SpookyTannedMoose said:I've noticed that women just seem way, way more interested in me after I make my intentions direct, but based on prior experience, they also don't seem to respond super well when I open direct. It may be that making my intentions known a bit earlier in the interaction will benefit me a lot.
Today, what was interesting to me is that this girl was wearing her sunglasses and not really looking at me before I asked her out to coffee. Afterwards, she took her sunglasses off almost immediately and started turning and making eye contact -- like I went from 'casual conversation partner' to 'someone I'm interested in checking out'. I've noticed a similar trend in the past -- women can go from seeming almost bored to very interested in the conversation once I go direct.
In the past, I tried a lot of direct and it didn't really work for me (it didn't feel congruent or natural most of the time), but now I'm finding that if I wait a bit and get to know her first, it really seems to crank up her interest levels. I'll have to pay attention to that going forward.
I don't fully understand this because it seems a bit contradictory to me. You said making your intentions known a bit earlier in the interaction will benefit you a lot, but that opening direct hasn't worked for you. Do you mean that you've had success opening indirect then quickly moving direct as opposed to letting the indirect convo go on longer like you usually have?
That's exactly it.
It's essentially a different form of escalation. Todd Valentine has the model of the 'four modes of escalation' -- verbal escalation, emotional escalation, sexual escalation, and logistical escalation. Opening is a form of verbal escalation over not opening. Opening direct is verbally escalating and sexually escalating simultaneously. I've found more success overall by separating the two.
To go from indirect to direct can be done a lot of ways. To do it very quickly, you can do indirect-direct, which is something espoused here at girlschase -- ask her for directions to somewhere obvious, and then when she's confused, say something like, "Nah, just kidding, I just thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you."
Or, you can wait until the natural end of the interaction and then try to escalate / get her number that way, for an extreme example in the other direction.
Today I I did...a lot of approaches, while out with my dog, in the coffee shops, etc. Only one of them went anywhere -- thankfully for me, it was with an extremely attractive bisexual 19 year old with absolutely amazing hips. I'm talking very wide-boned hips, with a nice thigh gap, but skinny/lean. Nnf
I did escalate / increase my directness through the interaction.
She was talking about her dog, and said something like,
Her: "He doesn't really hump anything except poodles, or poodle mixes, and then I have to pull him off."
Me: "And what's your type?" <--- sexual escalation, although not entirely direct, it gets the point across
Her: "I'm bisexual, so...pretty broad. My type is...yes?"
Me: "Yeah, I was getting that vibe."
Us: Other stuff
This was pretty early into the interaction, and despite her being obviously kind of nervous/quiet and not overtly engaged or smiley, it was one of the 'stickiest' interactions I've had in awhile, where she was happy to sit near me / move for me, and when she had to do something, asked me to come with her.
Incidentally, I think this is the first time I've gotten a girl's number off of cold approach since I started approaching again a couple of weeks ago. I have met *so* many married/taken women, and I don't mess with that. I'm pretty pleased it was this girl in particular, as she really suits my taste.