirement PR visa sounds totally awesome! I really like your forward planning and how you have been able to convert what you described as 2x or 3x the salary you would earn in France, into something of lasting value. Very inspiring.

Much as I would also love to hang up my hat (and we are of similar age) I started in the economic game a lot later and have made different choices so will have to slog it out for a bit, ahh it's all good though. My longer term plan is a bit like yours but involves the Cayman Islands, well TBH I go more for the Asian than African or Islander dimension but I am open minded, my earliest lays or seduction attempts (as a young buck without any game) were in Papua New Guinea and various Carribean Islands with some smoking hot locals so I think I could go back to that, now with added game :) :)

For your part Phillippines sounds sensible, I assume you have studied the tax laws quite carefully? While I could retire to some other place and keep my $$ in Caymans I kind of like the idea of keeping it simple so that I can watch over my investments and step in should problems arise such as banks or consultants trying to appropriate said $$. So with no tax in Caymans and reasonable local schools for children of my 2nd marriage I think it could work. Have to plan ahead tho. One thing that worries me is if they turn out to have a large regulatory infrastructure wrt things like medical, car license or registration, local laws or council rates, parking fines, water or sewage costs and such. In Australia it is just unbearable, also France judging by Gilets Jaunes protest. I tried to live the simple life with occasional income and spend more time with kids but it was impossible with the bureaucratic monster vacuuming cash from my wallet at a horrific rate. Let us hope the Government in Phillippines or Caymans is not so sophisticated in its pursuit of the same goal.

All the best brother,
Ray
 

Seppuku

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Welcome back Ray!
You were pissed off at the derailing of the important step of meeting your kids / integrating into your "real" life. You might have tipped your hand slightly and forgotten to "game" it.
There was no time to "game". I needed to know just right now that she was coming, because tomorrow I will be away and it will be too late to arrange her trip.

No, its more that I felt it is better that I face the issue now, rather than 12 months down the road when we are settled down together. My bargaining power, then, will be much less, as I am sure you realize. If you know that it is not going to fly, much better to walk away now, than later. I am saving myself from complications that I do not want to have in my life, no matter how nice the girl is otherwise.
 

Seppuku

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The Coronavirus episode

It's been more than ages that I didn't post anything here, so time for an update.

More Qatar

In my last post, I was writing that 2020 would be the year I leave Qatar for a new life. And indeed, by early March, my resignation letter was ready to be printed and sent. A couple of week more, and by end of March latest I would have given it to my boss.

Then the Coronavirus crisis happened, and with it the stock market had the most violent reaction ever witnessed by any living man.

And suddenly, I wasn't so sure about my decision. Much better to wait and get a safe salary until the world recovers. If I'm going to leave my job, better do it when things are stable again.

It is at about the same time, that the "new organizational structure" that was being masterminded within my company for 18 months, eventually was announced and official. In this new organization, I happen to be in a completely different team, and by the circumstances I have a serious shot at getting an "Acting Director" (senior leadership) role.

Well then! I never printed this resignation letter, and it seems after all that I will stay a little longer in the boat. After all, I have a nice and comfortable life here and I'm well paid... So I am still in Qatar for some more time.

Life in Qatar under the Coronavirus

The government here was very reactive and started the isolation measures as early as March 9th by first closing the schools, then soon the gyms, the restaurants, bars, then later the shops in malls, the parks, then prohibiting public and private gatherings. Within two weeks, there was just no place to go other than your own home and the grocery store, and you couldn't invite friends at home. There were police patrols after 5pm arresting the cars and asking questions, and asking people to return to their home.

All of a sudden, life became so dull.

At my office, the overall directive is, non essential people work from home (we have access to work environment via intranet). For those still required to go to office (including me), there is an alternate day scheme to make sure that no two people occupy the same office room on the same day. That was actually welcome, because it gave me a chance to see some other human beings (colleagues from other rooms). Just to remind the reader, I am in Qatar on my own, my children, family and girlfriend are all out of the country, and since we can't invite friends (and FWB) at home, the office is my only chance at seeing other human beings in real.

Right now, Qatar has undertaken to systematically trace and test all contacts of every infected person. As a result, our number of cases has gone through the roof, and there is no end in sight. With about 34000 cases, we are number 21 on the hit parade, and this is 1.2% of the 2.8M population. Well, in reality, in the Western Europe countries there is some evidence that up to 10 or 15% of the population has already been infected, a much bigger number than the official number of cases. But even assuming that we are only 5% infected, that would still be about 100000 cases more. If we are going to try to find them all, it's going to take a few more months!

No gym

That was the most disappointing measure. I was getting a serious liking to my three sessions of weightlifting a week. And since the beginning of the year I was slowly ramping up my weights towards new PRs again:

Deadlift: a heavy 152.5 kg for three reps
Squats: did 5 reps at 127.5 kg
Bench Press: 4 reps at 75 kg (the fifth rep is not far)

That will have to wait, now.

In April, however, I slowly started to make an improvised home gym, using a metallic bar I found in the nearby construction work areas, and heavy sacks of rice. I am able now to resume the heavy lifting with my setup. However it is not as safe as a normal barbell (the bags swings...) so I am not going as heavy as I used to. Well, better than nothing.

No dating

The dating apps are suddenly becoming very active! All these girls stuck at home and bored... And I got a few new contacts. I would also have some old FWB that I could reconnect with.

But with the police patrols out checking people, it looks very risky to attempt.

So, no dating for now.

My curious back-of-the-throat thing

Around mid march, I started feeling some curious "busy throat" thing, like the very onset of a common cold.. Except that it didn't evolve into a fully blown runny nose, or a real throat ache, or a cough. It just stayed in the background. A couple of times, I wondered if I had fever. Each time I measured, I was fine though. It lasted overall about one month, then was gone.

Very strange. I'm wondering if this could have been one of these barely symptomatic cases?

Anyway, today I am feeling completely normal, thankfully.

The girlfriend situation

Our relationship resumed after the "problem" I described in my last post. I went as far as blocking her on social media and whatsapp, for nearly 3 weeks. She came back by the small door (the email). She explained her behavior, and her explanation was actually justified. We resumed the relationship, and I saw her end of January for a few days. I was due to visit her again end of March, however by then the airports were already shut... No luck.

So far it is going good, but there is still no visibility as to when we might be able to meet again. I am starting to think it could be after summer, if we're lucky. I have the feeling that the summer vacations are going to be stuck inside Qatar.

So as for our relationship, it is hard to tell how long we will be able to maintain it, without seeing each other.

Well, wait and see!

What I know for sure is, when restrictions are lifted, I am willing to put anything with boobs in my bed.
 

ray_zorse

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Same here, I was planning for some time to write an update, although there wasn't a lot newsworthy in these trying times. I was happy to read your update. And I was concerned I could have given offence with my previous advice but rereading it it looks innocent. Anyway. I will put my update here :)

Luckily, in Australia we have "lockdown lite", although it has not been presented that way -- according to the powers that be, it is deadly serious of course. But they're quite reluctant to go the US route of full lockdowns and 100% destroy the economy. So what they have done is ban us from leaving home and seeing friends and family, but allowed commerce to continue as before -- except for so called "inessential businesses" which is to say, restaurants and gyms, but I think they only singled them out to make an example of them, since you can still go to the HiFi shop for example.

Therefore, we have here in Australia fully stocked stores and such, and that's a very good thing. I did a certain amount of "prepping", or some would say panic buying, in the first months. We didn't have much money at that time but I bought large amounts of meat and canned and dry goods and long life milk and such. Also, large amounts of perishables which I regularly replenished. It was kind of satisfying. I have been reading prepper websites for some time and wanted to try it out. But sad to say the stockpiles are waning, and I haven't really seen the need to replenish recently.

There is however an ugly side to the lockdowns and you can see that in this clip: https://7news.com.au/travel/coronav...s-as-coronavirus-protest-turns-ugly-c-1028418 (at 2:18 see a large number of cops wrestling one protester to the ground while a female cop in the foreground holds a can of pepper spray)... I was planning to join this protest or at least check it out, but shamefully decided not to make a target of myself and instead took the family for an "illegal" Mother's day visit... anyway, these reports have been memory holed. They didn't happen.

In terms of my personal life basically a perfect storm hit me late last year where several clients to whom I had committed to work on their projects needed them finished "yesterday"... as well there being a huge project in my day job which I am more or less leading the team on. In my day job I hit rock bottom several times this year where I decided I HATE HATE HATE my boss (or more correctly my boss's boss, my direct boss is OK) and basically I hate being a corporate drone. Like you, I had my finger on the quit button many times. Like you, I was hesitant to quit at this exact time. Anyway, I am building some cool prototypes (staying up late) and I have a 5% stake in one of the ventures, with investors and customers set to come on board. Hope that I can quit being a corporate drone soon. I would be the CTO of the new venture after we can secure sufficient funding.

Congratulations on being in the running for the Assistant Director role. I wish that I could say the same for myself, but unfortunately I just love being an engineer and have let the office politics slide a little bit. I seem to have a bit of a problem maintaining appearances, so for example if someone schedules a meeting I will receive an email notification, but since I only check those things a couple of times a week at most, usually I won't know about it so I won't join. If I really wanted to be on promotion track I would do less engineering and more promoting (attending meetings and such).

I think in a future job I will try to pay more attention to that side of things. But in my current role I really do not care and would probably turn down any promotion were it offered to me. Because basically the company is a load of crap and I want nothing to do with those incompetent managers. On the plus side, since I do not care (and have some backup since multiple private clients desperately want me to make their projects successful), there were some funny scenes. I quite regularly told my boss he was wrong and why. In a recent company survey I really did not hold back at all. :)

The divorce continues to grind through the Courts. I was very happy with my lawyers until quite recently, but one problem that happened was they were slow to finalize the papers after terms had been agreed with my ex-wife, and in the meantime the share market crashed. Since my nasty ex-wife had insisted she take all the good assets (property) and I take all the questionable assets (shares, etc) it would have been very much to my disadvantage to proceed with the agreement. So I instructed them to renegotiate, and they've totally failed at this. It's so frustrating. I really hate it.

Anyhow. My wife Leticia has finished her course and so we will have to apply for her proper visa within the next month or so. The papers are all ready but it is waiting for me to fill in some forms and such. Everything seems to be waiting for me to do something :( Leticia continues to be a really strong support and I must say that this is not really what I expected since I wasn't as much the strong male in the last few years. I do still have the GC principles quite ingrained, but I didn't act on them all the time. If she tested me hard I would do so. But she doesn't. We are on the same page.

We will have another baby soon. It's a bit confronting as it is hard to keep up already. I decided to rent a larger place even though we should ideally wait for the settlement and then buy something appropriate. My older kids (from ex-wife) are studying remotely and I must say that I was not a very good parent. I let them play too many video games and I don't have time to be present much as a father since I am furiously busy with work and the outside clients. They seem to have little task focus and I wish that I could homeschool them properly. Anyway, I will update more about it later on.

The younger boys actually are a dream at the moment. They are so cute and discovering everything. I read to them for an hour or so each day and take an active role in caring for them (even though I am quite busy as I mentioned). My 3-year old turned 4 the other day. He asks me every day things like "Daddy, tell me about the germs" or "Daddy, tell me about the lions" and so on. I have made up a set of stories for him to teach him about nature. For example, germs go into a person's body and then find a big machine that makes new skin, so they change it to make more germs, etc. At the end of this story the germs have multiplied and then they are put under arrest by police (antibodies). He loves that part. You're under arrest!

All the best! Hope for something with boobs soon :) :)
cheers, Ray
 

YS.

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
179
Same here, I was planning for some time to write an update, although there wasn't a lot newsworthy in these trying times. I was happy to read your update. And I was concerned I could have given offence with my previous advice but rereading it it looks innocent. Anyway. I will put my update here :)

Luckily, in Australia we have "lockdown lite", although it has not been presented that way -- according to the powers that be, it is deadly serious of course. But they're quite reluctant to go the US route of full lockdowns and 100% destroy the economy. So what they have done is ban us from leaving home and seeing friends and family, but allowed commerce to continue as before -- except for so called "inessential businesses" which is to say, restaurants and gyms, but I think they only singled them out to make an example of them, since you can still go to the HiFi shop for example.

Therefore, we have here in Australia fully stocked stores and such, and that's a very good thing. I did a certain amount of "prepping", or some would say panic buying, in the first months. We didn't have much money at that time but I bought large amounts of meat and canned and dry goods and long life milk and such. Also, large amounts of perishables which I regularly replenished. It was kind of satisfying. I have been reading prepper websites for some time and wanted to try it out. But sad to say the stockpiles are waning, and I haven't really seen the need to replenish recently.

There is however an ugly side to the lockdowns and you can see that in this clip: https://7news.com.au/travel/coronav...s-as-coronavirus-protest-turns-ugly-c-1028418 (at 2:18 see a large number of cops wrestling one protester to the ground while a female cop in the foreground holds a can of pepper spray)... I was planning to join this protest or at least check it out, but shamefully decided not to make a target of myself and instead took the family for an "illegal" Mother's day visit... anyway, these reports have been memory holed. They didn't happen.

In terms of my personal life basically a perfect storm hit me late last year where several clients to whom I had committed to work on their projects needed them finished "yesterday"... as well there being a huge project in my day job which I am more or less leading the team on. In my day job I hit rock bottom several times this year where I decided I HATE HATE HATE my boss (or more correctly my boss's boss, my direct boss is OK) and basically I hate being a corporate drone. Like you, I had my finger on the quit button many times. Like you, I was hesitant to quit at this exact time. Anyway, I am building some cool prototypes (staying up late) and I have a 5% stake in one of the ventures, with investors and customers set to come on board. Hope that I can quit being a corporate drone soon. I would be the CTO of the new venture after we can secure sufficient funding.

Congratulations on being in the running for the Assistant Director role. I wish that I could say the same for myself, but unfortunately I just love being an engineer and have let the office politics slide a little bit. I seem to have a bit of a problem maintaining appearances, so for example if someone schedules a meeting I will receive an email notification, but since I only check those things a couple of times a week at most, usually I won't know about it so I won't join. If I really wanted to be on promotion track I would do less engineering and more promoting (attending meetings and such).

I think in a future job I will try to pay more attention to that side of things. But in my current role I really do not care and would probably turn down any promotion were it offered to me. Because basically the company is a load of crap and I want nothing to do with those incompetent managers. On the plus side, since I do not care (and have some backup since multiple private clients desperately want me to make their projects successful), there were some funny scenes. I quite regularly told my boss he was wrong and why. In a recent company survey I really did not hold back at all. :)

The divorce continues to grind through the Courts. I was very happy with my lawyers until quite recently, but one problem that happened was they were slow to finalize the papers after terms had been agreed with my ex-wife, and in the meantime the share market crashed. Since my nasty ex-wife had insisted she take all the good assets (property) and I take all the questionable assets (shares, etc) it would have been very much to my disadvantage to proceed with the agreement. So I instructed them to renegotiate, and they've totally failed at this. It's so frustrating. I really hate it.

Anyhow. My wife Leticia has finished her course and so we will have to apply for her proper visa within the next month or so. The papers are all ready but it is waiting for me to fill in some forms and such. Everything seems to be waiting for me to do something :( Leticia continues to be a really strong support and I must say that this is not really what I expected since I wasn't as much the strong male in the last few years. I do still have the GC principles quite ingrained, but I didn't act on them all the time. If she tested me hard I would do so. But she doesn't. We are on the same page.

We will have another baby soon. It's a bit confronting as it is hard to keep up already. I decided to rent a larger place even though we should ideally wait for the settlement and then buy something appropriate. My older kids (from ex-wife) are studying remotely and I must say that I was not a very good parent. I let them play too many video games and I don't have time to be present much as a father since I am furiously busy with work and the outside clients. They seem to have little task focus and I wish that I could homeschool them properly. Anyway, I will update more about it later on.

The younger boys actually are a dream at the moment. They are so cute and discovering everything. I read to them for an hour or so each day and take an active role in caring for them (even though I am quite busy as I mentioned). My 3-year old turned 4 the other day. He asks me every day things like "Daddy, tell me about the germs" or "Daddy, tell me about the lions" and so on. I have made up a set of stories for him to teach him about nature. For example, germs go into a person's body and then find a big machine that makes new skin, so they change it to make more germs, etc. At the end of this story the germs have multiplied and then they are put under arrest by police (antibodies). He loves that part. You're under arrest!

All the best! Hope for something with boobs soon :) :)
cheers, Ray

Goddamn Ray, that post was a fucking rollercoaster. Marriage scares the fuck out of me. Well... Divorce does but they go together, don't they? Hope you're doing well bro!

Some humble investing related advice:
It sucks the split of resources would be unfavorable to you atm but the stock market will undoubtably go back to normal. You can really finesse something here though. Try to negotiate a deal with 50-50 value today, with most of the shares on your end. In a few years the split will be 30-70 / 20-80 in your favor as the shares stabilize.
I don't know anything about divorce law in Aus so it's just a thought but I don't think most people understand the markets and would just go along with it.

Again, best of luck in your life Ray!
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Ray,

good to hear from you!

And I was concerned I could have given offence with my previous advice but rereading it it looks innocent.
Absolutely no offence taken, nothing to worry here :).

I think in a future job I will try to pay more attention to that side of things.
I wish that I could say the same for myself, but unfortunately I just love being an engineer and have let the office politics slide a little bit.
I am not naturally inclined towards politics, and more someone who likes to do his job on his won. But I have also learned that if you are the only one not playing politics when everyone else (and your colleagues) do, you pay the price eventually. Sad to say, but there is no way around it if you plan to stick in the same company for some time.

Congratulations on being in the running for the Assistant Director role
Thank you. What happens is, I end up in a team where the manager (Director) is not liked by higher spheres. The guy above him on the hierarchy is someone that I have been working closely with since 2011, and we have learned to appreciate and respect each other. I know he doesn't like this Director, and he has already hinted in private to me at firing him. Whether it happens or not remains to be seen, but if it does I would be right in line to fill the gap. In our company, you usually start by becoming "Acting" Director for some time before you're confirmed. In the next weeks I should know better how likely it is.

We will have another baby soon.
That is awesome news!

They seem to have little task focus and I wish that I could homeschool them properly.
I know the feeling of guilt. You just can't be everywhere. You have a first duty of securing revenues. In the end, parents are just doing the best they can. At some point, the kids need to understand it's about what they want to do with their lives.

I agree with YS that the markets will recover sooner rather than later. In this market the best protection is your diversification. If you were holding broad market fuly diversified ETFs, you should be good. If you were concentrated in some specific single name stocks, then you are taking some "specific risk" and could possibly incur some permanent losses.

Looking forward to read your update!

Seppuku
 
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