The Adventures of Wes

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
I figured I might as well start a journal since I'm going back to school on Monday. I don't really feel a need to do the newbie assignment since I'm practically beast at dealing with approach anxiety so I'm going to use this as a place to post my outings, field interactions, and discoveries.

Anyway,here's a little about me. I'm Tevin. I go by Wes (my middle name short for Wesley) here because my first name is too unique and if anyone I know in real life saw this they'd probably laugh at me. Screw them. Florida native.
I'm 20. I'm young looking for my age and many people think I'm actually 16 or 17. I can also come off as immature because I was a late bloomer. Everyone else my age in grade school were actively learning from the world around them and socializing and learning in school but I stayed in my own head and drew pictures all the time.
Eventually my mom held me back and had me repeat 7th grade. For obvious reasons. Still, I always seemed to gravitate towards people younger than me because kids my age intimidated me.
All my life, I never really faced my fears and ran away. My younger brother who is 18 right now actually seems like my older brother. He is the charismatic one who seems to have life figured out.
I got tired of seeing my younger brother suceeding in life without me and decided to master this skill.
I discovered pickup in 2007 when a show came on TV with Mystery and ever since I was opened to a whole world of possibility.
I spent the rest of middle school and high school google searching for answers but couldn't find much due to the fact that I needed to have money for anything pua related.
In 2009 I met my first girlfriend which was actually an infatuation that lasted until 2011. I spent 2009 friendzoned and then finally got her in the summer of 2010. We struggled because I was too much of a pussy to do anything. I never kissed her and then when I finally pulled out the courage to do so at our homecoming she became distant and broke up with me the next day via email saying: "it didn't feel right, it felt like kissing a friend or a brother"
I spent 2011 trying to get her back using advice from some random pua. Almost had her but then I messed up and she completely auto rejected me and hated me. I spent my senior year of high school recovering from everything. The depression, the anxiety. I was in a horrible place.
Then the summer after graduation I found Girlschase.
I remember clicking on article after article filling my mind up with everything that was written. It was life changing and then when I started college I decided to put it into use.
Since then I had 3 girls over. Made out with 2. And fingered 1 who is now my very very close female friend.
I've gotten many numbers, rejections..done many approaches on campus, malls, stores, on the street, etc.
Straight to the point, anyone..no matter where they started can get good at this skill. I'm not saying I've had it the worst but with determination I've brought myself out of my past and this is me officially paying attention to the future.
I hope to inspire others with my discoveries/journey so yup...that's all I've gotta say.

Peace
Tev
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
Yesterday. Saturday August 24

Sooo much stuff happened. I went to the mall (the one that's poppin') with my brother and his friend and my friend that I'm coaching showed up too. I had originally planned on just coaching him. On Saturdays this particular mall is PACKED with girls. The hottest girls in my town.
I accidentally got in state because of the attention I was getting. I was dressed pretty damn sexy. I was wearing all fitted clothes. Had fitted jeans and an H&m button down shirt with the sleeves "folded" up. The shirt really showed off my body...and I kept getting looks from girls and got hit on once.
I'm going to post about everything in the field reports because it was too good.
I got about 4 numbers yesterday and of them, 2 I actually had a connection with. It was amazing.
We stayed pretty late just talking to new girls all day. Then we left to see a movie.
I anted to see the new Wolverine but it was sold out so we saw Percy Jackson...which wasn't that bad.
Then my brothers friend told us about a party at the beach. An actually 21 & up party not some teenage "mom and dad's not home let's have people over" kind of party.
I'll post about that in field reports too and link them both on here.
Needless to say, it was my first time getting buzzed. I didn't get drunk.
Also first time smoking hookah.
I hadn't had that much fun in a while despite the fact that there were hardly any attractive girl's there...and the ones that were, we're staying sober and wouldn't loosen up.
That's all for now.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
Sunday August 25

Working at the mall today, I noticed a few girls who looked open to meeting me. I wasn't attracted to them though and kept walking.
Then there were these sisters that walked past me as I was sitting at the chair at the kiosk.
I noticed them but I wasn't in the mood to approach any girls today. I have too many phone numbers right now...and I'm frustrated that I can't DO anything with them. All of the girl's numbers I have are of girls I genuinely like...and now they may go into auto reject because I'm not following through. :/ I'll just lose ALL of them.
The sisters separated and I noticed the younger one kept lingering around me, asking into the stores near the kiosk.
She walked past me and made an effort to make eye contact and smile at me...so I knew.
Welp, she's cute and exotic looking...I guess I'll add another to the list.
When she came back out of the store she was in she was on the phone looking for her sister. I had seen the direction her sister went she was in the store so I got up and slowly walked towards her.
While she was still talking on the phone, I said
Me: are you looking for your friend? She went that way. (pointed in the direction)
She got off the phone after getting the specifics and I started to slowing move away to see if she was going to be open and try to talk to me.

Her: thanks! (big smile on her face. I can tell she was glad I said something to her)
Me: what's your name?
Her: (extremely unique name)
Me: whoa..how do you spell that
Her: it's like____ but with a 'iana' at the end. (she locked herself in to stay)
Me: my name is Tevin. (took a few seconds of looking at each other then we shook hands and I held her hand for a little longer.)
I was kinda half assing this whole approach since she seemed to already be sold on me.
Me: you must be Spanish or Arabic or something...
Her: close...haha guess!
Me: Arabic?
Her: no Spanish is closer. Keep guessing.
Me: no idea.
Her: brazilian.
Me: really? I love Brazilian girls.
Her: we'll I'm actually from Massachusetts but I was born in brazil.
We talk about brazil and stuff for awhile and then I'm also trying to make sure she's not too young by asking where she goes to school. I didn't ask her age but from the answers...she might be 15 or 16. I hope she's at least 16 because 15 is wayyy too young. I should've gone for her older sister who looks my age. Her sister was even more attractive and had such a nice ass too. But they both were so pretty.
Eventually I get her number and tell her she can't text me until I pay my phone bill and talk about hanging out sometime.
I highly doubt it will happen though. As usual.

I was just about to quit gaming for awhile since I felt like I was at a plateau. I was going to take a break for awhile and concentrate on getting all the things I need to move forward with seduction. Like a car.
But then what if during the break I lose all the skill I've gained?
Is there a way I can still be improving a little more even though it feels like I'm stuck?
Then I watched one on Will Beck's YouTube videos of him pulling a two different girls back to his place and his break down of what he was doing and I figured...there's STILL some things I CAN'T or just not COMFORTABLE doing.
Like for instance, kissing a girl I just met.
And I'm not the best at holding a girls hand so smoothly that she wants to keep doing it and not pull away.
I'm not even comfortable with touching girls I just met completely. It still feels off despite the fact that we stand close sometimes. I need it to become part of my body movements to just touch them like it's what I do all the time.

So here's what I'm going to be working on for awhile: my goal in the field is to do approaches so much to the point where I get hand holding in and feel comfortable with it. I don't knowif I should worry about phone numbers...
Maybe I should just to satisfy the girl...or maybe I'll just be honest and tell them that I approached them to get comfortable holding hands and to not have high expectations of me. I DON'T want to hurt a girls feelings.

Once I get that down, I'm going to force myself to get comfortable kissing girls I just met. From what I've learned there are such thing as girls who don't kiss guys they'll sleep with so I need to find a way to screen out the girls like this. I'll probably tell them to not expect it to go anywhere because I'm just practicing. And if they really like me, they can help me out and be a kissing buddy. I apparently really suck at it. (I'm sorry i just had my first kiss in 2011)

Once I have that down, I'm going to force myself to start moving girls to unusual locations..not to lay..but something small...I'll practice my fingering in public secluded places. I'm going to try and get this down where I can practically handle any resistance to this...then...

Go for the lays.
By this time, hopefully I accomplish my goal of getting a car.
Hopefully by this time I've met cool enough girls that let the fingering practice go further and I've gotten my first blowjob or lost my virginity.
Once I'm going for the lays I believe I'll be at an intermediate level where all I have to really worry about is handling resistance and little interaction tweaks like improving on deep diving or anything else.

I want to see if I can get to the fingering by at least December this year.
Bring it on.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
Sexy Armenian girl today.

Today was my first day of class and I was on a roll approaching freshmen and girls of all grades. The first day of college is always so crowded. Honestly, it felt like I was truly an alpha walki around and I noticed many girls wanting to be opened.

Was walking with a girl friend of mine and a pretty mixed girl was walking toward us in a yellow dress looking so adorable. She had a bright smile on her face and I told me friend hold on...I HAVE to talk to this girl.
Me and her made eye contact and she smiled.
I made a hand motion that started from her face all the way to her feet and said: all of this...I love it. You are so adorable.

Her: (smiling) Thankyou!
Introduced myself and then started with the conversations about what she was taking and what her major was in. Found out she was actually in high school and was at the college for dual enrollment classes. She was 16...and taller than me by about an inch. Still too tall...and kinda young.
I walked with her to show her where the cafeteria was. My friend called after me and told me where she'll wait for me and then I left.
The mixed girl told me how she had to meet friends in the cafeteria but I didn't care and kept going with her. I thought maybe I could lead her to sit and talk...but when we got inside she actually was meeting friends...and I was NOT in the mood to divide my attention and be super socially calibrated. I'm not there yet, obviously from my apparent narcissism and no social grace. I'll get there in time though.

So I told her bye, hugged and left.
Also ran into a girl that I tried dancing on at the club....it was so weird seeing her sober. I wanted to apologize for treating her like a sex object at the club that night, but I didn't think of it so I left.

Straight to the point...after class I rode the city bus to the good mall to try and apply for "better" jobs.
Just about finished up and saw a girl's backside walking away from me and turning a corner to never be seen again.
All I got was a glance...but I KNEW this girl was sexy as hell.
She was wearing tight white pants that ended just above her knee. She had a sexy ass...long brown hair..and she was wearing a tank top.
I figured I'll go in the direction in a few minutes but I just noticed right when I was asking someone for directions to something.
The person finally finished looking up directions on their map on their phone and helped me out....then I noticed the sexy girl walki g back my direction holding a Victoria's secret bag. She must've gone in there and bought something and came back.

I made eye contact with her, approached her slowly and said in a calm and authoritative voice my situational opener that i DON'T feel comfortable sharing.
While I was saying it she looked attentive the her face transformed I to a smile and she laughed.
Her: oh haha! You got me!
Then we bantered about my opener for a bit.

Note: what I've learned. With situational openers you can usually have a conversation about what you opened with and then smoothly flow into asking questions about her instead of just directly going: you're cute, what's your name, question question question.
I find with direct openers..you're pretty much forced to talk about the future with a girl immediately because it seems dumb to talk about "what she's doing" at the moment. It's obvious. She's shopping.
I feel like my conversations are going better and smoother when me and the girl talk about the present moment first. Particularly the opener I just used...then some in the present teasing and flirting naturally comes in..bam she's attracted. Good way to start off. Now connect with her. That's when you can focus on past and future topics like where she's from and where she's going.
I'm just saying. It personally feels unsmooth and unnatural for me to just jump straight into trying to find out what is interesting about a girl.

After bantering ends.
Me: what's your name?
Her: Lauren :) what about you?
Me: Tevin
Her: Kevin?
Me: haha no Tevin...like Kevin but with a 'T'
Her: ohh okay...
Me: if it's hard to remember you could always call me Wesley.
Her: noo..I like Tevin better.:)
Me: why? I don't "look" like a "Wesley", do I?
Her: nope haha.
We get silent and I get reminded of how sexy this girl is...I'm looking at her who,e body from face to toe. It seems like she came out of the house with no bra on or something or either her boobs are just big. Those things were almost saying hello to me. She was wearing a tank top I mean.
Her hips...right there on the Jennifer Lopez level. And I already know she had an ass.
I looked at her bag.
Me: so what's up besides shopping for Victoria's secret? (this also made me consider that she had a boyfriend.)
her: we'll I was just about to go meet up a friend at such and such. (she also said something else that hinted she was a student)
Me: oh, so you're in college?
Her: Mhm.
Me: where do you go to?
Her: (same one as me)
Me: really? Damn..I need to run into you around campus. You're gorgeous.
Her: oh stop :)
Me: wait...( examines her face ) Imtrying to figure out where you're from...I can tell you're not just white...you must be European.
Her: yea I am...guess.
Me: Italian.
Her: nope but I have some Italian ancestors.
Me: hmm...Bosnian?
Her: haha nooo.
Me: dang...you must be close to something Arabic?
Her: haha no..I'm Armenian.
Me: ohhh...dang..I completely forgot about that country. That's awesome. Well...obviously I find you attractive but what's interesting about you? (I struggled spiriting this out because I really didn't want to revert to using this...but she wasn't giving me much to work with. She wasn't really asking me questions. All more proof that she has a boyfriend.
Her: like what?
Me: like...I don't know..you have some cool talent...or you can sing or something. I love it when girls can sing.
Her: haha noo..I don't have any talent. I'm kind of boring.
Me: what? I don't believe that..there's something interesting about everyone. Come on let's walk this way.

We start walking and go down an escalator to the first floor. somewhere along the way I put her number in my phone and told her I haven't paid my phone bill yet so she's shouldn't expect a text from me yet.
As we're walking I learn she has a boyfriend but I don't remember how it came up.
I remember getting quiet afterwards because I was in my head trying to think.
I guess from her point of view I seemed upset.
Her: aww..I feel bad now.
Me: no..I really don't care actually...I'm just thinking about how to respond because I don't hear that often. I think we should still hang out though. Let's sit right here. (as we were approaching a bench)
She refused to sit...and said she had to go and meet a friend at 5 something.
I looked at her like she said something wrong and said
Me: you DO realize that's an hour away right?
Her: yea but I also gotta do this &this...
Me: (I could've persisted but I didn't feel like it and I also had to go.) well when are you free?
She tells me when shes free..and adds that she also lives far far away..in another county.
Me: see...that's a problem...do you have a car?
Her: yea.
Me: okay...I take the city bus everywhere and it doesn't take me to that county so...we''ll have to work something out.
Her: okay. Well you have my number so if you ever want to do anything, text me :)
Me: alright...wait? Do you have a Facebook?
Her: yea..when you text me, I'll text you my last name so you can find me :)
Me: alright cool cool...give me a hug (moves in for a hug)
Hugs her sexy body.
Then I watch her walk away, checking out that awesome ass one last time and sigh...wow.
I'm talking to what some guys would consider perfect 10s...
Pretty soon I'll be kissing them.
I started off approaching less intimidating girls to get used to approaching. I classify them as "cute"

My scale goes. Ugly, unattractive, not ugly but not attractive, plain, cute, pretty, beautiful/gorgeous, then sexy/hot.
A lot of the time I call cute girls beautiful and gorgeous because they don't hear it much and they just melt.

One thing I noticed after approaching these "sexy" girls recently is that they are making me nervous. THEY can't tell, but my legs were actually trembling the whole time I opened and bantered.
There was also no touching aside from the freaking handshake, which is weird to me.
Later, I thought about how I can get myself touching girls smoothly and often... I couldn't think of anything..then I had an epiphany.
I'm an attractive male with a presence...what girl that vibes with me right away WOULDN'T want me touching them?
I was so used to having my touches rejected in my unattractive creepy nice guy days that I felt like touching was wrong but seriously think about it...
I thought about how I'd react if an attractive girl like Ariana grande or any sexy girl just walked up to me...and held my hand ands tarted talking to me. I would LIKE it. I wouldn't want to let GO. Of course id want them to talk to me first and turn me on...buti certainly won't pull away. I'll feel GOOD. Any guy will feel GOOD.
Any girl will feel GOOD if an attractive guy just took their hand and locked fingers with them and then started leading and conversating with them.
She might even be flattered...blush...giggle...she'll be thinking: oh my god! I Can't believe this guy is holding my hand! What did I do do deserve this? Is this forreal?

So starting today, I'm going for it to see how it goes.
Also, I know about the fact that if I get more experienced then holding hands and touching actually looks like more effort and takes away from your attractiveness. So until I'm there, I'm touching until its as easy as touching myself. (o.o)

Gotta learn to break out of barriers and THINK...outside the box. Redefine what you think is "allowed"

Alright I'm done.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
Abolishing my victim mentality

The other day I was really anxious about something and I ended up lifting a huge weight off my shoulders.
All my life, I've blamed others for my shortcomings. I've blamed my parents, I've blamed their parents, I've blamed the country, I've blamed society, I've blamed the people that I grew up around, I never took the blame for anything.
I never really had a problem with myself until I got into middle school...that's when I began to become insecure with my personality. Other people are usually insecure with their physical appearance but me, no, I hated who I was. I hated how I was shy. I hated how I was goofy, I hated how I wasn't cool enough and socially calibrated. I hated that I wasn't charismatic, like my brother.
None of this was ever Myfault though, it was everyone else's.
Have you ever heard that a child's personality is developed in the first 6 years of their life?
When I first heard that, I was given the ultimate excuse to why I was the way I am. I could simply say: "I'm this way because my Parents made me this way. It was because of the outward influences in the first 6 years of my life.
So I spent a lot of my life so far shifting that onto them.
Some nights, my mom and I would have talks whenever I'm feeling anxiety and stressing out about the future. One prevalent thing that happens in each of our conversations is me asking her why she did certain things the way she did when I was a child. I would tell her: "because you did that, I'm this way now...and this is where this came from."
As if she could help it. As if she could foresee into the future and stop me from being what my future self didn't want me to become.

Onto what I was anxious about though. I was laying on my bed looking at the ceiling, thinking about how in the WORLD did I manage to avoid almost every key point in my childhood, middle school, and high school experience.
I'm 20 and I JUST experienced many things this year, while my peers are practically adults right now.
Last weekend was my first time drinking.
Earlier this year, I tried weed, just to try it.
Still have not had sex.
First time going to a party that wasn't held by my church with parents around.
Everyone of my peers, it seems have all fallen into experiences like this. Yes, it's less than ideal, but it does something to them. They mature. They grow.They've had experiences and learned lessons from them. They have actually had a "coming of age".
I spent my child, middle and high school career actively AVOIDING all of these cliche moments that I continued to see on movies and tv and the media constantly. I figured, I learned the lesson that is trying to be taught because I've seen fictional characters fail so many times.
I figured the goal was to not Fail.

In case it isn't obvious by the way that I type (me, me, I, me, I, all about me) I have a mild God complex and I'm quite narcissistic. In order to hold a belief in my mind that I was perfect, I never wanted to let myself fail.
I even thought of myself as better than everyone in high school. My ego was very inflated from the time of freshmen year.
At the school of my freshmen year, there was a rumor going around that the upperclassmen were throwing freshmen in trash bins and that we'd better watch our backs. I was scared shit-less...but apparently it never showed on my face.
I had an art class with upperclassmen and I was one of the ONLY freshmen in there. When a senior sitting near me finally found out what grade I was in, he told me:" I didn't think you were a freshmen...the way you carry yourself made me think you were a sophomore or junior."
He wasn't the only one. Upperclassmen girls kept hitting on me and giving me attention. They thought I was a senior and that I was new. (of course back then, I didn't know how to lead and these girls went into auto-reject)
All of this showed me that high school was Nothing like how it was shown in the media. What in the world are they talking about?!
To me there were no "popular kids"
There were no "nerds"
There were no "jocks"
There were groups, yes, but there didn't seem to be some kind of social hierarchy, at least not on the surface.
The groups weren't even like they were shown in the media either. People just seemed to group up with people of similar interest. There were "jocks" on the football team who also like playing video games and were also friends with "nerds"
There were "nerds" who seemed very social and had charisma and everyone seemed to like them.
Everything was fine.
Because I didn't want to be labeled as someone in a particular group, I spent all of my high school career being a "loner".
Being "too cool" for these stupid little cliques everyone is forming. Instead I tried to have friends from various groups.
But guess what, I never was truly connected to them and it never felt like we were friends past the surface.
If I ever see them outside of school, there was absolutely nothing to talk about. I didn't really know them. It seemed like I was just USING them.
Because I was never truly friends with anyone, I was never in the "know" about anything going on around school. I didn't know much about people's personal dramas and the things going on behind the scenes.
I didn't know parties existed until I was a senior. I had assumed that nobody actually had parties and it was just a thing teens do in the movies. (hasn't everyone learned that if you throw a party, your parents will come back and find out and you'll be in trouble regardless)
Basically, this was MY fault.
I could've experienced things if I wasn't being "too cool" for everything.
Failure is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes we must have failures so that we can learn lessons and have crazy stories to tell in the future.
I came to the conclusion that I can only blame MYSELF for my shortcomings.
I could've developed the personality I wanted if I didn't stand in my own way.
I could be happier with myself if I didn't stand in my own way.
All I can do now is focus on the present and future and stop dwelling on the past.
I still have time.

Then the weight was lifted.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
I haven't posted in a while. Lost motivation.
I'll start keeping these as short as possible. Also I'll try to write more often.

I just discovered this guy typing a journal on the RSD nation website. He's very similar to me. He's 20, he's in community college, he's black, he's geeky yet looks attractive, he has many many things in life going AGAINST him.

Yet this guy goes out EVERY FREAKING DAY. RAIN OR SHINE. And he's improving. He's been improving all summer.
He even has it worse than I. His father is in jail and left him with a shit load of credit card debt to pay off. He is out on his own and pays his own bills and pays a rent to his uncle for staying in his basement. While I'm here complaining about all the things stacked against me and living with my mom, who is too loving not to just kick me out and make me take care of myself.

Gotta love her for that.
So I'm going to change. For her. For my improvement.
Starting now my goals are:

-write daily goals in journal every morning
-meditate for 20 minutes in the morning
- stop goofing off and help my mom around the apartment
- help pay rent which means I need to get a job pronto
- go out EVERYDAY. And approach, approach, approach.
- work out with my friend Sean four times a week. Build body.
-keep my grade up in the ONLY FREAKIN class I have this semester.

Alright. I'm going to bed now. In the morning, we have to finish moving our stuff out of the old apartment and then we are officially done moving.
Also gotta get my old alarm clock from my brother because it'll really help me with a lot of things.

Deuces
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
Today.

Finished moving. All of our belongings are now in our new apartment. Took all day.
Didn't get to go out at all today but it's all good. Tomorrow's goals:

-Meditate in the morning. Apparently it will take 3 weeks until I start to see actual results with meditating.
I want to become more present, more focused/motivated, less stressed and anxious.
- complete load of homework the same day my professor gives it.
- work out at campus gym
- daygame at the Target down the street from my place.
-approach ALL in Target. (also observe when the best times are to game here. Target is pretty empty whenever I go in.)

I need to get a start at approaching anyone and not being picky. Build reference points, emotional connections, social skills.
Unfortunately I'm going to bed right now. Maybe one day I'll be out at this time clubbing, night gaming, or sexing it up with girls.
Deuces.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
So far the day is going great!
Woke up this morning and meditated for about 17 minutes. Accidentally stopped and looked at the clock to see if I was done. It was only 3 minutes remaining so I stopped.
It really helped. I felt really present at school.
My brother came by and drove us to school. I chilled with him until his class started and talked to some of his classmates who were all waiting outside of class for the professor to arrive.

One girl was by herself. She was cute so might as well make her my first approach. I hesitated a bit...then I went in and sat right next to her on the bench.
Me: you're super cute, who are you?
Her: (smiling and looking away) *says her name*

I introduce myself and then conversation just flows. It was unscripted and I said whatever came to mind. She didn't really participate and kept looking at her phone some of the time. I was not fazed by it at all and was making her laugh and smile.
I think she has a boyfriend though because she seemed like she trying hard to show no signs of interest.

I finished up then got up and went over to my brother. He whispered to me that I took the girl he was going to talk to.
I was like: if you were going to do it, you should've done it already.
He told me that some guy sitting near me and her was laughing at me.
Me: nooo...he was probably laughing at my jokes and teases.

Then they all went into class and I roamed the campus talking to anybody I happened to come by.
I was being so random. Walked into the cafeteria. A girl is sitting down studying. I walk up. She looks up at me. I look her in the eyes. Serious face.
Me: hi....do you know....the muffin man?
Girl: what?
Me: do you know the muffin man?
She starts laughing
Her: nooo :D
Me: see...I made myself a gingerbread man...but he got up off the pan...and he ran, ran, ran...as fast as he can...and now I need the muffin man's help.
Her: (smiling)

Then I talked about how she should go on an adventure with me to help me find him. Us joking around...having fun.
Then her friend comes. She tells her friend how I opened her and then were all in a conversation about a lot of stuff. Eventually I leave.
I go to the library and pass a lady sitting alone at a table studying. She looks up at me, noticing my presence and smiles.
I freeze and look at her with shock
Me: you can SEE me?
She starts laughing and nods.
Me: you're not supposed to see me....I'm the campus ghost.
Then I walk away.
I basically just doing a bunch of self amusement things which is elevating my state and I feel so good. This stuff just pops up in my head. Unscripted. Only when I'm very present.

Go to cafeteria again after working on a computer in the library and I'm talking to a classmate. There a Latina cute sitting a table away who seems to be listening to our conversation. Then I invite her in asking if she was listening.
Then all three of us are all talking. We introduce ourselves to her and then I tease her a bit about her phone case which has the Florida gators logo on it.
Her: you don't like the gators?
Me: no...Seminoles all day!
Her: aww you suck! :p
Me: haha I'm just kidding...I don't care about football so I could care less about either team.

I finally was able to tease properly...without insulting the girl.
It's not like I told her gators suck I only said: ew...burn that phone case...it has the wrong logo on it.

Eventually I left. My classmate continued talking to her. But I saw the girl that I met the first day of school walking by outside of the cafeteria and went out after her.(the girl from 1st day with yellow dress)
I called her name. She turned around.
Me: yea that's right, walk your legs right back over here. :) (she's walking to me)
Her: heyyyy! (holds arms out to hug me)
We're talking for a little while walking. I tease her about her height. She's one inch taller than me...and she's wearing heels for some reason.
I tell her that we should go eat lunch and she tells me she can't because she's going to a doctors appointment.
So I take her number and she gives me an asked for hug and takes her leave.
God, that girl is beautiful...I'm surprised she's not getting hit on very much here. Maybe guys are intimidated.

As I'm walking back, a girl is walking towards me going the opposite direction. I notice that she has nice legs wrapped in yoga pants. Aandddd....I usually don't care about this but...
A thigh gap.
Similar to this: http://www.google.com/search?q=thig...768&bih=928&dpr=1#biv=i|145;d|B2x7RK4Btr1llM:
Okay so...thigh gaps are not something I look or care for but when a girl has one and it's natural...it's great...and THIS girl had an amazing body.
I hold my hand out in a stop motion and say: stop. (she looks at me) you're body is amazing...and you're so cute.
Then we get to talking and it was such a great flowing conversation...
Near the end she seemed like she didn't want to leave ying: okaaaay...well I have to go this way (hesitating)
Me: okay.
Her: maybe we will see each other again.
Me: yea.
Then she walks away. Then I realize...wait I should've taken her number. Ugh whatever. I'm in a rush and I'm going to be late for class.

Go to class. Get out. Cafeteria with my friends. One of my friends knocks me out of state by tooling me and then I'm pretty upset the whole time. I get over it and then we go to the gym.
Worked out. Rode the city bus home. Just finished eating post workout food. Typed this up.

About to head out again to daygame at the target down the street. Will post how that goes tonight.
Today is awesome so far.
Deuces.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Kinda disappointed. The Target was just as deserted as the mall across from it. Nothing but moms and their kids. And old people.
I guess I have to go to other sides of town because my side of town is half ghetto/half red-neck. Even when I DO see girls to talk to...they're either ratchet girls that I can just grind on at a club or a red-neck which I risk losing my life by talking to. Lol (I go out to daygame to find intelligent chicks, not hood rats and hicks)
My best hopes of places near me are:
-The beach. Close to the community college I go to.
-the town center. A outdoor shopping center
- the riverside. Really liberal area by the river...but full of gays and lesbians.
-the mall on the south side. Love this place.
-the college in town. I've just been too scared to actually go there. This college is the real deal, not just some community college.

I think I met all of my goals aside from approaching all...there's no way I can approach everyone on campus. Maybe in a store or club but not on campus.

That's all. Going to read and then sleep.
Peace.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
343
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Black man in the land of Japan
Today went bad but then I turned it around.
Basically didnt have time to eat breakfast or brush my teeth to clear my morning breath this morning. I meditated for a total of 20 minutes but then my brother texted me telling me to be ready because He was coming by so we could ride to school.
Got to school...didn't feel open to approaching at all. Was in my head too much. I let too many cuties pass me without saying anything.
Then I'm walking with a friend and I notice this guy stop this girl. I didn't catch the conversation but the way it LOOKED, looked like a guy running game. I took a seat nearby to watch what this guy was doing.
This guy was GOOD. He was close to her. Her face was practically blushing. He was talking softly with a bedroom voice.
People just walked past like it was no big deal, but I knew what was going on. I was kinda jealous because this girl was a girl that I let pass me and I didn't say anything.

At the end he kissed her. They made out for a short little time and then parted ways. I saw her face blushing as she walked away smiling. OH MY GOD! I told my friend what happened and then followed after the guy to ask him about it. I wanted to see if this guy was in the community.

Turns out, he's not. He had actually been talking to that girl for awhile. He's just slow gaming her...so it wasn't a cold approach pickup. Oh well. I regret letting this guy leave without trying to become friends with him so i can learn some stuff from him.
He seemed so chill and acted like it was no big deal. Made me feel like I was getting excited over nothing.
Anyway I have been implementing this hand hold lead pull thing to move girls. So far I've done it twice. And it's been on girls that I know but I'm not close to...we just small talk whenever we see each other.

Girl is walking towards me. I body language showing "come here, give me a hug"
We hug. I ask her where she's headed. She tells me. It's no place that she has to be immediately so I take her hand and say: how about you hang with me instead
And I lead her to a bench.
I sit her down first then sit next to her. This way I can choose how close I want to sit by her. Usually when I sit first, girls will be all weird and sit super far from me. Then when I try to close the distance, it looks obvious and sleepy and I come off creepy.
Only thing though, after I sat her down and sat next to her, she had her legs pointed away. I noticed her body language and she seemed taken a back by how close and forward I was being so I moved back.
She let me touch her legs. (we have this on going thing about how I love her legs so much. She doesn't mind me touching them)
I don't escalate any further because I'm subconscious about my breath. I can literally "feel" it stinking. So I catch the next bus home and make breakfast and brush my teeth. My mom is home for some reason instead of AT work.
She is bitching at me about a bunch of stuff. Making me feel horrible.
She gets on me about finding a job to help out and tells me my priorities are wrong and that I shouldn't care about "working out at the gym" or other things. -_-
She offers a ride to an area of town so I can actively job search. I'm basically upset the whole time. PISSED.
So I'm supposed to just give up working out and give up pick up...things that take TIME...and instead become a slave to society and probably never have free time again?
Her bitching had me feeling so bad I was (embarrassingly) tearing up a bit. I don't cry often but when I do, I have an epiphany and good changes come of it.
the last time I cried was when I was in 8th grade and I made vows and changes still effective to this day after that.

Realization: my mom makes me feel value-less because I offer no value to her. I don't help her out. I take, take, take...but I don't give back. I do this a lot. I take from people but I feel like I don't have anything to offer them.
Does this mean I have no value? Not necessarily. I have no value to THEM, BUT plenty people find value in my friendship and good feelings.
I offer value to some. So what do you do when you offer no value to someone and you can't really give any value to them?
Well with girlfriends and friends, things just break off and end. So I figured....if I am value-less to my mom...instead of contemplating suicide, I should break away and not be a thing that I she has to continuously GIVE to and not receive in return. I had a thought to join the navy a month ago but never really acted on it. Now I'm thinking about it again.
I'll try once again to offer value to her and if all else fails, I'm out of here.
One of the laws of our reality is : give to receive
Reminds me of that anime "Full Metal Alchemist".

I'm sure I can offer value somewhere else.

Anyways, I head out searching for jobs...persistence...
Then end off the day at the town center, an outdoor shopping center.
Not much people here on weekdays but when there are, there's cute college girls walking around since the university is right across the street.
Girl is walking towards me dressed in a funky but still cute outfit. She looked unique. I told her I liked how she looked, she smiled and was about to keep walking. The gates of my mouth open and the flood spews.
"where are you from"?
She's from Albania and I find out she's headed to work. I tell her she should ditch work and have an adventure with me in a joking way. She leaves but says it was nice meeting me.

I am not going to worry about collecting numbers.
Goals: -make connections
- get comfortable touching
- get cold approach make outs.

That's all..overall today was good.
Came to many realizations.
Deuces.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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So much happened yesterday that I didn't get to post.
Wednesday.

I recall waking up, meditating, going to school with my brother. Turns out my mom wanted me to stay home and help her unpack but I didn't catch that.
Went to school, started off unsocial and zombie like...then did my first approach and got into state.
I lost count of all the approaches I did yesterday so I write what I remember. I honestly feel like I leveled up a little because now it seems like I'm less mechanical about conversing so I'm naturally connecting with girls (people in general).
Before my conversations used to be fake and I'd just say things just because that was logically the next thing to say or ask. When it came to relating on certain things, I was at a loss.
Now, I'm building emotional connections with everybody that I meet. I'm amazed about how much in common I have with strangers. I somehow find it. The middle ground.

Anyways, I recall meeting a Serbian girl in the cafeteria. Had a nice conversation with her, made her laugh, seemed like we knew each other for years. Got her number but turns out she has a boyfriend. I tried to get her to move with me but she kept telling me she had a class in a few minutes. I kept persisting but no good. She's definitely in love with her boyfriend so I'll leave her alone.

Then this other girl that I actually got to move with me. She was just about to sit on a bench and I talked to her. I must've been the first guy to ever talk to her or something because she was really digging it. She was also kind of weird too.
Something about her personality threw me off. Maybe that's why she doesn't get much male attention. Guys find her attractive but get into a conversation and then back away slowly.
So, ive been getting girls to move with "come on an adventure to so &so with me" and she actually agreed after giving me half hearted resistance. I persisted and she came with me. This THREW ME OFF. I don't get girls to move with me very often so I kind of messed up after that and the interaction went downhill. As we walked I tried to continue conversation where we left off but it didn't feel the same. It's like a wrecking ball came in and smashed all the good energy we had going on as we transitioned. When we got to the place I was going I ended it there. Thanked her for coming with me and hugged her. Didn't want her number, didn't take it any further.

After that I immediately saw another cute girl and jumped right in. Im a beast. She had to rush to class but was flattered to meet me. She said she hoped to see me around sometime.
Afterwards, I saw a curvy artsy girl sitting down drawing in a sketchbook. I noticed her earlier but she was out of reach.
Sat down with her. Conversed, connected. Had a great time. Turns out she's engaged.
Funny though...she complied with me. I commanded her to stand up so I can see her outfit/body. She shot up to her feet right away and spun around for me.
While we were sitting she also didn't flinch or care about me touching her legs and ass and basically feeling her up.

A lot of other people were girl's I met before but I talked to and noticed that my connecting skills are getting better. Normally I over think my way through conversations. Now, it all flows out. I REALLY don't know what I'm going to say next until the other person is finished talking. I think this meditation stuff is working.

Then my friend and I went downtown to this thing that is held every month in my city called the art walk. Which is basically like an art and music festival. Night life. Art galleries. People playing music on the streets.
This time the theme was Octoberfest.
There were a lot of hot girls in German clothing walking around. Also people in costumes and others dressed as zombies scaring people. This is THE BEST time of year to night game. My friend andi were going to take this opportunity and level up.
I did more than him because i'm a little bit more experienced but he still met people.
One of the first girls I met while I was with a female friend. I approached this cute Asian girl who had a nice fashion sense and I told her I loved how she dressed.my female friend is also really into fashion so once the topic got onto fashion, she completely COCKBLOCKED me and DOMINATED the whole conversation. They had girl talk right in front of me and I felt left out. I was going to try to get this girls number. All I got was a picture with her that my female friend took.
I told her afterwards that she COCKBLOCKED me and she said she had no idea that I was interested in that girl. (that's just her being oblivious to things)

Another one, is one I am happy with but I have a ton of regrets.
Saw a girl cosplaying as a FEMALE BEETLEJUICE. This girl was wearing a striped suit but it was tight fitting and her skinny leg pants showed off an amazing gym body that she had. Nice ass...oh my god.
Turns out this girl is a model. We were talking and my face was close to hers the entire time. She diet seem bothered by it and we just kept talking locking eyes. I place my hand on her stomach at some point and was basically almost holding her infringing of me. Still she was bothered. Here's what I regret: I SHOULD'VE KISSED HER THENAND THERE, SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY. But I pussied out. My mind kept telling me: you can't kiss a girl you just met but it felt like I should've.
My window closed so fast because this older man came up and wanted to take a picture with her or something. I was going to get her back once she was finished but this couple who must be working for a newspaper in town got to me. They thought me and the beetlejuice girl looked great together and wanted to take a picture of us. We took the photo then she went back to talking to the man. The couple started conversing with me and I fell into it but then I snapped out right when battle juice girl was finishing up. Tried to continue where we left off and tried putting my hand back on her stomach but she looked down and pushed my hand away saying: ummm... And giving me a look like: what are you doing?
I then tried to close out and get her number. She told me she doesn't give her number out
Persisted.
She says she really doesn't date.
Persisted.
She asks how old I am and tells me she's seven years older than me.
Um. I don't care. Persisted.
She gave me her card and told me that if I sent her an email she'll get back to me and we'll see.
Suuuurrreee.
Well I'm glad she gave me her card because it has all the links to her modeling photos and lets just say that she doesn't mind modeling nude. She has a beautiful body.
I regret so much that I didn't kiss her. I felt like maybe she would've slapped me or something. I need to get over this...I've SEEN it done before.

I also recall meeting a Filipina girl but she was walking with her whole family. Lol I practically ignored the family and straight lined into meeting her. At first I thought her cousin was her boyfriend. Then I thought her other cousin was her boyfriend. Then her family got impatient with her talking to me and she had to go.

The rest weren't that important. Same old, same old. Not all girls do I get that far with.

Finally, I got home pretty late and turns out on TOP OF my mom being mad that I did t help her unpack, I also didn't communicate to her that I was going to be out late so she LOCKED ME OUT.
I had to walk to my grandmas house and spend the night there.

I'm going to post what happen today in the morning. I'm tired.
Deuces.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Stupid auto correct. I'm typing on an iPad, so a lot of the time it changes what i'm if my finger makes one slight mistake and hits another letter on the on-screen keyboard. i should proof-read more often.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
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Location
Black man in the land of Japan
I don't know what happened. I was doing really good last week and now I seemed to go back to the start again.

I kinda accidentally released "sexual energy" that I built up "the wrong way" so now this time, I'm going to avoid watching porn.
but now, my approaches don't feel the same. I understand that there's good days and bad days but now, I just feel like I'm back at square one. ugh.

the last 3 days of meditating has been a drag. I could not focus...and I stopped being aware of my thoughts. I ended up daydreaming about things from the past or thinking about really negative things. I tried my best to catch myself doing it but I was getting lost in it.

I also accidentally dropped my iPad so now the display is black. I'm currently using school computers and library computers to do things.
Also, I DON'T feel comfortable being on girlschase or watching pua videos in public so now I'm not getting my 'inspiration' to continue.
It really makes me feel pathetic that I'm so dependent on this site and infield videos and can't discover things on my own.

Besides that, I'm doing approaches every chance I get but I'm not making progress.
I may need to wait for my sexual energy to rise again so that girls can 'feel' the sexual manly energy leaking off of me.

that's all for now.
deuces.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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I forgot. I also may be going through one of those 'introvert phases' where I don't want to socialize with anyone and just be alone.
I don't think my body language or facial expression are looking very open and friendly lately. they're screaming: "don't talk to me"
Even when I approach, my energy says: I really DON'T want to be talking to you right now.

I hate this so much.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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things pretty much turned around yesterday (tuesday)

I was not in the mood to socialize. meditation was crappy. I avoided people after awhile. THEN...i ran into the girl that I met last wednesday. The girl that I got to move with me that also threw me off.

well, this time, she was in the same spot I met her the first time. It's like a daily thing for her. I didn't want to talk to her at first but I figured..."eh, i'll do it"
and i'm glad I did.
First off, we started talking about how each other's days were going. complaining about the weather. (a cold front just moved down here and we also have a tropical storm passing over us. It was LITERALLY JUST sunny and perfect and now feels like a wet ice age)
told her about how today was not a day a wanted to socialized. told her about me being an ambivert. she asked about what that was. explained it. she says she thinks she might be one too. then I chase framed her saying: "Are you just trying to have something in common with me?"
after that, the whole interaction was flirty.
I started trying to move things forward since they were going great.
got her to move with me. got her to comply with me.
I told her to come with me to a snack machine and I do this thing where I hand hold lead the girl to a destination.
basically, you want to take their hand while saying "come with me" and then start in the direction you want to go. Also, keep in mind that you want to let go of her hand before she lets your hand go. maybe turn it into a hand on lower back thing.
I use it mostly for leading girls to short distances.
Anyway, I did my hand hold lead thing...but I accidentally held too long and she pulled her hand away and said she doesn't really like holding hands.
while we were at the snack machines, I created a fun little us vs. the world frame when this guy was standing in front of us.
I am naturally a silly person so as we stood behind the guy I whispered to her (but still loud enough for the guy to hear): "okay, so after this guy buys his food, you and I are going to beat him up and take his food, okay? since you're taller, you hold him down...and I'll punch him a few times."
she started giggling and covering her face.
the guy turned his head and saw that I was obviously joking and he kinda laughed.

lead her back. Did not but any snacks...I was just testing to see if she'd go with me. Plus finding secluded areas around the campus to escalate is really hard.
We went back to the bench we were sitting at and continued to talk.
I deep dived a little but we were mostly flirting and talking about nonsense.
it got a little sexual on a few occasions. learned that this girl likes getting head. I did NOT think she was sexually active at all.
reason being: she was alright..she was cute and all but I had to FORCE myself to ignore this brown spot underneath her mouth. she also has a funny lisp. I kinda just assumed that guy's found her unattractive.
I guess they didn't care.

Anyway, she complied to listening to my commands like telling her to stand up.
she asked why. I told her I wanted to check her out because we were just talking about her getting compliments on her sexy legs all the time.
she even SPUN AROUND for me. voluntarily. I didn't even ask for her to do that.
she was asking me questions. actively trying to impress me sometimes.
The ONLY reason why I could not reason I could not escalate any further was because of us being on a bench.
We were both facing forward instead of toward each other, looking into each other's eyes.
I feel like I could've created more sexual tension and attraction this way.
I commanded her to look at me a few times with the excuse that we were going to have a staring contest but, her looking into my eyes didn't last long. It just wasn't right for this situation.
The ideal thing to do is to move a girl to a place where you can be facing each other but as I said...I could not think of any secluded places on campus like that. maybe the library but it was too far. AND she was waiting on a friend to come pick her up at that time.
I was close though. When it was time for me to leave I told her: "come here"
she said no and that she knew what was going to happen.
I insisted and said that I wasn't going to do what she thought I was going to do.
she complied and then realized I led and was about to kiss her. She stopped and said: "I knew it!"
then she was telling me "not yet" and "its too early".
I didn'y really care because I was proud of myself for getting that far. At least she likes me.
And not yet basically means: I'm not comfortable with you yet
or
we're moving too fast (which we weren't...we were sitting there for an hour and a half)
I know where I went wrong though.
I didn't deep dive enough. I kept conversation on the surface and flirted and was playful.
Everytime we got to a topic about her that I could've delved into, I stayed on it briefly and changed the subject. big mistake. GET THE GIRL TALKING.

Other than that, I didn't do many approaches due to me feeling very anti-social.
met one other girl but didn't take it too far.

today: could not meditate.
made NO APPROACHES. Felt anti-social..
Things will change.
I'm getting closer and closer. leveling up little by little.
that's all for now.
deuces.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Things are slowly starting to turn around.

Got back into approaching again. Not because I have to, but because I wanted to. Curiousity is essential for meeting girls and people in general.
Meditation is starting to get better again. My sex drive, or whatever, is starting to rise back to normal.
lol...last night I even had a very erotic dream about a hot teacher at one of my old schools.
I don't remember everyone I talked to so I'll post what I remember.
I've been meeting girls that I saw around campus last semester(but was too afraid to talk to)
1) Almost-same-birthday-as-mine-puerto-rican girl

I saw this girl walking around so many times...She looks a little like Kim Kardashian..
she was sitting outside the cafeteria at the outdoor tables. walked up, said: "I keep seeing you around here, you're so cute..who are you?
she smiled and told me her name, I told mine, shook her hand, and sat down...then we got to talking.
really connected with her. Also have a lot in common. She went to the same high school as me and I didn't even realize it.
she ended up having to go to class, so I walked with her and got her number. she told me she had a boyfriend, I said I didn't care, she laughed and gave it to me.
I'm probably not going to text though. my text game isn't that great.

2) caucasian-japanese mixed girl
this girl is so quirky and cute...she has a nice fashion sense too. Like the girl groups of Japanese music or girl bands of K-pop.
anyways, saw her rushing down some stairs and heading toward the parking lot.
I didn't consider approaching her but figured I should finally meet her today since I see her all the time.
said the same opener as the puerto rican girl, had a short conversation, she was in a rush, I let her go.
If I see her again, I'll see what I can do.

3) girl-with-orbiter-guy-friend
apparently I've seen this girl around before but I didn't pay any attention to her until now. She told me that she sees me everywhere and that I know some of her friends, and I've made eye contact with her before. she sounded like she had a mini crush on me or something...especially from how she responded to me opening.
she is a thin black girl with green hair...that's right. GREEN HAIR. and she was dressed nicely. which grabbed my attention.
saw her walking far in front of me. checking out dat ass. then she parked herself outside the cafeteria.
walked up like I was about to go inside the cafeteris but then opened her like I just noticed her.
had a little conversation, connected, got to know her. then her guy friend that was standing a few feet away talking to another person came over noticing that I was talking to her.
The way he walked up looked like he was threatened by me. lol.
I introduced myself to him, small talk. then they had to go.
she told me he was just a friend so I'm guessing he's just an orbiter trying to be with her.
She seemed to really like me...and she's cute so if I see her again...I'm going to get her number.

4)french girl
I approached her out of curiousity more than attraction.
she had a cool necklace on. went in, complimented it, asked about it.
noticed she had an accent. She's from France, just moved here.
me: "parle-vous francais?"
her: 'yea, je m'appelle Camille"
me: "oh je m'appelle Wes"
her: you speak french?
me: only a little.

lol lied and told her I was haitian. Sometimes, I stretch the truth to make things sound more interesting or to connect with somebody. normally I wouldn't do this but, as I'm learning from my friends, they sometimes B.s. their ways through conversations so that they don't get "other-ed"
My brother has so many latino/latina friends because he's told people that he's part puerto-rican.
I even told the puerto rican chick that some of my family was from Israel...which the truth is...My grandpa grew up going to synagogues, despite not being Jewish...

Anyway,
ended up letting her go.

I'm getting back into the swing of things so hopefully I can bring some progress soon and not the same old approach after approach.
I'm also building sexual tension more often (not today) and keep getting moments where I should kiss the girl.
One day I'm going to get so sick of missing opportunities like that that i'm going to have no choice but to do it.
That's how I started consistently approaching...I got tired of seeing attractive girls pass me by, just for me to never say anything and then they end up taken, married, or pregnant.

ALSO, while meditating...I had an epiphany to how I'm creating sexual tension. Extra insight into it.
the VIBE that you give off is HOW YOU FEEL INSIDE.
so, whenever I FEEL sexy, I give off that vibe, and girls can feel it.
usually I give off a FUN vibe when I first meet someone.
that's because on the inside, I'm having fun.
I'm better able to create sexual tension when I'm dressed nice and I feel sexy. when I wear big shirts...not so much progress.
but everytime I wear one of my very few fitted shirts that show off my chest and arms...I feel sexier.
Feel sexy to create a sexual vibe.
I don't think that you can create it if you feel unconfident and hate yourself.

that's all for now.
deuces.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Saturday

I did not expect this to happen. A friend of my brother and I was having her sweet 16 and we were invited to that. I found out last minute but I went with my brother and his friend Gio anyway.
The party had a DJ and a bunch of high schoolers from my old highschool. Most of them were all Sophomores. A few Juniors. And then My brother, Gio, and I being the only 18+ people there aside from the parents.
I can't say that I found any of the girls attractive because they all looked like innocent little children who just so happened to go through puberty. haha.
It also showed me how much i've grown now...I actually felt like a man while being there.
Recently I even refer to myself as a man and my peers as women and men...when, in the past, I called myself a boy and my peers boys and girls.
I actually starting to view myself as more matured instead of just being more matured.

Anyway, My brother, Gio and I were of course, the life of the party (as well as the obvious "popular kids" from the school that were there.)
It was really cool. The popular kids were looking up to us and were shaking our hands and fist pounding us. It almost felt "kiss-assy" in a way.
I guess since we were so high on the social ladder, we had pre-selection working for us.
People kept trying to get to know me, asking me questions, approaching me.
One thing that was annoying was the kids that (for some reason) were intimidated by me. I thought I looked friendly but I guess I was intimidating.
Some kid came up to me and tried to introduce himself. He gave me dap because I guess since I'm black, that's how he thinks he has to approach me. then he says something that I couldn't hear because of the music being loud. I say: what?
and he completely withdraws and starts apologizing like I'm going to kick his ass or something.
I told him I couldn't hear what he said. He told me that he said a black joke and started apologizing thinking he offended me.
A lot of these kids way of approaching me was pointing out the fact that my brother and I are black and our friend Gio is hispanic.
It got annoying so I started being silly with it and started saying: "I was actually born white, but I eat tons of chocolate everyday to get my skin like this"
they laugh at this and just like that...they stop "othering" me.
(the party was on the westside which I believe is the redneck/country-ish side of town)
the dancing was a lot like it is at clubs. the popular kids were all gathered in a huddle bumping and grinding near the front where the Dj was, while the other kids stood around awkwardly and tried their best to have a good time.
WE stood back...and got DOWN...having a good time.
Gio does this thing where he spins downs to the ground, then lays down on the floor while fist bumping the floor and simaltaneously humps the ground.
I get down and start doing "the worm"
My brother is popping and locking and tutting.
All eyes were on us and people took notice of us.
My brother and Gio weren't having as good of a time as me though. These girls seemed to gravitate around me wanting to dance with me.
My bro and Gio kept sitting down and taking breaks. I'd just go off the floor, take a sip of a drink, and go right back on.
I was just doing my own thing, being in my head, creating my own fun bubble around myself. Sometimes, i'd just close my eyes and just dance and block out the world. When i open my eyes, there'd be girls around me, looking at me, trying to move in.
I stretched out my hand to an asian girl trying to dance with me, pulled her in, then she started grinding up on me.We were having a good time..then I exited. I didn't want to get too intense with an underage girl.
A little later on a fat girl tried to dance on me, I ended it.
and a few other girls, which I ended.
And finally, this really confident girl.
I stretched out my hand to her, pulled her in, she's grinding on me. then I take lead and start controlling her hip movements. I'm leading the whole time.
she has a cute body for a 15/16,17 year old.
my hands are on her thighs and very close to her pussy. I have her pulled in closer than I had the other girls...like, her ass was right up against my dick. the other girls, I kept some distance between us.
she was actually starting to turn me on. I raised her arms above her head while leading and then let her do what she wanted to me. She then started rotating her ass and rubbing up into me while i held her arms up. I'm sure she felt my boner appearing.
That was THE most sexual I have ever danced with a girl. It was great....too bad she may have been underage...so I didn't escalate. I could've made out with her.
I snapped back into reality and realized her friends were making a video of us while giggling. then they took a picture. This threw me off and then I exited.
why the hell are they taking pictures of us?

Not much else to say...the party was great. I had so much fun. I'm sure if I go to a club, I'll dominate. This was good practice.
I need to stop passing down opportunities to kiss. I'm sure that once I get it down consistently, i'll be a little closer to laying girls.

Anyway, I have one question. If anybody is lurking on here, i'd appreciate your insights.
How do you ease shy girls and get them to do something with/for you?
there was this one cute girl there that I wanted to dance with. She wasn't one of the "popular kids" and you could tell she was awkward and shy.
I tried to get her to dance with me because I saw her looking at me on the dancefloor. I stretched out my hand for her to take it and she refused.
I wanted to "teach" her some moves or comfort her but she didn't even want to give it a shot. I had no idea what to say.
She spent some of the time sitting down watching everybody else have fun because she was nervous.
Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
Actually a post on easing shy girls would be awesome.
My social status seemed so high that I intimidated some of these kids.
I could tell I was viewed as the "hot college boy" at the whole party.

that's all for now.
deuces.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
343
Location
Black man in the land of Japan
Wednesday. (let's see if I can remember this one.)

It was afternoon. I had just gotten out of class and walked straight to the library to complete my online assignments.
As I worked, I had my hand placed on the side of my face, cradling my head.
My eyes tilt upward and I notice two girls sliding into the aisle infront of me, as if they were trying to squeeze by people in a movie theater to find their seats. The girls leading has her eyes meet mine. I lock on until she directs her eyes away. She looked away and smiled. The girl and her friend take a seat at the open Mac computers in the aisle in front of me, two computers to the right.
I glance over in her direction. She is talking quietly to her friend and they are laughing. Her eyes meet mine again and then I slowly turn my eyes back toward my screen. I've gotta get this work done, no time for girls now. It's been this way for the past two days. I'd see opportunities and let them pass. My grades are slipping.
Then I realized. I know this girl.
Well, not KNOW know her, but she was in one of my classes last semester. She sat on the opposite side of the room next to the exit.
She was so cute. She was thin, had sandy blonde hair down to her shoulders, big blue eyes, and the slightest natural smile over her face. I thought, Scarlett Johannson, except with a face similar to Regina Spektor.
Just my type.
And she was interested in me.

About thirty minutes later, I finished my work, packed up my things and walked downstairs to look for my workout buddy, Sean.
I checked the cafeteria.
I checked the gym.
No where to be found.
His other hiding place is the library, where I had just come from. Maybe I should look behind the bookshelves where the secluded tables are.
I spun around and headed back up the stairs.
As I was coming up the last flight of stairs, the girl from earlier was faced in front of me going down.
Well, now's my chance...and my words spoke before I could even think.
"Hey, you were in my "Strategies for Success" class last semester..."
she locked eyes with me and smiled.
her: I don't remember...
me: doesn't matter, what's your name?
her: (she tells me her name)
me: I'm Wesley. (I shake her hand and continue holding it while we silently gaze into each other's eyes.)
me: you're cute.
(she smiles)
me: here, follow me, I'm looking for my friend. (I start walking towards the door she came out of, she follows me.)

We walk into the library and I search behind the rows and rows of bookshelves seaching for Sean.
Can't find him.
I can't help but think it might be weird for her to be following a guy not even talking to her.
me: I don't think he's here. I'll wait for him...let's go sit over there. (I find a seat at a secluded round table.)
She sits down. I sit down adjacent to her. She is smiling still and says she will work on some of her online work. She pulls out her laptop from her bag, opens it and looks at me, opening her mouth like she is about to speak.
me: "do you remember my name?"
her: (laughs) I was just about to ask you what your name was again.
me: aw, you forgot...haha..you have to guess.
her: aw really? haha...umm Daryl?
me: HA! not even close.
she tries a few more guesses and then playfully slaps my arm telling me to tell her.
I tell her.
her: ohhh...haha...my sister's ex boyfriend had that name.
me: oh really? What happened?
her: He was a douche...we don't speak his name here anymore (smiles)
me: (laugh) "we don't speak his name here anymore"
we laugh and talk a little about this and I delve into it a little.
then I ask what her name was.
She gives me this look as if she's up to something, like she's about to mess with me.
her: ohh you forgot? you have to guess. (mocking how I said it earlier)
me: Damn, what does it start with?
She holds her lips together and shake her head. "ah, ah, ah...not telling you. guess"
I guess a bunch of absurd names. Then I use the opportunity to move closer to her. Reaching for her bag to see if she has her name on it. Clicking the "start" button on her desktop of her "windows" laptop. Searching anyplace that she might have her name.
me: okay..just tell me...actually....(I pull out my phone) type it in here...along with your number.
She gives me this look that says "oh you're smoooth"
she takes my phone, puts in her number while smiling and says "Is this how you get girl's numbers?"
me: nope, just you ;)
I look at my phone after she hands it to me.
me: Kim?
her: mhm.
By this time our chairs are next to each other so I successfully closed the distance. Now, I need to build comfort and tension and attraction.
I test her comfort levels, asking her if I can see her hand. She hands it to me and I intertwine my fingers with hers. She has no problem with it and semi-sheepishly looks away.
We're talking about logistics. What side of town she lives on. The high school she graduated from.
I tell her I have no ride home and say: "you should take me home"
her: I would but I have to go to work.
I ask where she works.
her: "the loop"
me: the LOO?
her: (laughs) nooo.."the Loop"...at the beach.
me: ohh okay, I was about to say...1) why did you turn english all of a sudden and 2) why would you work in a bathroom
We start being playful and talking in english accents, saying funny phrases. Then I bring up her taking me home again.
me: you should take me home...
her: whyyy?
me: you do want to see me again right?
her: like here at school or outside of school?
me: whatever you want..you're suggesting outside of school...do you want to?
her: (bites her lip and has this really sexy expression on her face) hmm...yea..i'd like that.
her: where do you live?
I tell her close to the beach but not actually at the beach. I tell her the area.
her: that's not close! haha...i'd be going out of my way to go there.
me: really? haha so I guess i'm a "townie'" (what the beach people call the people who live inland) to you then?
her: yeaa...you're a 'townie'.
we go back and forth verbal sword-fighting while she's doing her Algebra on her computer.
She tries her best to keep up the conversation because I occasionally let it fade to create tension.
She gives in the social pressure and asks me questions and as always, I am difficult giving her answers and returning questions back. By this time we're sitting side by side with our knees touching. I'm at a slight angle so that I can face her.
I look at her screen. She has a 'combine like terms' type algebra problem with the variable beind "D". (oh this is just too easy)
I do the math in my head and then tell her the answer while she writing the math out on her paper.
me: 180 d cubed plus 36d squared plus 15 d minus 6....that's a lot of "D".
her: (she looks at me and smiles) you are sooo sexual.
me: no point in hiding it...i'm assuming you are too.
her: (she smiled and bit her lip while looking away sheepishly) we can't talk about that here.
me: that's what I like to hear.
throughout the conversation I reward her a few times by pulling her in and hugging her saying "it's okay" or "that's alright"
Giving her permission to be herself.
By this time...I really want to be locking lips with her. She tells me she has to finish up and go to work in a few minutes.
The conversation faded and wasn't really resurrecting. I searched my thoughts, vigorously looking for how I can close the deal. Though, on the outside, I looked calm.
Eventually, she got up and pushed in her chair, packed up her things.
I stood up as well and said that I should go find Sean.
We walked together down the stairs. silently.
her: you don't have to walk me to my car.
me: what? (mis-heard her)
her: you don't have to walk me to my car.
me: ohh, okay..I thought you said "you have to walk me to my car"...how demanding? haha
her: (she smiled..she stopped and turned to me.)
We hug
her: It was nice meeting you. (she starts to pull away and we're holding hands...our hands are outstretched still holding as she slips away slowly.)
I take her hand and pull her back in in a dominating way, as if we were salsa dancing. I pull her body into me and hold her waist as she rests her head on my chest.
She holds me a little longer this time. Then she backs away and turns around to walk, swaying her hips.
I check out her ass.
me: aww...you have a cute ass.
she turns her head and looks over her shoulder at me with a seductive expression. Her hair covering one eye, her smile slowly spreading.
her: Text me okay?
me: alright.
and she walks away.

Later on, when I got home, I sent her this text.
"Hey Kim, when do you get off of work?
-Wes"
no reply since I sent it on Wednesday.
It sucks to say this but...I miss her. I like her a little. Of course she can't know that I do.
I normally don't text any of the girls because I hate texting and I'm not the best at turning it into meetups but, I really want to see her again. I can tell we will have fun If we do.

things to work on:
-deep diving (I didn't learn that much about her..we were being playful and flirting most of the time)
- building sexual tension (again..I was getting lost in this whole "being playful" thing that I didn't switch gears)
- closing (this is the 4th time now that i've missed out on a makeout opportunity. I keep doubting myself.)

Time to re-read some of the blog posts.
Come on guys, stop lurking and share some of your personal experiences, advice, and guidance on where to go from here.
I actually want to see her again.
What do I text her?

that's all for now. deuces.
Wes.
 
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