It's raining

Woman from a cold approach, afew months ago, she went cold never heard back. She contacted me recently and went on a date tonight. She didn't pay for her drink when she left mid date. She opened me with big close hug[eg her breast against me and it was long] but when sat down her arms folded. During the conversation she did look at me and twirl her hair a few times. Then other times had arms folded. Other times just had open arm body language. Also fidgeted with her drink straw a bit. So a bit 50 50 on if she actually liked me. I read on another forum/site about how its better to sit next to a woman then opposite her. She was more open in the seated next to each other seating position as we had to move inside. Well it was kinda an angle but anyway.

So after this went for a walk, woman sitting on street. I said hows it going? No response
I said HELLO? she looked up
me: Do you dye your hair?
her: yes
me: looks good
her *looks back down at phone*
me have a nice night.
perhaps should have walked over or is there too much disinterest already?

woman walking towards me
me hows it going
her hi
me do you dye your hair?
her yes
me looks good
her thanks. *walked away*
me are you single?
her yes just now. *keeps walking*
me bit louder 'ok why dont we go grab a drink?'
her over there? at xyz?
me yeah thats where i was headed
her no just came from there just broke up with boyfriend.
me *walks up to her* oh ok well we wont do that then
her sorry I'm annoyed. *holds out her hand* I'm xyz
me: shakes hand, im rain
her so whats your story
me well just had someone walk out on me too
talked a bit suggested getting drink not where either of us just were. she mentioend she lives in the city so walks. maybe should have asked drink at hers?
anyway suggested give her a lfit to a pub out of town but not far
she was fine with that
at one point during walk she did touch my arm/jacket
then talked about how wish i had of said hey, you havent paid for drink with my earlier date, and next time.
her: then after that she grabbed arm jacket second time said sorry this appened twice to you tonight but im just gonna goto xyz pub.
me: youre going to go there and drink without anyone?
her: yeah know some bartenders
me: okay have you got your phone on you?
her: yes i do pulls out puts number. she saved my name as a name that rhymes on accident. I said that can be my nickname! Got her to call
her: You know im too old for you right?" she may have said "you know you're too young for me right?"
me how old am I?
her: I'm 40.
me how old am i?
her you're mid twenties. how old are you?
me: I'm 33
me: asked if night owl morning person
her: she up at 640 but goes bed 1030
*grabs hand pulls her in close* i felt like i could kiss but went for hug... too shy? so put her hand on my shoulder and said
me: so you dont goto bed that late then? or something
her: bla bla hugged me have a good night. said to txt her.

Txt her 30mins later
me: Hey. Hows xyz pub going? Rain here or would that be "the rain" [real nickname removed]
her: all good
me: Good good.I got some subway yum! Whats your plans rest of the night
her: Going home need to sleep off all my emotions
me: Thats right your asleep by 1030 was it
her:
me: What are you grinning at
her: U remembering
herX2 Goodnight the rain nickname

So I guess I'll try and get a date with this woman but yeah nothing to lose really.

Rain,

Your doing a great job overcoming your AA slow and steady, especially in daygame. Kudos man.

Just nosed through your journal a bit, so a bit a feedback.

Whats with the dye your hair bit? I can't believe you use that for every single approach haha, it doesn't seem to be working for you... like at all, other than getting the conversation started and quickly ended. Perhaps try changing it up a bit, maybe model something like Liam McRae's game with a little more energy and spontaneity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYtktdchSxU (just watch through all his infield for inspiration, if you haven't already). Or if you want something more assholey vibe watch and model the conversation of good looking loser https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmp2zBSKESM&index=2&list=PL4W31lBYTxhXC2Xt7Gi_CDyU9IAS-K4JX. He even has a whole video series of "nervous guy newbie game".

Secondly your getting the "I have a boyfriend" quite a bit immediately after you ask "are you single?". What's happening is that the girls aren't much sold on you after your first bit of conversation and then your basically asking them "hey I know its only been 20 seconds but are you attracted enough to keep investing MORE time into seeing if I'm a super badass stud?" and the answer in your case is NO, so its just easy for them to tell you they have a boyfriend and you politely go away.

You need to have super solid fundamentals and a sexy vibe down to ask "are you single?" and consistently get yesses, otherwise its just an easy out for girls who are unsure. Instead of giving girls an easy way out why not just give a light compliment to display your interest and move on from there into basic conversation similar to the videos above.

Your doing good in your approaches (your consistent at least), I just think you need to vary your approach up a bit rather than do the same thing that's not working for you over and over again. (I didn't read every single interaction but the first 5 posts you used the same routine and when I read the last post you were still using the same routine).

Keep it up though man, your pretty diligent in your discipline so once you find the tweaks that go best with your current style you'll start picking up traction and getting more dates in no time.

Cheers man!
-Rob

Hey Mr.Rob,

Good to get feedback. Yeah the hair dye... I guess I can give them a compliment regardless of if its actually dyed or not, so I'm building their value, making them feel good irrelevant if they like me, so at least it gets me talking indirect approach. Also I've done it so many times now it's like my go to line if I'm stalling too much to start approaching.

I dunno if you linked to the video of a skinny guy there on purpose or not but good to see a skinny guy do some approaches and also the bad reactions too and an example of what you mean with small talk.

I did a few approaches recently and mostly avoided asking if they were single to break that habit Just need to say, excuse me, you look really pretty and I had to say hi, or amazing hair or whatever, it's just very direct but also instant rejection or have to deal with their reaction, I believe I can do it, I just need to keep at it. Here are some of my recent approaches


2 weeks ago
Did one direct approach. Said excuse me she in shopping aisle, she said yes?
me you look amazing i had to say hi
her thanks *turns away*
me are you a local?
her ahh no *turns away*
me nice to meet you

street walking towards each toher
excuse me
her yeah
me do you dye your hair
her yes
me looks good
her thanks
me soo.... are you local?
her im here with my boyfriend *puts her psalm/arm out behind her with a guy walking up*
me nice to meet you


This week
at clubs/pubs
One woman grabbed or just touched scarf said something.... dunno what, but later yeah think she was with a guy. Should have aksed dye hair and then if she was with him bro.

Ok, so eye contact with one when you were walking between two clubs joined together, she was sitting, then later her and older woman in pokies so you asked hair dye, she said no looked away, you said looks good, she thankyou looked back at screen, you said mother daughter, older woman said no, you then said would you like to dance afteryour game finished? She said no. No worries have good night.

street approaches
did one she out for smoke asked to guess name and then where she from and if she permanent and then she ewalked away saying she just came out toclear her throat or something so yeah not keen? she did play with her hair but only briefly.

Another one. Was a worker at that bar. hair dye. then talked a bit if she travel forget she said something and I joked you're not a stalker right and I had both hands with index? point finger pointing out and I thenmoved arms from intwards to outwards and she said no she not, her left foot was pointed away though ,she also played hair at one point. she then had to go her uber.

Another one. She stood next to you waiting at traffic lights, talked a bit, asked game of pool, she said not very good, you said i can play left handed she said no its ok. so left it.

and then one in line at maccas in front, you touched her arm or tapped arm or shoulder and did the hair thing then asked what bringsout and then yeah her turn to be served you walked away. just realised you did that inline with a guy behind you,you have come a long way! and 2set men in front of her, one looked at her like he keen but he didn't approach and I did!

then you did another woman just on street , she and her friend standing near so you walked over and ask hair dye, then what brings out then she pointed her friend, look back at phone, you said just hanging out she said yeah.

So I'm getting a lot that seem to be not that keen.... or not hooking, except maybe the one that grabbed the scarf.


Today
Supermarket one came next toyou
me: dye hair?
her: yes
me look good
her thankyou
me are single?
her no im taken/married walk away
me said nothing or nice to meet
her turn around its weird to say that in a shopping center man
me said nothing or nice to meet, she walked away

anyway then went to a few others, couldnt' do any, talked to one woman at a pub, she was not in uniform btu worked there thats why she said hello soon as went in
her hello
you hey
do you dye hair
yeahno
looks good
thanks.
so what brings out tonight
i work here
you work here?
yeah
oh i di dnt see name tag or anything
im the manager. so i can wear whatever
ohhh something for me to aim for then!
yeah its alright? havent seen you around here before are you new?
nah from xyz, but come out here sometimes. you have xyz abce shops
yeah, some ur greatest achievemetns
and subway
it got robbed
did they catch them?
yeah, cameras everywhere they were caught
pool comp on tonight is it?
yeah
might have a look through, nice t omeet you
nice to meet you
when came back out, two guys sitting with her and her beanie had come off so guessing she liked one of those guys maybe.

Hadn't updated this in a year? That's.... well not good. Some of my fundamentals are a bit stuck, not a complaint just saying. Anyways, I've recently tried to go direct and finally did a few, but I'm not as comfortable and not able to do it often enough as I feel I could so need to keep at it

12th March
DId two indirect hairdy approaches, one seemed happy the other not.

9th June
hard to talk, did hey a few and hairdye a few, thats it

11th June 2019
Still hard but did ask one out. Walking with trolley in aisle. Indirect hairdye. talked a bit, added snapchat but didnt she unaccepted later.

14th June
A1 Said hows it going , then said youre quite cute you know. she said thanks talked abit, but she didnt seem keen at the end. even though she wasnt that cute when I was closer.
A2 Was going to go direct, but when closer wasn't sure because when closer, she was taller but unsure of how old so it shocked me a bit. thining back, yeah, she was legal lol, tattooes and a trolley and tall, just anyway. so did the hairdye and she said thanks and walked away. Was planning to go direct but yeah shocked a bit.

15th June 2019
Indirect hairdye, she said thanks and then walked away or did I? she didnt look keen

17th June
said hey or excuse me, twice, and she ignored or didnt hear

18th june finally some direct approaches! was there some positive reinforcement with chocolate drinks with some just saying hey or indirect? ei9ther way, some direct approaches
A1 indirect hair dye, talked in aisle, then bf? came, you said hey, she said bla bla about the aisle on shelf and you said yeah its different what the ycome out with tese days then they wandered off ,no need for bye or see ya

A2 walking. you said excuse me, she stopped smiled. you direct, she said really sweet. then talked a bit, and also thanks for stopping me or was that after asking out? then she said had to go you asked drink she said i cant. nice to meet you

A3 walked passed aisle then next aisle again this time said excuse me or hey as walked passed then you turned around and said oh you're really cute or caught eye and had to say hi or something .talked a bit. then asked for drink ,she paused for a good 1 or 2seconds, it wasnt an instant no, but she did say no sorry. i have a partner.
no worres didn't think to ask that etc etc. thankyou though

Did two others that were nondirect but less confident with them during today.

20th June
AA again, but did one at the end, not as pretty/youngish when close up, but still counts eg she wasnt really fat or something[but ive been rejected like from those ones too lol]. went direct, talked a bit, but she... wasn't keen from her vibe. didn't ask out[maybe should always ask out anyway]

22nd June
single mum at shops playcenter. eye contact and I looked away then looked back she looked away, then later I came back. direct excuseme,
hey
you're really pretty and i had to say hi
her "thank you"
then she had to scold her kid so it didnt leave the playcenter. I ejected

one that was walking towards me shops, stopped her excuse me
you're really pretty and i had to say hi
her" thankyou" and she walked away. looked at my crotch, or my shoes as she walked away?
30th june
shopping got some shirts, woman attendant was toothless smile when we first eye contact, but later, she run her hands through her hair while looking at me, twice, and i talked about shirts abit, then big stsall later, and asked hairdye and then would you like to grab a drink . she paused a bhit then said no she has a boyfriend. So even with an approach invitation[hands in hair] or IOI[hands in hair] its not always a guarantee or needs more game.

3rd July 2019
Didn't talk to anyone, but was in a rush maybe more time and warmup could have helped.

Lately I've been using something Gunwitch suggested in the chat. "Hey. I'm strapped for time, give me your number so I can ask you out sometime". Do that 50times I think it was to get rid of AA. The above is a slightly shorter version that Gunwitch suggested recently, than what has been suggested a few months ago. So thats what could work for me.
Recently, I've gone up and said that. But a week ago, I was doing the hairdye thing that at least would get me into set, and then eventually I'd close with the line above or something like that and now recently can seem to, sometimes, just go up and say that off the bat. Maybe hows it going warmups first to randoms.

I think it's clear that I can do this now sometimes, but I'd like to maybe get it up to 50x or something.
The other thing to work on is to do this, but do it when there is more than one person around. eg most of mine are done in an aisle, where just me and her, no other customers. Also, I tend to avoid doing it in open spaces. I have done it in open spaces, even one posted below, but I'm just so, avoidant of it. Those are my AA sticking points. There's another sticking point further below.

Of course, I still miss even ones in the aisle, if just me and her, still miss some of those too, so I'm not perfect at that yet, but this here is progress I think if I can keep this up. In total risked 26x rejection in the last 2weeks.

So below, if its just hairdye, then its
me: hey/hows it going
her: hey
me: doyou dye your hair
yes/no
then "looks good ",then I eject[was too shy] or treating as warmup. But now I can just go hows it going as a warmup maybe.

Also, what I found helps me get into set, if they're in an aisle, I'll go hows it going,
they'll respond, or look at me and wont respond, or whatever
then I'll stop after passing, turn around and say "Hey!" with a tone in my voice that is like, attention grabbing or "I have this great idea" or "I know you" you know that type of tone? and if that gets their attention then I can do the lin eabove "I'm strapped for time. Give me your number so I can ask you out sometime". So that gets me into set. Perhaps that's another sticking point, I tend to walk past, then turn around and open, rather than just walking up and opening. Part of that was to make sure they seen me first, by saying hows it going from a distance[if their back is to me and its a narrow aisle].
Another thing is if they're facing the aisle shelf , I can stand next to them ,pick something up, and go hows it going. I think I look at them, might be better if i let them look at me first, well anyways ,this all for AA can worry about more technicals later.

13/1/22 THURSDAY RISK REJECTION 0X
waved to some doorpeople who stand on the entry to some stores when I exit/enter
did one hairdye

14/1/22 FRIDAY RISK REJECTION 1x
hows it going random in aisle[older iirc]
this was long convo, incase she remembered you ,that woman who worked there that asked out ages ago amd she said to come back[but not sure if she was being polite], Chatted for a bit and asked her out, she has a partner.
hairdye later to another one
another hairdye one
we also had a thing where we thought security cameras are on us BUT it was positive like we want to do well or something.

15/1/22 SATURDAY RISK REJECTION 1X
one hairdye, but I ejected
another hairdye, talked a bit, asked out[I forget if i used the line or not] and she had a partner

16/1/22 SUNDAY RISK REJECTION 1X
one hairdye then I ejected
one hi, she looked at me and ignored so I stood next to her other side and said hairdye? she said yes. I gave thumbs up said looks good and I ejected
one on seat, hairdye ,
yes
you: looks good thumbs up then I ejected
one you said hi, she ignored so you stopped and said hairdye. looks good used to dye mine
she said yes or thanks then see ya
and another approach hairdye only
then did hairdye and risk rejection
her: "no thank you I'm engaged"

17/1/22 MONDAY RISK REJECTION 2x
hair dye then ask out
hair dye, then hair dye talk abit then asked out
her: no im good thanks

18/1/22 TUESDAY RISK REJECTION 1x
Hey[she had her back to you]
hey strapped time etc
her: no im right *she turns away*

19/1/22 WEDNESDAY RISK REJECTION 2X
one was hairdye to warmup
asked how old
then said really busy with work, give me number ask out
her: im gay sorry
you: oh ok
her: appreciate it though

20/1/22 THURSDAY RISK REJECTION 1x

21/1/22 FRIDAY RISK REJECTION 4x
used the line
woman1 "I have a girlfriend sorry"
woman2 "I have a boyfriend"
woman3 "Not today
woman4 here said she had a boyfriend[before you finished your sentence] sorry. But I like that that was good[ie my approach?].

22/1/22 SATURDAY RISK REJECTION 3x
woman1: saw a woman in a discount store earlier, mayeb she seen me. anyway wandered around a bit and saw her again and approached
used the line
she was engaged and showed her ring.
me: oh ok
her: I like that that was great[eg my approach?]

woman2:
Was a hairdye first, but thats because unsure age.
After hairdye asked how old
She was in her 20s.
then I said have to go now
she said thats okay
then I said strapped for time? or straight into give me your number so can ask out sometime
she said no i have a parnter , she also took a step back.

woman3
used the line
oh sorry[you both said this came around aisle corner]
you walked passed turned around Hey! *mindblank*[LOL] umm *closed my eyes* LOL
me: I've got to get going, give me your number so I can ask you out sometime/
her: I'm taken sorry



23/1/22 SUNDAY RISK REJECTION 0x

24/1/22 MONDAY RISK REJECTION 4X
used the line 4x
woman1: *quietly* no thankyou
woman2: No thankyou I'm married
woman3: No thankyou I have a boyfriend
woman4: No thankyou

25/1/22 TUESDAY RISK REJECTION 4x
used the line 4x

The last one, she had ignored my hows it going/hi as I walked passed in front of her, then when I turned around and talked she was still not looking[but she heard me and then started looking]. But after I asked her out and she talked back, she took a step back. Not sure why. This happened on two occasions. I had walked in front of her, so she should not have been startled. Maybe she was shy or maybe poor fundamentals on me, don't know.
One the other day took a step back as well after risking rejection. Both times it was after asking them out, not when I first stood there. So yeah not sure what this "takes a step back is about". I'm not right up super duper close to their face, and I'm wearing a mask.

I did get two good reactions, as can see above. Well three if you count the one that said appreciate it[I thought she might have been insincere tone with her words, or she was shy]. But reactions aren't results. Anyways, this more about approach anxiety for now.