It's raining

Thought I'd start a bit of a journal. Backgound info. Approach anxiety, but slowly doing approahces over the past 18months. Even normal 'hows your day going' to checkout workers was not 'super easy' for me. Although its sometimes piss easy now. But yeah, not good with social skills or conversation. Very literal/logical. Have a 'dolled up' photo of me and used online dating, have met over 100women[possibly more I've been doign it a few years as I had such approach anxiety its all I did] at least from online, but obviously most of them are not too keen due to inexperience and also the photo/lines I use online may make me more attractive/interesting than I really am. I did sleep with a few though, there were some that found me attractive, and even two women from online that standout as possiby attractive enough where there was possible long term mutual attraction. I'm also underweight. Face isn't that good either, just saying. Not complaining, just pointing out the practicality of my situation. I may need to do more approaches compared to some to have some good results.

I have gotten some numbers from cold approach, and thought it would be easy if they met up. Well, some gave me a number, and it was a real number[fb check or got them to call me so its legit number] but yeah, they only gave the number to be polite. Others, were happy to meet, and I put the moves on them, and 'got nothing'. There are 2 that I did get numbers off, one in a pub, the other in supermarket, and they did seem legitimatley keen, but since i wasn't keen on them, I purposly 'pushed the text/phone' a bit just to see how it would go and yeah didn't end up doing anything with them. But since I wasn't that keen not a big loss.

Today. Shopping mall with a guy I met off another site. Missed heaps of approaches, but did 4 or 5. I am better at doing ones that are in aisle and 'already stopped'. My buddy is better at doing ones that are moving. Although he only did 1 today overall so I did more. However 2x walking/moving ones today, yessss! I'm mainly going cold here, not ones that seem to be giving IOI. I may not be getting many IOI at all to begin with.

In specialty shop aisle
Me: Hows it going?
Her; Good thanks.
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her: Yes
Me: looks good!
Her: Thanks.
Me: Are you single?
Her: No * shakes head*
Me: Ah, thats how it goes sometimes. Nice to meet you!
Her: Nice to meet you!

Another specialty shop aisle
Me: Hows it going?
Her: Good thanks
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her: *new zeland? accent* yes just yesterday I dyed it"
Me: Oh looks good
Her: *looked at me toothless smile? cant remember. dont think she said much
Me: Are you single?
Her; No I'm not *sort of toothless awkward grin at me*
Me: Nice to meet you

Shopping mall walking towards me and me toward her, told my friend 'split split I want to do an approach' and as she walked towards me
Me: Excuse me?
Her: Yes?
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her; errrrrm yeah?
Me: Oh looks good!
Her: *pause* thank you[or she said no worries?] *her tone was awkward or like why are you telling me this*
She may have said no worries or I said no worries, and then she walked away.

In another store aisle
Me: Hows it going?
Her; Good thanks
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her; Yeah I do
Me: Looks good!
Her: Thankyou I appreciate the compliment
Me: Are you single?
Her; No I'm not
Me: You know I'm not a murderer right? lol me smiling
Her: You dont give off that vibe!
But I am married *shows her ring*
Me: Oh yep. I take the nonmurder as a compliment. I tend not to look at rings otherwise its awkward standing there, I tend to rather go straight in and start talking. *used a confident hand gesture ie elbow at 90degrees then moved forearm to make arm fully straight when I said 'straight in'* Nice to meet you
Her: You too have a lovely night

Shopping mall one walking in my direction after my friend went home
me: Excuse me
Her: nearly didnt hear me *turned around* 'yeah?'
me: Do you dye your hair?
Her; What *walks a bit closer*
Me: *my hand on my ear/hair * "Do you dye your hair?"
Her: *foreign french? accent maybe* "No its real"
Me; Oh looks good
Her: Thanks * she walked away*

Pokies room someone sitting at pokies machine
Me: Excuse me,
Her *turns to look at me*
Me: do you dye your hair?
Her: Yeah I do
Me: Looks good!
Her: Cheers! *turns back to machine*
Me: Are you single?
Her: No Im not
Me: Ah nice to meet you
Her: Nice to meet you

Shopping ony did one in the supermarket

Me: Hows it gong?
Her: Good thanks
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her: Yes I do
Me: Looks good
Her: Thankyou
Me: ARe you single?
Her: Ah no I'm actually married
Me: Oh ok nice to meet you

Went to pub, pokies room gamble button was broken got attendant to come over, made chit chat, got another attendandt to come over, touched her arm and then touched the gamble button, unsure if any interest she seemed to make eye contact after that as I made a bit of small talk and about since they can't fix machine I'll goto the next one.

Then, I was up by $4 roughly and decided to leave. Went back to first attendandt who was more attractive
Me: I'm up by $4 I think I should leave while I'm ahead!
Her: Ah yeah bla bla
Me: Are you single?
Her: Sorry? *she steps/leans forward*
Me: Are you single?
Her: No I'm not sorry * she leans/steps back
Me: No worries how it goes , nice to meet you

Supermarket late at night.

Two women said I can go ahead of them as I only had a couple of items, and joked they are not stealing anything. Cashier, who I may ask out in future but was not looking my best today so just went there for food, put my items through and I said I'll just look over there as I'd previously asked if they had xyz items and they said only whats left. So I went over to where this two set had gone to and talked to the tall blonde[dyed hair I think].

Me: Hows it going?
Her: Good thanks
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her: Yes I do
Me: Looks good
Me: Are you single?
Her: Laughs a bit yes I am
Me: Me too!
Her: Is this like speed dating lol *looked at cashier?*
Herfriend *lol* covers her own mouth as she lol
Me: Sometimes I'm shy othertimes I'm out going
Herfirend says "I'm going I'm going" and I think she walked away to let me talk to her friend? ie privacy?
Me: So is this all of your stuff?
Her: Yeah it is
Me: Oh I thought it might have been one of those special bags
Her: Special bags?
Me: Oh trolleys. Like where they have a trolley with everything on special in it
Her: No no its my stuff
Me: I'm "Rain" *holds hand out* I may have said "I'm "Rain" by the way" if not, I may include "by the way" in future name introductions
Her: I'm xyz *shakes hand*
Me: So are you a local?
Her: Yes I'm from abc
Me: Me too I do like to drive to xyz city and coast
Her: Yeah I used to live in xyz city
Me: What made you move to abc?
Her: Uni and job
Me: Oh true. Would you like to hangout sometime?
Her : Yeah we can do that.
Me: *noticed her phone was in her hand time and looked at it* If I..
Her: Whats your number
Me: xyz
Her: It's always good to make new friends
Me: Yeah
Her: I'll just prank call you
Me: Oh I dont like pranks
Her; Just so you have my number
Me: Yep
Me: *checks phone* Okay I better go pay for my items
Her: Yeah otherwse you'd be stealing them
Me: Nice to meet you
Her: You too

So since she said always nice to meet new friends at the end, and I don't think I was looking my best facewise, I'm not expecting anything to happen here. I have sent her an icebreaker text anyway.

Woman from other night did reply to icebreaker text, but did not reply the next day. Will try again in 3 days.

In line at supermarket, asked behind me if they dyed their hair, I did not ask if she was single, perhaps too many people around, still working on risking rejection in front of others as opposed to in a nice quiet supermarket aisle where its more private/less public.

Rain said:

Woman from other night did reply to icebreaker text, but did not reply the next day. Will try again in 3 days.

In line at supermarket, asked behind me if they dyed their hair, I did not ask if she was single, perhaps too many people around, still working on risking rejection in front of others as opposed to in a nice quiet supermarket aisle where its more private/less public.

Click to expand...

This is something I have a problem with too man. However I've noticed that when you take risks with women in front of other people, those other people will not think any less of you. In fact they will think you have some serious balls and be entertained or amused.

backstory said:

Rain said:

Woman from other night did reply to icebreaker text, but did not reply the next day. Will try again in 3 days.

In line at supermarket, asked behind me if they dyed their hair, I did not ask if she was single, perhaps too many people around, still working on risking rejection in front of others as opposed to in a nice quiet supermarket aisle where its more private/less public.

Click to expand...

This is something I have a problem with too man. However I've noticed that when you take risks with women in front of other people, those other people will not think any less of you. In fact they will think you have some serious balls and be entertained or amused.

Click to expand...

Hey man, thanks for the feedback. Maybe I should approach a 2set on purpose or a 1 set with another customer near by, even though still in a supermarket aisle, something small and achievable like that and work my way up from there. I did do a walking approach today, but it was quiet, but still, walking ones are difficult to do for me as well so that's still increasing the pool of women from just "standing ones" to include "walking" ones too.

I did some approaches recently and here are some of the details.

7/11/17 Yesterday, did 3 approaches

#1 me: hows it going
her: good how are you?
me: im just browsing
her: yeah prices are on good i often find myself in this aisle
me: I used to be in this aisle alot but not recently
her: yeah i have a sweet tooth
me: do you work here?
her: no i work outside cbd on my way home
me: oh true are you single?
her :no. ahh no im not single *shakes head*
me: oh thats how it goes
her: are you single?
me: yeah i am. im 5050 on being single enjoy freedom but also enjoy being with someone
her: can't remember what she say
me: I'll leave you to it

#2 her sorry[trolly in way a young mum]
me: im just having a browse all good
meX2 do you dye your hair?
her: yeah i do
me : I used to dye mine blonde then it grew out
her: yeah i have regrowth but i hate it
me: oh i had a hairdresser tell me that regrowth looks hot! but women dont like it themselves
her: yeah i prefer to keep it without regrowth
me: are you a local?
her: yeah i like driving. i drove all the way out to xyz
me: oh yeah about 4hrs
her: yeah. most people dont get it but i like it
me: you dont know anyone there?
her; no just like driving
me: Oh true.
her: Yeah been to abc before in a day
me: A day? 20hrs in a day?
her: well a day and a half.
me: Are you single?
her: no.
me: happily?
her: happily yes
me: all good ones taken hey . ill leave you to it

#3 her excuse me[she grabbed milk i was in milk section]
me: *turned around * do you dye your hair?
her: yeah I do. why do you ask?
me: I used to dye mine then i let it grow and now its brown.
her: yeah i get mine done at a hairdresser.
me: oh true i used to get my friend to do it. are you a local
her: nah im from out xyz way
me: oh yeah i know xyz
her: yeah its 30mins
me: nah 45mins. you must be a speeder!
her: hehe nah
me: are you single?
her: no im not
me: happily?
her: we been going out 3years now
me: aoh true thats how it goes, i'll leave you to it
her: thankyou!

#4 me: hows it going[herback to you after walked passed each other]
her faced you good
me: do you dye your hair?
her: i have to go *waves* and walked away

9/11/17
#1 hows it going?
her good
me we're just browsing, its not for us[i had a friend with me and it was some makeup section or something]
her ok
me how old are you?
her 18
me sorry?
her 18
me oh true. How old do you reckon I am
her : mmm 25? [my friend starts laughing]
me *loooks at my friend and puts hand on my chest * why can't I be 25! lol
meX2 are youa local
her yeah
me what do you like about living in xyz?
her nothing at all *smiled jokingly* [this suburb has a bad rep]
me are you single?
her no
me happily not single?
her yeah
me no worries ill leave you to it


10/11/17 2017 #1 me: hows it going?
her sorry[had her trolly in way
me no your right im just browsing
me X2 do you dye your hair/
her yeah i do
me looks good
her thanks
me are you single?
her no im not
me happily not single/
her yeah been together for 5years now
me ah thats how it goes someitmes
her what
me ah thats how it goes sometimes ill leave you to it nice to meet you
her ok thankyou

#2 Hows it going?[young mother]
her good
me do you dye your hair?
her not recently a few months ago
me looks good
her thanks
me are you single?
her no im not
me happily?
her yeah
me no worries ill leave you to it
her thankyou

#3 Hey [she was walking towards me looking down at her phone]
she hey
you turned around do you dye your hair?
she turned walk towards you *pause* I used to
me looks good! *big smile*[not a sexy smile a happy smile, haven't practised a sexy smile yet and i think in one article a normal smile is ok right at start of interaction? the artifcle that says what to do if your approach isnt working iirc]
her thanks
me are you single?
her *pauses looks away* ah no
me happily are you happly not single?
her yeah
me thats how it goes all good ones are taken nice to meet you
her nice to meet you

Said hey to a few others but didnt go further. Still need to work on that. Still missed other sets even standing ones. But approaching is better than zero.
At least today I approached one that was alking and looking at her phone, better than only doing 'standing' ones as it increase the pool of women to choose from . Ohhhhh yeah
I also feel that my approaches are more bold than confident, if that makes sense. Either way something to work on and also still be happy that I'm approaching without using the internet dating sites.

3days ago approached in supermarket she was crouched looking at something on lowest shelf.

Me: excuse me ***puts hand to grab something off lower shelf***
Her: sorry ***stands up***
Me: thats ok I'm just browsing
Her: Me too. This for the kids
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her: What?
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her: Is that what you're looking at?
Me: Yes
Her: Yeah I do. As I got older it went a yucky mousey brown
Me: Looks beautiful
Her: thanks
Me: Are you single?
Her:No I'm no
Me: Nice to meet you


Yesterday did some more hanging out with friend/wingman in shopping mall
Saw someone had to walk fast to catchup but she stopped and wrote something on a piece of paper
Me: *walks passed then stands near but not too close* Do you dye your hair?
Her: Yeah I do
Me: Looks good
Her: Thanks
Me: Are youa local?
Her: Yeah I am. But I'm going now *turns and goes in the direction she just came from*
Me: *loudly* No worries! *proceeds to go in the opposte direction she went in now,so as not to look weird*


On escalator with friend, someone behind us he moved so she could get through but she said she in no rush but thanks.
Me: Hows it going?
Her: Good and you?
Me: Good. You work here?
Her: Yeah
Me: Oh true. We're just vising
Her: Oh yeah
Me: Are you single?
Her:Nosorry i'm not
Me: Happily?
Her: Yes
Me: No worries nice to meet you
Her: Nice to meet you
My friend to me: that was good . that was very smooth. you seemed more confident than 6months ago.
me: yeah but that was inset by chance / coincidence. If they line up behind us, you're already in set,well sort of.


Another one close behind us on escalator not sure she was that good but she wasnt tooo bad Iguess. She was lookingdown at her phone
Me: Hows it going?
Her: *few seconds stil at phone then looks up* Good how are you?
Me: Good too. You work here?
Her: Yes I do
Me: Oh nice. We're just visiting having a browse
Her: Where are you visiting from?
Me: xyz.
Her;Oh thats really nice ***smiled***
Me: Yeah I'm from there, my friend lives here thought
Her: That's nice
Me; Are you single? *** was hesitant to ask this as there was amiddle aged woman right behind her but I did anyway, unsure if because had friend with me or just felt confident***
Her: ***slight pause*** Maybe ***smiled***
Me: Oh true me too. I'm Rain *holds out hand*
Her: I'm xyz ***shakes my hand
Me: What are you up to now?
Her: I'm just doing something quickly then going back to work
Me: Would you like to hangout sometime?
Her; *slight pause* Oh no thanks
Me: No worries nice to meet you
Her: Nice to meet you have a nice day
Me; You too
Me to my friend: so Ithink she maybe liked me but wasn't sure
My friend : yeah she seemed to like you. maybe put in a disclaimer before asking to hangout just say I'm not trying to pick you up just want to get to know you or something so its more relaxed. Ithink thats what he meant


My friend and I had to part ways now, and I ended up at another shopping center later on in the day. I noticed a worker in a very tiny shop and decided to browse that shop after doing my grocery shopping. Unsure if she may have noticed me looking in as I walked passed, probably not but maybe
Me:* ***Browses shop and kept back to her area***
Her: ****comes up next to me after some of the customers leave**** Do you need a hand with anything?
Me: Ahhhh I'mJust browsing, just having a look.
Her: Oh rightio ***she turned to almost walk away***
Me: Quite busy at this time!
Her: Yeah its closing time soon!
Me: Oh true I'm just visiting.
Her: Where are you from
Me: xyz.
Her: My partner is from there or lives there
Me: Its a nice place its much better than here.
Her; Yeah we sometimes have arguments about which is better place
Me: Are you a local? You have to be you work here!
Her: No I'm from abc.
Me: Oh true. What made you choose here? Has a bad reputation
Her: I'm insane!
Me: ***turned away a bit then turned right around but still not fully facing her*** You're insane?
Her: No not really
me: Oh phew.... lol. You worried me for a second. ***Her body was nearly facing me, but not fully and was a few degrees slightly away but she put her hands through her hair and kept froze her hands up there for a bit, there were other people in the direction she was facing so maybe that was not aimed at me.***
Her: I just came here after moving out my parents
Me: Yeah has a bad rep. but xyz is better
Her: yeah my parnter and i argue over which is better! But xyz has horses.... cows....
me: horses... cows... what?
her.... oh nevermind
me... you can say it
her... no
me.... c'mon I wont tell anyone
her... just certain people act like cows
me.... oh they women trying to take your partner away from you?
her.... no hes too busy with computer games
me.... oh why dont you play with him?
her... i do!
me... is that warcraft? I dont know much about them
her... yeah zombies and stuff
***there were other people so she had to go back to the checkout***

***she came back***
Her: let me know if need a hand dont be fussed about the closing time
Me: no worries just browsing

The music went off so i finished browsing and went around to her area and she turned around
me.... closing time! I heard the music go off
her... yeah about to shut up shop. ***she was facing me and sort of took a step forward then hesitated and stood there with one leg bent but pointing towards me. I was standing the large doorway roller door so she may have been wanting to get to that***
me... you know its ... its a shame your taken you're quite breath taking
her.... ***puts one hand near her face and starts moving it up and down to move air on her face to cool it down*** I'm going red!
me... ***smiled*** can't remember if i said anything or just stood there . i wanted to ask her about but she had a partner
her... thankyou
me... nice to meet you ***walked out***
her... *slight pause* see ya
She did smile at the end and during the interaction at times if I remember correctly. But again could just be friendly. She mentioned her partner twice without me asking.

Supermarket/target type areas
Middle aged woman not my type
me: hows it going
her: good you
me: good thanks just browsing this any good?
her: im trying to get this one but in 2litres. going to make punch and has to be right otherwise I get complaints
me: true you need correct ratio

Woman and teenage daughter
***they stood near me as looking at same items shelf***
me: ***overhear them looking at chips*** yeah plenty to choose from! ***looked at them***
***they both looked at me*** the mum: yeah haha
I should have asked how old the teenager was, too shy need to fix

woman late 20s or in 30s but some attractive
me: hows it going?
her: ***takes step back*** good thanks
me: ***walks away***
Figured she wasn't interested since she took a step back, should have talked and risked rejection to be sure

woman in 20s closer to my type but not exactly
me: excuse me just browsing
her: ***ignores*** had headphone in
me: ***picks item up*** so is this the good one?
her: ***sees me corner of eye*** I'm not sure
me: me either just browsing.
Should have risked rejection too shy

Middle aged woman slightly closer to my type but still a far way off preference younger woman but she was ok just
me: hows it going
her: good you
me: good just browsing. these are the good ones are they? *picks up item*
her: yeah except there's too many of them.
me: too many?
her: yeah its for a friend shes a nurse. If you give a woman too many she will eat them all. Then later will tell you "you know those chocolates you gave me..."
me: what about that one?
her: there's too little of them
me: Well I'm sure you've got plenty of alternatives to choose fro
her: yeah but I wanted those ones
me: are you a local
her: yeah. I think these will do. Good luck with your choices, not too many not too little!
me: true that seeya


Woman not really my type but not middle aged I don't think
me: hows it going
her: good and you
me: good just browsing lots of choice here
her: yeah trying to pick out some pens for work
me: what doyou do
her: admin
me: yeah i tried that but you need a degree.... not a degree but.... experience?
her: yeah they usually only hire females.
me: yeah i noticed that too
her: its a bit sexist
me: yeah but that's how it is. goes against modern society but it is how they hire. are you a local?
her: yeah I am. My other half party this weekend that will be fun. his best mate will be there. that could be a problem
me: whys that
her: nothing wrong with him... he just teases me a bit. I take everything serious not with a grain of salt
me: oh yeah like me a highly sensitive person. There 10-15% of us in the world other people don't get it
her: yeah he's not too bad , last time his partner was tired so they left early see how it goes. my partner and him are best mates, spend all weekend together, I wish he would have a weekend just with me. Can't complain i have him 5days to myself.
me: thats true 5 is a lot!
her: yeah. well have good one
me: see ya


Woman came near me. Defs closer to my type
her: sorry
me: all good just browsing
meX2: Do you dye your hair?
her: I used to it now has streaks through it. ***faces the ground to show me her hair*** see here and here is where its darker and had the streaks...
me: oh I'm not interrupting your shopping am I?
her: no you're not. ***took hair clip out*** see the end bits are still blonde
me: I used to have mine really long but then cut it short.
her; yeah my boyfriend used to have his long as he is from Spain they do that over there.
me: Oh yeah I've never been to Spain. But I also used to dye it blonde and had regrowth look.
her: well have a good rest of the afternoon
me: see you

Maybe could have tried one of the boyfriend response lines eg that Franco wrote, but figured there wasn't the right time to ask them out eg if they are mentioning a boyfriend that soon its usually a sign of disinterest and/or legit partner anyway? Missed a few others still working on shyness.

Supermarkets/kmart type stores

Only give this woman a 5
me: hows it going?
her: good what are you up to?
Me: just browsing. this the good deal section?
her: yeah it is
me: are you a local?
her: yeah I am I work here
me: what do you do for work?
her: I work at the uni
me: oh yeah I tried to get into admin but they only hire women?
her: you should still have a fair shot
me: I know but thats just how it is is all. along with no experience
her: that would be a problem!
me: this store open till 6pm now
her: is it?
me: yeah they only recently changed it
her: oh good to know i have extra time.
me: Would you like to grab a drink later?
Her: Oh no sorry . I have to get this stuff home. thankyou though
me: True you don't want it to melt!
her: I'm Natasha ***holds out her hand***
me: I'm Rain ***shakes hand***
her: Nice to meet you, good luck with the admin
me: nice to meet you

This woman single mum but I gotta give hera 6, curvy maybe even too curvy in some areas I dunno but still ass ..... looked good in those jeans I would have done her lol and yeah she gets a 6 possibly I reckon.
me: Excuse me ***grabs item near her***
meX2: Im just browsing
meX3: Do you dye your hair?
her: no
me: looks good!
her: thank you ***walking away***
me: are you a local?
her: yeah
me: Me too!
her: That's nice ***walks away***


late 30s? 40s? taller but nice ass in jeans
her: excuse me ***grabs item near me***
me: you're right I"m just browsing
meX2 doyou dye your hair?
her: no
me: looks good
her: thankyou ***walks away***
me: are you a local?
her: yes
me: Me too!
her: Its good here ***walks away***


This woman was fat, so give her a 5. Have not heard from her she may have forgotten since I only gave her username didn't ask her number, or she may not have taken my username down correctly I did not check. Also she said "thankyou" at the end, which is what they say when they reject me anyway. Anyway, will post an update if I do here from her.
me: excuse me ***looks at item?***
meX2 Sorry? I'm just browsing
her: yeah I thought about getting my daughter this one
me: oh yeah the santa hats
her: Yeah but she may want reindeer
me: may have to ask her
me: are you a local
her: yeah been here a while local now
me: oh yeah me too
meX2: I'm Rain
her: I'm Tara
me: ***holds out hand***
her: ***shakes hand***
me: I walked through the pub before,quite busy
her: was it
me: yeah. are you single?
her: yeah
meh true me too? do you drink or smoke or anything
her: i smoke
me: i don't smoke but if i drink its rum and cola
her: I like him beam
me: I haven't tried it, may have to sometime!
me: would you like to hangout sometime?
her: yeah sure
me: unless you're busy with stuff?
her: nah
me: ok. ***tell her about a chat app give her my username***
her: I'll download the app. whats your username
me: its xyz
her: ill add you when home.
me: i used to do online dating see heres my pic. do i look like it? I dont have that colour hair anymore and its shorter. some say yeah close enough or similar nose/smile but different hair, others say its not that close. one of those things.
her: much of a muchness
me: what
her: yes but thats because i know to look for it.
me: ah i see. like if you have a white shirt, and you know there's a dot on it, you would be more likely to seethe dot so since you know its there.
her: yeah. I gotta keep going, will add you later.
me: no worries see you
her:thankyou


Another fat 5,but alot less fat then the one before, but still yeah not relaly my type a bit fat,although she was a bit cute in the face but only a bit
me: excuse me ***walks passed her***
her: sorry
me: your right just browsing
mex2 you browsing too?
her: I orderded chicken
me: oh you ordered food
her: yeah
me: do you dye your hair?
her: yeah
me: looks good.
her: thanks
me: I used to dye mine but have not recently
meX2: are you a local?
her: yeah just up the road
me: me too except other side of town
meX2 I'm Rain
her: I'm Emily
me: nice to meet you ***holds out hand***
her: ***shakes hand*** still has arms folded
me: are you single?
her: yeah
me: me too. that makes two of us!
meX2: what are you doing tonight?
her: went out last night so dunno what friends are up to tonight, just recover from sunburn I think
me: oh yeah I noticed that
worker: **calls out*** chicken yours?
her ***walks away***
her *** walks passed to leave*** nice meet you
me: would you like to hangout
her: ***turns around*** yeah sure if I see you ***walks away***

Said hey to a few others and still missed lots of sets. still working on this. also hard to stomach the ones that just walk away due to some fundamentals/game being a bit 'stuck'. well, rejection in general. if they walk away it doesn't waste my time so thats good just the rejection in general gets old.

Shopping mall as usual. I do go to different malls just saying.

Walk past a worker sweeping with a broom. Eye contact
Me: Hey
Her: Hey
Me: Do you dye your hair
Her: Yes i do
Me: Oh true I used to dye mine. And you work here?
Her: Yeah i do.
Me: Cool. are you a local? I guess you are.
Her: Yeah sort of I'm 30mins away
Me: Is that north or south?
Her: I don't know
Me: How can you not know!?
Her: I'm not good with directions
Me: Is it up Xyz?
Her: It's Abc
Me: Oh fair enough. Are you single
Her: I'm... 17
Me: Ohhhh ok. And how old would you say I am?
Her: 25
Me: Good guess! And I'm guessing that's too old for you?
Her: Yes
Me: No worries when you get older youll have lots of guys approach you
Her: Thankyou


Me: ***stood next to someone aisle*** so this is the good mayonaise section?
Her: I've just grabbed xyz
Me: Fair enough. Do you dye your hair?
Her: yeah I do.
Me: Looks good!
Her: Thanks.
Me: Are you single?
Her: Nah!
Me: That's how it goes nice to meet you



Me: Hows it going?
Her: Good and you?
Me: Yeah not too bad for a... monday night
Her:
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her: Yes I do. ***turns her head away for a second*** See?
Me: Yep I used to dye mine but have not in a while.
MeX2: Are you single?
Her: No I'm not
Me: Nice to meet you


***attractive woman trying to control her kids***
Me: Kids eh?
Her: Yeah!
Me: I know what you mean. Don't have any myself but some of my ex do
MeX2: Do you dye your hair?
Her: Yes I do
Me: Looks good
Her: Thank you
Me: Are you single?
Her: What?
Me: Are you single?
Her: No. I'm married.
Me: Oh ok. That's how it goes, nice to meet you




***20yr ?woman and guessing her younger sister*** They sort of moved away just as I came near
Younger: Sorry didn't see you
Me: Thats okay. Just browsing
***younger walked to her sister who had already nearly gone out of sight***
Me: ***louder and get your attention tone*** Hay ummm..
***20yr looks at me***
Me: Do you dye your hair?
Her: Yes I do.
Me: Looks good. I used to dye mine but have not since a few years ago
Her: Yeah I hate dying mine
Me: I used to get that regrowth look and you can tell its dyed but one hairdresser told me it looks good.
Her: Can't remember if she said anything ***another woman comes over must have been another younger sister***
Me: Are you single?
Her: I am, but I'm not looking for anything right now
Me: No worries nice to meet you
Her: You too iirc
So this was good that I risked rejection despite her two younger sisters or whatever listening. Need to approach more groups if I can. I almost felt I could have persisted once more and said "Oh just one drink/coffee. If you're not having fun after 5mins you can leave" but was too shy.


***random middle aged guy supermarket***
Him: Love the suit mate!
Me: Oh thanks! Its actually jeans and blazer.
MeX2 If only it could pass as a suit!
Him: Can't remember if he said anything else
Me: Thank you
Him: Have a good night mate


***mother and daughter***
Me to mother: This where all the good stuff is?
Mother: Yeah
Mother to daughter what about these ones?
***1min passes*** want to ask the daughter how old are you but too shy
***daughter was behind me but I moved abit and/or she then moved the trolley to talk to her mum***
Me to daughter: Do you dye your hair?
Her: Yes
Me: Looks good. When you get older you'll have lots of guys come talk to you!
Her: Thank you
***I walked away***
She was actually not that young up close so maybe I worrying about nothing. Should have asked her age to be sure and gone from there.
So good news I'm getting "in set" with not just people on their own, just need to keep working, keep pushing, and I know I can risk rejection more often. Still lots of work.

Motherboard stuffed up so these are over a week.

Trying to do excuse me you're pretty had to say hi as opener,still hard to open right off the bat direct. Can ask if dye hair, then single. But struggle to off the bat instead of dye hair say "you're pretty had to say hi".

In Aisle, woman walked passed aisle then walked back near me and browsed, she was a mother.
Me: Hows it going?
Her: Haaay she seemed enthusiastic? Unsure
Me: I'm just browsing
Her: Can't remember but I think I left. Either not my type or too shy. Yeah maybe not my type, but shyness was still there.


Fruit section
Me: Hey
Her: Hey
Me: You're really pretty and had to say hi did I startle you?
Her: You did
Me: Sorry
her: That's ok?
Me: So you're a local
Her:Yeah
Me: Oh true.Areyou single?
Her: No I'm not.
Me: Oh that's how it goes


Aisle
Me: Hey
Her: Hey
Me: You're really pretty had to say hi
Her: Thanks. Trying to work out why this one is cheaper but smells worse
Me: Different ingredients?
Her: Maybe
Me: Are you a local?
Her: Yeah not far?
Me: Oh true I'm can't remember
Me: Are you single?
Her: No I'm not
Me:Thats how it goes



Went to pub, woman sitting at smaller part of the bar
ME: hows it going
her: good
me: Do you dye your hair
her: I do
Me: Looks good
Her : Thanks
Me: are you single?
Her: No I'm in a relationship
Me: No worries
This woman, now I think about it, I reckon I got her number like a year ago at the same bar, maybe I should have been more persistent back then. Or maybe she wasn't that keen back then if she had a few.

Went to another bar, middle aged woman sat next to me to use poker machine
We talked a bit, she was single but I didn't ask out because I wanted to approach others who were more my type.
Did an approach woman on poker machine
Me: Having a win tonight?
Her: Nah
Me: True I think I'm up by a little bit
Her: Someones winning
Me: Do you work here
Her: No
Me: Oh ok the shirt thought worked at the bottle shop!
Her: Nah
Me: Are you single?
her: Nah I'm not
Me : Lucky guy!
Her: Yep thats him standing over there *she points to him*
Me: I'll leave you to it, Have a nice night
Her: Have a nice night.



Shops
midlde aged woman with kid.
Me: excuse me
Her: sorry you just browsing.
Meo dye hair?
Her: yes,
Me: Are you single?
Her: no. but thankyou.
Me: How old would you say I am?
Her: 30?
Me: Good guess or something. Anyway lucky guy!
Her: No
Me: No?
Her: No. Lucky girl
Me: Oh well if you look at it like that, then yeah lucky you!
Her: No. I'm a lesbian.
Me: Ohhhhh I get you now!
Talked a bit more, then said sure I can't tempt for a drink? Her no but thankyou.



Talked to one said hey as she walked passed
me: hey
*she turend* hey
me: sally?[I knew her name wasn't Sally, I did that on purpose, credit to gothamclub.com I think it was, will remove link if need to]
her: no. I'm xyz
me: ok looked familiar!
her: I get that a lot
big chat. she seemed interested but also had single mum and just left abusive partner so may need a shelter
she went to other section then came back to the section I was in. she asked for facebook i said whats yours etc and yeah but didnt add her.. But she seemed interested

Then approached another but she not single was foreign.


So now pub car park walking to entrance
One woman standing on steps another far off having smoke, woman on steps glasses nice niceish black pants red top, anyway eye contact you said h
me: hey
her: pause. nice scarf!
me: turned around. thank you.
her: gotta acknowledge a man in a scarf!
me: yeah. is there something on tonight?Usually not this busy here
Her: No just rowdy folk
Me: ok usually its quiet
her: its family night meals
Me: Oh true. are you single?[her friend/family had come out now]
her: pause Exceptionally single
me: Would like grab a coffee sometime
her: pause.... ahhhh maybe not!
her: Have a nice night
me: you too
Unsure why she said no if she seemed interested at first?


Then talked to one one her own middle aged she talked but was not in the mood, said nice night ignored.




Shops again aisle
Me: Hey
Her: Hey
Me: You're really pretty I had to say hi
Her: *smiled sort of* Ok
Me: Can't remember what I said here
Her: Ok
Me: nice to meet you
Her: Nice to meet you
Walked away all she said was ok? made me uncomfortable. maybe should have asked if single to be sure of intent


Another store another aisle
Me: Hey
Her: Hi barely
Me: Sorry you're really pretty had to say hi
Her: mumbled something?
Me: Have a nice night
Her: You too


Pub one on poker machine, she was not single. went to a club, said hows it going to a few sets , they said hey that was it. one woman i talked to a bit she was next to me by chance, got her facebook. Talked to another one at the end of the night nearly, and she was a lesbian. would not give number, she was 18 and was surprised how I was much older, but may not have been interested anyway. she moved from next to me to in front of me opposite me once the space cleared up eg other people left.




Shops struggled to talk but eventually a 5
you: excuse me *grabs milk in front of her*? hmm that was further into it, did you stand to the left over her originally? or did you stand to the right and go hows it going? or stand left, excuse me, then you were to the right?
you: do you dye your hair?
her: no
you: looks good
her: did she thanks?
you: i used to dye mine back in my younger days
her: yeah my cousin dyed hers she has pale skin and went black i didn't like it
me: oh yeah cause the colours? i think a hairdresser told me same thing
her: yeah back in the craze black with little red in it
me: a few years ago? I remember that
her: few years ago
*bit of silence*
me: excuse me *walked in front grab another now standing on her left side*
me: this the cheapest.
her: bla bla?
me: well they have that too but that's different.
me: are you single?
her: yes i am unfortunately
me ; what?
her: yes single unfortunately or something
me: oh that makes two of us!
me: are you a local?
her: yes not far from here. you?
me: not quite I'm a bit further south. this for the drive home
me: would you like to hangout grab a drink sometime?
her: yeah sure
me: do have phone on you?
her: *smiles* yes its in my hand
me: i can call my number from it
her: *grabs phone* whats your number
me: xyz
her: *calls me*
me: Oh I'm Rain
her: I'm Jessica
me: Shakes hand
Her; I better go, time limit[closing time soon]
me: cool. nice see ya
her: see ya
txt her later, she reply. But she then was sick when I asked for a date and asked to make it next week


Quiet night quiet Pub
2set on their own
Talked a bit, both had legit boyfriends. Took photo of themselves, I then suggested taking on of the three of us and stood with them but they both split , said they have boyfriends. I said but it would be all 3 of us! Thought it would be good for online maybe should have told them that. Anyway, they semed friendly ,didn't kino me but nearly did, eg one held arm out to touch me but didn't quite make it, I've done that myself but perhaps its also just friendly/flirty not interest.


Supermarket, did 2 approaches , both taken.
Got subway sandwich, asked worker out ,
Her : I have a boyfriend.
Me: oh you're not married, we can still get a drink
Her: Have a nice day *walked out of my view*


Read an article about how naturals talk to everyone its just their day, then went out and didn't really do any approaches. Too self conscious trying to be a natural. Maybe stick to cold approaching or whatever you're semicold seminatural is that gets you talking to people for now.


Supermarket aisle late?middle aged woman
Me: hows it going,
Her: good
Me: that good I'm just browsing
talked about tea bags a bit and identity theft, she said oh live xyz but stays friend for the work week here, her friend works in ??? and she is a public servant. and she didn't touch hold arm but touch slap arm. then said see ya. you found her again and said im leaving now going to abc supermarket. I enjoyed talking to you would you like to grab a drink? She said no sorry. no worries nice to meet you.

kmart
me:hows it going
her:good thanks
me:, dye hair?
her:no.
me:looks good.
she thanks? then walked away
then on other side one another turned up in toy section and
me: how going
her:good
me: I'm just browsing . Do dye hair
Her its natural
Me: oh true are you local
her: yes
Me: what you like about it?
Her:quiet
Me:yeah true that. are you single?
Her: no husband and kids at home i escaped for shopping.
Me: true you can get good deals. ill leave you to it

Walking out of the center, noticed woman walking same direction, let her catch up you pulled phone out,stopped, she then passed then walked a bit said excuse me with tone, she turned around after pause
Me: do you dye hair?
Her: yeah.
Me: oh looks good *walked next to her
Her:thanks.
Me used to dye mine when i was younger your local i take it
Her yeah.
Me: what do you like about it here
Her: just a good place
Me: me too. How old you reckon I am
Her: 30 s?
Me: good guess i better let you go[car park now]
would grab drink sometime?
Her: I gotta get to my boyfriend actually
Me: no worries





Oh right, you did do one approach in a different kmart It think, she not single
Then did one that was standing in the mall center, she was single but here with sister. you asked to hangout a second time, she said no sorry then began to walk.
Then zipped jacket up, went into chemist,woman walked in, but kept walking around so you browsed a bit then decided go talk to her walked passed then next,
Me:hows it going ?
Her: Good thanks
ME: I'm just browsing? do you dye hair?
HEr: yeah i do?
Me: looks good I used to be blonde
Her: oh thanks cover those greys
ME: I hadn't noticed any greys *back of finger arm touch*
her bla bla?
Me: so you're a local i guessing?
Her: yeah i am?
Me: oh true do you know xyz?
Her: yeah my father? grew up in xyzzz if from xyz you'll know xyzzz
Me: yep I do my friends partner is from there!
pause?
Me: Are you single?
Her yes
ME: that makes two of us!
pause?
Me: Id like to get to know you would hangout sometime
Her thinking smile half frown eg thinking?
Her: only live once why not
Me: long as don't think I'm murderer back of finger arm touch
her: extends hand I'm Sharon
me: squeeze I'm Rain nice to meet
Her: I didn't think someone have confidence to talk to me in chemist
Me: oh true I used to do a lot of online, and with blonde hair
talked about online a a bit
her: ill have grab your number i have to go get eyebrows done before miss appointment
she put it in her phone
you said call
she will text so know who is. also said she going away for two weeks on cruise on sat. once every 3x months so that why getting hair eyebrows done.
you're on fb too use it much,
her: nah only minimally
me :think i said same
her: we just keep to number.
me: *sees her txt*
her i gotta get going miss appointment. *extends hand* nice to meet you
me *squeeze hand again you too


Then went into another shop one woman walked so did same thing walked passed, she like one blonde earlier bit hard to hear you have to work on that, very beautiful, slight accent, but not single.You did one more in that shop but she had to get back to work so she left before you asked if single

Approaches over the last few days

missed heaps, too self conscious and/or too tired. But did eventually do one normal one eg how going, her good im just eating these havent had lunc[she was eating in the aisle lol chips or somethign],hair dye, single? She was not single but was pretty blonde.

Next day
Did one, not single
Did another one, think she walked away?
Walking one, usual but she kept walking so didnt chance to ask out after talking about hair

another approach, usual how going, hair dye, local, single? but married
another approach usual but asked if go out someone shorter than you? She said what kind of question is that lol. anyway she was single but didn't want toget a drink. I persisted and said I made her laugh and that would help what she going through but again 'not a good time' may have tried once more eg just 5mins drink but not a good time. So I left

Another one, usual routine, she was 23, but she had a bf, I said oh so not married we can get a drink, she pionted to her stomach she pregnant so serious with him. Asked how they met, she was a housemate of someone who they went to a big music thing inthe car or something. anyway I left.

Another one, married
Another one bit older, been in relationship for 12years with2x kids. She met him in highschool.

One walking next to me i let her catchup, usual but she not single, so not married grab drink? no its ok she said.
Another one, she walked away after I opened or something
Another one, was walking away after hair opener but asked are you single as she walked she said no partnered.
Another one,same
Another one, walked away after opener.


Next day
Bad start no approaches. Then how are you 2x
Then did usual but didn't risk rejection she was maybe too curvy/not your type
How are you another one but then phone rang she said darling etc so her partner
Then missed as usual then asked one usual but with how old and then but she married
Then same place,asked worker wasnt sure if worker but realised and asked anyway as someone had opened sugar so pointed that out, she lots makeup, said had boyfriend I said so not married or no asked is serious she said awww kinda? then said drink she said dont dirnk. you said soft drink. she said aww naaaa.
woman waiting asked if kmart open and then usual, single she said her partner 22years broke up3weeks ago, talked more but yeah she didnt want to hangout but said you made her night.

I also met a cold approach woman for a date,but yeah not my type. I predict a similar thing with another one that will maybe meet when she gets back from her cruise, although I do think I would like her more than the one I met today. Well at least I can get dates from cold approach but so far, through sheer numbers, internet dating has gotten me better results, not by much but 6 or 7 eg more attractive as opposed to 5s only from cold approach.

TODAY
Asked dry cleaner if she work full time or if she on school holidays, she said work here full time but study too. Asked if she single she said what? Said single she said no she had boyfriend.

Friday
1x asian how are you she stop by chance for nanna waiting. said you weren't sure if she was related she said her step nana? anyway asked if single she said no.

2x Womens clothing store got my friend to come in with me so I didn't feel out of place, need to practise this on own in female clothing store/section, did usual eg hair, did not ask local? then asked how old, she 19 then single.she not so then ask how old you are she got into your spare and said 28 you said good guess but then told her early 30s and she said picking up young ones eh. anyway she did say she was exclusive so yeah. Oh and you said you better chance since skinny, guess you can see through the layering of clothes? Something to work on? She said yeah. She keep shopping

3x she twirled hair? but was married. or was the hair thing a usual? can't read your txt wrong spelling lol.
Talked to one in toy section but you didn't ask out as not your type
4x Then middle age one, she single yes but off spring ,you said not now later, she said no number but fb. so added her on fb.
5x You standing said excuse me as she walked, do dye hair, yes, local, oh yeah are single? no

6x walking to you, you said excuse me
her oh... hello [sign of interest or startled unsure]
Asked if dye hair, used dye mine, asked if single, she said yes but was hesitant, me too... I'm rain. shook her hand she did not say her name. Then ask her her name. nice to meet you. then ask her work or told her my work. Then she had to go, asked for drink she said no I'm good thanks.

7x Do dye hair? Yes,
me: Looks good!
Her: Thanks
me: are you local *she had walked away*

8x walking? excuse me, are you single? Her: No

9x Excuse me... are single?
Her: Yes
me: That makes two of us
me I'm rain *handshake*
her: I'm Jess
Me: I'm just browing
her: she browsing for friend kid.
me: are you local?
her: yeah
me: True I'm a bit further south. Would grab drink some time?
her: Maybe if its not too far for me to drove
me: nah wont be.
Then chat a bit more
me: Got your phone on you? *gives phone and I call myself*
me: I better keep moving


Saturday
2x half approaches eg how are you but no risk rejection. Friend did similar

1x Asked if dye hair, then if single, not single
2x One walking, excuse me... are you single? her: No
half? How are you? Her: Good and kept walking

3x walking one excuse me... are you single? She said no? Looked half smiled half frowned half scrunched face and did the wave thing with her hands as if no or to wave me away or couldn't believe I'd ask that.

4xExcuse me... are you single? Her: No I'm married

5x Woman turned around as I walked near looked said hey to her she said hey and as we passed I turned around and said "do you dye your hair?" Her "No." Me: "Looks good" Her"Thanks" Me"are you single?" her: No.

6x Me: How r u
Her: Good and you
me good thanks do you dye your hair?
her: yeah i do
me: Looks good .regrowth look hairdresser told me looks good
her: yeah you do get that
me: Are you single?
Her: Yeah but I'm not looking for anything
me: One drink for 5mins
her: I'm with grandparents sorry
me: Doesn't have to be now can be next week
her: No and *she walked away*
me: no worries
7x asked middle aged but attractive usual dye hair, local, and are single? She not single

8x me: hows going her: good and you me: yeah goo.d you must get a lot of UV light with those sunnies inside!
her: can't remember if she said
me: i know some people from out quieter places where sunnies if they smoke stuff. im not a cop
her: *takes sunnies off* see eyes are fine!
me: are you single?
her: No I'm married
9x Asked hair, then asked if single, she said no but very flattered.
10x woman how going good you? me: Good thanks work here? her: no. me: Oh ok couldn't tell with the basket there.
me: ask hair dye etc,then ask if single, but not single. ok nice to meet you

11x middle have win unsure what I meant here lol. Then asked if single she was not single.


Sunday
1x excuse me *grabs toy* sorry I'm just browsing
me: do you dye your hair?
her: yeah I do. used to be black my natural colour
me: Oh looks really pretty. I used to dye mine blond but as you can see now its not.
her: I used to be black my natural colour yeah yours is now light brown?
me: yeah or ash
me: Are you single?
her: yes [she may have smiled a bit or not can't remember]
me: That makes two of us [I smiled]
her: I guess you want my number?
me: Yeah grab a name first *swapped baskets held out right hand*
me: I'm Rain
her: I'm Ally *shake hand*
me: Oh are you local?
her: Yes.
me: OH good me too, just sometimes people way out
me: Oh one other thing do you drive?
her: No I don't
me : *look of shock* There must be a good reason though *smile*
her: I don't have a car
me: That's a good reason! *Qualification/qualify?*
me: Have you got your phone on you?
her: *Grab's phone* whats your number
me: xyz
me: any plans for xmas new years?
her : spend with family , got 2weeks off work
me: I see you chose the lime orange toy!
her: Yeah its for my daughter
me: Oh yeah. My friend had a baby recently but male.. I'll better finish shopping and give you a call sometime
her: see ya


Monday
McDonalds could have talked to fellow customer even if she not that great but chickened out.

Tuesday
1x walking excuse me... do dye hair? Her: Yes. ME: Looks really pretty. I used to be blonde myself, got that regrowth look. Her: Thanks and walked away.
2x One standing on street. Did the hair thing then asked if single , she not single. No worries nice to meet you her: Have a nice night
3x Woman on own in bar[was waiting for friend] How are you going? Her : Good you? Me Good. Do you dye your hair? Her : can't remember . Me Looks good. Are single? Her : no i have a boyfriend.
me: Oh ok i saw a guy here earlier next to you thought he was it
her: nah that's not him.
me: well anyway yeah no harm in asking
her: We can be friends
Me: yeah[can't remember
Then her friend and boyfriend came, shook boyfriend hand and then said not from here and asked if they were they were not either, anyway they then left and said see you later.

Tried calling woman from last week a few days ago, it went straight to voicemail. She had not replied icebreaker or next day txt, I'm guessing this one blocked and gave number as to nice to say no.
Woman middle age who gave facebook accepted the request,chatted, but asked her out next day and no reply
I tried calling woman from friday who didn't reply icebreaker or next day txt, rang out and sent a txt, still no reply.
Woman from sunday, replied my icebreaker txt, but not the txt after that. Tried calling 2x days later, rang out, sent txt instead of leaving message, no reply.

Wednesday
1x walking with trolley in shop. I said excuse me, did the hair dye thing, talked a bit, not single.

Sunday night went out
1x me standing at bar woman next to you
me: How going
her: good you
me: Brings out tonight?
Her: new years. you?
me: yeah same here.
Her: just got back from Canada?
me: Would you recommend it a place to visit?
her: yeah I would What do you do for work
me: I do bla bla
Her: Thats good danger money that
me: Yeah Areyou single?
her: yes
me: that makes two of us! im rain
her: im hername
me: do like this music
her: nah
me: i reckon its alright
her: i like older stuff
me: you local?
her: nah fromxyz
me: I goto xyz sometimes we could grab a drink there
her: how old are you
me: I'm 33
her: Oh wow. I'm 23.
me: oh true.
her :Thought it would be cool to say that it rhymes?
her: Wont give number but offered facebook
me: i said i don't look threatening do I?
her: said last guy got creepy she did that too
I didn't take her facebook. Probably should have since I'm still learning and she did ask me about work so who knows if that's interest or polite conversation

Talked to a few guys during night too

One approach again different bar she by chance next to me? I think I talked to her first or she me can't remember exactly may have been me. I wasn't feeling 100% maybe that played a role,I dunno anyway I had to go to bathroom so didn't ask for details as yeah she was maybe too fat.
She asked about work and made conversation though

1x approach outside subway but she not keen not dating right now. Did the hair thing and asked if liked the music, but her bodylanguage said not interested so even though she was single, she said 'not dating right now'.
me: Do you date guys who used to dye their hair?
her: I'm not wanting to date right now
me: Nice to meet you

1x approach outside club she said let you know then asked how and got number
Excuse me, do dye hair?
Her no
me really?
Her yeah
Me looks good i used to dye mine
her i used to but it wrecks it. idd you bleach yours
me : yeah
her don't do that
me: what brings out tonight
her: work and then friends and they left or around somewhere
me: true. you work at the club here or?
her: no i have full time job and part time job
me: cool
Me: do like this music?
her no prefer different music
me: are you single?
her: do i look single?
me: i dunno how to tell if someone is single *touches her arm*
her: do i look single?
me: maybe????
her: I am single.
me: that makes two of us!
her: its hard to have a relationship be cause i want to travel
talked a bit bout travel she travels like once every 12months and goes away for months at a time
her friend turned up, he talked her a bit then she said had to go, I asked to hangout or grab drink next week, she said would let me know.... i said how? i think my phone was out so she or i got her to call her, i said don't call a random... she got her phone to show it was legit
Sent her an icebreaker but waited too long[eg next day as i was not feeling 100%] so have not heard back so far

1x approach again on the street but she was not single
This was 2 women and a guy, i said excuse me,sorry interrupt looked at woman do you dye your hair?
her: yeah i do
me: looks really nice
her: *smiles* oh thank you
turned to the guy and pointed to him and to her at same time, eg arrows left and right, not direct points, and said "are yous two.... *pause*" ...'together?' they both said no! So i then talked to her again. Credit goes to Chase for that in this thread about opening groups and stuff but this particular example is if you want to find out if a guy is her boyfriend or not who is with her.
me: what brings you out tonight?
her: new years eve. you?
me: same here. do you like that sort of music?
me: are you local?
her: im from xyz and my friend here is from abc and i dunno where the guy is from who shes maccin[they were making out lol]. who are you out with?
me: solo
her: that's so sad. what were you family and friends up to tonight?
me: I have a friend in abc who thought about going out but he would rather climb a mountain or something. or he did last year but he didn't want to head out this year.
me: are you a big drinker?
her: yeah I gained 14lbs from drinking recently
me: are you single?
her: no I'm married
me: oh true. Wheres your partner?
her: at home playing xbox
me: why don't you play with him?
her: its not for me. he's in the military so spends a lot of time away and when he gets back he just wants to relax and be a good dad too.
me: Well I should leave you to it
her: happy new year see you around... see you
me: see you

So yeah not heard back from the woman but I think its unlikely given she said would let you know and I think only gave number out of politeness.
Woman from 2weeks ago is now back from her cruise and wants to meet. But I'm still not sure she is fully my type or close enough to my ideal but will see how it goes with her anyway.

Tuesday
said hows going but she on way to taxi. But then missed a few others, did talk to one, hair dye, then local, then she yes and then walked away. had chances to do other walking ones but too shy

Thursday
Missed walking one. But she went into shop. So I went into shop and stood next in store and asked hair dye, then looks pretty then she arms folded ,then used to dye mine, then so this is all the good stuff pointing to the aisle we were in, she looking for tv aerial but its all over her head, you said I don't work here, she said neither does she,

asked if single, she said yes she is. you said that makes two of us
me: local,
her: yes
me: why not bigger city? most people say go there
her: she likes it here
me: Asked if grab drink?
her: she looked and cringed a bit then said she doesn't even know your name
me: I'm rain and did you hold out hand? she then said i know you do you have sisters/
you folded arms said yeah then she said names and she said you and her had talked online before
then talked a bit about how she know you but never met? and talked online and yeah arms unfolded by now
then she offered number you said is phone on you yeah she asked yours and called it
then yeah talked about blonde hair in photos and was at wedding she introduced the wedding couple to eaCh other!
then talked you wouldn't do this 2years ago too shy.
her: what changed?
me: took little steps to get over it
her: said she usually very talkative
me: said she must be able to meet a lot of guys then if very talkative dont need online dating or said something
her said not really, she comes across intimidating apparently and said so good on you or did well or something.
then had to go,s ee you
nice to talk to you rain
Did the icebreaker txt, she replied.
The next day asked if she found item, she did and said thank you
Then asked if grab that drink.
Next day she said no because too complicated knowing sisters and was sorry
I said no worries and all good.


Saturday
Two set poker machine
Tall one and short one
tall one excuse me, do you dye hair?
her yes
me looks really pretty
her thanks
me holds hand I'm rain
her I'm xyz
me holds hand to friend I'm rain
her friend I'm xyz2
me so what brings you out tonight?
her drinking lol
me oh true. I'm not a big drinker myself
conversation dying? Its hard to remember
me: would you ever go out with someone taller than you?
her: I can't remember what she said
her friend its hard to find someone shorter than me [her arms defensive may have been since start]
me how tall are you?
her friend 5'3
me if i was to go out with someone taller id get them to wear high heels
her friend did you come here with friends or alone?
me solo
her oh solo
me yeah was going to go with friend in city but we postponed it
me do you have a boyfriend?
her no
me that makes two of us!
her friend I was seeing someone for a while, but saw 3 or 4 times, [she ran her hand through her hair, but still kept her arms crossed, so maybe the hair thing she still likes her ex but not the present company hence arms crossed? dont know] and said he just stopped texting her. and then talked about how needs to be taken somewhere not just 'his place' for a date.
you well anything can be a date. i meet out somewhere then go to nice park or gardens
her friend yeah that's a date
me: been anywhere else tonight?
her friend yeah went to abc earlier. we were disappointed no cute guys out tonight[in my head must mean im not cute then ,or if so, why would you say something like that? Stupid or lacking social skills]
*they were getting up to move on*
me am i a cute guy?
her :yes you are
me could i grab your contact details? i may have said face book number or she didn't hear
her friend no we just going to leave but have a good night.
Thought because the friend kept talking and ran hand through hair may have liked me, but maybe should have asked to meet in the city and then gardens then ask for number. But she was folded arms whole time anyway so maybe not.
And since it was the tall one that seemed like she wanted to leave and didn't keep conversation going that's why I didn't ask her out.

Another one on pokies machine.
one set hair, what brings out, husband cousins party. So ejected. walked around street block later saw her holding hands husband nothing bad happened.

Did one approach but didn't risk rejection she seemed uninterested.

Not been in the zone to approach lately some reason.

Did do one more https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=16824&p=89333#p89333

So yeah glad I did that one, would not have done that 2 years or more ago, still need to get into the zone more.

Did meet the woman who went on a cruise, didn't seem to go well, she had her arms folded most of the time. She did run both hands through her hair a few times though. Been a month since we first met, and I have facial hair now where as before I didn't, so maybe its that or I dunno. Either way, will keep approaching.

Went out saturday night

Didn't talk much in smoking downstairs, too shy, then upstairs a little bit as you do smoking area, one guy looked familiar met at different place few weeks ago, then talked to his gf as he went off downstairs, thats right she grabbed shirt/ass said dont walk away ie she didnt want to be alone, then yeah other people came over that she knew. Should have asked her fb or something or got her to introduce to her friends.

Skinny middle age woman wanted to dance you declined. and another dude said hey couple others,
Then downstais, did eventually talk to one, thought was with guy but they just friends? she from ages away but lives here now, then you didnt say anymore so she wlked away to see friend. Then talked to another bloke, You also talked to another woman[fat though] who yeah her and friends came to your table, and but you thought she may have been with guy from earlier who came up with her and that older skinny woman. but then he ended up with that purple dress woman, who was with another guy earlier we thought. So yeah, its not always what it seems... women with a guy doens't mean it's her partner. Talk to people and find out.

Also talked to a guy on street, then his friend came over talked to her, asked if together, they were not. She was possibly too fat but ran her hands through her hair twice when looking at me while I talked. Should have closed for reference to see if was legit IOI. They had to go so thought not enough rapport or whatever, maybe should have tried anyway due to the hair thing. I did miss other sets during the night.

Hey Rain,

Good to see you're overcoming approach anxiety. Day game takes a lot of courage, so hats off!

In particular I took notice of how you've approached a male+female set, middle-aged women, and women when they are with their kid. I've been reluctant to go in in those situations but I'm working with a smaller demographic (mostly into black women and they're 9% here) so I really need to be willing to take less ideal situations like that.

Question: Some of your approaches in shopping venues seem to start with the woman excusing herself for getting in your way. Are you positioning yourself on purpose in some way so as to get her to be in your way? If so, that's an interesting idea and I'm interested in whether you've found certain ways to do it best.

As for critique, one thing stands out to me. You ask if the girl's single quite religiously. (As well as dyed hair, lol.) I have some thoughts on that which I'll share just to give you something to think about, not meaning to be overly critical! Sorry for the long post on here but hopefully you find this useful.

On one hand I can appreciate the strategy. It shows intent, it's bold, and it quickly filters out girls you'll lose to availability. On the other hand, it has some serious flaws and I'm pretty sure will blow out some opportunities you could've taken otherwise!

I know one of the top guys here swears by it, and as I said it does have some merits. But remember that if a guy's game is otherwise strong enough, he can get away with some pretty stupid moves, so just because a particular guy has great success with a given tactic, doesn't make it a great tactic. (Even A/B testing is not strong proof, oweing to observer-expectancy effect.)

I once read a piece elsewhere which made a pretty strong case against asking this. If that was my only evidence I wouldn't even bring it up, but my own experience and science seem to lean that way, too. The gist was that low value males place a lot of emphasis on whether or not a girl is single, ignoring the fact that most attractive women have something that at least roughly fills the BF role until something better comes along. Asking that question therefore communicates a lack of understanding of how the game really works - something you absolutely don't want to do.

Some of my best successes have been with women who weren't single, and this isn't surprising. Single women are shopping for providers, whereas taken ones are shopping for lovers. (There's biology behind that.) Provider is a harder role to win, and not the one that necessarily wins genetically even when it is won.

Heck, I had a girl's BF call her while she was with me, and the way she lied about where she was and brushed him off without an ounce of affection made me almost feel sorry for him. Had I asked if she was single when we met, she'd have said "no."

I suspect had I asked her, "happily," she'd have probably said "yes," and that would have been that. Being in an unhappy relationship isn't something anyone's going to be proud of, so there's little chance they're going to admit it to a virtual stranger, much less in public. She also may have feelings for him that prevent her from belittling him overtly, whilst still being willing to cheat.

I think that once you've asked if she's single, even if you ask her out anyway she's going to decline due to the frame you have set 1. of trying to be a BF, and 2. of feeling that a girl should ideally be single in order to be pursued, making her a slut if she goes along with you.

I once got a date with a married woman who hooked easily on cold approach, and critically I did not ask her if she was single, I just went for it! On the date she tried to invite herself to my place but I was unfortunately too dense and/or too socialized to realize it in the moment. That was the day I truly stopped giving a shit about a girl's relationship status!

Claiming to have a boyfriend could also be a test. It quite efficiently filters out low value males who don't understand the game.

As some of your interactions show, it also invites the girl to reciprocate the question, and "yes" is not necessarily a strategic answer from the viewpoint of preselection.

Consider that if a girl really, truly isn't available, it'll fizzle soon enough anyway without you asking. You can't seduce a woman who doesn't want to be seduced. True you won't know if it was your game or her availability at fault, but, really, you won't know that either way.

Of course, how you take this might depend on your cultural and religious beliefs. That is your own choice; I'm just offering one perspective.

For me, I've seen way too much science to take monogamy all that seriously. (Not that I would ever be dishonest!) Extra pair paternity studies in both humans and animals, sperm competition, human phallic structure being consistent with the least monogamous primates, women being more likely to orgasm in extra-pair sex and being more likely to cheat when ovulating, women having preferences for different male traits at different times of the menstrual cycle, highly divergent preferences for husbands vs. lovers... it's all just too much in my view, so my policy on polygamy became, if you can't beat it, join it. And I used to be a monogamy posterchild. Embracing nature has been liberating.

With all that said, I'm not going to say don't ever use that line, because it might work for you if it happens to gel with your style. But I do think you should experiment more with not using it, just to see how things play out!

Phoenix

ThePhoenix said:

Question: Some of your approaches in shopping venues seem to start with the woman excusing herself for getting in your way. Are you positioning yourself on purpose in some way so as to get her to be in your way? If so, that's an interesting idea and I'm interested in whether you've found certain ways to do it best.

As for critique, one thing stands out to me. You ask if the girl's single quite religiously. (As well as dyed hair, lol.) I have some thoughts on that which I'll share just to give you something to think about, not meaning to be overly critical! Sorry for the long post on here but hopefully you find this useful.

On one hand I can appreciate the strategy. It shows intent, it's bold, and it quickly filters out girls you'll lose to availability. On the other hand, it has some serious flaws and I'm pretty sure will blow out some opportunities you could've taken otherwise!

I know one of the top guys here swears by it, and as I said it does have some merits. But remember that if a guy's game is otherwise strong enough, he can get away with some pretty stupid moves, so just because a particular guy has great success with a given tactic, doesn't make it a great tactic. (Even A/B testing is not strong proof, oweing to observer-expectancy effect.)

I once read a piece elsewhere which made a pretty strong case against asking this. If that was my only evidence I wouldn't even bring it up, but my own experience and science seem to lean that way, too. The gist was that low value males place a lot of emphasis on whether or not a girl is single, ignoring the fact that most attractive women have something that at least roughly fills the BF role until something better comes along. Asking that question therefore communicates a lack of understanding of how the game really works - something you absolutely don't want to do.

Some of my best successes have been with women who weren't single, and this isn't surprising. Single women are shopping for providers, whereas taken ones are shopping for lovers. (There's biology behind that.) Provider is a harder role to win, and not the one that necessarily wins genetically even when it is won.

Heck, I had a girl's BF call her while she was with me, and the way she lied about where she was and brushed him off without an ounce of affection made me almost feel sorry for him. Had I asked if she was single when we met, she'd have said "no."

I suspect had I asked her, "happily," she'd have probably said "yes," and that would have been that. Being in an unhappy relationship isn't something anyone's going to be proud of, so there's little chance they're going to admit it to a virtual stranger, much less in public. She also may have feelings for him that prevent her from belittling him overtly, whilst still being willing to cheat.

I think that once you've asked if she's single, even if you ask her out anyway she's going to decline due to the frame you have set 1. of trying to be a BF, and 2. of feeling that a girl should ideally be single in order to be pursued, making her a slut if she goes along with you.

I once got a date with a married woman who hooked easily on cold approach, and critically I did not ask her if she was single, I just went for it! On the date she tried to invite herself to my place but I was unfortunately too dense and/or too socialized to realize it in the moment. That was the day I truly stopped giving a shit about a girl's relationship status!

Claiming to have a boyfriend could also be a test. It quite efficiently filters out low value males who don't understand the game.

As some of your interactions show, it also invites the girl to reciprocate the question, and "yes" is not necessarily a strategic answer from the viewpoint of preselection.

Consider that if a girl really, truly isn't available, it'll fizzle soon enough anyway without you asking. You can't seduce a woman who doesn't want to be seduced. True you won't know if it was your game or her availability at fault, but, really, you won't know that either way.

Of course, how you take this might depend on your cultural and religious beliefs. That is your own choice; I'm just offering one perspective.

For me, I've seen way too much science to take monogamy all that seriously. (Not that I would ever be dishonest!) Extra pair paternity studies in both humans and animals, sperm competition, human phallic structure being consistent with the least monogamous primates, women being more likely to orgasm in extra-pair sex and being more likely to cheat when ovulating, women having preferences for different male traits at different times of the menstrual cycle, highly divergent preferences for husbands vs. lovers... it's all just too much in my view, so my policy on polygamy became, if you can't beat it, join it. And I used to be a monogamy posterchild. Embracing nature has been liberating.

With all that said, I'm not going to say don't ever use that line, because it might work for you if it happens to gel with your style. But I do think you should experiment more with not using it, just to see how things play out!

Phoenix

Click to expand...

Hey Phoenix,

Hasn't happened recently but if I remember correctly, they may have been already in the aisle and I would stand near them and pick something and look at it,and then they say excuse me if they wanted to look at an item from the area I was standing in.

I do the hair dye thing as it gets me 'in set', especially if I am not in a social mood! The are you single risks rejection and shows intentions. Perhaps I can try 'you're really pretty and had to say hi' and go from there. or indirect direct as well eg 'can you tell me where xyz is?' her ah its right there in front of you me 'oh so it is. you're quite pretty and i had to say hi introduce myself'.

But certainly, you make some interesting points. Not saying I'm perfect but I don't know if I'd want to go after a woman that had a guy as a boyfriend if they were sleeping together, eg what if he found out and stuff. I may feel guilty or something too. Still, I can ask a woman out without asking if shes single, and like you said if she isn't keen she will let me know anyway, so I can give it a try and see if I get any better results or not. If it gets me better results and she isn't sleeping with anyone exclusively then I should keep doing that. If she is exclusive with someone, well I don't know about that one. Haven't tried it recently, so will have to get to it, along with asking out in front of other people, that's another big one.

SATURDAY NIGHT AT PUB/CLUB with wingman

A 2 set sitting on own.
me: excuse me or hey
me: do you dye hair
her: used to or partly
me: oh true used to dye mine
me: had that regrowth look
me: im rain
her *shake her hand amber and her friend
me: what brings out tonight?
her friend something something?
me: oh yeah im chilling with my friend *(points to friend*
me: do think looks like bon jovi?
her: bla bla
me:should I invite him over?
her: why not
*my friend came over*
*he shake hands*
then some random guy comes over and asked him something ,then talked to the woman,
then the woman said we're twins or we're something I dunno if talking her or me and my friend
anyway the guy then said marry me to her and walked off lol
anyway then the 2set said we going to xyz see ya


2set
only 1 was good looking so i said was going to introduce my friend but hes gone, maybe later
and yeah, see I felt bad if i only approached the good one as I actually said hi to the one I wasnt keen on first... need to work on that, stop caring so much about others feelings



2set
another 2set sitting down
me: excuse me or hey
her: hey
me: do you dye hair
her yes
me: looks good or looks really pretty
her: thanks
i used to dye mine, get that regrowth look
her: bla bal
me: what bringso ut tonight?
her: just with my bestie and put her arm around blonde
me: see my friend over there, look like bon jovi? *points to him*
her: bit hard to tell from this far away
me: maybe invite him over?
her: we aren't here long just waiting friends in bathroom
her friend blonde :see ya
me: seems quiet er here tonight[I think I'd already decdied to start talking at same time her friend said see ya]
them: bla bla
me: nice meet you
them: see ya



fat woman on her own
talked a bit, asked if has partner, she did and was waiting for her friends and him who were at a concert
so said nice talk she said you too? or see ya and i said say hi if see you around



said hey to a woman walking maybe not loud enough
same again later.


TUESDAY
In line to get subway although it wasnt busy
asked woman out subway line behind/next to me, she a fat though so. but anyway , dye hair?,then used to dye mine. then are single? no. thought so as car in parking has headlights on.
then she asked you if you like sheldon[I was wearing a bazinga shirt]. you said not much but like the show. I mentioned a different show was better though. then nice to meet you after

THURSDAY
Woman in front at atm, fat woman tiny cute or I was in mood to do approach or id think easy and i was horny? anyway at the atm bank machine, after she finished you said all good? she said yep
me: dye hair?
her: yeah i do *touches her own hair*
me: looks good
her: thanks
me: used to dye mine and/or are you single
her: no
me: thats how it goes sometimes