NewBeeWinner: From Rock Bottom to The Stars
- Thread starter NewBeeWinner
- Start date
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- Sep 7, 2018
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Thanks Marcellus! I really appreciate that 
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 11/24/2019 (Sunday):
Hey guys. Been over a week since I last updated, so here's an update (and there's a lot to update on).
Monday - I went to Starbucks at noon. Lots of cute girls and verified its a good time to go. But remember I had an assignment due (like within an hour) that I forgot about so I went to campus and did that instead before it was due that day.
Tuesday - went to Starbucks, Kohls, Steins mart - saw one woman at steins mart could've approached, but didn't. Girls at Starbucks were in big groups. Reminder that I need to work on opening groups (shotgun style).
Wednesday - I had a big paper to work on so I was at campus. I ended up talking with the cool natural guy I know for that time (and yes, by natural I mean with girls). I did get a girls number that I had talked with before that I know is into me. I went to set up a date, but she was busy for this weekend for upcoming holidays, so we'll plan a different day.
Thursday - worked on the big paper that was due today (ended up being 16 pages...bleh) but then a snow storm blew in. I had made plans to meet with an attractive girl I know that has a boyfriend (just casually for a bit. she hinted she wanted to so I took her up on it) on Friday. went to the church group and talked to a cute girl there - immediately deep dived and push-pulled saying I'd heard some stories about her (and she asked what kind of stories) but that I couldn't tell her for the sake of the people who told me - she said yeah, that'd be rude, huh (all bs but it communicated I can keep a secret). Good connection and she hooked, high fived at the end when she found out I was graduating a day ahead of her (ha!). Was going to get her # but the church leader made a bee line for me and cut me off before I could reengage her. Even my natural buddy that I had talked to on Wednesday made a comment about this to me afterward. The girl has been going to the church group a couple months (is always quiet and to herself) so I should see her again.
Friday - Snow day. Stayed inside at home.
Saturday - Went out with parents shopping - quite a couple women as always on the weekends. But then I went to a pre-thanksgiving party that a friend of my close buddy invited me to. I was expecting that my close buddy also got invited along with his girlfriend, but it was just me that was invited, so that was kind of cool that this new friend wanted to get to know me better. I met a whole bunch of new people - an entirely new social circle. So that was pretty cool. Hopefully will be invited out again.
Sunday - Honestly didn't do much today. But I have done a ton of thinking and figured out some things that I'll write on next in my Journal.
I also reached out to a girl I had written FRs on a ways back. We didn't end off on the right foot and I wanted to make things right. I maintained my frame the entire time to the end (telling her that when she was ready to act like an adult, she has my # and to have a good night). It was originally because I told her I wanted to be more than friends and that if that couldn't happen, I wouldn't have as much time for her (very very generally speaking - not exactly what I told her). Obviously, this wasn't the right way to say things and we took a break. Now I know the right way to do this is to say "Hey so I'm really wanting x. X is very important to me and since I cant have that with you, I need some space so I can make sure my needs are being met." NOT that you won't have time for someone (basically a rejection of that person or the friendship or whatever).
It was something that had been bothering me for a long time. So I'm glad I faced my fear and took action to correct things. Now things are on a much better standing that they were since I was able to correct my past mistake.
NBW
Hey guys. Been over a week since I last updated, so here's an update (and there's a lot to update on).
Monday - I went to Starbucks at noon. Lots of cute girls and verified its a good time to go. But remember I had an assignment due (like within an hour) that I forgot about so I went to campus and did that instead before it was due that day.
Tuesday - went to Starbucks, Kohls, Steins mart - saw one woman at steins mart could've approached, but didn't. Girls at Starbucks were in big groups. Reminder that I need to work on opening groups (shotgun style).
Wednesday - I had a big paper to work on so I was at campus. I ended up talking with the cool natural guy I know for that time (and yes, by natural I mean with girls). I did get a girls number that I had talked with before that I know is into me. I went to set up a date, but she was busy for this weekend for upcoming holidays, so we'll plan a different day.
Thursday - worked on the big paper that was due today (ended up being 16 pages...bleh) but then a snow storm blew in. I had made plans to meet with an attractive girl I know that has a boyfriend (just casually for a bit. she hinted she wanted to so I took her up on it) on Friday. went to the church group and talked to a cute girl there - immediately deep dived and push-pulled saying I'd heard some stories about her (and she asked what kind of stories) but that I couldn't tell her for the sake of the people who told me - she said yeah, that'd be rude, huh (all bs but it communicated I can keep a secret). Good connection and she hooked, high fived at the end when she found out I was graduating a day ahead of her (ha!). Was going to get her # but the church leader made a bee line for me and cut me off before I could reengage her. Even my natural buddy that I had talked to on Wednesday made a comment about this to me afterward. The girl has been going to the church group a couple months (is always quiet and to herself) so I should see her again.
Friday - Snow day. Stayed inside at home.
Saturday - Went out with parents shopping - quite a couple women as always on the weekends. But then I went to a pre-thanksgiving party that a friend of my close buddy invited me to. I was expecting that my close buddy also got invited along with his girlfriend, but it was just me that was invited, so that was kind of cool that this new friend wanted to get to know me better. I met a whole bunch of new people - an entirely new social circle. So that was pretty cool. Hopefully will be invited out again.
Sunday - Honestly didn't do much today. But I have done a ton of thinking and figured out some things that I'll write on next in my Journal.
I also reached out to a girl I had written FRs on a ways back. We didn't end off on the right foot and I wanted to make things right. I maintained my frame the entire time to the end (telling her that when she was ready to act like an adult, she has my # and to have a good night). It was originally because I told her I wanted to be more than friends and that if that couldn't happen, I wouldn't have as much time for her (very very generally speaking - not exactly what I told her). Obviously, this wasn't the right way to say things and we took a break. Now I know the right way to do this is to say "Hey so I'm really wanting x. X is very important to me and since I cant have that with you, I need some space so I can make sure my needs are being met." NOT that you won't have time for someone (basically a rejection of that person or the friendship or whatever).
It was something that had been bothering me for a long time. So I'm glad I faced my fear and took action to correct things. Now things are on a much better standing that they were since I was able to correct my past mistake.
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Thoughts on my Mind
Summary of Topics:
- self sabotage
- boundaries
- not enjoying porn
- negative people around me
- being "busy" vs "productive"
- not spending time with the right people
- saying "no" to things not towards my goals
- filling life with distractions
- re-evaluating goals
- challenging yourself with things that match your level
I find myself to be a victim of self-sabotage a lot of the time. I begin to change myself to be more like who I desire to be, but then get push back (from parents, friends, etc.) and revert to staying who I am. Lots of things go into this - but it's something that needs to change. I've been reading up a lot on this and I need to change my environment, self-talk, goals, setting boundaries, figuring out what I actually want, etc.
Along with this goes building boundaries. And I suck at this - especially with my parents. I need to know what I am willing to do and what I'm not - what my goals are and what they aren't and then saying NO to things that work against my goals or waste my time.
I also found this week that I really don't enjoy porn. Like it's all the same. And it doesn't change the fact that the girl on the screen IS NOT IN MY BED WITH ME RIGHT NOW. Its uninteresting and not stimulating to me. I want a real girl in my room with me. Fuck using my imagination - I deserve better.
I also realized I feel bad when I'm not busy - when I'm not doing something. However, I realized there's a difference between being busy and being productive. A big difference. If we're feeling bad because we're not being busy, something is wrong.
So am I spending time with the right people? Are the social circles I'm becoming a part of making me better and leading me towards my goals? Are my negative parents helping? I'm putting it in my plans to re-evaluate who I'm spending my time with.
And so I need to know what my goals are and say NO to everything else - unless it's to have fun.
Along with being busy, I found myself filling my life with distractions to keep me from doing the things I really needed to get done.
SO it's time to re-evaluate my goals and begin challenging myself with things that match my level - more on this in a second that I think is really relevant to GC, especially those at an intermediate level.
Summary of Topics:
- self sabotage
- boundaries
- not enjoying porn
- negative people around me
- being "busy" vs "productive"
- not spending time with the right people
- saying "no" to things not towards my goals
- filling life with distractions
- re-evaluating goals
- challenging yourself with things that match your level
I find myself to be a victim of self-sabotage a lot of the time. I begin to change myself to be more like who I desire to be, but then get push back (from parents, friends, etc.) and revert to staying who I am. Lots of things go into this - but it's something that needs to change. I've been reading up a lot on this and I need to change my environment, self-talk, goals, setting boundaries, figuring out what I actually want, etc.
Along with this goes building boundaries. And I suck at this - especially with my parents. I need to know what I am willing to do and what I'm not - what my goals are and what they aren't and then saying NO to things that work against my goals or waste my time.
I also found this week that I really don't enjoy porn. Like it's all the same. And it doesn't change the fact that the girl on the screen IS NOT IN MY BED WITH ME RIGHT NOW. Its uninteresting and not stimulating to me. I want a real girl in my room with me. Fuck using my imagination - I deserve better.
I also realized I feel bad when I'm not busy - when I'm not doing something. However, I realized there's a difference between being busy and being productive. A big difference. If we're feeling bad because we're not being busy, something is wrong.
So am I spending time with the right people? Are the social circles I'm becoming a part of making me better and leading me towards my goals? Are my negative parents helping? I'm putting it in my plans to re-evaluate who I'm spending my time with.
And so I need to know what my goals are and say NO to everything else - unless it's to have fun.
Along with being busy, I found myself filling my life with distractions to keep me from doing the things I really needed to get done.
SO it's time to re-evaluate my goals and begin challenging myself with things that match my level - more on this in a second that I think is really relevant to GC, especially those at an intermediate level.
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Here's a quick thought on what I ended off with.
I know guys go out in-field with a goal like this "approach 20 girls" or something really general like "be social". Now the second goal is fine if you need experience in different social situations - for the purpose of improving your social skills - not seduction ones.
But the issue with the first is - what if you find a girl you vibe with? This is where Chase's discussion on going out to practice vs. going on hard on a goal comes in. If you find a girl you vibe with, but your goal is to meet 15 more women that night, you're more likely to cut yourself short unless you can really change your mindset on a dime (which is hard to do!). And you're more likely to be surveying the venue for more girls you can approach, instead of focusing on the girl in front of you.
Plus, here's the kicker. This shouldn't be your goal if you're strong approaching and have gotten further in the seduction before. If you're beginning dealing with approach anxiety, then yes go for it. But your goal needs to match your level. Get to consistency but keep pushing yourself.
So what does that look like for a goal in a night out? Something like this:
I'm going to take a girl home tonight using plausible deniability. If I am not able to do this 5 times in a row tonight (i.e. you ask a woman home and she says no, so you approach and eventually ask another and she gets pulled away by friends, so you approach another, etc.), I will go home and re-evaluate what I am doing. Then you know your sticking point.
This is measurable, pushes yourself (using one new technique), and you know when you succeed (I took one girl home) and when you have failed (tried with 5 girls, all failed so I need to readjust). It causes you to focus hard on making things happen with ONE girl going AS FAR AS YOU CAN until you hit your sticking point and try again.
Rinse and repeat and this is how you maintain progress in your seduction skills. I always wondered why GC writers like Hector or Chase tell beginners to look back at their past 20 girl interactions whereas more advanced guys to look at their past 15 interactions or 10. This is because beginners need to focus on exposure (and they only get so far in the interaction at first, likely working on just getting past opening at the beginning), whereas more advanced seducers need to focus on consistency (i.e. knowing your sticking points and overcoming them) and finding what works for them (i.e. trying different techniques and seeing what works best for you).
So yes, more advanced seducers do still need to be meeting a lot of girls. But they really need to focus on getting as far as they can in the seduction with as many girls as possible consistently. Thus, (absolute) abundance mentality.
This was a more "aha" moment for me so I wanted to share. It's also relevant for me to making sure I'm challenging myself AT THE LEVEL I AM AT with MEASURABLE goals that give me a baseline for what I define as success and what I define as failure.
This is how I will be defining my goals from here on out.
Hope this helps those who get a chance to read!
NBW
I know guys go out in-field with a goal like this "approach 20 girls" or something really general like "be social". Now the second goal is fine if you need experience in different social situations - for the purpose of improving your social skills - not seduction ones.
But the issue with the first is - what if you find a girl you vibe with? This is where Chase's discussion on going out to practice vs. going on hard on a goal comes in. If you find a girl you vibe with, but your goal is to meet 15 more women that night, you're more likely to cut yourself short unless you can really change your mindset on a dime (which is hard to do!). And you're more likely to be surveying the venue for more girls you can approach, instead of focusing on the girl in front of you.
Plus, here's the kicker. This shouldn't be your goal if you're strong approaching and have gotten further in the seduction before. If you're beginning dealing with approach anxiety, then yes go for it. But your goal needs to match your level. Get to consistency but keep pushing yourself.
So what does that look like for a goal in a night out? Something like this:
I'm going to take a girl home tonight using plausible deniability. If I am not able to do this 5 times in a row tonight (i.e. you ask a woman home and she says no, so you approach and eventually ask another and she gets pulled away by friends, so you approach another, etc.), I will go home and re-evaluate what I am doing. Then you know your sticking point.
This is measurable, pushes yourself (using one new technique), and you know when you succeed (I took one girl home) and when you have failed (tried with 5 girls, all failed so I need to readjust). It causes you to focus hard on making things happen with ONE girl going AS FAR AS YOU CAN until you hit your sticking point and try again.
Rinse and repeat and this is how you maintain progress in your seduction skills. I always wondered why GC writers like Hector or Chase tell beginners to look back at their past 20 girl interactions whereas more advanced guys to look at their past 15 interactions or 10. This is because beginners need to focus on exposure (and they only get so far in the interaction at first, likely working on just getting past opening at the beginning), whereas more advanced seducers need to focus on consistency (i.e. knowing your sticking points and overcoming them) and finding what works for them (i.e. trying different techniques and seeing what works best for you).
So yes, more advanced seducers do still need to be meeting a lot of girls. But they really need to focus on getting as far as they can in the seduction with as many girls as possible consistently. Thus, (absolute) abundance mentality.
This was a more "aha" moment for me so I wanted to share. It's also relevant for me to making sure I'm challenging myself AT THE LEVEL I AM AT with MEASURABLE goals that give me a baseline for what I define as success and what I define as failure.
This is how I will be defining my goals from here on out.
Hope this helps those who get a chance to read!
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 12/1/2019:
Hey guys - for those in the US, hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Quick updates on this week.
It was super cold and we had some big winter storms this week. Ended up not really going out at all. Had a good Thanksgiving though - probably gained a ton of pounds. It was super busy in the stores for Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) deals and I got some shopping done with my folks. Had a couple fights with them, but overall a good week.
So I've decided to be serious about no fap and start rewarding myself to getting to certain days (5, 10, 20, 30, etc.) as positive enforcement. Will be gifting myself Hector's College book if I get far enough in no fap for a Christmas gift to myself. This way I can become more informed in on social circle style game and won't have a repeat of what happened in college down the line.
I've also started setting goals for myself. I know initially I desired a harem-style goal. That's still the case. But before I reach that, my goal is to have 100 lays by 25 - so in 3 years after my 22nd birthday. This equates to about 3-4 girls a month or about one a week as soon as I turn 22. Why 22? Because I've also firmly decided on moving to the new city away from my parents to get my own place. I'll have this set up done at the beginning of the new year and also my new job in place.
Using my most recent stats, assuming I can get 1 out of every 4 girls out on a solid date and 1 out of every 5 girls I take on a date I can get a lay from, I'll have to approach 20 girls a week to reach my goal of 100 lays in 3 years (at about one girl a week). Of course, this won't be exact (hopefully I'll reach it much sooner as I improve my process), but it's a good start.
Along this, I have a goal for financial independence at age 30, but that's separate from girl goals lol. I think my goal is realistic and totally doable, especially as I'll have my own place and school won't be sucking up so much time in the evenings for homework.
Oh, and only 19 more days until graduation! Still have tons of papers/assignments to do, but I'm almost there!
Hope everyone has a good week. Will update again this next week.
NBW
Hey guys - for those in the US, hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Quick updates on this week.
It was super cold and we had some big winter storms this week. Ended up not really going out at all. Had a good Thanksgiving though - probably gained a ton of pounds. It was super busy in the stores for Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) deals and I got some shopping done with my folks. Had a couple fights with them, but overall a good week.
So I've decided to be serious about no fap and start rewarding myself to getting to certain days (5, 10, 20, 30, etc.) as positive enforcement. Will be gifting myself Hector's College book if I get far enough in no fap for a Christmas gift to myself. This way I can become more informed in on social circle style game and won't have a repeat of what happened in college down the line.
I've also started setting goals for myself. I know initially I desired a harem-style goal. That's still the case. But before I reach that, my goal is to have 100 lays by 25 - so in 3 years after my 22nd birthday. This equates to about 3-4 girls a month or about one a week as soon as I turn 22. Why 22? Because I've also firmly decided on moving to the new city away from my parents to get my own place. I'll have this set up done at the beginning of the new year and also my new job in place.
Using my most recent stats, assuming I can get 1 out of every 4 girls out on a solid date and 1 out of every 5 girls I take on a date I can get a lay from, I'll have to approach 20 girls a week to reach my goal of 100 lays in 3 years (at about one girl a week). Of course, this won't be exact (hopefully I'll reach it much sooner as I improve my process), but it's a good start.
Along this, I have a goal for financial independence at age 30, but that's separate from girl goals lol. I think my goal is realistic and totally doable, especially as I'll have my own place and school won't be sucking up so much time in the evenings for homework.
Oh, and only 19 more days until graduation! Still have tons of papers/assignments to do, but I'm almost there!
Hope everyone has a good week. Will update again this next week.
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 12/5:
Hey guys. Currently at a week on no fap and am at a flat line - I get really horny but no excitement down below. Its weird but it'll pass.
Anyways, was at my church group today and planned to take a girls number from before but half way through us talking she suddenly exited the convo, kind of weird. She also gave me a half hug when she left, which I wasn't a fan of but figured its because of the group we are in.
So instead I got the number of a different girl whose body language shows she's interested, though she's hard to read verbally. Idk how it'll go with her being from the church group, but hey I got one lay from it so no harm no foul.
But I did notice a lot during our convo, I set frames constantly. Such as suggesting I am going to be moving soon, that I like my freedom, and that I'm not judgemental. Because of it being the church group, I'm not sure if she was totally reading the subtext but I'm going to assume attraction. Its amazing how naturally these things come out of me.
With another really cute girl in the group, I've teased her and touched her arm and stuff on high points but not much forward progress.
I do notice myself at school that man am I missing out on some good opportunities that I really can't capitalize on for my own safety of graduating. But I've also noticed I am SURROUNDED by girls who are married or have boyfriends. Literally almost every girl in my large social circle has a boyfriend or is married. The other girls I've tried to get with and they're focused heavily on school and not interested. I honestly think its going to be a good thing for me to move away.
I've been fixing my resume and am going to begin applying for a new job soon. I need to know my network and leverage those who live in the city I'm moving to.
Only a couple weeks till I graduate!
On a final note, Ive realized today something - I'm hungry for a solid approach to date to lay interaction. And no Im over car escalations and trying to go back to her place (especially if she doesn't have her own). Im desiring female physical interaction and quick escalation. I want to prove to myself that I can start getting lays. 2020 goals.
NBW
Hey guys. Currently at a week on no fap and am at a flat line - I get really horny but no excitement down below. Its weird but it'll pass.
Anyways, was at my church group today and planned to take a girls number from before but half way through us talking she suddenly exited the convo, kind of weird. She also gave me a half hug when she left, which I wasn't a fan of but figured its because of the group we are in.
So instead I got the number of a different girl whose body language shows she's interested, though she's hard to read verbally. Idk how it'll go with her being from the church group, but hey I got one lay from it so no harm no foul.
But I did notice a lot during our convo, I set frames constantly. Such as suggesting I am going to be moving soon, that I like my freedom, and that I'm not judgemental. Because of it being the church group, I'm not sure if she was totally reading the subtext but I'm going to assume attraction. Its amazing how naturally these things come out of me.
With another really cute girl in the group, I've teased her and touched her arm and stuff on high points but not much forward progress.
I do notice myself at school that man am I missing out on some good opportunities that I really can't capitalize on for my own safety of graduating. But I've also noticed I am SURROUNDED by girls who are married or have boyfriends. Literally almost every girl in my large social circle has a boyfriend or is married. The other girls I've tried to get with and they're focused heavily on school and not interested. I honestly think its going to be a good thing for me to move away.
I've been fixing my resume and am going to begin applying for a new job soon. I need to know my network and leverage those who live in the city I'm moving to.
Only a couple weeks till I graduate!
On a final note, Ive realized today something - I'm hungry for a solid approach to date to lay interaction. And no Im over car escalations and trying to go back to her place (especially if she doesn't have her own). Im desiring female physical interaction and quick escalation. I want to prove to myself that I can start getting lays. 2020 goals.
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 12/9/2019:
Just a quick update. Friday went to a comedy show with a friend and ran into a coworker. Not many girls (was in a bar), so I just enjoyed myself. Then joined my dad at his work's Christmas party Saturday. Lots of attractive women, but my hands were kind of tied (being a work party..that's my dad's). Connected slightly with a few girls and had a solid conversation with some of the wives. But overall just enjoyed good few, won a Nintendo switch, and had a good time. Made some connections.
Still going strong on no fap (now 11 days in). I had something interesting happen at my internship today aka my last day . I work surrounded by three girls, two married and one with a boyfriend. In the past, I've uncontrollably negatively reacted to women who bring up their boyfriend or husband mostly through facial expressions. But after working on actively being happy for couples being in healthy relationships, once one of the girls who I didn't know was married until today (she never talked), I didn't negatively react towards and we actually got closer (after 3 months lol). It was interesting really. I'm glad I'm changing that part of myself to accept that it's OK these girls are married or in relationships - great for them (as long as it's going well. If not...well ya know).
I also got another girl's number at school, but it hasn't turned into much. Got it on Friday and she was gone skiing for the weekend. She hasn't responded to my texts since the weekend so who knows. Another girl from before I found out in person that her father had a stroke and so she's been super stressed out. I texted her a few days after hearing about it to see how shes doing and if she'd want to join me for a drink or something before finals, but haven't gotten a response (which I'm not that worried about tbh). Finally, the church girl who's number I took I haven't been able to set anything up with yet. I need to do that soon, before finals. I'll try after her next text back.
I've also decided on what job I'm going to apply for that fits me for this upcoming year and have looked a bit more at where I'll be moving. Resume is updated and I'm ready to start applying.
Honestly won't probably have too many updates this and next week on girls, except for maybe a date or two if I set up ones from these girls. This is due to finals and the like, so I'll see everyone before Christmas at the latest!
NBW
Just a quick update. Friday went to a comedy show with a friend and ran into a coworker. Not many girls (was in a bar), so I just enjoyed myself. Then joined my dad at his work's Christmas party Saturday. Lots of attractive women, but my hands were kind of tied (being a work party..that's my dad's). Connected slightly with a few girls and had a solid conversation with some of the wives. But overall just enjoyed good few, won a Nintendo switch, and had a good time. Made some connections.
Still going strong on no fap (now 11 days in). I had something interesting happen at my internship today aka my last day
. I work surrounded by three girls, two married and one with a boyfriend. In the past, I've uncontrollably negatively reacted to women who bring up their boyfriend or husband mostly through facial expressions. But after working on actively being happy for couples being in healthy relationships, once one of the girls who I didn't know was married until today (she never talked), I didn't negatively react towards and we actually got closer (after 3 months lol). It was interesting really. I'm glad I'm changing that part of myself to accept that it's OK these girls are married or in relationships - great for them (as long as it's going well. If not...well ya know). I also got another girl's number at school, but it hasn't turned into much. Got it on Friday and she was gone skiing for the weekend. She hasn't responded to my texts since the weekend so who knows. Another girl from before I found out in person that her father had a stroke and so she's been super stressed out. I texted her a few days after hearing about it to see how shes doing and if she'd want to join me for a drink or something before finals, but haven't gotten a response (which I'm not that worried about tbh). Finally, the church girl who's number I took I haven't been able to set anything up with yet. I need to do that soon, before finals. I'll try after her next text back.
I've also decided on what job I'm going to apply for that fits me for this upcoming year and have looked a bit more at where I'll be moving. Resume is updated and I'm ready to start applying.
Honestly won't probably have too many updates this and next week on girls, except for maybe a date or two if I set up ones from these girls. This is due to finals and the like, so I'll see everyone before Christmas at the latest!
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 12/12/19:
Hey guys. This is it. Im officially done with college after Tuesday next week. Then I'm going out, drinking, eating chicken wings, and hanging with buddies to celebrate.
My entire demeanor has been changing the closer I get. I'm much happier, motivated, and ready to fuck life in the ass and call it my bitch. I've decided to go with medical sales for my next job - pays great and keeps me interacting with people, which is good for seduction purposes. Also, I'll be joining Toastmasters, working on my presentation skills and voice more than ever.
I'm going to move to the new city and I'm so ready to begin bringing girls back to my own (in a way) place. No parents to bug me.
I've recently added kegel exercises and started to do intermittent fasting to my routine. Still going almost 15 days on no fap and I'm more relaxed and focused then ever. The cop involved in all my college drama gave me a ride today and even said it "you look super relaxed".
Now I'm training the girl who will take my spot at my current work. She's pretty attractive and my type of girl - but also just got married. But it gave me a solid picture of the type of girl I'm into as girlfriend material.
Also a reminder that I need to get more single girls around me. The new city with demographics of way more girls around my age is the perfect place to start.
I'm going to go out tomorrow when I'm not working and cold approach. The goal is to say fuck phone numbers, lets go back to your place. If not, let's escalate as far as I can in a hidden but easily accessible public space. Im not for setting up dates right now - I just want to go as far as I can go.
With this, I've realized what points I've been slow at in seduction and I'm changing that.
Cheers to tomorrow and a great weekend,
NBW
Hey guys. This is it. Im officially done with college after Tuesday next week. Then I'm going out, drinking, eating chicken wings, and hanging with buddies to celebrate.
My entire demeanor has been changing the closer I get. I'm much happier, motivated, and ready to fuck life in the ass and call it my bitch. I've decided to go with medical sales for my next job - pays great and keeps me interacting with people, which is good for seduction purposes. Also, I'll be joining Toastmasters, working on my presentation skills and voice more than ever.
I'm going to move to the new city and I'm so ready to begin bringing girls back to my own (in a way) place. No parents to bug me.
I've recently added kegel exercises and started to do intermittent fasting to my routine. Still going almost 15 days on no fap and I'm more relaxed and focused then ever. The cop involved in all my college drama gave me a ride today and even said it "you look super relaxed".
Now I'm training the girl who will take my spot at my current work. She's pretty attractive and my type of girl - but also just got married. But it gave me a solid picture of the type of girl I'm into as girlfriend material.
Also a reminder that I need to get more single girls around me. The new city with demographics of way more girls around my age is the perfect place to start.
I'm going to go out tomorrow when I'm not working and cold approach. The goal is to say fuck phone numbers, lets go back to your place. If not, let's escalate as far as I can in a hidden but easily accessible public space. Im not for setting up dates right now - I just want to go as far as I can go.
With this, I've realized what points I've been slow at in seduction and I'm changing that.
Cheers to tomorrow and a great weekend,
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 12/27:
Hey guys, been a while. Hope all you in the US had a great christmas/holiday season!
Since I last posted, I graduated with my degree. Its been exactly one week since I walked across the stage. Stress has lessened a ton, but the holidays have also been hectic, so there's that.
A quick update on me:
- Ive contacted Toastmasters and plan to sit in to watch a meeting at the beginning of 2020
- I've voiced my career change to my family and parents
- I'm at 30 days of no fap (as of today)
- My nighttime routine now consists of:
1) rolling my body with a foam roller 2) meditating 3) saying what I'm grateful for 4) visualizing the conquest (more specifically, reimagining myself in past situations where I messed up and imagining myself do it right this time and the outcome of that, then applied to future interactions) 5) laying out my clothes for the morning 6) kegels 7) reverse-kegels
- I've been consistently practicing intermittent fasting every morning
- I've gotten back into taking cold showers
- I've grown a beard
- I've updated my resume and have been applying to jobs. My mom recently fought me a bit on this but I think we found something thatll work
- I've made a step-by-step plan for myself to accomplish my long and short term goals, to include financial and girl goals
Update with Girls:
I've noticed lately I've been a ton less needy. I've really realized that girls are great but man sex isn't everything. As I've decided to start my own business alongside my full time job, I've been way more consumed in that as I've had my goal of financial independence.
But don't worry guys, I'm not out of the game. Just now I have a purpose and goals.
I've found another blogger recently who just started who promotes both financial indepdenc and living a player lifestyle (finally!). So I've structured my future schedule so that I'll probably be doing more night/bar/online/social circle game in the near future.
In terms of girls right now, theres four options.
1) the girl I laid way back who I keep in touch with
2) a girl I got a # and yes to a date from during finals week (in one of my classes)
3) a tinder match who agreed to a date
4) an 18 year old I met on campus whos down for a date
I need to text #2-4 and set up a date for this weekend or sometime next week. With 2, she has her own place so the plan is to go back to hers. With the other 2, probably have to do a car escalation.
Its crazy. Like I want girls and sex and everything. And yes, my main goal right now is to still get my own place (I'm aiming for downtown now). But I'm not desperate like I was. I don't really care if girls text me back or not anymore. If they're cool and we vibe, sweet. Now when I get my place, ik I'll be much more aggressive in moving things forward, but for now with the holidays, I'm OK.
I'd still like to get laid right now, but logistics have been my biggest problem and my main focus right now is fixing that.
So until then,
Have a good holiday!
NBW
Hey guys, been a while. Hope all you in the US had a great christmas/holiday season!
Since I last posted, I graduated with my degree. Its been exactly one week since I walked across the stage. Stress has lessened a ton, but the holidays have also been hectic, so there's that.
A quick update on me:
- Ive contacted Toastmasters and plan to sit in to watch a meeting at the beginning of 2020
- I've voiced my career change to my family and parents
- I'm at 30 days of no fap (as of today)
- My nighttime routine now consists of:
1) rolling my body with a foam roller 2) meditating 3) saying what I'm grateful for 4) visualizing the conquest (more specifically, reimagining myself in past situations where I messed up and imagining myself do it right this time and the outcome of that, then applied to future interactions) 5) laying out my clothes for the morning 6) kegels 7) reverse-kegels
- I've been consistently practicing intermittent fasting every morning
- I've gotten back into taking cold showers
- I've grown a beard
- I've updated my resume and have been applying to jobs. My mom recently fought me a bit on this but I think we found something thatll work
- I've made a step-by-step plan for myself to accomplish my long and short term goals, to include financial and girl goals
Update with Girls:
I've noticed lately I've been a ton less needy. I've really realized that girls are great but man sex isn't everything. As I've decided to start my own business alongside my full time job, I've been way more consumed in that as I've had my goal of financial independence.
But don't worry guys, I'm not out of the game. Just now I have a purpose and goals.
I've found another blogger recently who just started who promotes both financial indepdenc and living a player lifestyle (finally!). So I've structured my future schedule so that I'll probably be doing more night/bar/online/social circle game in the near future.
In terms of girls right now, theres four options.
1) the girl I laid way back who I keep in touch with
2) a girl I got a # and yes to a date from during finals week (in one of my classes)
3) a tinder match who agreed to a date
4) an 18 year old I met on campus whos down for a date
I need to text #2-4 and set up a date for this weekend or sometime next week. With 2, she has her own place so the plan is to go back to hers. With the other 2, probably have to do a car escalation.
Its crazy. Like I want girls and sex and everything. And yes, my main goal right now is to still get my own place (I'm aiming for downtown now). But I'm not desperate like I was. I don't really care if girls text me back or not anymore. If they're cool and we vibe, sweet. Now when I get my place, ik I'll be much more aggressive in moving things forward, but for now with the holidays, I'm OK.
I'd still like to get laid right now, but logistics have been my biggest problem and my main focus right now is fixing that.
So until then,
Have a good holiday!
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Hey guys,
Just some quick thoughts. I was getting bored the other day since I'm kind of stuck waiting on getting a job before I can really move out. So I was looking into some new hobbies I could possibly pick up but none of them really interested me. That's when I realized - I need to make my own challenges. Just like having sex with 100 women is a challenge to yourself, so I need to make more challenges for myself (and reward myself when I complete them).
So I've challenged myself to build my own social circle (of people I picked - not centered around something like classes). My closest friend is good at building social circles (he adopted his girlfriends social circle, had a work social circle, and a couple social circles around his interests, like cars). But I generally lack social circles as I generally prefer going out alone (especially to meet women).
But I thought I'd challenge myself and see what I can come up with. It'll raise my value a bit and open up some new lines of girls that I can hopefully tap into in the future outside of day/night game adventures.
NBW
Just some quick thoughts. I was getting bored the other day since I'm kind of stuck waiting on getting a job before I can really move out. So I was looking into some new hobbies I could possibly pick up but none of them really interested me. That's when I realized - I need to make my own challenges. Just like having sex with 100 women is a challenge to yourself, so I need to make more challenges for myself (and reward myself when I complete them).
So I've challenged myself to build my own social circle (of people I picked - not centered around something like classes). My closest friend is good at building social circles (he adopted his girlfriends social circle, had a work social circle, and a couple social circles around his interests, like cars). But I generally lack social circles as I generally prefer going out alone (especially to meet women).
But I thought I'd challenge myself and see what I can come up with. It'll raise my value a bit and open up some new lines of girls that I can hopefully tap into in the future outside of day/night game adventures.
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 1/2/20:
Hey guys. Since I havent gotten a new job yet, Im just stuck at my parents place. Ive also accomplished every thing I can accomplish while Ive been here. All my goals are now dependent on me having my own place.
So Ive decided to give myself the OK to get back into cold approaching. Starting tomorrow, Im getting back into it. The mall, bookstore, dog park, shopping stores, etc. here I come!
Ive gotten tired of only having the four girls on my list. I want more options.
Of the four, the one Ive laid has been on-and-off lately, but now shes getting her own place so thatll help.
One girl I was planning on going out with today dropped off the face of the earth and I havent heard from her.
The tinder girl I kind of put off so I reached out to her to set something up.
The fourth I have date plans for Saturday (todays Thursday). We're meeting at 4 because I have a party to go to (and bartend at) at 8. The plan is a car escalation.
Im going to just accept that Ive done everything I can in these past few weeks and now Im just waiting. So car escalations and going back to hers. My bread and butter.
Will update on outings tomorrow.
NBW
Hey guys. Since I havent gotten a new job yet, Im just stuck at my parents place. Ive also accomplished every thing I can accomplish while Ive been here. All my goals are now dependent on me having my own place.
So Ive decided to give myself the OK to get back into cold approaching. Starting tomorrow, Im getting back into it. The mall, bookstore, dog park, shopping stores, etc. here I come!
Ive gotten tired of only having the four girls on my list. I want more options.
Of the four, the one Ive laid has been on-and-off lately, but now shes getting her own place so thatll help.
One girl I was planning on going out with today dropped off the face of the earth and I havent heard from her.
The tinder girl I kind of put off so I reached out to her to set something up.
The fourth I have date plans for Saturday (todays Thursday). We're meeting at 4 because I have a party to go to (and bartend at) at 8. The plan is a car escalation.
Im going to just accept that Ive done everything I can in these past few weeks and now Im just waiting. So car escalations and going back to hers. My bread and butter.
Will update on outings tomorrow.
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 1/10/2020:
Hey guys. So Ive officially been working on my business and doing all the things Ive said Ive done for morning and nightly routines. Also repicked up learning Japanese.
Currently day 43 nofap and in deadline, which is kind of freaky. Still unemployed and have been sending out resumes every day.
I think Ive realized something though. I want to get my shit together. This means having my own place at the moment.
So Im putting girls on hold. I just cant do approaches without being envious because I cant bring them home with me to have sex. I just get in a negative headspace anymore because this is my biggest sticking point (logistics).
So right now my main goals are to: get a job, build up my business, get back into working out, and get a place. My own place.
THEN I will get back into the game.
I know this is what I have to do and trust me guys, it eats at me as much as you. I want the sex, the relationships, the fun. But I dont even have the basics fully down. Im putting the cart before the horse.
So hopefully next you guys hear from me, I'll be way better of than I am now financially, with my purpose, and logistically.
I'll keep up to date on GC and plan on still socializing - just not making girls a priority. At all. For now.
Thank you all,
NBW
Hey guys. So Ive officially been working on my business and doing all the things Ive said Ive done for morning and nightly routines. Also repicked up learning Japanese.
Currently day 43 nofap and in deadline, which is kind of freaky. Still unemployed and have been sending out resumes every day.
I think Ive realized something though. I want to get my shit together. This means having my own place at the moment.
So Im putting girls on hold. I just cant do approaches without being envious because I cant bring them home with me to have sex. I just get in a negative headspace anymore because this is my biggest sticking point (logistics).
So right now my main goals are to: get a job, build up my business, get back into working out, and get a place. My own place.
THEN I will get back into the game.
I know this is what I have to do and trust me guys, it eats at me as much as you. I want the sex, the relationships, the fun. But I dont even have the basics fully down. Im putting the cart before the horse.
So hopefully next you guys hear from me, I'll be way better of than I am now financially, with my purpose, and logistically.
I'll keep up to date on GC and plan on still socializing - just not making girls a priority. At all. For now.
Thank you all,
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 1/19/20:
Hey guys. A quick update then I wanted to put down some insights related to social circle and being social in general.
Im on day 53 of nofap. My limbido is returning and Ive decided to fully quit 5 things: masturbation (nofap), porn, sexting, social media, and fantasizing. Im already doing 2/5. Im quitting my social media accounts (not deleting, but temporarily disabling). Im going to try to be more serious about being private (which I need to work on). Ive decided sexting and fantasizing are fun, but empty. They cant replace actually having a girl physically with you.
Ive also decided to pickup martial arts again and am going to go to two latin dance classes this week. Ive also decided on joining Toastmasters after visiting a meeting.
Still job hunting and working on finding my own place.
Now for my two insights.
1) My closest friend has invited me to partys on several occasions and Ive gone. But Ive realized something: its usually the same people AND its overwhelmingly couples (married and/or dating). For a guy like me wanting to maybe get a hookup from a party, its not the best environment. So besides the alcohol (which Im cutting back on) and slight status boost within the group interacting with the same people, theres not an immediate benefit to going in terms of dating and women. So Ive realized, like it says on GC, the best thing to do is to make your own partys. At least then you can have an ample amount of SINGLE women and SINGLE men who can possibly gain something besides alcohol and a good time.
2) Ive been expanding my social circle at the church group (btw the girl I laid from there went "crazy" and long story short I had to cut her out of my life). Anyways, although there are new women there I definitely want to meet, Ive also grown closer to some of the guys there. I went out with one guy I recently met today, one-on-one, and joined him for coffee. I quickly realized he wasnt as socially adapt as I thought. High-level social functioning, such as being aware of the give-and-take in your relationships and who you spend your time with made no sense to him. He mustve never had to establish boundaries with someone or had someone be a drain on him in terms of value (which Ive recently experienced). In other harsh words, he is acting from a place of low value, whether he is aware of it or not.
Just made me realize how people who are low value socially dont usually realize their social value in comparison to others. They dont realize what they offer or take from a friendship and they dont realize their value. Now, Im only just now beginning to really understand these things, so Im no expert, but it was amazing to see these concepts playing a role in my immediate life.
I myself am working on being more humble, aka matching my attainability to my value.
But Im excited to see the progress and look forward to seeing whats next.
NBW
Hey guys. A quick update then I wanted to put down some insights related to social circle and being social in general.
Im on day 53 of nofap. My limbido is returning and Ive decided to fully quit 5 things: masturbation (nofap), porn, sexting, social media, and fantasizing. Im already doing 2/5. Im quitting my social media accounts (not deleting, but temporarily disabling). Im going to try to be more serious about being private (which I need to work on). Ive decided sexting and fantasizing are fun, but empty. They cant replace actually having a girl physically with you.
Ive also decided to pickup martial arts again and am going to go to two latin dance classes this week. Ive also decided on joining Toastmasters after visiting a meeting.
Still job hunting and working on finding my own place.
Now for my two insights.
1) My closest friend has invited me to partys on several occasions and Ive gone. But Ive realized something: its usually the same people AND its overwhelmingly couples (married and/or dating). For a guy like me wanting to maybe get a hookup from a party, its not the best environment. So besides the alcohol (which Im cutting back on) and slight status boost within the group interacting with the same people, theres not an immediate benefit to going in terms of dating and women. So Ive realized, like it says on GC, the best thing to do is to make your own partys. At least then you can have an ample amount of SINGLE women and SINGLE men who can possibly gain something besides alcohol and a good time.
2) Ive been expanding my social circle at the church group (btw the girl I laid from there went "crazy" and long story short I had to cut her out of my life). Anyways, although there are new women there I definitely want to meet, Ive also grown closer to some of the guys there. I went out with one guy I recently met today, one-on-one, and joined him for coffee. I quickly realized he wasnt as socially adapt as I thought. High-level social functioning, such as being aware of the give-and-take in your relationships and who you spend your time with made no sense to him. He mustve never had to establish boundaries with someone or had someone be a drain on him in terms of value (which Ive recently experienced). In other harsh words, he is acting from a place of low value, whether he is aware of it or not.
Just made me realize how people who are low value socially dont usually realize their social value in comparison to others. They dont realize what they offer or take from a friendship and they dont realize their value. Now, Im only just now beginning to really understand these things, so Im no expert, but it was amazing to see these concepts playing a role in my immediate life.
I myself am working on being more humble, aka matching my attainability to my value.
But Im excited to see the progress and look forward to seeing whats next.
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 2/16/2020:
Hey guys. Been about a month since my last post.
I'm still at my parents place as I haven't found a job that fits me yet. I've had to turn down a few jobs I've been offered AFTER passing the interviews (up to 3 consecutive interviews for one position) because they didn't tell me the full details on the pay, status, or benefits of the job until I've had to fill out paperwork. As a result, I've gotten better at understanding exactly what jobs I am looking for. My resume is also way better now than what it was. I'm learning getting a job is like finding the right woman to date (as a LTR). Lol
I'm a week clean on nofap. I relapsed after my 18 year old dog passed and I had turned down another job I was initially really excited about. Wasn't in the best head space and I've luckily come out of that since then. Also learned how to better manage my stress as a result of relapse.
I've learned three big things in the month I've taken.
1) A lot of the girls I've had issues with in the past were girls with warning signs - girls with dyed hair, unusual piercings, plenty of tattoos, past abuse, or at least one of the warning signs Chase has mentioned on GC. Sadly for me, girls with dyed hair, unusual piercings, and tattoos are a turn-on. But I've realized it wasn't for my benefit. So I've begun to notice these women and screen them out.
2) Another point on screening women. I've read a guide from GC on online dating (you get it as a result of buying One Date as a bonus). One thing that stands out to me is the pure amount of screening the guide writer does. I'm beginning to understanding how much this is important for not just getting the right girl but also for your own effective use of time and safety. I've realized screening women is a safety tool - one to ensure you end up with women you'll like and be happy with, but also one to ensure that women won't stab you in the back if you look at her wrong.
I used to let women pass my screens more easily when I was mass approaching (and got up to over 200 phone numbers) because I was wanting sex. But I've realized how to not be desperate by taking time away from women (it really changes your focus) and instead having something greater than myself to focus on (my business, financial goals, and life goals). Also how important it is to screen the wrong women out over the right women in (just as Chase has said - I'm just now living it).
Women want to date up the social ladder. If you're chasing pussy, you're doing it wrong.
3) I'm learning I value privacy. I don't want to walk into a store and be a known face. I want to be anonymous. I don't want to tell my friends about the dates I go on or the girls I meet. I don't want people in my family to know I'm starting up a business or how I spend my money. I don't want to be asked "what are you doing" by my mom for the fifth time in 20 seconds being on my laptop. I've worked a bit on this by FINALLY got completely off social media. No longer on FB or instagram (haven't been on SC for a long time and never had a twitter). And you know what? I'm totally fine. I don't want people being able to look up my name on social media. Life is easier when you don't have to maintain a digital image of yourself for others.
I've also decided to go further with GC once I get a job in terms of a course (the Dating Artisan) so I can really level up my game. I've realized it is worth the cost for the value you get. In the future, I'm not going to be doing Day Game as much (not where I currently live anyways - I'd need to be in a bigger city or more trendy part near downtown where I can walk the street). So I'll be switching to night game, social circle, online dating, and other methods of meeting women. It's just more socially acceptable (so I'm not getting a rep at the stores I frequent) and are just as much valid ways to meet women while I can still focus on my purpose (my business and financial and social life) during the day hours.
I'm looking forward to growing in this area even more with the GC community.
Here's to a life of abundance~
NBW
Hey guys. Been about a month since my last post.
I'm still at my parents place as I haven't found a job that fits me yet. I've had to turn down a few jobs I've been offered AFTER passing the interviews (up to 3 consecutive interviews for one position) because they didn't tell me the full details on the pay, status, or benefits of the job until I've had to fill out paperwork. As a result, I've gotten better at understanding exactly what jobs I am looking for. My resume is also way better now than what it was. I'm learning getting a job is like finding the right woman to date (as a LTR). Lol
I'm a week clean on nofap. I relapsed after my 18 year old dog passed and I had turned down another job I was initially really excited about. Wasn't in the best head space and I've luckily come out of that since then. Also learned how to better manage my stress as a result of relapse.
I've learned three big things in the month I've taken.
1) A lot of the girls I've had issues with in the past were girls with warning signs - girls with dyed hair, unusual piercings, plenty of tattoos, past abuse, or at least one of the warning signs Chase has mentioned on GC. Sadly for me, girls with dyed hair, unusual piercings, and tattoos are a turn-on. But I've realized it wasn't for my benefit. So I've begun to notice these women and screen them out.
2) Another point on screening women. I've read a guide from GC on online dating (you get it as a result of buying One Date as a bonus). One thing that stands out to me is the pure amount of screening the guide writer does. I'm beginning to understanding how much this is important for not just getting the right girl but also for your own effective use of time and safety. I've realized screening women is a safety tool - one to ensure you end up with women you'll like and be happy with, but also one to ensure that women won't stab you in the back if you look at her wrong.
I used to let women pass my screens more easily when I was mass approaching (and got up to over 200 phone numbers) because I was wanting sex. But I've realized how to not be desperate by taking time away from women (it really changes your focus) and instead having something greater than myself to focus on (my business, financial goals, and life goals). Also how important it is to screen the wrong women out over the right women in (just as Chase has said - I'm just now living it).
Women want to date up the social ladder. If you're chasing pussy, you're doing it wrong.
3) I'm learning I value privacy. I don't want to walk into a store and be a known face. I want to be anonymous. I don't want to tell my friends about the dates I go on or the girls I meet. I don't want people in my family to know I'm starting up a business or how I spend my money. I don't want to be asked "what are you doing" by my mom for the fifth time in 20 seconds being on my laptop. I've worked a bit on this by FINALLY got completely off social media. No longer on FB or instagram (haven't been on SC for a long time and never had a twitter). And you know what? I'm totally fine. I don't want people being able to look up my name on social media. Life is easier when you don't have to maintain a digital image of yourself for others.
I've also decided to go further with GC once I get a job in terms of a course (the Dating Artisan) so I can really level up my game. I've realized it is worth the cost for the value you get. In the future, I'm not going to be doing Day Game as much (not where I currently live anyways - I'd need to be in a bigger city or more trendy part near downtown where I can walk the street). So I'll be switching to night game, social circle, online dating, and other methods of meeting women. It's just more socially acceptable (so I'm not getting a rep at the stores I frequent) and are just as much valid ways to meet women while I can still focus on my purpose (my business and financial and social life) during the day hours.
I'm looking forward to growing in this area even more with the GC community.
Here's to a life of abundance~
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 2/27/2020:
Hey guys figured I'd post again as I've thought through some things.
First of all, I purchased a coaching course on quitting porn and the like for good. The coaching has been great and has taught me many new tools around handling my emotions, processing them, and valuing my self-worth while doing habit replacement and preventative measures. I'm still only a week into it, but they have helped a ton and I don't regret the purchase at all. It's building new skills within myself to truly feel my value and build the emotional tools that I didn't have at all before.
As a result of the coaching, I've been slowly rewiring the way I motivate myself and view my mistakes from the past. It's made a big difference in my energy, focus, and self-care.
Additionally, I have planned out the systems I'm going to slowly add to my life to get me to where I want to be as I make progress on this quitting porn journey. This includes things like learning salsa (which I love btw), doing toastmasters, getting back into martial arts, and growing my business. Not all at once, of course, but spread out over this year.
I've also been reflecting a ton on where I went wrong in my past with women that got me into trouble. I've also figured out how to remedy it. I've realized that you can fit women into your life in a way that works for you. For me and where I am located on this earth, that means I can best meet women with online dating, social circle, and night game. Not going out to the store to meet women like I was doing before. And although I can certainly still meet women that way, there's better ways to do it.
Around this, I've built some rules for myself about how I'm operating with my dating life.
1) Only being somewhere with a purpose. This means (for me) not going to stores, the mall, or the dog park. Because I don't have anything to buy there nor a dog to take there. But, instead, I can do things like go on hikes to build my photography portfolio (my purpose of being there) and then meeting women as they come (not making them my main focus of being there).
This is a HUGE rule for me. I've gotten in most of the trouble I've been in because I was making women my first priority and not doing this.
2) Being transparent and not lying. For women, this means handling expectations better (something I failed to do in the past), screening women hard (so no previously abused, heavily tattooed, or broken girls), and really building up my value and attainability.
3) Not lowering someone's worth to feel better. This is a bad habit I have at times that I'm working through with coaching.
4) Being mindful of social implications. So always keeping in mind my environment and how my approach and talking appears to others. Also how it affects the seduction and my reputation.
5) Not blabing about my sexual conquests. This is something I've slowly gotten better with when talking to the guys, but something I really need to clinch down on.
and finally....
6) I will leave her better than I found her. (yes, I am stealing this one) There's definitely been girls that I haven't done this with. So this is something I really want to understand better and make a part of my seduction.
I've figured out that I was taking the advice I knew and understood from GC in the past to an extreme. And then I wasn't able to deal with the emotions around that properly (like I'm learning to do now). I can accept that I was ill-equipped in my own understanding and can forgive myself for that. But now, I know how to do it the right way. It's just a matter of actually living it to really cement it in my being.
Hopefully this helped some people on here dealing with some of the same things. Don't do what I did. Listen to the GC team and pay especially close attention to their warnings and the small caveats of seducing. They matter.
Will update again in a month or once I get my job and move out. Whatever comes first.
Till then,
NBW
Hey guys figured I'd post again as I've thought through some things.
First of all, I purchased a coaching course on quitting porn and the like for good. The coaching has been great and has taught me many new tools around handling my emotions, processing them, and valuing my self-worth while doing habit replacement and preventative measures. I'm still only a week into it, but they have helped a ton and I don't regret the purchase at all. It's building new skills within myself to truly feel my value and build the emotional tools that I didn't have at all before.
As a result of the coaching, I've been slowly rewiring the way I motivate myself and view my mistakes from the past. It's made a big difference in my energy, focus, and self-care.
Additionally, I have planned out the systems I'm going to slowly add to my life to get me to where I want to be as I make progress on this quitting porn journey. This includes things like learning salsa (which I love btw), doing toastmasters, getting back into martial arts, and growing my business. Not all at once, of course, but spread out over this year.
I've also been reflecting a ton on where I went wrong in my past with women that got me into trouble. I've also figured out how to remedy it. I've realized that you can fit women into your life in a way that works for you. For me and where I am located on this earth, that means I can best meet women with online dating, social circle, and night game. Not going out to the store to meet women like I was doing before. And although I can certainly still meet women that way, there's better ways to do it.
Around this, I've built some rules for myself about how I'm operating with my dating life.
1) Only being somewhere with a purpose. This means (for me) not going to stores, the mall, or the dog park. Because I don't have anything to buy there nor a dog to take there. But, instead, I can do things like go on hikes to build my photography portfolio (my purpose of being there) and then meeting women as they come (not making them my main focus of being there).
This is a HUGE rule for me. I've gotten in most of the trouble I've been in because I was making women my first priority and not doing this.
2) Being transparent and not lying. For women, this means handling expectations better (something I failed to do in the past), screening women hard (so no previously abused, heavily tattooed, or broken girls), and really building up my value and attainability.
3) Not lowering someone's worth to feel better. This is a bad habit I have at times that I'm working through with coaching.
4) Being mindful of social implications. So always keeping in mind my environment and how my approach and talking appears to others. Also how it affects the seduction and my reputation.
5) Not blabing about my sexual conquests. This is something I've slowly gotten better with when talking to the guys, but something I really need to clinch down on.
and finally....
6) I will leave her better than I found her. (yes, I am stealing this one) There's definitely been girls that I haven't done this with. So this is something I really want to understand better and make a part of my seduction.
I've figured out that I was taking the advice I knew and understood from GC in the past to an extreme. And then I wasn't able to deal with the emotions around that properly (like I'm learning to do now). I can accept that I was ill-equipped in my own understanding and can forgive myself for that. But now, I know how to do it the right way. It's just a matter of actually living it to really cement it in my being.
Hopefully this helped some people on here dealing with some of the same things. Don't do what I did. Listen to the GC team and pay especially close attention to their warnings and the small caveats of seducing. They matter.
Will update again in a month or once I get my job and move out. Whatever comes first.
Till then,
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update (3/28/20):
Hey fellas. Hope everyone's well.
Been in iso these past few weeks with the corona virus. But I've gotten back into learning the guitar and piano, upping my Japanese skills, growing my business, began to learn how to cook, and just staying busy.
It's been amazing to say the least. I know I'm valuable. I know what I bring to the table.
So on the topic of girls, I've been thinking a lot on where I'd want to live. I've figured out what I'd want and figured I'd probably do best in a couple nearby cities that have much more my demographic, are more liberal, and bigger. There's drawbacks and pluses to all, but I've been being more picky on what I want and what would be best for my dating life.
Additionally, I've decided to say screw trying everything I can on seduction. I decided to specialize based on my strengths and on the type of girls I'm into. It makes it much easier - I know what I'm not AND what I do best at and know the girls I like.
For me:
- I'm not a bar goer. (I also decided to give up drinking completely - which I've done so far)
- I'm not a club goer. It's just not me. I'm also not hugely into party girls - I know how much trouble they can be (despite how fun they may be!)
- I hate online dating (this includes Tinder and apps). I really do. I've done it and tried it many times. There's just too much screening I'd have to do. Plus, I just generally do way better in person (and have been told this by girls anyways) (and sexting isn't that fulfilling for me!)
So what does this leave according to Varoon's "Pickup and Seduction Styles: Which Will Work Best for You"?
- Day Game. I'm going to be honest, I love day game. I wasn't smart with this before - but I've learned.
- Social Circle Game. I actually do pretty decent in social circles so this may be worth developing.
- Paying for sex - no thanks. I'd rather develop my skill set.
- Sugar daddy and baby game - not really for me. I'm going to be financially independent, but I'm going to accomplish this without spending thousands on pussy.
- Social media - I want to add this here because I know guys who use it to their advantage. But I'm not on social media and don't want to be - an area I agree with Chase on completely. (It's really freeing tbh)
So:
- Day game and social circle game are my specialties from here on out. No more time being wasted in other areas.
"It's all different paths to the same goal" after all.
I also want to say I'm going with sniper game - mass approaching taught me a lot, but it came back and bit me because I abused it. Sniper game will keep me from making those same mistakes again.
I have a purpose. I have a goal (100 women by 25). I know how to get there (day game and social circle). I know the type of girl I like. I'm living intentionally and directing my seduction learning to complement my strengths to get me to my goals. I have the community and best teachers in the world to help me and guide me.
I won't fail.
NBW
Hey fellas. Hope everyone's well.
Been in iso these past few weeks with the corona virus. But I've gotten back into learning the guitar and piano, upping my Japanese skills, growing my business, began to learn how to cook, and just staying busy.
It's been amazing to say the least. I know I'm valuable. I know what I bring to the table.
So on the topic of girls, I've been thinking a lot on where I'd want to live. I've figured out what I'd want and figured I'd probably do best in a couple nearby cities that have much more my demographic, are more liberal, and bigger. There's drawbacks and pluses to all, but I've been being more picky on what I want and what would be best for my dating life.
Additionally, I've decided to say screw trying everything I can on seduction. I decided to specialize based on my strengths and on the type of girls I'm into. It makes it much easier - I know what I'm not AND what I do best at and know the girls I like.
For me:
- I'm not a bar goer. (I also decided to give up drinking completely - which I've done so far)
- I'm not a club goer. It's just not me. I'm also not hugely into party girls - I know how much trouble they can be (despite how fun they may be!)
- I hate online dating (this includes Tinder and apps). I really do. I've done it and tried it many times. There's just too much screening I'd have to do. Plus, I just generally do way better in person (and have been told this by girls anyways) (and sexting isn't that fulfilling for me!)
So what does this leave according to Varoon's "Pickup and Seduction Styles: Which Will Work Best for You"?
- Day Game. I'm going to be honest, I love day game. I wasn't smart with this before - but I've learned.
- Social Circle Game. I actually do pretty decent in social circles so this may be worth developing.
- Paying for sex - no thanks. I'd rather develop my skill set.
- Sugar daddy and baby game - not really for me. I'm going to be financially independent, but I'm going to accomplish this without spending thousands on pussy.
- Social media - I want to add this here because I know guys who use it to their advantage. But I'm not on social media and don't want to be - an area I agree with Chase on completely. (It's really freeing tbh)
So:
- Day game and social circle game are my specialties from here on out. No more time being wasted in other areas.
"It's all different paths to the same goal" after all.
I also want to say I'm going with sniper game - mass approaching taught me a lot, but it came back and bit me because I abused it. Sniper game will keep me from making those same mistakes again.
I have a purpose. I have a goal (100 women by 25). I know how to get there (day game and social circle). I know the type of girl I like. I'm living intentionally and directing my seduction learning to complement my strengths to get me to my goals. I have the community and best teachers in the world to help me and guide me.
I won't fail.
NBW
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Update 4/19:
Hey guys! Just had my birthday so that was fun. I got a new photography lens (75-200 mm zoom lens for you photography nerds ).
I've been doing a lot of reading on GC to better understand how I'm going to seduce from here on out. Here's a gist:
1) Focusing on Day-Game and Social Circle
2) Going to focus on being elegant and turning sexy as the vibe escalates
3) Focus on being smooth and charming
*In summary of top points: following a maximizing approach to getting women*
I've been doing a lot of visualization and meditation to work on my vibe, reading on how to improve my conversationalist skills, and calibrating my approach and hook methods to be congruent with this style of game.
I've also spent time today re-evaluating the venues I visit (AND I WAS DOING IT ALL WRONG GUYS).
What I was doing was cold approaching at stores, at school (when I went, now graduated), and the occasional coffee shop or bookstore. But after seriously evaluating my city and what these venues were like (awful btw - not to mention I burned a lot of them...whoops).
I could seriously kick myself for how thirsty and not-smart I was being. But I have to forgive myself and move forward.
Here's the venues I SHOULD/WILL be attending:
- the social club
- the activity group
- the charity event
- the networking event
- the party
- salsa classes
- martial arts classes
- vacations (when I finally get around to traveling)
- parties
- lounges
- social events
- public events (which don't happen often here sadly)
ON OCCASION:
- whole foods (ONLY when buying food)
- Trader Joes (ONLY when buying food)
- hired guns
(for completeness, my city DOES NOT have: good book stores (all single level and small, even B&N), the street, public transportation, a beach)
So that fixes my bad venue choices. Plus these jive with my style of seduction MUCH better.
The biggest change is getting this chasing mentality out of my head. The goal is for women to chase ME, not the other way around. This is a big change from what I was doing because, like a major GC writer says (can't remember who atm), mass approaching is ADDICTIVE (like being on drugs - it seriously makes you feel like the MAN but it is totally counterproductive and possibly destructive).
So I have to work on undoing all of that bad field programming and work on building the right habits by visiting the right venues and practicing this very defined style of game.
In other news, I'm strong on no-fap and all my other life areas. Working on finding a solid job with some help in the midst of all this covid stuff. So that should be good to finally get something worth my time.
Hope you all are well this month as well.
Till the next update,
NBW
Hey guys! Just had my birthday so that was fun. I got a new photography lens (75-200 mm zoom lens for you photography nerds
).I've been doing a lot of reading on GC to better understand how I'm going to seduce from here on out. Here's a gist:
1) Focusing on Day-Game and Social Circle
2) Going to focus on being elegant and turning sexy as the vibe escalates
3) Focus on being smooth and charming
*In summary of top points: following a maximizing approach to getting women*
I've been doing a lot of visualization and meditation to work on my vibe, reading on how to improve my conversationalist skills, and calibrating my approach and hook methods to be congruent with this style of game.
I've also spent time today re-evaluating the venues I visit (AND I WAS DOING IT ALL WRONG GUYS).
What I was doing was cold approaching at stores, at school (when I went, now graduated), and the occasional coffee shop or bookstore. But after seriously evaluating my city and what these venues were like (awful btw - not to mention I burned a lot of them...whoops).
I could seriously kick myself for how thirsty and not-smart I was being. But I have to forgive myself and move forward.
Here's the venues I SHOULD/WILL be attending:
- the social club
- the activity group
- the charity event
- the networking event
- the party
- salsa classes
- martial arts classes
- vacations (when I finally get around to traveling)
- parties
- lounges
- social events
- public events (which don't happen often here sadly)
ON OCCASION:
- whole foods (ONLY when buying food)
- Trader Joes (ONLY when buying food)
- hired guns
(for completeness, my city DOES NOT have: good book stores (all single level and small, even B&N), the street, public transportation, a beach)
So that fixes my bad venue choices. Plus these jive with my style of seduction MUCH better.
The biggest change is getting this chasing mentality out of my head. The goal is for women to chase ME, not the other way around. This is a big change from what I was doing because, like a major GC writer says (can't remember who atm), mass approaching is ADDICTIVE (like being on drugs - it seriously makes you feel like the MAN but it is totally counterproductive and possibly destructive).
So I have to work on undoing all of that bad field programming and work on building the right habits by visiting the right venues and practicing this very defined style of game.
In other news, I'm strong on no-fap and all my other life areas. Working on finding a solid job with some help in the midst of all this covid stuff. So that should be good to finally get something worth my time.
Hope you all are well this month as well.
Till the next update,
NBW
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2018
- Messages
- 568
I support the venue choices you made and encourage you to try them out!
But, don't completely give up on stores/coffee shops and that like. If you see the woman of your dreams in a coffee shop, are you really going to walk away thinking "Too bad she's in a coffee shop. I don't approach there anymore and it doesn't match my vibe"? No! Go ahead and approach those beauties wherever they are. My guess is you probably just overdid it on those occasions.
One general comment I have is to also keep in mind that you're going to want to go to places where beautiful girls are. For example, social groups or meetups might sound great, but if attractive girls don't participate and instead they all go the yoga studio down the street, it would probably be in your best interest to find a way to make yoga work for you instead
But, don't completely give up on stores/coffee shops and that like. If you see the woman of your dreams in a coffee shop, are you really going to walk away thinking "Too bad she's in a coffee shop. I don't approach there anymore and it doesn't match my vibe"? No! Go ahead and approach those beauties wherever they are. My guess is you probably just overdid it on those occasions.
One general comment I have is to also keep in mind that you're going to want to go to places where beautiful girls are. For example, social groups or meetups might sound great, but if attractive girls don't participate and instead they all go the yoga studio down the street, it would probably be in your best interest to find a way to make yoga work for you instead
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
I support the venue choices you made and encourage you to try them out!
But, don't completely give up on stores/coffee shops and that like. If you see the woman of your dreams in a coffee shop, are you really going to walk away thinking "Too bad she's in a coffee shop. I don't approach there anymore and it doesn't match my vibe"? No! Go ahead and approach those beauties wherever they are. My guess is you probably just overdid it on those occasions.
One general comment I have is to also keep in mind that you're going to want to go to places where beautiful girls are. For example, social groups or meetups might sound great, but if attractive girls don't participate and instead they all go the yoga studio down the street, it would probably be in your best interest to find a way to make yoga work for you instead
Thanks for your thoughts ElderPrice!
Yeah I definitely won't be giving them up completely or letting it become a block to approaching. But I am going to visit these venues a lot less (which was part of my initial problem anyway). Part of it too is mental - just being comfortable talking to women at these locations again.
You do make a great point with the social groups and the like. Focusing more on the groups and activities women are interested in and go to is going to be much more worth while. I'll be sure to keep this mind when I pick what groups and events to join!
NBW