Went out day gaming. I was a bit groggy this morning because neighbours had been partying with loud music until 3 AM. I did push-ups (I'm working on the
one hundred push ups program) in the morning, which should help get the testosterone flowing.
I watched a video about conversation skills in game. Unfortunately, I did not get to actually make use of those
Today was second day of Pentecost, which is a holiday. I knew some stores would be open, so I went into town. There were not that many
people out and about, which I had sort of expected. When I entered town I immediately saw a classy-looking Asian girl with big sunglasses. I thought "okay, let's talk to her and get this show on the road!". I approached her from the front, but due to the glasses, making eye contact was difficult. I bent down a bit to try making eye contact (note: I should *not* do that, that is like leaning in!), and I noticed a slight attempt to walk around me. She had in those stupid earbuds without cables, so I wasn't sure she could even hear me. Still, I opened her.
Zapp: Hi, can you hear me? (clumsy move, I know better than this! Next time, stand in front of her, smile and make the "taking out earbuds" movement)
Her: Yes (ok good, she isn't listening to music).
Zapp: Do you speak <my language>?
Her: No.
Zapp (continuing in English): OK, I saw you walking towards me here and I thought you looked cute, and I just wanted to tell you that (my usual opener which often works).
Her: Quizzed look on her face, like "get away from me, weirdo", starts to walk around me.
Zapp: You don't get guys approaching you often? (note: stupid line, I tend to say stupid shit like this when I notice a girl being weirded out)
Her: Oh, no thank you. *starts to walk away*
Zapp: No, you don't want to? (note: anoter retarded line...)
Zapp: Okay, then have a nice day!
Note: I think my voice might've been one pitch higher than usual (I have quite a deep voice when relaxed, so even then it should be low),
and I think I forgot to smile. As I walked away, I noticed some anxiety in my chest. I felt some muscle aches as well, and just all around wasn't too comfortable in my skin today. I chalk it up to the lack of sleep.
I did some deep breathing / meditation exercises while walking on. I did not see anyone worth approaching. At some point I did see a cute
asian girl (yeah, I have a type: foreign chicks) sitting down eating. I walked on and deliberated (grrr, stop doing that). Then I thought if I pussy out I will hate myself for it, so go. I turned to walk in the direction of the bench she was sitting at. I saw another girl sitting a few spaces next to her which I thought would be a bit awkward (note: stop caring what others think!), and then I thought it might be awkward for the girl too, as she was eating. So, I aborted the approach (something I don't think I've done before).
I walked on for a bit more. I think I may have seen one or two opportunities I passed up. I had set a goal to talk to five girls today (and if things went well, more). The weather was a bit warm even though the sun wasn't out all the time, and I got thirsty. I was all up in my head, so I decided that getting a drink and sitting down would be helpful. I sat down outside a coffee store and ordered a cold drink. I saw through the window a cute looking (but with a plain
face) woman eating brunch all by herself. I tried to make eye contact, but she did not. She was studying the menu and looking all around a little bit down, so decided she probably wasn't open.
A waitress came out and noticed a woman sitting in a corner where she could not see her from the inside, so she apologised to the woman, explaining that her view was blocked so she could not see her. I overheard and decided to make a little joke about hanging up a side view mirror. The serving girl laughed a bit and said that was smart, then continued to converse with the other woman. When she went back inside I tried to engage in small talk, but there was no vibe to speak of. I calmed down a bit and went to pay, with a final glance at the woman inside, still no eye contact. Fuck it, then I'm not going to approach. She had definitely seen me.
I continued walking around, and eventually at a traffic light I saw a cute girl. I waited on my end of the road and moved in front of her
path. I asked her something in English, then hesitated and asked if she spoke my language. No. She was already trying to walk around me, but I stayed put, just rotating my body towards her. As she was already walking away but looking over her shoulder at me, I said (with a proper smile this time) "I thought you looked cute and just wanted to tell you that". Her face lit up, she smiled and thanked me, but she still kept walking away from me and turned her head. Oh well.
I saw a girl walk in front of me with an stunning body. She had an amazing ass and super thin waist. Probably Polish, or at least Eastern European looking. She was walking next to a guy and their arms were incidentally touching. I cought myself staring and drooling in my mind over her. It's a bad way to go! Either approach or ignore. Do *not ever* stare and drool. That's giving my power away.
Finally, I saw another girl who passed me. She looked vaguely Indonesian or something. I ran after her, touched her on the shoulder (a classic side stop), and asked her if she spoke my language. Again, no. I said my line and she smiled. I extended my hand and asked her for her name. She complied by letting me take her hand and gave her name, but I saw an apologetic/regretful look on her face. She said "I'm sorry, I have to get to work" and started to turn away. I said "too bad. Have a nice day", and she wished me the same.
My counter was stuck at three approaches and I was getting a bit annoyed. I had already made several rounds of the city without much luck so I decided to call it quits and go home. On the way back I saw a girl with blonde hair who was a little too much on the fat side, but I looked her in the eye and I noticed she kept eye contact and as we almost passed eachother, she flashed me a really big smile. I arched my eye brow and had a smirk on my face. I did not find her attractive so I did not approach. It was still nice though.
Then I saw two girls (one attractive, one less so) who were making a selfie on a bridge. I walked over and said "would you like me to make a picture?" and the attractive one said "no, thanks, we've already got it", and they started to walk away, but I did hear them giggle a bit, which is good. I should've tried to stay in set by following up with something; they were obviously tourists, but they spoke my language. Maybe something as simple as "where are you guys from?". Even an indirect opener doesn't really need to be witty. Anyway, I made it to four "real" approaches, five if you count the opener with the waitress (I don't, my only intent was to get in a social mood).
Final notes:
- I've noticed before with Asians who did not grow up in the West that they are often intimidated or weirded out by the directness of my opener, possibly in combination with my body shape (I'm tall, thin yet somewhat muscular). But also, I need to remember to smile more warmly. I think that will help.
- Other girls tend to always really appreciate the compliment. Indian looking women often love the approach. I've had Eastern European girls look *unimpressed* or bored, even. What the hell. I'm not sure yet how to best dial it down so she will feel more at ease. Or perhaps I should just stick with the one style and use it as a filter for compatibility.
- I need to find time to practice day game when there are more people in town. Sundays and holidays are not great for this. On Saturdays I often need to unwind from the hard work week. In the evenings I have my sports, and after work I'm definitely not in a social mood nor very energetic.
- Some days will just suck if I'm not in a good head space, tired, etc. But I won't let that stop me. Need to get that approach counter up! Doing it as often as possible will make me more comfortable.
All in all, I'm happy I made it to four approaches, all things considering. Just a little disappointed, I really was looking forward to getting a good day in.