From lame ass to badass. My transformation

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
470
Working at a baby-shop makes me meet a lot of women. I do practice a lot with my eyes, and I am getting considerably better to know which girls like me and whos not into me. Usually, there's a type of girl that seems to be more into me.

*Usually artsy women, with colorful scarfs, stone earrings, and an alternative vibe.
*Yoga girls.
*Dancers, singers, and actresses.
*IT or STEM-girls (who don't have as much social awareness, but whom I find adorably geeky).

Younger women seem to hook easier as well.

Winter and work
Trying to stop women on the streets at winter, seems to be an uphill battle. They are often in a hurry and if you manage to talk to them, some of them can get a little intimidated when its dark (it gets pitch dark after 16:00 now).

So I usually talk to girls on my way to and from work, which is not as many since I am running from work to the studio or home to make some music.

So I am not putting the work as I did before as women are not my first priority right now so I know I am not getting as many results as I did last year.

Lay with my lesbian friend
So this weekend, me and my best female friend went for a trip on a boat together we only wanted to go party a little and be able to talk a lot about life, women and philosofy. Since she is a lesbian, I usually say whatever I want because I never see her as anything else than that.

But on this trip, a couple of things changed.

*I held her hand and while she was holding it back, she said; "So now we are together?" and then she let my hand go. I ignored it, of course saying that having a flirty tone with your friends make the friendship better, after all, she is a lesbian, right?

*Then we went out for a little while, we danced a litte and went for a tour around the boat. Then we bought some beers and went back to our room.
*I layed down beside her, and started touching her arm, something I did many times before while we where outside on the boat. But this time, I felt very horny without knowing what do do with it. We touched several times, she moves me away, but sooner than later it was on.
*So we had lesbian sex and anal sex (since I did not bring any condoms with me), in the morning I make her come, by having lesbian sex.

*Then I buy some condoms and we have proper, heterosexual sex.

But the thing is; when I have sex with someone I dont see as a partner, I act as if nothing happens. So we resumed things, like if this was something we only dreamt about.

......

Today I spot a fairly cute girl on my way back home from work. I start a conversation with her and it goes pretty well. Then I talk to a girl I did not manage to get anywhere with, but I learned the following things:

1. I am always nervous when speaking to a girl. It doesnt matter how long Ive been doing this, the anxiety always sets in.
2. Nowadays, I just say she's cute and say hi and my name. (More nerves on my part, Its here I believe she can ask me to fuck off!).
3. But when I explain why I think so ( could be her clothes, her smile, hair or whatever) the conversation opens a little more. If she is still nervous, I excuse myseld and say I had to go talk to her. This way I dont seem weird or out of her league.
4. Then i just continue as if nothing happened, ask her about her day, and find common ground.

From here it's all about vibing, and vibing is all about what you feel inside.
Are you horny when speaking to her? Good, she feels the same way. Are you excited? Dont be shy showing her those feelings, she will recirpocate if shes interested.

Theres something in our eyes that can transfer feeling back to her. I still dont know how to do this at will, because I have to concentrate a lot and think things to get in that mood. And that makes me forget our conversations. Sometimes silences seem good (and that works well because you create tension), but in many instances, you have to be "in the moment" while creating this vibe. And what if she is not as open for that vibe (too brainy or not concentrating enough on you?). This is still something I want to work a lot more on.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
470
Sometimes it seems I am able to flirt so much with the costumers at work that I get scared the sexual energy can be seen by others. Until now, since I am very aware of girls signs, I haven't had any weird stuff happening.

Because:
*Girls that look back and down show submissiveness.
*Sometimes they even smile to themselves as they look down trying to hide it.
*I also like those who look away (to the side).
*And try to avoid those who look up or over me (as I believe they think they are above me).

And we also got those who sit or stand by themselves smiling at something. Those girls, even when not interested, are at least friendly and that could potentially be a very good warmup.

Talking to random girls vs talking to interested girls
The last days, I've been looking for those signs whenever I am out (which seem to be on my way to and from work for the most part). Because I am in a hurry, I can't seem to stop them and talk to them then and there, but I try to write these signs down on my phone.

But paradoxically, if I suddenly have enough time to act upon these signs, they don't seem to appear at all. There are even instances where I just stand and wait for these signs to come and think to myself "what the heck". Then I just find myself a random, cute enough girl to open.

*But since they haven't been looking for a guy or don't find me their type it falls flat. I can see it the moment I pre-open them, they seem happy for the compliment but that's that and they start walking away.

*I tried following them, of course, but they are often not that responsive.

The weather seem also to be a factor, as girls are in a hurry or freezing cold when I appear.

Social circle game is getting better
So I managed to seduce a friend, whom I haven't had any sex with in more than five years.
I am also turning the conversations with girls I know a little more sexual (using innuendos) and being more sensual with my touches as well. The question some of you might as is how can I get away with this?

I believe it has everything to do with your eyes and how you look at them. I've come to realize that eye contact is the most important tool to use.
*Look intensely as she is talking, imagining how it feels to kiss her or have sex with her.
*If you feel bold, triangulate (looking at each of her eyes and her lips).
*And when you're talking, use pauses here and there... like if you're thinking of... your next sentence.

This creates tension between both of you, and you can even see how she lights up while you're talking to her. If you suddenly break the tension, by changing topics or re-directing your attention, it cements the feelings you gave her. But you have to be the one who does this.

Another question you might ask is, which girls seem responsive to these signs? How do I find out she will reciprocate?

When you look at her eyes intensely, does she look back or does she look away? If the latter, try a second and even a third time, if she still doesn't respond staring back at you, then you know she is not interested in you.

However, you need to have some kind of fundamentals in check to be able to do this often. I believe we all meet girls who are interested as long as you look ok, but the more you work on your sexiness, the easier it guess.

I am getting these signs within social circle handled the last weeks, so this is totally new for me as well. Now, implementing this on my day-game routine seems a little bit more difficult as I don't have the same time to build trust or pre-selection. And when I am in dates, I think too much about what to say or do next that I forget to implement this. The next step should be making tension building second nature and then transcitioning this increasingly to my day-game approaches and dates. I believe this could make a much bigger impact on my sets.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
470
Cant believe its been almost four months ago. Ive just been to busy making music, working and being in a relationship to go out and find girls to flirt with.

However, Ive been out here and there, and also approached a little here and there, but somehow the results have been lacking or to be honest : each time I have the chance to meet up with an interesting girls, ive bailed out/flaked - women can often be very time consuming.

[*]Thats the reason coaches over here are able to sleep with many women. All they do is related to women. No regular job, or another carreer than women.
[*]So instead, Ive been incorporating daygame in my routine. Of course, when youre just walking from one place to another, you take what you find then and there and when you do, you have little time to make an impact.

In other words: I shoot a lot less that I did before. Time to score is a lot less than before, so I have to find out pretty fast if she is:

[*]Interested from the get go. Is she complying? Does she give you the flirty look or is she cold/defensive?
[*]Did she send you an IOI or not before you approached (this can sometimes not guarantee anything as some of the best lays from daygame have been from girls that never saw me before approaching).
[*]Do you have many things in common. The main reason girls let me go has mainly been because we lack common ground. She appears interested to begin with, liking your looks and appearance, but women have to feel the connection (which in my mind cannot be faked so she auto rejects).

Slavic queen vs icy Nordic girl

So having those elements in mind, Ive had a couple of nice moments the last weeks. First of, I met one of the most sensual women in my pick-up carreer so far. Ukrainian, slender and very feminine. At first (and because I met her on the streets) she was very testy, but I saw them as test (and when I am turned on by someones precense, I tend to pass every shit-test).
I tried to kiss her and she refused. I kept my cool and tried again and it worked. The next time we met was at my place. I coulndt make her decide to sleep with me, or else I would have to rape her (believe me, I tried). So I acted like a gentleman, let her go for a months vacation back to her homeland (she travelled the next day). Would we meet? I dont know, but all I know is that she gave me the taste for slavic women again (these girls are my personal favorite altho they test a lot).

And then we have the Scandinavian woman I met last week. She had nice eyes, red hair, liked hiking and had an interest for nature (this is very common among women here). This one was from Denmark and altho she gave me IOIs, as opposed to Slavic Queen who to begin with ignored me checking her out, she acted a little masculine.
As we met for a drink, she was a less testy than the Ukrainian girl, but she wanted to be logical all the time (like many women over here are primed to be). I tried to be intense and sexual, but couldnt make an impact as she was extremelly defensive. I realized that I wouldnt go anywhere here, so I decided to try out a couple of new things.

[*]Like passing her logical tests by being even more logical (which I believe is a magic-killer).
[*]Giving her compliments about her look and teasing her a little (this made an impact, but she became more nervous around me).

Long story short, she was a little too masculine and logical for my taste - and I was a little to smooth for hers. So we called it a day.

These two are very good examples of one not giving any signals of interest (and going well) and another sending you signals (but we did not match. But after all, we are not everyones type, are we?

Emotions and vibe


A big shift in my approach to seduction has happened; Ive stopped thinking about techniques and instead being more "in the moment". In this new level, I speak to women from a deeper, more emotional level. Most of it is in the eyes and the micro expression, and instead of flirting my way to her pants, I read her unconscious signals.

Of course: I havent had much training doing so, because Ive been concerned about my job, music carreer and so on. But believe me; this level is so much more fun that the last stage. I am more in the moment, more at ease with her tests and nervousness/defensiveness and a lot more okay with things not going my way. No more beating myself for days after a failed set. Instead, I understand that women are abundant so it doesnt matter if this particular girl likes me or not.

So yesterday my vibing skills was put to the test with a girl with boyfriend I met for a couple of hours after taking contact on Instagram.
To begin with, she was acting in a friendly was with me and sexual tension was kept to a minimium. And then I understood that sometimes women have to trust you enough to be sexual around you.

So I deep dived and she opened herself one hour in our "date". The more she told me about her inner world, the easier it became to be sexual around her. She became so addicted by this time, she even followed me to my next meeting (which was in the studio). When we said goodbye, she hugged med intensely and let me touch her back, waist, thigs and stomach (so much that people passing by started turning around). I said we should "take a glass of wine at my place" and she agreed. So we will see what that could lead up to.

The age test
Because I look 10 years younger than I do, flirting with women down to 17 is very easy. But teenagers seem to dismiss me when I straight tell them my age.

So ive come with a good response to make then comfortable with the idea of being with me (after failing a couple of times).

So how old are you, anyways?
Me: How old do you think I am?
I dont know, 24 maybe?
Me: You are so sweet. I am actually so old I was hanging out with the dinosaurs (laughs). ¨

This makes her interested but instead of judging you, she starts being more defensive on your behalf.

You are not that old! I think its fine to hang out with people with experience anyways.
Now she starts qualifying herself to you. You become the one who decides by this time. You could always say "Maybe youre too young to hang out with me" to sement this feeling and make her protest. If she does, you say your actual age (mine is 33). Usually she will reply:

Wow. you seem so young. A lot younger than my uncle/brother.
Me: I think feeling young has everything to do with how you percieve the world

If she accepts this notion, age is not important anymore.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
470
Closed escalation windows and girls I act a little needy around after the first meeting. Still a couple of challenges I have in the game. Of many women I met the second time, a lot are girls I dont manage to sleep with. At the same time, there are several girls I slept with in the first date I couldnt meet up with for a second date. So even if theres a correlation between sleeping together and keeping girls, it hasnt been as strong for me as the litterature says.

But I still meet someone I have good sexual end emotional connection with, but since that is still not abundant, I tend to grasp for more. Girls I do not connect with are, easy to let go, tho.

So in a sense, they feel that little needyness. For some, that might be cute, but for the really attractive girls, it often falls flat.

------

There are many improvements in my game. Every single day, I get strong signals from girls. When I get rejected, I forget what happened within minutes and see opportunities every day. I am also a lot better at "slow game", being able to seduce and make girls in social circles trust me more. Being friendzoned is not a sentence anymore.

So here are stats from my daygame lately:

I get one rejection, three nice conversations and one number from every five women I open. Dates seem easier to come by, but seducing women consistenly is still something to figure out.
 

Alcman

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Paris, France
Welcome back, dude! Love that trick to get her arguing that you are young, haha! Also enjoyed reading about your date with the instagram girl.
kristian said:
The next time we met was at my place. I couln't make her decide to sleep with me, or else I would have to rape her (believe me, I tried).
Could you give some more details on this? Were you both naked, and what did you try?

Best,
A.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
470
Could you give some more details on this? Were you both naked, and what did you try?

A very good question. Ive been very insisting with women I see give me token resistance, and Ive been close to doing things Ive known I would regret if I followed my instincts to the fullest. Usually women who still arent comfortable sleeping with you do the following:

[*]She stops your hand from touching their vaginas firmly. When you retry a little later, her hand is as firm. You do it again, and dont see any "softening" of her touch.

[*]She can start kissing and letting you touch body parts and suddenly snap out of it, giving you a negative body language (closing up, turning her back to you) after the fact. You retry after building up comfort, only to get the same reaction.

[*]She outright says: "no, I cant" doing it several times thrugout the seduction phase.

Getting these three signs in combination, is a sure sign that she is actually resisting your advances to sleep together.

On the other hand, if she:

[*]Is softer with her hands when you touch her the next time.

[*]Says "no" but still let you escalate a little further every time.

[*]And let you finger her vagina, then you know the resistance is token.

The main thing is, Id rather take my escalation prosess step by step instead of jumping into her pants without her non-verbal conscent. Besides, risking getting a sexual charge against you is not worth it. Girls could like that you take them by force, but ASD can kick in, making rape accusations a big problem for you.

And how long is long enough to try to sleep with her? I could always "tire" a girl out, after several hours of trying, but that would make the whole thing tiresome. After all, seducing a woman shouldnt be hard.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
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Messages
470
However, thinking back of that interaction, I think I made a big mistake by just being horny and almost not building comfort at all. We met twice, first time I couldnt take her home because I had to run to a party I was having (and I dont like to mix lovers in the same world my girlfriend is a part of). So I made the interaction short, building a ton of sexual tension to make her prime to meet up again.

The second time she went straight to my house, we did not talk so much (I think 10 minutes) before I tried getting her into bed. The fact that she resisted sexual advances (altho, we kissed a lot) makes me realize I did not make her trust me enough to have sex:

Today I got the following message (after me trying to set up a meeting):

"Kristian, I like you and our meetings. But I am not comfortable jumping into bed with someone I barely know", luckily, she agreed to meet me again next week but I see the point: I did not make any effort trying to get to know her and deep diving. Instead, I was to caught up with the sexual part of our interaction, only building attraction without making her relaxed enough.

So back to the very basics here: If you want a girl to sleep with you (unless she is DTF from the get-go) , spend an hour or two switching between attraction and comfort to make her "know you". A girl who "knows" you, trust you enough. A basic thing I tend to forget when the tension is high and she is nervous around me. Big mistake, but lesson learned.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
470
One quick confession to make: I got the diagnose bipolar disorder after having several sessions and tests with my psychiatrist. This explains a lot and makes things a lot easier to comprehend regarding my lack of consistency in keeping jobs/career and why I often tend to sabotage relationships that inherently are good for me.

When it comes to game it is the main reason I go through cycles where everything falls into place, followed by several weeks where self-doubt ruins my interactions. I am in the middle of this right now, making me see every moment with women in a negative light. I am more nervous around women (due to my depression making me "read" signs in a negative way), needy and don't act as fast when I get approach invitations. I always knew something has been off in my life and getting this diagnose make me do things to try to "smooth" out my depressive weeks. I am what people might call a highly functional bipolar person, however going through this current down-period can be a little difficult.

So I am doing these things:

¤Like meditating and visualizing a lot more.
¤Being more concerned with the fundamentals than being "in the moment (the latter seem a lot easier when I am in my manic periods).
¤Having LSD at hand in worst case scenarios, just to disclose my inner voice that sabotage my "game".
¤The same with sleeping pills, if nights get too long and I need a night sleep.

I am the same person and girls seem to give me the same amount of signs of interest. The only thing is how I perceive their signs. In my manic periods, I tend to not care if rejected, in fact, I find it kinda amusing.

-----

Crazy 20 yo

Another confession: I am a magnet for crazy chicks.
A couple of days ago, I had an amazing date with a BPD-girl (Borderline personality disorder). She was also of the naive kind, the one who thinks sex = love https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-many-partners-has-your-girlfriend-had-find-out-here. So seducing her to the fullest was out of the question (and I tried every trick to make her submit sexually).

We met as usual, on the streets after she gave me signs of interest outside my workplace. The next time we saw each other, I got her number, she say she was in a ltr and I said I could invite her next time I was going to sing. She did not reply to my text until 3 weeks later, excusing herself and wanting to meet up.

Long story short: I managed to kiss-close after failing to do so several times. And I even got her home (since I moved out of the inner city, this seem to be a lot more difficult since I live 30 minutes away). We kissed and she slept in my bed, but she is crazy. And crazy is not the easiest altho I believe the sex must be amazing.

New level of connection
I am getting very good at vibing with girls lately, so much so that they tell me what's going inside their inner world without me talking much at all (something I did not do a month ago when Slavic queen met me and I was just about being sexual).

Being able to connect with women doesn't seem to be affected by my low periods either, making sexual tension more intense since they trust me a lot more.

However, approaching seems a little more difficult. What I need now, is a friend to push me here (which seem to be rare since basically no-one cold approaches in Oslo). Next month, a friend of mine whos out of town and the only one here that is serious about this will be back. Cant wait to hit the streets again with someone else.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Yesterday morning: Locking eyes with cute girl. I smile, she doesn't smile back but is curious of who I am. I introduce myself in a fundamentally perfect way.

Do you speak, Norwegian?
Her: Yes?
I just passed you by... And I had to come over and say.... I found you very cute. Kristian is my name.

I pre-opened, of course and made her give me her name and what she was going to do that day. We talk a little and I make her hook by saying I was going to a psychiatrist and that guys have trouble talking about their inner feelings right after she says she studys psychology. She had a boyfriend, but me being able to find many commonalities and making them personal, made her hook. Then another girl starts looking at me, but that would mean I would be coming late to work and I cant risk losing my job because I was flirting with random women ;)

------

Today a woman at work flirted back, that felt nice. Then a Pakistani girl smiled at me when everyone was looking the other way, before a blonde young girl looked at me, looked down and smiled to herself. A little voice inside my head told me to run after her, but I don't want to be seen by my coworkers flirting with women (gotta be smart about this) when they don't know how my relationship with my girlfriend is as they believe I am only with her. I don't believe telling this to anyone would serve me. How my relationship is, is the only a thing between me and my woman. Not others.

Then I walk outside again. A cute woman passes me by. Around 40 years. Checks me out and smiles. Again, I made an excuse and saw her disappear from my life.

Then a younger girl was curious about me as I went out later this evening. She was surrounded by dudes, so I did not want to be "another guy standing in line".

And looking back at all these chances I kind of hate myself for not taking any of those, and these are clear signs in a given day. I also remember one thing: The best sets I've ever had, came after a string of rejections, chances lost, girls that slipped through my hands the last minute and so on. And when I get that amazing experience, I forget all those.

So its really time to start getting some rejections.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
470
Making progress again, slowly and sure.

Two days ago, I opened three girls from cold approach, none of them really interesting prospects but my main goal was to be okay again with rejections and having fundamentals on lock.

[*]When your fundamentals are on lock (eye contact, voice, delivery, pre-open), girls at least give you an okay conversation.
[*]On the other hand, if you have sloppy fundamentals, even girls that send you signals could reject you because they are afraid of you being a creep.

So yesterday I had a great date with slavic queen. And wow, she was testing me like hell saying things like:

Are you okay with just being friends?

The reason I did not sleep with you last time is because I don't like you like that.
Outright turning head away when I tried to kiss her in the beginning.
Talking about other guys that want to date her.

Of course, since I don't listen to words, I just smiled at myself (because she was still all over me physically). We drank a lot but I also realized that even when I turned things around by deep diving a lot more, it might be too late to put myself as purely a lover. So I had to go for the date compression thing. Next Friday, we will meet at her place and see what could happen there.

On another note, I saw BPD-girl from last week pass me by on my way to a party. She was with her bf walking hand in hand smiling to herself. Looks like she managed to save the relationship she was complaining about. I am really glad for her.

And I had one very clear opportunity to approach today, and kind of hate myself for not approaching at all... From now on I will implement the folling rule, if a girl is not busy and she smiles while she passes me by; I have to approach.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
470
Whenever I feel like approach anxiety starts creeping in again, I just adopt the following mindset: "She will probably reject me anyways". https://www.girlschase.com/content/tactics-tuesdays-shell-probably-reject-me-so-lets-try

This is a very positive approach to have, because every time I act upon it, my sets seem to be ok (no harsh rejections/ and getting nice conversations). Of course, I've been running too much from place to place to just be hanging around looking for women to talk to. But whenever I have an hour or so by myself in the city, my main goal seems to talk to three girls with a fundamentally perfect voice, posture and eye contact. This makes them often give me a shot for a conversation.

My main fear (being rejected in public spaces) has been one of my main struggles so far, I am working really well on handling this.
And I am also acting faster when I see girls sending me IOIs, altho still not perfectly free from my fears on this thing.

Non-needyness is getting stronger

So Slavic Queen is falling hard for me and we almost had sex but she confessed having a bf, making the decision to wait for it (couldn't get past her panties but ate her out/fingered her). She agreed on meeting up again (and now with MDMA involved). You see, one of my main goals for 2019 is to "save" a girl by being lovers with her, Slavic queen seems to be a good candidate, but let's see what happens. I still got plenty of motivation to meet up with new women - already having a "date" tomorrow.

Speaking of different women, I really like playing with my energy and sexual intentions with girls that are on the "fence" with me (like the women I've gotten with lately). These are girls with boyfriends, but I manage to do things I just could dream about doing last year.

¤And it's all about being okay with any circumstances. If she says no, no worries. If she throws a bf-rejection at you, you still care to be with her.
¤So if you still hang out, and build an enormous amount of rapport combined with light conversations, while still being sexual with your intentions (touches, eye contact, voice tonality, and flirty remarks), you'll be able to shatter her defenses.

This is the type of game I want to hone to the next level, as being a strictly cold approacher only makes me score with the immediate yes-es. To be able to lower my batting average, being able to implement zen-game seems to be the natural next level, altho I will never leave cold approach. That's for sure.

So how do I make progress in my zen-game? By having as many deep interactions as possible. So I am also going out with "friends" and girls that are "maybes" around me, just to see how much I can get away with. I am making a lot of progress, tho.

But I also want to perfect my cold-approach game this year.
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
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Messages
470
As a result of warmer weather and a lot more sun, I've upped my street approaches a lot.

And the first couple of approaches seem to be the hardest. You really have to psyche yourself up, but when I manage to do four or five approaches, something weird happens: I stop caring about rejections.

And when I do, girls seem to be more open to my advances. Today was one of those days, an altho I got a couple of contacts (of about 8 approaches), I still hasn't got any response. That's okay, because I know I have to put in the numbers.

For you guys who strictly do cold approach: You have to check out Mike Mehlmans site https://mikemehlman.net/, he is very different from most pickup artist out there, as he only do screening game, looking for as many rejections as possible. His veiws on dating/women and approaching are refreshing and reminds us about the numbers aspect of the game.

------------

Other than that; I've been doing a lot of flirting lately. Actively going out and trying to see what I can get away with. It is easier to see which girls are sending signals and how to react to them. I also see that the prettiest girls are those who welcome my approaches the most. Nice to know we recognize each others SMV.

But I will still be active with my advances in day game. I will increase my approaches by a lot more this summer.
 
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