Haraklus

I've looked over the pickings here, and I'm going to roll my intro, newbie assignment, and ongoing journal all into one, I think.

Introduction:

Hello, dear reader, I am Haraklus. I'm a 26-year-old who has always considered himself at least somewhat okay with women. Mostly, they notice me, and I occasionally make a bold move and get together with one. I fumble a lot more often than not, I think, and it's something that I want to get down pat. I like the vibe of this place compared to other explicitly "PUA" sites -- I think I would prefer to grow into the title of "seducer" over "pickup artist".

I've been lurking here for awhile, reading for some time, and I've decided to come out of the woodwork and try to really step up my game.

Experience with women:

• A total of 7 sexual partners.
• 2 LTRs (LONG term relationships, 4+ years each)
• 1 Threesome with a sort-of LTR and her friend

Fastest lay was after 3 dates, although it was actually me that turned sex down on the 1st date.

Fastest almost-lay was the day after I met a girl, I invited her to get icecream, we went to my place afterwards and I fingered her and she gave me a blowjob. Turns out she was a virgin and hadn't done any of that with a guy before, so I didn't feel awful. We parted ways before she "gave it up", although the last time we spoke she said she was ready to.

My fundamentals:

• 6'2"
• Around 15% bodyfat at present
• 2ish months into a very intensive lifting program. I'm stronger than 90% of the men I meet, easily.
• Good hairstyle
• Good facial hair
• Decent style -- sort of a hipster-business casual hybrid involving witty or brazen graphic tees hidden under blazers
• Nearly perfectly clear skin, nearly perfect teeth. Working on both, should actually be done within the month.

Regarding sexy vibe, posture, and so on...those are harder to pin down. I think I do have the stuff, but it's a lot less consistent. Definitely something I need to look into.

My goals:

• Learn to meet women without social context.
• Move faster -- same night lays / first date sex should be the norm rather than the exception.
• Create a sexy, warm, alluring vibe that draws women in.
• Become more bold and risk-taking.
• Sweat some blood and shed some tears.
• Have some fun.

I suck at the newbie assignment, but here's this:

A few days ago, I met a girl at a pub -- there was a board game night, and I asked her if she was looking for a game. She said she wasn't, but that she was looking for an extra player in her game. So, I joined her.

I sat with her and her friend, then, and we played a couple of games. Towards the beginning, after taking our orders, the waitress hugged me, as I hadn't seen her in awhile. The girl had already been pretty warm towards me, but this seemed to really set her off.

Her: "You're a bit of a lady's man, aren't you?"
Me, after a brief pause and the beginning of a smile: "She and I go way back."
Her: "So you're saying you've tapped that."
Me: "I'm not saying anything. You're leaping to conclusions."

Later in the night, we went to different table with better lighting. I sat down next to her, and she said,
"Yay! You sat down next to me! Why did you sit down next to me?" (aww, girls, they're so cute, with their massive need for affirmation...)

Me: "I might be sweet on you."
Her: "Are you sure it's not the alcohol?"
Me: "I don't know if I'm sure, but the alcohol sure is."

Her friend got there and the conversation went back to the game. She eventually said she wanted to play deer hunter with me, paid for the game, and we started shooting some deer. She kicked my ass...apparently she's a pro at the game. After the game, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close.

Her: "Are you putting the moves on me?"
Me: "Just one."
Her: "Which one is that?"
Me: "Just this one."
Her: "Even when you're drunk, you're awful at this!"
Me: "Being drunk makes you awful at things!"
Her: "Do you want my number?"
I was kind of floored, because this was...pretty fucking foward, but I don't think it showed.
Me: "Hmm...that depends. Are you going to be one of those super dodgy, flaky people who never wants to hang out?"
(This is the funny part)
Her: "I don't know about hang out, but we could, y'know, shag." (CAVEAT: I heard "chat", not "shag")
Me: "Mmm, I'll pass, then."
Her: "Oh...okay. Well, I have to go then."
Me: "Wait. Come dancing with me, I know a place that isn't far away."
Her: "I don't know, my friend is here...maybe."
Me: "Do you have your phone with you?"
Her: "I do."
Me: "Does your friend have a phone with him?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Then you're set."
I took her by the hands and started pulling her lightly towards the door.
Her: "Wait! I have to find my friend...I'm his ride home, I can't leave him."
Me: "Invite him along. It's just a few blocks away. You can text him or give him a call, you don't have to track him down."
Her: "Maybe he's at the bar next door..."
Me: "We'll check there, then."

We walked outside and to the other bar, didn't find her friend.

Me: "Okay, well...he can find you. Let's go dancing."
Her: "I really should find him..."
Me: "Okay, I'll tell you what...let's have one more look at the other bar, and if he's not there, call him, so that you can go dancing."
Her: "Okay."

We went back, and she found her friend and said she was going to go dancing. I talked with him about the location, he said he knew it, and he'd catch up with us later.

We made our way over, conversing, and it got interesting:
Her: "You're like Mr. Mixed Signals. You sit next to me and say you're sweet on me, then you don't want my number."
Me: "I'm moving soon."
Her: "See! So why would you just want to hang out? I figured you'd be down for something short term...That's why I offered to shag."
Me: *laughing* "I thought you said chat...okay. Hold on, here's my phone, put yourself in there."
Her: *complying* "This all makes so much more sense now!"

We danced, was seen in public with her, got some dancing in, some of my more...umm...thirsty friends commented on the hand placement, etc.

She left after the place closed in an hour. The next day we planned to meet up on Sunday, which was yesterday as I write this. She sent me a text thanking me for pulling her out of her comfort zone and getting her dancing.

This is getting long, so I'll cut a lot out. I made dinner, she came over, we ate a tiny bit and then started hooking up...but she kept saying things that made me laugh hysterically. We ended up really drawing the process out.

We finally got down to it, she was giving me head, and looked up.
Her: "We have a problem."
Me: "Yea, we do."
Her: "...How did you already know?!"
Me: "I'm just being agreeable. What's up, miss?"
Her: "I'm latex-free...and I didn't realize you were going to be, like, as wide as a coke bottle, so I didn't bring the big condoms..."
Me: "Oh, tragedy."
Her: "So...sex fail."
Me: "Man, I haven't had a sex fail since I was married!"
Her: "You're not supposed to say that!"

And laughter ensued. We hung out a bit longer, talked, and I sent her on her way. We may or may not meet up again, we'll see. I actually found that she was only "kinda cute" when I wasn't intoxicated as fuck, but she was also REALLY funny, so...we'll see how that goes.

This is my first FRish thing. I'm also going to post it in my journal. Feedback on any step of the process is welcome. This was easily the most forward woman I've met in awhile...I was actually continually thrown off by how forward she was, it was kind of weird.

I previously wouldn't have been as persistent as I was that night, but it seems to work really well, actually. That was probably the first major lesson I've picked up from Girls Chase, and I liked the results.


Annnd some updated stats, because I like keeping score and I've gotten some action:
Lay count:
* 8 (increased by one via hooking up with a friend)
Not quite lay count:
* 2 (oral sex with one girl who was a virgin and didn't want to escalate, and then this girl)

It's been a lacklustre couple of months. I essentially stopped going after new women for awhile...because I hooked up with a friend and had the most sexually compatible relationship of my life, and that really kept me docile. She moved to NY about a month ago. A week after that, I had a new girl (only kinda cute) in my bed, and she just wasn't doing it for me. I sent her home disappointed and horny.

I'm more motivated to meet amazing women than ever before. I'm also a hell of a lot more confident. A couple of weeks ago, a girl approached me to give me "fashion advice", which consisted of unbuttoning my jacket and doing something more "fun" with my hair. Which was immediately followed up with, "This is totally optional, though, I mean...Your glasses, your blazer, your whole style has this 'edgy but relaxed' vibe to it. You've already got it going on."

And a few other comments from passerbys about how cute I am, etc.

A long time ago, I basically made the decision that bars and such were off-limits for meeting women, now I'm recanting on that one. Nothing is off limits. I'm down to meet folks wherever, and artificial constraints just limit my options. I want success in general, not success within particular constraints. I'll worry about that stuff later.

So, where I am now is at the stage of building a seduction process.

Before worrying about anything else, I'm going to invest a lot of thought into flow rate as per the somewhat recent article.

My goal throughput is 50-100 new, attractive women each week for at least a few months. I want to get a ton of approaches under my belt.

My current best venue is a place that brings in 5-15 attractive new women a week who are very receptive. I'm not sure if it qualifies as 'cold approach', as there is social context to work with...but not much of one, and it's generally not a 'friend of a friend' situation. That said, it's something I love doing, and there are great women there...so that's definitely on the list.

That's a minimum of 5 out of my desired 50.

Shit.

The reality is, I am just going to have to get out and experiment with meeting new people everywhere -- the elevator, the grocery store, everywhere I go for the next few months. There aren't that many easy pickings out there.

Here goes nothin'.

Did a cold approach today. Got a number, at her continual suggestion. I think a sticking point was being too platonic and not deep diving enough. Good point was that I made a move, opened direct, and moved her fairly quickly.

Haraklus said:

Did a cold approach today. Got a number, at her continual suggestion. I think a sticking point was being too platonic and not deep diving enough. Good point was that I made a move, opened direct, and moved her fairly quickly.

Click to expand...

Hey man been reading your journal, good stuff. Tell me about this approach you did like word for word lol

It's in the FR I posted early last week. You've already commented on it.

Bit of an update: Haven't been approaching due to a cold, but girl has proactively kept touch over text. She got the job she was interviewing for (go her!) and is headed in to town in a few weeks. At first I thought she was a tiny bit weird because of the way she was texting, but I'm now realizing she's just acting like a heady schoolgirl, and it's kind of adorable. She's made me laugh quite a few times and seems pretty invested in getting/keeping my attention. For NOW. It's 3 weeks til she gets here. This is basically written off in my head due to the time delay. Can't wait to get out and approaching again. I think I'll be good to go by tomorrow.

After getting sick, then having 3 temporary veneers break whilst waiting for replacementa, I'm back I'm the game. Result? Well, bookstore girl gets in to town next Monday, and we're getting a drink on Thursday. And last night I met a cute college girl from the nearby campus and we're getting a drink this weekend. Not a ton of time to do a full FR right now, but it went pretty smooth.

Last night was a bit eventful, and I'll piece together what I remember. For context, I went out dancing with some friends and met a BUNCH of people of all kinds, including a few beautiful women. I felt good energy with 2 of them, so I made a move on the two of them at the end of the night.

The first young woman was new to town (had been there about a month), had just moved from a small town, and was really looking forward to a big city social life. We connected on having similar existential crises earlier in our lives, living in tiny towns in our teenage years, and our mutual love of biology. The move/approach, after a dance:

Me: "Hey...want to get a drink some time?"
Her: "Oh... I don't drink."
Me, grinning: "Tea, then. Actually, hot chocolate. I want to get hot chocolate with you."
Her: "Sure!"
Me: "How does your schedule look this week?"
Her: "I'm not totally sure, I have a lot of interviews."
Me: "How about we swap numbers and then figure it out later?"
Her: "Okay!"

Number swapping commenced. We parted ways. I texted her this morning, she texted me back about an hour later (seemed pretty warm), and I'll see about getting firm plans once I'm done moving my stuff into a new apartment.

Easy as pie.

Number two was a somewhat younger girl (20, too young to drink) that was pretty smart and quite funny. I'd actually met her once before, but wasn't too interested in her then. Her vibe this time was way different, and I liked it, so I gave it a shot.

This one has a special surprise at the end of the less than fun variety. But the rest of it was pretty cool.

As I approached, she was talking with a friend of mine -- not particularly animatedly or anything, just talking.
Me, holding my hands out palms up to her: "I know I'm interrupting, but I'm about to leave...and I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee with me some time."
Her, putting her hands into mine, looking taken aback: "I can't, I--"
Me: "Alright. Like I said, I was going, and I'm in a bit of a hurry, so..."
Her: Something indistinct and animated
Me: "Wait, what?"
Her: "Your timing is funny, I was just having a conversation where we were talking about how hard it is to work up the balls to ask someone out, and you just walked up and did it...I really loved seeing it unfold in realtime like that."
At this point, she pulled me in and insisted on giving me a hug.
Me: "Yeah...I don't typically have a problem with it. I'm curious now, though -- you started to say 'you can't' -- why is that?"
Her: "I'm pursuing someone. Big time. But he's really shy and I'm really shy and neither of us have the balls to make a move."
Me: "Hahaha...hey, wait...is it that MyFriend?"
Her: "No...who? Oh, YourFriend...no, it's no one here."
Me: "Gotcha, okay. Just curious."
Me: "Hmm...I wish words could help. I love helping people get together, but I don't think there's anything I do. Sad times. But I've got to get going now! Good luck."

So, that was...pretty weird. But okay, I suppose, for a bomb out. In retrospect, I could probably have done a part shot, as Chase called it, gotten my number in her phone, and had a good chance of hearing from her in the coming weeks. Something to try to remember for next time.

Now, here's the less awesome part.

On my way out, I bump into the guy (my friend and MyFriend) who was talking to her. He's normally very friendly and eager to engage me in conversation. He was...not, this time. He seemed in a hurry to get out. I strolled behind him at my usual pace, made a friendly quip about something or other, and noticed him start to walk even faster.

As we got out the door, I told him,
Me: "MyFriend, can I ask you something? Did that just piss you off?"
Him: "Yeah, you pissed me off! You pissed me off so bad I wanted to kick your ass!"
Me, incredulous: "Really?!"
At this point, we parted ways...I got around the corner and started laughing to myself after the initial shock wore off.

Well, so much for friendship, eh? This is probably the 1000th guy who has decided he hated me because he didn't have the balls to make a move, or women were more interested in me than him. Ugh. I hate men sometimes. They're so damned jealous.

Hey Haraklus,

Good stuff, interesting to see what you're working on.

With regard to this:

Haraklus said:

Her: "Your timing is funny, I was just having a conversation where we were talking about how hard it is to work up the balls to ask someone out, and you just walked up and did it...I really loved seeing it unfold in realtime like that."
At this point, she pulled me in and insisted on giving me a hug.
Me: "Yeah...I don't typically have a problem with it. I'm curious now, though -- you started to say 'you can't' -- why is that?"
Her: "I'm pursuing someone. Big time. But he's really shy and I'm really shy and neither of us have the balls to make a move."

Click to expand...

Haraklus said:

In retrospect, I could probably have done a part shot, as Chase called it, gotten my number in her phone, and had a good chance of hearing from her in the coming weeks. Something to try to remember for next time.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I think you could have too. I really think so.

Here's an article an another site I read recently: What To Do When You’re A Girl’s Second Choice. It's a response to mailed-in requests; I very much liked the remark the first commenter made: "good luck. Let me know when you’re ready to party with a real man". Apparently it worked, too.

Haraklus said:

Him: "Yeah, you pissed me off! You pissed me off so bad I wanted to kick your ass!"
Me, incredulous: "Really?!"

Click to expand...

Disgraceful. I just wanted to express my support for you, Haraklus, as I know it can sometimes feel bad if someone is nasty to you in person and there's no one to tell you were right. Not that you need it

Note that it didn't annoy him enough to actually make him take action. Just... be "above" all that!

-Marty

Thanks for the show of support, Marty. That guy was a new friend, but had been shaping up to be a decent one. It's so hard to find people who are self improvement oriented and excellent on many fronts, sadly.

Regarding the CH article, I didn't really notice much real advice. Move quickly, be confident, be bold, etc. All stuff you should do anyway. Lots of the over the top cocky "toxic alpha" mindset and attitude to go around, though.

And to top it off, a brief FR from yesterday.

I was in the elevator in my building, and a cute young woman who had just recently moved in entered. She smelled like pot. So...
Me: "Hey...are you high right now?"
Her: "Yes. It's REALLY good, too. And I just woke up."
Me, laughing: "Damn, what a way to start a Saturday! Well, enjoy that!"

Later, I bumped into her again...this time, I was leaving the elevator as she was entering. We made eye contact, she smiled playfully.

Me: "Hey, this it's out of the blue, but...you're really cute...would you like to get a drink some time?"
Her: "You're really cute! But I don't think my husband would appreciate it, and we live in the same building, so...I don't see that working."
Me, laughing: "No worries!"
Her: "Thank you for the compliment!"
Me, turning away: "Sure, no problem. Take care!"

Ran into her again later and bantered a bit more. No other big time flirtiness for the day.

Well...

Some phone drama ensued earlier this week. I started off with dates scheduled for Tuesday and Thursday.

Tuesday cancelled on the day of (it was tentative to begin with, though). Wanted to reschedule for Wednesday or Thursday, but I was booked both days.

Thursday cancelled on Wednesday. Told Thursday it was fine, I totally understood, etc. She seemed appreciative -- she was starting to cool off a bit, but my nonchalance and encouragement seemed to turn her around. Woo, attainability and aloofness! She made a solid nerdy reference, despite being a stunner. Made me laugh. Awesome.

Then I got in touch with Tuesday and she became the new Thursday.

Old Thursday calls Thursday morning and says she wants to be Thursday again. I tell her I made other plans the night we called ours off. I tell Old Thursday we can meet in the next few days, though. She's amenable and suggests Saturday evening. This is perfect for me and I tell her so.

So, I walked in with a Tuesday and a Thursday. I came out with a Thursday and a Saturday. Given that the average market return is something like 8% per annum, barely any lost value in the total 4 days of deferment. Not too shabby, I came out on my feet.

And now I've got a date with a cute college senior in an hour and a half. Good times.

Well, that went pretty well. She was interesting and interested. We got some smooching in at a bar near my place...and then the last bus to her side of town was leaving (I really need to watch the clock) and I was NOT interested in having someone over at my place in the AM today before work.

It was on my way, so I walked her to her bus stop. She seemed really appreciative about this -- she also seemed to feel that the streets were kind of unsafe for her alone at night, and she totes a big knife and pepper spray just in case.

After she got home, she texted me this:
Her: "I got home safe! Thanks for celebrating with me! ;D"
Me: "Sleep good miss"
Her: "You too! Also demand a pina colada and backrub from your expensive ass apartment building!"
Me: "I'm going to demand a backrub from you."
Her: "I better get something in return."
Me: "Oh, we can work something out."

I'm thinking next date is straight to my place. I really need to get used to being more physically forward on the first date. I was for a bit right after my first breakup...but since then I've been pretty tame. I don't kick it into high gear until 2nd or 3rd date, as a rule. Push harder, Haraklus, you really did have this one in the bag.

Good news, Haraklus!

I read your update last night, about the time you were supposedly in there, and was thinking of you. So glad it went well

Well, today has been less eventful as I'm.exhausted, but...I did spot an opportunity for chase framing in my texts with the woman I met at the bookstore.

She asked me if I wanted to join her for my city's naked bike ride after our date tomorrow...which was sadly logistically impossible. I threw in, "But great job on trying to get me naked! A for effort!"
Her reponse was, "Haha, oh gosh. Not quite that direction, but whatever floats your boat."

She presents herself as a very proper young lady -- the type I tend to clean up with. Chase frames aren't normally my style. I'm generally bold and direct in MY interest and tell women they can take it or leave it. I tend to not even mention their apparent interest in me. I would like to add them to my repertoire.

That said, I doubt it hurt. She kept talking to me despite being demure. We'll see by this time tomorrow, eh?

Oh, God...what a weird and tiring night.

Went on a date with that girl I met from the bookstore.

It was honestly one of the worst dates I've ever been on. Not anything like the horror stories I've heard from others, but whatever chemistry I felt before was totally gone, and she was extremely guarded. I eventually got her talking and open, and she's super sexually reserved (like...in principal won't have sex with someone until they've been together for 1.5 years) and just...very strange. The original feminine/upbeat vibe I got off of her was really not her normal self, she was elated because she had just gotten a job. We talked, and it was interesting, but we cut it short. I definitely do not have the seductive skill to overcome the massive set of limiting beliefs I encountered yesterday afternoon.

So, I met up with a female friend later to just decompress and get some uncomplicated feminine energy. I ended up texting the girl I met some time ago from my 'Color Girl' FR, and she actually came and joined us. That was...also weird.

She did have a boyfriend and made that clear...somewhat...early on.

But then dropped things like, when I said I generally preferred being the forward one,
"I hope you don't mind if I'm forward with you"
Or,
"I've been looking for a guy like you for a long time..."
Or,
"Have you ever cheated with someone? Like, they were in a relationship and you weren't?"
And so on.

We all three ended up going back to my apartment (ahaha...hah.) and talked, listened to music, and danced. I was very physical with her. She was clearly really turned on and enjoying herself. For some time she didn't seem to be acting on her boyfriend inhibitions and was warming up to my advances.

My female friend texted me,
"Feel free to kick me out when you want. Don't want to interrupt any plans... ;p"

A few minutes later, I told her I was going to take her up on her offer. The girl I was flirting with kind of freaked out (without knowing what the offer was?) and went into a long story about...nothing. It was really bizarre. We had been escalating physically with lots of incidental sensual touch, say, on the sides of her breasts by my wrists from the way I was holding her, or her grinding up against me...or an occasional neck kiss exchanged or very lightly touching noses with foreheads leaned in and so on.

Then (and I don't remember how, I am seriously sleep deprived at this point, with 3 nights this week having gone on less than 4 hours a night) she and my female friend got into a conversation about her relationship.

Game over, man, game over.

Basically, my female friend is a Good Girl at least with respect to relationships and really respects and values EVERYONE'S relationships, even if they don't respect them too much themselves. She got a bit of subtle moralizing in on the girl I was with and things slowly shut down. Instead of subtly and promisingly progressing, she got more standoffish and slightly bossy. It made me laugh a lot -- I did basically ignore her in-charge frame.

They left together about an hour after I had initially indicated to my female friend that I wanted her to leave so we could be alone.

They then had a conversation about what had happened, and it sounds like she's doing major reputation damage control to my friend, who wants to believe in the good and purity of everyone (well...selectively) and who has started to sort of pin it on me being an evil seducer. Now, I mean...guilty as charged, usually, but this time the girl had a big hand in it herself.

Oh, well. It was an educational night. Two very different sorts of failures in a row, saw a turnaround on a girl I met via more or less accidental cold approach a few months ago, and so on.

Ugh, I wish I could sleep during the daytime.

Haraklus said:

My female friend texted me,
"Feel free to kick me out when you want. Don't want to interrupt any plans... ;p"

A few minutes later, I told her I was going to take her up on her offer.

Click to expand...

To state the obvious: you should have just texted back "Yes please. Now." No sense in breaking the expectation of discretion that your Platonic has herself set up in your favor.

Lesson learned.

Marty said:

To state the obvious: you should have just texted back "Yes please. Now." No sense in breaking the expectation of discretion that your Platonic has herself set up in your favor.

Lesson learned.

Click to expand...

Lesson fucking learned, indeed. I absolutely should have. I was/am still too out of it to realize that on my own, thanks for pointing it out.

Well, after a bit of R&R, I'm back in the game. Just had a busy week, but I'm mostly recovered from the insanity of last weekend. I actually have a date tonight with the women I met for a date a couple if weeks ago. We're going to my apartment for the big number two, so that makes it pretty easy. Other than that, my pipeline is pretty empty. There were some minor flirtations here and there, but nothing special / worth recording. Expect news of new approaches later this week.

So...last Tuesday fell through -- it was planned for when she was done with work, and it ended up being a killer shift (there was a big event happening right above her resturaunt), so she worked harder and longer than usual. I told her I was debating not rescheduling throughout the ensuing conversation, that I wasn't mad, but that she seemed really busy and I wasn't into pouring in the effort and thought of reinitiation when it just wasn't happening. She said she thought I was "super cool", and that she "really wanted to meet with me again", so I said I'd give it another shot. Contacted her Sunday, and cut to the chase, she ended up not replying (with no indication leading to that) when I mentioned a specific date and time. Crazy thing is, I ended up putting all of this effort into her because I wasn't approaching due to work-related time constraints (which have laxed in the last couple of days).

Now, just minutes ago, I bumped into a young woman in my apartment complex that I have met maybe 2-3 times. We met a LONG time ago, probably a year ago...I was walking down the hall towards the elevator lobby, and she was looking at herself in the mirror. I said to her,

"Ah, just checkin' yourself out, huh?"
She looked really sheepish and embarrassed, so I said to her,
"No worries, I do the same thing. Beautiful sight to be behold, right? So why not?"

This was during my post divorce "not gonna touch a woman for awhile" phase. Damn my awful timing. Because this girl was absurdly beautiful. Not even my type, but the sheer force of her beauty blew me away. I actually started sweating even as I was calm and cool on the exterior.

Anyway, the next time we met, she started talking about how her history class was really boring...I interrupted her and asked,
"...Are you really going to complain to me about how boring your class is right now?"
Which got her all apologetic.

Eventually, I wandered by her with a friend. He thought she was really hot and turned to catch a view of her from behind as we walked past. Apparently she did the same thing to catch a view of me.

The next time I saw her, I was with another very beautiful woman and didn't say a thing. Hadn't seen her since. It REALLY bothered me that I hadn't asked this girl out. It was a straight up choke with someone I felt instantly attracted to. I found myself occasionally asking "What if?". Finally, if nothing else, this will resolve all of that. I ran into her again today and actually asked her out.

"Hey...I should have asked this awhile ago, but would you like to get a drink some time?" (I should have left out the "should have asked" bit, but it just kind of happened on its own...eek.)
She started to say "Why?" it sounded like, but then had a look of realization cross her face. She then smiled and said,
"Sure!" with a good degree of enthusiasm.
"Cool. I'm pretty busy tonight, but...tomorrow or Thursday would work."
"Yeah, those would work for me, too, then."
"Tomorrow, then."
We then chitchatted a bit -- I don't remember all of the exact words, but she mentioned that she was looking for a summer job to pay for fun things, I then asked if she liked to dance, she said she did, we talked a bit about the different dance styles we were into. There actually wasn't a ton of overlap. I asked her if she'd done any swing and if she thought it was interesting. She said she hadn't, but that it did look like fun.

I then qualified her, I suppose, by telling her that I liked it when I met people I could invite to swing.

A minute ago I texted her and suggested we meet tomorrow at 7. Her response:
"Sounds lovely. See you then!"

Basically, I'm getting the feeling that she's interested, but no longer 'head turningly' interested the way she was before. Meanwhile, my hand actually shook slightly as I handed her my phone.

I'm super optimistic about tomorrow, but I'm increasingly zen about it. I don't like being more into people than they are into me, which is what this feels like at this point. I need to get out and meet other absurdly beautiful women to maintain an abundant perspective.

Alright. That one also turned into a cancel. Made one immediate attempt to reschedule and got radio silence. Time to move on.

In starting to see what's hard about this, though. I've done 6ish cold approaches, gotten 4 numbers, 2 dates, and 1 kiss. And a whole lot of fading.

I took that last one pretty hard. Surprisingly hard. It's really a different ballgame in cold approach, where rejection of various kinds is so much more common, and success more sparse. That change in success: failure ratio is surprisingly hard to swallow.


However, it ultimately refocused me. I revisited the basics on process, flow rate, and so on, and came to the conclusion that I'm STILL not working hard enough on sheer volume of approaches. I did 6 over a month. That's not enough. 60 would be better. Back to the basics. Meet more women. Soldier on.