Reaching the Summit w/ Bastian

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Welcome!

I've been a reader of GC for a year and 4 months, found it after reading dating advice from Roosh V. However, I didn't feel comfortable with his methods (thank God I never did!) and kept searching for similar "manosphere" websites until stumbling here. Am a 18 year old guy of Southern European descent living in Orlando area. I am homeschooled (currently HS senior), and helping my parents' (now failed) business the past few years, moving housing every other month, but we'll stay in the same area for a while due to increased financial stability and college.

As if by an Act of God, a friend of mine invited me and a friend of his girlfriend to his (former) HS football game the very same week I started reading Roosh and the week before discovering GC. It took me some weeks to figure out it was a date in disguise, but I applied as much as I could learn from GC to these dates and hooked the friend. She was dying for me to pull the trigger, sometimes saying stuff like wanting me to meet her family and teasing me for my (non-existent) flirting.

However, I was still under crippling shyness (plus some nuanced office politics) and never made a move. Closest I got was a two-handed hug -- it would have been one-handed had she not corrected me for it -- on our last day before I moved up North. Anyways, this did help me become socially adroit and help break me out of the White Knight mentality. Weirdly enough, despite AA and shyness, I don't take rejection to heart. Maybe it's been 4 years of sales, but actually getting to the point where I move towards an outcome is harder than rejection itself.

I began living with my grandparents and wasted a year just fooling around. I never knew when I would leave back to Florida (or if it would be Texas, Alabama, or another Southern State), but thinking it would just be *one more month* (lol), I didn't take approaching seriously.

We just moved back in early December and currently house-hunting. I won't do dedicated approaching/seducing until the latter half of January, since I have more important things on my plate, but will maintain an eye out for opportunities. Currently focusing on getting caught up with school to have time for a part-time job and either get a loan or buy a car with money I've loaned my parents over the years. My logistics won't be easy, but we will be saving money for both my parents and my own future enterprise this year.

Technically I am just a virgin, but I very much feel like a kissless virgin. A 12 year old accident doesn't count.

Hopefully this entertains y'all and I will continue making progress
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
January 3rd, 2017

Giving some background to event. We are both crashing at a (older, mutual) friend's house, she is here for the holidays, leaving on the 6th (back home to another state) and I am house hunting. We've flirted before but never had an actual date. Known this chick for 3 weeks. I'm 18 and living with my mother, she's 15 and also with her mother. Her name was changed to "Jane" for this entry. Copied straight out of my notes.

Yesterday I asked Jane if she was up for a run, she said maybe. Some hours and a birthday party later, I asked if she decided to go for a run. She said most likely not, to which I responded that I will go for a run by 9:00, so she would have to be ready if she wanted to run with me.

Today I woke up just as Jane entered bathroom (about 8:45, I overslept somewhat), so I changed in the meanwhile and started to wait (I can't eat without brushing my teeth). Blasted some music and waited for her to finish. I walk towards her as she opens the door (only way to enter bathroom is from living room). We look at each other and she asks if I was going alone to run. I answered plainly (should have asked/flirted here, but was too focused on doing manhandle kiss). After a snack, I waited 10 minutes and did 7 one-handed pushups (new record!), then began to run with music. Ran for 28:30 minutes (previous record was about 15:40), and walked about 4 more, ~ 3 miles in total. Got back, showered, ate, and started doing Stats work.

It's about 3:00 when she comes out as I go for bathroom. I say jokingly teased her for being inside the room the whole day (as far as I know, she hadn't had breakfast yet and it's the longest she's stayed without coming out), she laughs weakly. Some time later I am back at table doing work and she is cooking something to eat when I decide to walk to fridge and grab water. Then I go for manhandle kiss and fuck up. As I stand up from grabbing water bottle, I place it in counter and drag her in for manhandle kiss. However, I give her a canned answer to her "What are you doing" (voice pitch rising, she was laughing as she said it) And just hold her there (hand on hip) out of akwardness and fear. She smiles and gives me a squint out of the corner of her eyes, then lightly pushes me off her. I go back to work and drink a hella lot of water, bottle is now 2/3rds empty.

As she leaves, I say "That got weird back there". She asks where and I point to kitchen. Half smile and nod. I then say "Sorry." and she leaves (talk about diggin' my own grave...) I finish drinking the bottle and start to write this.

Why the manhandle kiss? She will return by the summer, but things change in that time (we won't live in the same house anymore) and I'm facing competition. Plus, we are having another visitor to house between today & tomorrow, which could throw off our vibes.

First try at manhandle kiss, so at least I have a reference point; it truly requires rock steady confidence + balls of steel. Should I move faster next time or have a better response? Probably both. All I know is that attraction peaked 2 days ago and is slowly dropping. At least I know she's on the fence right now.

Feeling like a bitch right now for not pulling the trigger, but also relieved in that I tried. Another climb upwards in removing AA and shyness out of my repertoire.
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Yesterday I waited in line for the iPhone X, where I met some Brazilians vacationing in Orlando. 3 were in front and 5 were behind, they weren't all the same family or group, but at least some of them knew each other. Out of this group there is a grandmother (Avo), grandson (child), older man (we would see his wife later, Steve), older woman (Maria), father, mother (she left soon afterwards), and two chicks. One of them is a Ph.D student (Tania) she looks like late 20s but it could be anywhere from early 20s to early 30s, the other one is in her late teens to early 20s. The older man, older woman, and father are the ones in front.

I don't speak Portuguese, although I am fluent in English, Spanish and know some French. So I can at least follow the gist of what they say and look at them while they speak. At this point in the morning we're outside and the grandmother is doing most of the speaking, and I read a book/listen to music in the meanwhile.

While we are outside I speak to Maria once to find out more about them; she crosses one leg, looks at the ground, and begins to sway while we converse, she speaks some English. I think I followed the law of Least Effort in doing so, given Maria is silent and next to me, Steve is sleeping, the father looks like your average clueless dad, Avo is farther away with her grandson, and the chicks are vibing directly behind me. I take it she's not comfortable yet so when the conversation dies down, I wait until we get inside the store to talk again (~35 minutes), but I do become more involved in their group conversations.

I hold the door for the 4 behind me and now I'm behind all 8 of them, we make some small talk but now Steve is doing the brunt of the talking. Remember this is all in Portuguese and I haven't got the slightest idea how to contribute beyond active listening. Avo only understands basic phrases, while the rest have varying degrees of mastery in English, Tania knows some Spanish since she is studying in Argentina.

We begin to sit on the floor not too long after. About half an hour passes before I open to one of the 2 brothers behind me, one is 22 and the other 25. The younger one is trying to rest while the older one is sitting and feeling generally uncomfortable. To soothe him, unbore myself, and show social proof; I talk with him for a while, find out they are visiting from Argentina. They're worried about not getting into Bush Gardens due to the length of the line. I think about offering condolences about the NYC terrorist who ran over some Argentinians earlier this week, but decide against it; it's not like they know each other.

When that conversation ends, I speak to Maria once more and Tania begins to speak to me, that's when I find out she speaks Spanish. The other chick is listening but doesn't speak, she's like this for most of our interaction.

We stand up and they decide to bring me into the group once again by offering me my original spot (or was that after I opened the door for them? FUCK I should have made some notes!) I use the opportunity to ask if they are the same family/group by offering token resistance. They say no, but I saw father walk with the kid and wife earlier. Anyway, we talk some more before I continue the "Portuguese Experience", I'm trying to decode their tongue using my knowledge of the three languages.

Anyway some time after talking with Maria & Tania, Tania offers me candy, I take one and she gives me another chocolate from the candy bag. Her friend also reaches into her backpack to give me a pack of M&Ms. Both times I would have declined, but I remembered the article on investing effort and accept. Following this I ask them how to say thank you in Portuguese. They teach me "brigado" and we keep conversing. At this point it's mostly me and Tania vibing, or Bastian trying to decipher Portuguese.

It's about 9:30 when I speak to the younger Argentine, Tania leaves to get coffee for her and the other chick. We move again and he sits next to Tania's friend, I learn that she can speak some English but she doesn't encourage further conversation. It was kind of weird for me, like when I smiled at her earlier, she smiled back timidly & most of the time I look at her she looks down.

At the same time, this bitch had one of the most beautiful, exotic faces I've seen. I'm glad this happened, I need to meet more girls. Like this blows away the physical quality of women I have at work, both natural and dolled-up.

Of course, personality-wise I don't have much to work with off her, it looks like she's average, maybe sheltered? Dropping 1.2k on a phone CASH isn't something your average Brazilian can do, so I assume they're middle or upper-middle class. Can't be rich though, Tania loved that Argentina has some damn fine $1 wine.

But I digress, a moment after homeboy tried to pry words out of her, I asked her what she did for fun... and she made this very stressed out face -- like she was between a rock and a hard place -- while looking down first and then away towards the (closed) shop's display window. Then she looks at me and does a non-answer, we look at each other for a brief moment. In my head I'm like "Maybe she needs help with the language?" I try to help her by saying that she obviously likes to explore new places and travel, it looks like she is going to say something but... nothing. Tania releases tension by bringing the coffee some moments later.

I would love to know what happened there!

So we continue back and forth until the Apple staff reach us for reservations. Tania and the chick step back to discourage the guy from mistakenly asking them first about reserving the phone. We go through the process and I use non-verbals to ask the chick if everything is okay. She's stoked about getting her phone, she squeezes my and Maria's forearm, lifts her arms in the air, and does a little dance.

I'll spare you the details. I speak with the Argentinians one last time, and make a "I can't believe it" face while laughing when Tania says she Argentinians are a pretentious bunch, especially when they try to correct her Spanish as not "Espanol" but "Castellano". She jokes that I should visit Brazil. Maria takes a selfie of us. It was a weird angle, and this is something I don't do often so I stay out of the picture... Tania reprimands me and both Avo & the chick motions me to join them; Maria looks at me. Tania then gathers everyone's phone number and name to make a Whatsapp group conversation "later". We finally move inside the Apple store to the second line.

There Tania says she likes red wine out of the blue. I think she was low-key inviting me for a drink, even more when she said "every day while I'm here". But I don't know of any places where they'll serve alcohol to minors in Orlando and honestly that worried me in the age difference. I don't think she knew that the legal drinking age is 21 here in the States rather than 18 as in Brazil. I'm 19 for reference, although she didn't know my age beyond "young college student". She also joked that we should do the same thing next year.

Tania, her friend, and me go as a group to buy the iPhone together. And we say goodbyes to each other more than a couple of times with smiles on our faces.


Reflection: Wow that was a long one. I'm not pleased how I handled it as I could have deep-dived more and try a more aggressive approach. It was foolish of me for wishing it to not end, and now I'm stuck with a maybe group-text from Whats-app from people I'll likely never see again. In fact, I got no idea if she even knows to add the country code, she might be pissed right now thinking I gave her a bogus number. Or she might text once out of the country. I was gonna wait until the group chat to ask Maria for that selfie, but I missed out on that too.

In any case, this reminds me to update my journal. So much has changed since the beginning of the year, and yet tragically so much has stayed the same. I "tried" to cold approach in the mall afterwards but couldn't bring myself to.

Needless to say, all names used are substitutions.
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
This is a different topic, so I'll make a separate reply for ease of future viewing.

I have a full license, I got my car, and I work a full-time job plus ~5 hours of OT every week. It sounds okay, but I still don't have my independence.

Parents are not allowing me to drive the car alone, which means I can't go and cold approach or try my game anywhere outside work. Speaking of work, I got 2 girls hooked and a few more interested, so yeah imma keep hammering at those fundamentals + verbal game.

Being at work makes my game more restricted than it ought be, but I like the environment and stability right now as I'm focused more on school.

Truth be told, if I could drive anywhere I damn pleased, I would still stay home most of the day, speeding through school. I'm still doing virtual high school on one hand, and on the other I got 2 credit's worth of work to finish. This coming week I finish another semester, leaving me with just half of Pre-Cal and Statistics to finish high school.

Although I'll also take Calculus BC to take a test and see if I get college credits for it and/or start college with higher mathematics. The only thing it will cost me is time.

I dropped out of Statistics earlier this year due to a course update, where answers are now multiple choice instead of essay, meaning I will be able to breeze through a half a semester and finish the rest faster without wasting hours typing an answer. Also I'll buy a fucking TI graphing calculator. Can't believe how stupid it was to save $50 on a Casio, but waste many more hours just trying to figure out how to do the same functions clearly spelled out in the course. Talk about inefficiency!

It sucks that I can't do shit with the girls. One of them is my age and totally cool but lives with her boyfriend. They've been together since middle school and apparently he has game, he cheated on her a few weeks ago. The other one is like 4 years older, yet less experienced; single and has had trouble in her love life. Has been wanting to go out drinking and dancing with me, to which I haven't paid much attention... not sure if she wants some liquid courage or to just blame it on the alcohol when we escalate, probably both. Then again, my age presents an obstacle towards the "drinking" part.

And of course, I can't drive anywhere without my parents. Sometimes it's like being a living comedic punchline. A fit, sexy, young collage-aged male; virgin, kiss-less, and helicoptered. Praised as smart, yet took an extra year to finish high school.

Well, at least I've been mostly video game free for 1 1/2 months. It's good to keep productive.
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Okay,

I'm done with high school. Turns out my school is supposed to stop students from adding more courses after they turn 19... I somehow got through the cracks and went through my worst November yet, where I had to finish my remaining classes in set amount of time or get withdrawn and booted out without credits. Immensely proud of that achievement, even though I was sleep deprived for little more than a month and couldn't take the AP classes I wanted (guess I gotta fork out ~1800 USD for the same classes in college). Now I need to get an affidavit signed (standard procedure for homeschooling students in my state) and enroll in my local community college, I might do summer class depending if I raise enough money for my side project or not.

Only have driven alone two times, twice to go to my aunt's house (a 4 min drive around the neighborhood), so some progress is being done.

One side project requires significant amounts of seed capital (5 - 10k minimum), while the other one is simply writing. I've done market research and it seems the biggest markets for books are Sci-fi/Fantasy and Romance. Romance is significantly easier to write since it doesn't require extensive world-building like Sci-fi/Fantasy and to quote Blake Snyder, all what the reader's want is "The same, but different". This is something I've been wanting to do since 2016, but haven't got around to it.

Now I've read 2 great books on writing "Save the Cat" & "Romancing the Beat" plus a couple others in my Romance genre of choice, of which I've been learning about the roles of the characters and applying/analyzing concepts on the above two books. I'm down to my last two books which should give me better guidance in the rules of my chosen niche. After publishing this should bring 200 - 500 dollars, but the main currency is newsletter subscribers.

I'm not talking about this to advertise, but rather 1), hold myself accountable towards that by talking about it in GC and 2) Talk about something else I'm doing now that I have a void where my school time stood. I don't want to sit on my ass all day doing nothing.

I'll have to pester my parents for diving time, though. They're being extremely cautious and I have done some bone-headed things (given I have only been driving since September, besides a brief 2 weeks in 2014), but I can't even get a haircut without setting up a three-way date between myself, Barber, and Parents. Also would love to join a gym instead of having to purchase my own bench, plates & rack; don't know if I have the patience to wait instead of spending ~1000 USD on home gym.

Needless to say, I'm afraid of even dating as long as I can't drive alone. Fuck, I don't even know where I would go in date as of now. Hopefully I can use my future driving practice to go about town for some recon. I've found a few locations by coincidence, but I'll need a lot more than a handful.
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Intro

It's hard to even comprehend that I've only been driving alone since May. Much has changed since then. I still don't have an amazing social life, but I flirt with girls at school & work and am highly social with the nurses, clerks, and staff at work. Most people like me, although I have much to improve. At least two friends could do even better if they applied themselves closer to other people. I'm also more confident, demanding, and unapologetic; I may be exaggerating the differences here, but it's almost as if I'm a different person.

First Kiss

I'm still virgin; in fact, I just had my first kiss/make-out Friday. Fun stuff, pulled a chick from her great-uncle's birthday party to my car, then to my room when I fucked up (asked her "You're not a virgin, right?" after she asked if I had experience when I bit her jaw between body/neck kisses). More details later, but I had just taken her bra off & switching between kissing & nipple play when her mother called. Oops, lol. I was high & tipsy but I was surprised how I naturally handled resistance & my fuckup when I did a piss-poor job at comfort/similarity when we left their house (I live across the street) and somewhat okay when we left my house by understating my attraction yet cracking a joke to ease the tension. She only relaxed after we began foreplay. But I digress. Gotta leave something to write for the field report.

Important to note she's either a player or shy/inexperienced. Told me she didn't know how to kiss, is a virgin, yet complied with everything BUT unbuckling her pants -- she even helped me take off her shirt. Also discouraged texting two days later by a one-word reply, as so far as telling me one word replies makes guys leave.

Upcoming First Date*

They went crazy finding her some time after we disappeared. Today I texted her and scheduled a Tuesday date after some resistance, had a mate help me out with a roadblock but mainly made use of Chase's 7 Awesome Ways to Ace Women's Test and OneDate + TDA. Wouldn't have made it without GirlsChase! Thank you.

I have shit logistics though, I live w/ 2 parents & she has 3 siblings + 2 parents home. If you can help, please comment! We're going to eat some truck food, then I have some venues lined up (arcade, glow-in-dark put put, golf driving range, bowling, lazer tag, go-karts, slingshot/ferris wheel).

Imma see where I stand on SAC before committing to one. We're both 20 and this seems to be the norm in Orlando.


Car or bathroom are the likeliest places. I also know of a park, but that's more of a trespassing thing and slightly dangerous since we pass under a dark bridge -- oh shit, that might actually be the perfect place. Imma check it out tonight just to make sure there's no homeless and/or junkies camping this place out.

First Steps

Regardless, I have gotten 1 number so far on my fifth night at the club (poor venue/bitched out on my first three, was with female friends + couple on fourth). Funnily enough it just happened that I pulled a chick to dance with, wink at her friend (didn't know if I should break circle or what to do besides acknowledge her). We dance for like 30 seconds when they leave and come back immediately w/ the uglier friend asking me to put her digits in. My text-game sucked, so nothing came out of that. Also lost another chick I talked with, but didn't move fast enough that night.

Got approached by another chick some weeks ago during a smoke in a popular park. Same deal, I was too slow and didn't even know how to proceed. She left upon realizing deep conversation was the only thing going on between us. I should have touched, I should have persisted.

COLD APPROACH

I've been too bitched out to try cold approach, although I take action to leave the house for the slightest of reasons (I'll only stay if I need to recharge after a night out/sleep deprived). I've explored Orlando somewhat, but I know there's more to experience. However, I will beat approach anxiety soon, I'm scared of looking like an incompetent & ungraceful social retard, but if that is what it takes to get over cold approach, so be it. I won't allow myself to leave college until I cold approach at least one person today (if there's time, I'm still procrastinating that essay due 8 hours ago) -- failing I make it to college, then Tuesday.

Even my perception of cold approach is starting to change. Practicing natural game will improve my life and even make approaching easier!

*First time I'll be one-on-one with a chick
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Life

Foreword: This was originally attached to the post above, but for ease of reading I split them into two. The one above is mainly concerned with dating/seduction, while this one is more generally about my life.

Work

I got a co-worked who wants to make something happen between us, but I'm just not attracted. Not gonna fuck a girl just to lose my v-card and create drama. She likes to say "Bitches love Bastian" when I get social proof from random staff. Another one I'd like to fuck and she flirts back. Today I missed some escalation windows, she used an excuse to touch me & suggested we see an NBA game sometime. Neither of us watch sports, lmao. First time she does either. BUT her friend value is too high, I learn and practice my stuff with them.

Also got promoted to the second lowest step in my workplace (I'm the youngest & least experienced there), there's at least 2 people with applicable experience, and another one does the job better. I'm the one with the charm and confidence.

SIDE HUSTLE

In regard to the book, it turns out that's too much work for too little pay, it's demotivating to know that even if I'm in the top 10% or more of authors, pay is limited to 3k - 5k per month. Not bad money, but I could apply my skills elsewhere for greater profit, or at least more consistent ones. My opportunity cost is simply too much, even if I enjoy writing.

Just looked up importing & branding consumer items, which I'll try when I have more capital (3k in saving plus another 3k I loaned my parents). For immediate cash I'll read books and copywrite like a mother fucker. I also tried some other stuff, but let's just say I rank freedom higher than spare cash ;)

Barbacking seemed like a good option, but I realize I'm shit when I don't sleep. That will set me back socially and professionally, so part-time work (in addition to my full-time & college) is out of the picture.

I might jump into DoorDash if circumstances permit, but copywriting is more profitable, so I should focus all my side-hustle energy into that.

I took a jab at swing trading recently, lost 20/1000 dollars in a day w/ stock value, but I it sure as hell beats money sitting idling in my account. At least I'm learning another skill and using money to work for me instead of stagnating in no man's land. Don't be stupid, that's all :p

I read about website flipping, which I may or may not try to fuck on. I'll definitely skip the market if I can buy a website with a monthly 10% ROI, maybe even less as this would provide me with even greater opportunities for learning, scaling, and overall profit than the stock market. Worst case scenario I buy a profit generating machine. Hell yeah! Fuck stocks brother, this is where I can generate greater returns with my measly few grand.

Of course, these side-hustles all converge into real estate. I want to flip houses and I will acquire rental property. Question is how soon can I fuck on some capital? I'm tempted to move out within a year on an FHA loan and have roommates/renters pay for mortgage + maybe small profit after electric, water, and increased grocery costs.

Vices

Women, the whole rasion d'etre of GirlsChase. You wouldn't be here if not for them, nor would I be writing if not for them. Got that one out the way.

Seriously, I stopped video games of ALL kinds. Turns out playing porn games not only warps my sexual reality, but also pushes me towards real video games. Somehow I trained my brain to see past video games' illusion, since they don't bring me closer to wealth nor do they help my social skills, they leave me entertained but unfulfilled. Porn games I struggle with, even as typing these words and thinking these thoughts give them unneeded power over me. Besides sating my drive to build, collect, and acquire resources (lol, I only play games about wealth or conquest, sometimes both), they take too much time over what is essentially mental masturbation over what the aforementioned resource acquisition w/ pretty visuals.

Same for the minuscule amount of TV shows I watch, although I should be more lenient on them, since I could still learn and cross-reference stuff. Films I've always been borderline about, but I watch them w/ friends so as long as I don't consume them alone & sparingly, I don't have much of a problem with them.

I smoke cigars & cigarillos occasionally, mainly when I'm downtown. I think I'll stop, though. Since the relaxation I feel is opposite to the drive I need to approach more women. Blunts I mainly do with friends/parties, this also saps my willpower so unless I'm totally relaxing, experimenting with my willpower under the influence, or looking for a deep state of thought, I won't smoke. It's a double-edged sword for progress. And of course, I drink whenever I get the chance to, but never too much since I always have to drive back home. There's also the EC stack pills which I use to keep alert after pulling an all nighter, though I try to keep both at a minimum. I'm trying to gain muscle, yet they inhibit my appetite.

Every so often I struggle with a depressive mood, but then I realize I've been ruminating too long and should go do something instead. Since I view passive entertainment as something detracting from my mission -- my immediate one to move out and the life one to become financially independent and provide value to those doing business w/ me) -- depression also sets in if I watch or do too many unproductive things.

Positivity

Oh fuck, last time I was here I didn't even hit the gym! Yeah, I got a gym membership. Woooo! I've stayed at the same weight, which means I got to eat more, but my strength has increased dramatically. I couldn't even squat, deadlift, or bench my bodyweight; it all changed with StrongLift's 5x5 program. In fact, after a cold/flu I LOST ~3 pounds.

I've been upgrading my fashion, my hairstyle (I use ethnic hair products instead of the cheapest shampoo/conditioner, gotta keep them curls for the girls ;v), and got earrings. I don't know if they're that good or I just feel a palcebo effect, but I love to use them. Fashion-wise I had a basic look down, but it's time to take it to the next level. I need actual beach clothes now (instead of basketball shorts or a neutral pool short), button-down shirts, and some non-watch accessories. Fortunetly, with greater fashion sense means there are even more clothes I now consider unacceptable, there's flaws I didn't notice before which now stick out. So a few more shirts would be bad either.

I've worked on cultivating a better voice, since I tend to mumble (especially when tired/high) & eliminating jumbling (i.e., why don't you instead of why don chou), something I used to take foolish pride in. I have vastly less problems with being heard, since I wasn't projecting voice from my chest. No more problems talking at a higher volume without yelling.

My general attitude and demeanor changed too. I grew up fearing being wrong. I still find myself talking this way sometimes, but I feel relived to no longer live like that. I no longer say that this should happen or that could be the solution instead of telling someone what happens or what I believe will happen.

I used to be illusioned by my ego, as I would tell myself to not judge, but somehow I forgot to discriminate. Now I can more easily tell if someone is nervous or their whole nonverbal feelings (laughter, body movements, word tone, ect.), basically my emotional intelligence evolved overnight. Why did I stop discriminating? I don't know. I won't go deeper cause this is the positive section, but it amazes me how by looking at others I can police and adjust my own actions to become more self-assured and all-round better individual. So yeah, toke up and observe people, then reflect.

I can feel the vibe and identify what the group (or individual within) need, even if I can't deliver it just yet.

This last Friday I could completely feel the vibe of other people, the D&D alignment Chase talked about, even if what I felt didn't 100% sync up with that explanation. Like some people genuinely believe in good, it's not that they're bitch enough to not pursue what they want, like there's conviction behind that thought. Like the guy I talked to felt for other people when accidents happened in his trade, he really didn't care about losing money when these accidents happened because other people depend on him for their AC in the hot, humid weather. More honorable than the vast majority of people I know and associate with, but not the kind of guy I'd want as a brother. This helped avoid building dissimilarity to him, since wealth is one of my main drivers, the other being freedom.

I've been writing for hours. Better stop now before I lose you, dear reader. Thanks! 2,300 words. Wow.
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Fuck, I blew it with makeout chick. Haven't cold approached or even kissed since, but I feel that every passing day and every new interaction -- I learn.

My inner game is weak. I just realized a week ago that a classmate I'm flirting with basically did all but scream "let's hookup". She asked me how far my house was, told me how far her house was, asked me where my car was, and "forgot where she parked her car"; all after I invited her to toke after we vibed, I dominated our professor, and hooked another (less attractive) girl.

However, at that point I didn't know why she was asking me these questions, since I was so focused on getting her number for the "toke date". I'm still holding on to insecure mindsets back when I had no game, no social skills, and shit fundamentals.

I'm still somewhat communicating with her, but I don't know if my text-game has auto-rejected her or if I was too mean during our last class. I'm getting better though! Imma see this chick in ~15 hours, so we'll see where this goes.

I also declined an insta-date offer from a chick because it was with her dad & 9-year old brother, then I let her leave after she made some bs excuse. It hurts me that I've hurt her and let yet another opportunity slip through. I did e-mail the event coordinator (a week later), whom forwarded that email to her. No response, but hey c'est la vie. I was dumb to put pride before dick, only to get hands that stick. I'm not in position to refuse ANY date request, since I need all the experience I can gather.

However, I'm cultivating a better mindset to approaching/interacting & flirting.


More importantly though, I just noticed that I start listing off why I SHOULDN"T cold approach when I see a hot chick vs listing reasons I should. Just saw a hot early 30s chick at Walmart, but became self-conscious of the 4 cereal boxes on my arms before deciding not to approach. It's 3:30 in the morning, haha. So at least this non-approach helped me remove a little more bitchness out of my system.

Classes almost over, and now I got an essay to finish before today & a presentation before this class. Don't know what I'm going to do next! I'm so exited. Copywriting, beaches, improv, meetups. It's weird, I'm smiling and enjoying the world now. An hour ago I shed 3 tears for being such a bitch and unsuccessful in my handful of approaches.
Anyway, I wasn't hired for the 3 barback positions I applied for & my network doesn't have good leads. Given, 1 is an upscale hotel & the other one is an upscale bar, so not something totally unexpected. I'll send some more well-crafted applications after classes are over.

ALSO met a MILF 2 weeks ago at a small indie bar. First time I've ever felt out-gamed (instead of rejected or auto-rejected), even as she was drunk. I flirted & talked for fun. She's a regular there with her husband, and I like this bar too much to experiment.

It's hard to put it in words, but it was a very deep, rich, predatory sort of vibe. Very controlled. A female player? Experienced, but not masculine or girly -- purely feminine.

I hadn't met someone like that before, it was surreal.
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Once again, this mentality of excuses why not to approach began.

I’m doing homework on a patio outside college, look at this chick. Great scarf, black & gray w/ black coat (I’m in a T-shirt, lol Florida “winter”). She looks at me, keeps walking and turns to walk behind me. She could have taken the same path inside the building. Instead, she whistles/groans once she gets close & looks at her drink cup... I keep smacking my keyboard.

Damn!

It’s so easy, why am I prioritizing homework > pussy? It’s not like 5 - 10 minutes are gonna make a difference.

Haha, at least I’m being honest with myself. 3 years ago I complimented a woman on her dog, because I was afraid of complimenting her dress — much less go indirect direct or direct completely.

I could have opened this chick. And it’d be so easy & natural, I was almost shocked when I didn’t. Its not a big deal; in fact, it shouldn’t even have been an event.

I’ll definetly come back next semester. Even if I’m only working on copywriting, lmao. Until I find better day game opportunities.
 

Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Holy fucking Shit. I've come a long way. I'm reading the last post & skimmed the rest.

Since then I've dropped out of college. Tried copy-writing, power washing, Craigslist flipping, serving (to become bartender), and now got my RE license. My interactions w/ women are more fun, emotional, and physical.
I got 30 min to shower & sleep before work tomorrow.
Oh well, I'll write a summary later in the week.

I've gained 10 - 15 pounds of muscle too.
Lost my virginity (to an escort)
Mangled my dick (related to above ^)
I'm 21 now!
Severely curtailed my video game relapses, each time it gets easier to stay away
Severely curtailed TV (I get addicted to stories easily)
Severely curtailed porn -- my biggest issue was that my "cheat day" was 5 - 8 hours each night on days off (some spent watching online TV)... What a dumbass, dude!

I keep reading books at a pace of 1.5 per month, depending on length.
About $5,000 in the hole across my various business ventures.
$300 per month on real estate license (will break-down costs later)


Till then I wrote this post

12 min now, lol AND I've got to sit on the shitter. Cheerio!!!

- Bastian
 
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Bastian

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 11, 2016
Messages
55
Location
Florida
Wow, everything keeps going back to the money. I got 2 LR & 2 FR to fucking post.

Broke rn, cuz I spent all my saving on a business venture. Gotta hustle even harder now. FUCKKKK

Wish I had more time, but they're unimportant as getting some cash is important to me right now. Maybe in a few more weeks. Hope my memory holds up well

But hey, thanks to GC I had 2 real lays! Friends/connections I would never have had
And I'm inna semi-relationship wit a dime

Life is stressful, but good. I could totally get fucked if this business stuff goes sideways, but who cares?
I'll climb back up motherfucker :p:p:p

Shit, maybe i'm just pumping myself up. But I'm happy rn, even if I'm stressed and my life could go to shit.

I'm clawing my way up nigga
 
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