E's Journal

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Sorry about the length of this post, but there's a lot to cover. I've been working on my seduction skills privately for a few months, but a series of recent rejections have motivated me to start this journal.

Introduction

21 year old college senior who has never been good with girls. Found GC in November, and it has changed my life. Not only am I better with girls, but I'm better socially in general. I have an easier time meeting new people, form deeper connections, and garner more respect.

I started getting serious and approaching random girls in late January. As a student at an engineering school, I don't have access to many attractive women, but I try to make the best of my situation. Most days, before and after class, I'll visit the library and the study/hangout building and approach any cute girls I find who are alone. Most of the single ones I meet give me their numbers. When I first started, I was shocked by how easy it is. Getting a number is easy, that is. They are worthless, though - no responses to my texts, and I've gotten 0 dates. What's going on? What should my success rates be here? I use a direct opener, keep the interactions short, and ask for a date before I get the number. I currently have 2 promising numbers who have responded to my texts, plus 2 that I haven't tried yet. I'll text them all next week when I return from spring break.

I still managed to hook up with one of the girls who wouldn't set up a date through text, because she was at a party at my fraternity house. It was just a matter of getting her alone in my room. She resisted for a long time because "she's not easy" and "I'm not serious about her," but I followed Chase's advice on overcoming objections and it worked like a charm. We would have slept together, but her friend interrupted us...This was very motivating despite the interruption because in the past I never would have persisted beyond her objections. Thanks to this site I knew what she wanted regardless of the words she said. Thank you Chase!

I'm currently on spring break in Florida. Originally planned to bring a friend who knows about my efforts and has been very helpful, discussing seduction and critiquing me. Since he flaked last minute I'm on my own, but it's probably for the best since it forces me to push my limits. This city isn't a big spring break location, so no scads of girls looking for sex or giant parties, but I have an apartment to myself. It's near the beach, near a college that is mostly female, and has a great view. Consequently, my goal for this week is simple: find a cute girl, bring her back here, and sleep with her. Shouldn't be too hard, right?

But for some reason, I've been getting blown out. I must have approached 20-30 girls so far and have nothing to show for it. Here's my daily routine:
  • wake up around noon and approach girls at the college that's near my apartment for around 2 hours.
  • go to the beach around 2-3 and approach girls there
  • go to a nearby shopping center in the evenings
I strongly prefer daygame to nightgame, so I haven't tried any bars. I will if I have to, but I think it'll be mostly an older crowd in this city.

The college here is a Christian college, so lots of couples and a surprising number of married girls. Still, I've met a decent number of single girls. I struggle to hold a conversation with them, though. They act disinterested and skeptical, and I think I come off as creepy. Why is it so much harder here than at my school? Is it because the girls are religious, or because I stop them as they're walking instead of meeting them when they're sitting down as I do at my school, or am I just getting nervous? Strangely, the girls who are in a relationship are much more open to me. This is something I've noticed at my school, too - any comments?

Here's how I start these conversations:

me, from the side: Hey, are you single?
her, skeptically: yes
me: What are you up to today, other than picking up boys?
she replies
me: Do you go here?
her: yes
me: Then tell me, how do you ever get any work done with the beach so near by?

followed by a bit of deep diving, then asking her out. Always a no...

The beach has been better. On the 2 days when the weather was nice and people were out I approached sets of 2 girls with indirect-direct and hung out with them for a while. I failed to frame the interactions as sexual, though, and nothing came of it.

I still haven't given up on bedding a random girl this week. Whether or not I succeed, though, this trip has been helpful in that it's given me an opportunity to focus all my energy on improving and pushing my limits in a city that's far away from home full of girls I'll never see again. Some examples of pushing my limits:
  • Approached my first set of 2 girls (4 sets so far)
  • Approached a mother/daughter pair. Still can't believe I did that. The mother loved it, even if the daughter wasn't very interested.
  • Approaching girls as they're walking. In the past I've only approached girls who were sitting down. I'd spot them, sit near them, collect myself, then approach. Here I must approach immediately without hesitation.

Things to work on:
  • Being more sexual and playful
  • Getting girls engaged in conversation
  • Persisting: I'm not quick enough on my feet yet to overcome objections, which is frustrating because I know that at least with some of the girls I could have kept the interaction going.
  • Launching: I still hesitate sometimes and lose opportunities.
  • Touch: I barely touch girls. It feels forced, but I've been trying to push myself.

I can feel myself getting better and more confident despite my failures. This post is already very long and it's late, so I'll stop here. I'll write more tomorrow with more detail. Thanks for any advice you guys can give.

E
 

PrettyDecent

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
876
Heya E,

Good luck, man. Looking forward to seeing the progress you make; always inspirational.

determined said:
Here's how I start these conversations:

me, from the side: Hey, are you single?
her, skeptically: yes
me: What are you up to today, other than picking up boys?
she replies
me: Do you go here?
her: yes
me: Then tell me, how do you ever get any work done with the beach so near by?

followed by a bit of deep diving, then asking her out. Always a no...

I was getting pretty adverse reactions when I was opening like this, too. May have something to do with actual approach anxiety, and the way it affects the voice. I've been getting better results from asking how their day's are going, and then saying they look cute.

I also admire how bold you are with some of these approaches, that's way cool.
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Today

Woke up today and felt drained. It's been an intense week, so I didn't feel up for my regular routine. Went straight to the beach without prowling the Christian college. On my way there I only saw one cute girl. I approached her. PrettyDecent, I took your advice and it may have worked, so thank you. She wasn't immediately interested, but she wasn't creeped out either. Still got a "no" when I asked her to walk with me, but that was my fault for asking for compliance way too soon. Didn't even deep dive first. After 2 "nos" I left it at that.

Didn't approach any girls on the beach, mostly because I chickened out, but also because there weren't many of them and none looked very inviting. A question that came up: How do you approach a girl who's tanning face-down? Is this an appropriate thing to do? How could she possibly not be startled? There was one good-looking girl lying by herself near me, but I didn't realize she was attractive until she got up to leave. Wasn't confident enough to stop her, and I left soon after.

HOWEVER, it all worked out. Due to my timing in leaving, there was a cute girl who happened to be heading in the same direction as I was (How did I miss her at the beach?). She was behind me and on the other side of the street, so I crossed over and walked really slowly so she would pass me. And I mean REALLY slowly. Seriously, how leisurely can a girl walk? Eventually she was right beside me, and I turned around and followed PrettyDecent's approach. She seemed indifferent, but since the walk was long I had plenty of time. Way longer than most of my interactions with lots of deep diving and me revealing little about myself. We were both pretty low-energy the whole time. Managed to shove her playfully a few times, which she liked. I really wanted to use Chase's trick of taking her hand and wrapping it around you, but couldn't find the right opportunity.

When it was time for us to split up I asked her for a drink later (she was meeting friends for lunch so no instant date). I could see on her face she was glad I asked. She said yes and I got her number, telling her to text me after lunch. After she built up a bit of distance I called out her name, and when she turned around I blew her a kiss. I've been playing around with blowing girls kisses (more on that later), and they love it, but this was the first time I did it to a girl when the interaction was still on. I think I saw a hint of a smile as she turned back around. What do you guys think, solid move or rookie mistake? Texted her about 20 minutes later "Hey ____, glad I met you. Text me after lunch. -E"

It's funny that I saw the most success on the one day I decided to relax. Should I make my interactions longer? My conversations at my school where I've gotten numbers have mostly been longer than my conversations here where I've been rejected, but those numbers tended to flake. Hopefully she texts me back.

I want to also write about my past few days here, but this post is long already, so I'll split them up.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
More detail on past days' highlights

I mentioned above that I've been playing around with blowing girls kisses. 3 days ago I found Andrew Hale's videos. He does weird things and films people's responses, and one of the videos was him blowing kisses at random people. On seeing it I thought to myself, "this would be a great way to pre-open girls in some situations." Since then I've been looking for opportunities to try it.

First attempt: girl on Christian college campus was was walking towards me on the other side of the street. Called out "Hey," and when she turned around I blew her a kiss. Her reaction: "I'm married, so you need to calm down!" Haha.

Second attempt: I was crossing the street and a car stopped for me. Of the 2 girls inside I got a good look only at the driver. Very cute. We made eye contact and smiled as I stepped onto the street. Then, when I was right in front of their car, I turned towards her and blew her a kiss. The look on her face...she was surprised, amused, and flattered. It was perfect. By the time I realized that I should have turned around and walked up to her window, it was too late. No matter, though. That reaction gave me a much-needed boost after a string of rejections. I had a huge, stupid smile on my face for a while. Making women feel like that, that's what it's all about. I want that response every time.

Third attempt: Lets first rewind 3 days. Besides the blowing kisses video, I also watched this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABgL2Lco ... r_embedded. How do I get girls to respond that way to me? Anyway, yesterday at the shopping center I saw a cute Latina working a smoothie stand, and decided to imitate this video.

me: are you single?
her: yeah, why?
me: do you find me attractive?
her: you're not really my type. *ouch.* I'm definitely not as handsome as Andrew Hale. Kept my cool, though.
me: what is your type then?
her: that's personal
me: ok, I just thought you were cute.


Then as I turned away I blew her a kiss, and she giggled. When I heard that giggle I knew I should've turned back around and asked her when she gets off work, but again I didn't think quickly enough and I walked away. I'll stop by there again today or tomorrow, and hopefully she'll still be working.

A second highlight was my approach to the mother+daughter. I want to write it down in detail both to share, and also so I never forget. The sidewalk by the beach here is raised. The height varies, but at this particular spot the sidewalk was about half my height above the sand (I'm 5' 6''). It has a waist-high wall between it and the sand, and as a result feels like a balcony. Every 2 blocks or so are steps that lead down to the beach.

While walking down the beach looking for girls I see 2 women standing on the sidewalk overlooking the beach. It looks to me like they're a mother and daughter, and like the daughter, in a red dress, is attractive. It's hard to see from this distance. I'm very intimidated, so since I have no excuse to get a closer look (why would I be walking away from the beach, toward the wall, only to stare at these women and turn back around?) I move on.

Pretty soon I pass the last of the sunbathers, an attractive girl sitting by herself, so I turn back around and approach her: "Hey, are you single?" She seemed flattered, but had a boyfriend. On my way back I reach the 2 women again and feel the urge to go for it. Still wildly intimidated, I stop to collect myself and turn to face away from them, towards the beach. Should I do it? Can I do it? I can't believe I'm doing this. God help me... I take a deep breath, put on my confident face, and move my feet.

I arrive at the wall, look up at the women, and reach up with one arm to grab the top of it. This gives me something to do with my hand - the other hand is holding my flip flops - and also allows me to show off my delts (I'm pretty muscular - maybe that's why I've seen warmer responses at the beach?). From up close I can see that one of the women is definitely older than the other, and that the young one is positively gorgeous. Wow.

me: Hi, are you two mother and daughter?
them: Yes
me: That's cute
They laugh
me: I just noticed you two standing here, (to the mom): and I wanted to tell your daughter (to the daughter): that she is absolutely beautiful. (to the mom again): Is that ok?
At this point they looked confused and started speaking rapidly in French. Crap, haha.
me: Francais? (I knew those years of high school French would come in handy some day)
mom: Yes
me: Do you speak English?
mom: Yes, I understand some.
me: Did you understand what I said?
mom: No
me, in halting French: Can you translate?
mom: No, no, it's her who knows better English.
me, to the daughter: Did you understand what I said?
daughter: No.
me, in French: You are very beautiful.

Here the mother laughed and said "That's very nice." I don't remember the girl's reaction, but I think it was awkward for her.

me: Can I steal you for a bit?
her: What?
me: Can I borrow you?
mom: It's ok, I don't know English, I'm not here.
daughter, in an unsure tone, not a hostile one: What do you want?
me: To talk
her: Oh, no.


What I should have done here is held up 2 fingers and said "Oui, 2 minutes," but again I wasn't quick enough on my feet, so I said ok and walked away. I felt great after. Strange how once I started talking the nervousness went away. I was in the zone. And she was sooo hot.

Earlier that day I also approached a pair of girls on the beach.

me: Are you guys from the area?
they responded
me: OK, I just thought you were cute, wanted to come say hi.


At this point the cuter one started giggling and continued to giggle for a long time. That was great, I wish I could put girls in that state every time. I sat down next to them, but it turned out the giggly girl had a boyfriend. I wasn't as attracted to the other one, nor she to me, so we talked for a while and then I left (to find the mother+daughter).

That's enough for now. Another long post, sorry guys.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Bad night. The girl I met on the way back from he beach never texted me. When I gave up on her I went back to ask out that girl from the smoothie stand. As soon as I walked up, though, she acted as if I was some creep. Usually I don't take things personally, and I don't know if it was because I had imagined the interaction and built it up in my head, but this hit me hard. I started thinking, "am I that ugly?" I never thought so before, but maybe I am. What was it about my vibe that made her react that way?

I walked around for a while with an empty feeling. Then sat alone with the same feeling. Thinking about this site helped a bit. When a homeless man asked me for money, that consoled me, too. He deserved it for reminding me that things aren't as bad as I feel. Then as I was walking I heard a live band play "Land Down Under." I used to listen to that song all the time with friends who've already graduated, so it brought back memories and made me smile. I stayed until the song was over and headed back to the apartment. Didn't see any girls I wanted to approach, so that makes only 3 for the day.

I'm not writing this to solicit apologetic comments. Any sympathy is appreciated, but I don't need to be told to persevere or "keep my head high." I'm a big boy and can take care of myself. Any specific tips and advice, though, would be great. Mainly I started this journal for myself. Usually I share this stuff with my best friend, but he's not in Florida with me. It's nice to get things off my chest, and I also gain insight when I put them into words.

I have only one more day here. Really crave a break, but I'll push through.

E
 

PrettyDecent

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
876
determined said:
Then as I was walking I heard a live band play "Land Down Under."

I always smile when I hear that song too, but it's because I live there ;)

I'm curious, are you reading the e-book Chase made, "How to make girls chase"? It's a great read, and it's got some tips about opening with good comfort. If you haven't, it'll be like the heavens opened and Jesus shined down to give you a high-five.

determined said:
me: Hi, are you two mother and daughter?
them: Yes
me: That's cute
They laugh
me: I just noticed you two standing here, (to the mom): and I wanted to tell your daughter (to the daughter): that she is absolutely beautiful. (to the mom again): Is that ok?
At this point they looked confused and started speaking rapidly in French. Crap, haha.
me: Francais? (I knew those years of high school French would come in handy some day)
mom: Yes
me: Do you speak English?
mom: Yes, I understand some.
me: Did you understand what I said?
mom: No
me, in halting French: Can you translate?
mom: No, no, it's her who knows better English.
me, to the daughter: Did you understand what I said?
daughter: No.
me, in French: You are very beautiful.


I thought this was smooth. Always a great experience when you can talk to someone in their native tongue. Sometimes it'll get straight into that rapport.

determined said:
me: are you single?
her: yeah, why?
me: do you find me attractive?
her: you're not really my type. *ouch.* I'm definitely not as handsome as Andrew Hale. Kept my cool, though.
me: what is your type then?
her: that's personal
me: ok, I just thought you were cute.


Then as I turned away I blew her a kiss, and she giggled. When I heard that giggle I knew I should've turned back around and asked her when she gets off work, but again I didn't think quickly enough and I walked away. I'll stop by there again today or tomorrow, and hopefully she'll still be working.

Definitely a good sign if she said yes, so the opening must've been solid. The "do you find me attractive?" may have been asking for a little too much investment for this early on in an interaction. I may have skipped straight to the "I thought you were cute, so I wanted to come talk to you. I'm E.". (As a side note, if you are opening with your body facing her, sometimes it can be intimidating. Paired with the "are you single", it can be fatal. Have you tried opening from the side in your interactions?")

Cool to see you are pushing through man, look forward to seeing your journal tomorrow!

Jake
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
PrettyDecent said:
I'm curious, are you reading the e-book Chase made, "How to make girls chase"? It's a great read, and it's got some tips about opening with good comfort. If you haven't, it'll be like the heavens opened and Jesus shined down to give you a high-five.

I plan to read it. Just want to give Chase all my money, haha. BTW Chase, if you're reading this, if you're ever in San Francisco you have a place to stay.

PrettyDecent said:
Definitely a good sign if she said yes, so the opening must've been solid. The "do you find me attractive?" may have been asking for a little too much investment for this early on in an interaction. I may have skipped straight to the "I thought you were cute, so I wanted to come talk to you. I'm E.". (As a side note, if you are opening with your body facing her, sometimes it can be intimidating. Paired with the "are you single", it can be fatal. Have you tried opening from the side in your interactions?")

I think she simply answered the question honestly because I put her on the spot. Regarding the "do you find me attractive?" question, yeah, definitely too much. I saw Andrew Hale pull it off in that video and I wanted to do it, too, haha. His girl was obviously interested as soon as he asked if she was single, though. My mistake was that I didn't adapt my plan to my girl's reaction when she wasn't immediately into it. Lesson learned.

I usually open from the side, but with her that wasn't an option because she was behind a counter. She definitely seemed intimidated, though, you're right. It was the second interaction, where she acted like I was a stalker, that got to me.

Thanks for the feedback.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Today

Much better than yesterday. Feeling confident again. Prowled the college here for a bit. Only approached 2 girls. One didn't stop to talk to me and the other declined when I asked her out. I chickened out with more girls than I approached.

Since it was finally super nice out the beach was packed and I quickly found an attractive girl lying by herself. Brunette in a blue bikini. She was easy to talk to and asked for my name first. From her voice I immediately deduced that she was older than me. An excerpt from our early conversation:

her: How old are you?
me: How old are you?
her: Haha, I asked you first.
me: That's a pretty rude question to ask.
her: No it's not.
me: I'm 21.
her: Are you really? (I look young)
me: Yeah.
her: I'm 29.
me: That's fine.


Lots of deep diving. I know so much about her, and she knows a little about me, too. The conversation was great, but I again struggled to frame the interaction sexually and get her attracted. Teased her a bit about picking me up and such. The whole time I don't think she ever turned her body towards me. She was either on her stomach or her back, but her head, or at least her eyes were mostly pointed at me. Only touched her once, because she was lying down and we weren't right up against each other so it was awkward. Lesson: lay my towel practically on top of hers next time.

At one point she spotted a friend of hers. Multiple times she said that she should go say hi (bad), but that she was too lazy (good - was it really laziness or did she just prefer to stay with me?). Eventually she did decide to go over. She invited me to come with her, but I declined. She said she'd be back soon. Took a while, though, and I used the time to go in the water.

When it came time to leave I asked her for a ride back to my place. I finally had the chance to push her playfully as we walked. She said that her car was a mess and I replied that people with messy cars are much more interesting and spontaneous, to which she agreed. When we reached my driveway I invited her up. She declined in a tone that didn't invite persistence. It wasn't a hostile tone, though. I said, "OK, but turn your head this way," and went for the kiss. She turned me down here, too, and we said a friendly goodbye. It seemed like she wasn't expecting me to make a move.

How can I convey my intentions more clearly from the start so girls aren't surprised later? Thinking back, I should have persisted at least a little more. Could have definitely gotten the kiss by saying that I was "leaving tomorrow and we'd never see each other again, so we must do it". It would have been nice...

So I found myself back at the apartment building, but with no girl. What to do? Go back to the beach to get another, of course.

On the way there I saw a cute little Asian girl walking all alone. As soon as I approached she was super warm and friendly and started asking me questions. She's here visiting a friend from the college and I think she feels lonely and out of place. Shoved her a bit. Didn't pull her in (damn it). Asked her out when it was time to split up. She wasn't sure what her plans were for the night, so we exchanged numbers and said she'd let me know.

As I write this we're in the middle of a text conversation. She said she's "out and about" and asked me to come meet her. Trying to figure out logistics, but she takes forever to respond. Probably drunk with friends. I'm not in the mood to socialize with lots of people, and I know that meeting them downtown won't be conductive to bedding her as at the end of the night she'll leave with her friend with whom she's staying. Also, the last thing I need is for one of the girls I approached this week to be there. Might be a funny scene, though. Will try to get her to meet me at my place, but not expecting anything. The fact that she texted me is motivating, though.

Rewind back to right after I met her. Continuing on my way to the beach, I saw a girl jogging in the same direction as me on the other side of the street. I love joggers. It's just so much fun to run up beside them and see their reactions. The jogging also gives me an easy topic to banter and deep dive about.

Looking at those last 2 sentences I realize how far I've come. One of the first types of girls I tried to approach during the day were joggers, and it was so scary. I'd chicken out more often than not, and when I did approach I'd be so nervous that I'd say the wrong thing. Now I long to spot a jogging girl and I never hesitate. It's only been 2 months.

Anyway, I crossed and jogged up beside her. An excerpt:

her: How old do you think I am?
me, decisively: 18. (knew she wasn't)
her: Actually, be honest.
me, pretending to think and then again decisively: ummmmm...19!
her: I'm 28.


Note to self: move here when I'm in my late 20s. That demographic is set. I would've guessed she was 23. Some banter, and playful shoving, but then she told me to have a good night and I let her go.

It was a bit later by now, so no girls at the beach. Hung out there for a while, then walked back. On my way saw 2 girls walking. Passed by them initially, but then they stopped by the railing to look out over the intercoastal. They were practically asking for it, so I turned around. Some nice conversation, asked one of them out, got a "no."

I also left a voicemail for the girl who didn't text me back yesterday: "Hey, I'm leaving tomorrow, so if you still want to hang out let me know." Worth a shot, I've got nothing to lose.

That's it for spring break, unless something happens with that Asian girl. I'll let you know if it does. That makes 6 approaches today, with 1 platonic instant date and 1 number from a girl who really wanted to go out with me.

Looking forward to return to familiar territory and relax. This week has been intense. It's nice when you have no responsibilities for a week and can make practicing game your job.

Things I learned this week:
  • Pushed some boundaries.
  • I need to adapt my approach to the situation. With girls on the beach who are just waiting for a man I need to be more forward. With girls on the street who aren't ready for me I need to tone it down because my aggression scares them off.
  • When approaching girls on the street, I must get a deeper conversation going. I need to figure out how to delay them if they're in a rush. My successes were with girls with whom I was able to walk for a while.
  • I must practice touching girls, especially pulling them in.
  • If I see a girl all by herself, I'll never hesitate again.
  • Just effing do it. It's hard, and I still chicken out a lot, but just effing do it.

Tomorrow I'll be in NYC. I'll be tired because my flight's very early in the morning and I'll be with friends, so daygame is unlikely, but they'll probably want to go out, so if I'm up for it perhaps nightgame. I'll soon have my best friend again to talk to, but I think I'll continue posting here anyway. I've never kept a diary before and this is nice.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Returning to school from spring break, I've been hit by the lack of attractive girls here. It's a real contrast. As a result, my rate of approaching has gone way down, but I've been actively looking.

Sunday we went to the bar. Quiet night, plus I was with my friends, so I only approached one girl. Very attractive, but a little weird - her facial expressions and reactions weren't natural. I didn't get much of a chance to talk to her before her less attractive friend joined us. The conversation went relatively well until that point (she told me she wanted to be a cop, I asked her if she just wanted to frisk people), but her body language still conveyed neutrality. At first her friend was cold and dismissive of me. It was definitely my fault - it's hard to be witty and interesting while at the same time being open and accepting. I know I came off as a dick at first. We got past it, though, and I was talking to both girls. Still no signs of attraction, though. When I had to leave I asked to meet her again, and she said I could see her again at the bar, but she doesn't give out her number (read: she doesn't give out her number to me). This approach is noteworthy because my friends were there, so a) I got over my self-consciousness that they were watching, and b) They were impressed.
 

PrettyDecent

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
876
Hey E, good to see ya back on the journals. Cool stuff on banter, I'm similarly working there, too.

Jake
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Here are my exploits for the week so far. One girl I met at the library Tuesday was a little weird and not as attractive from up close, so after about 10 minutes of conversation I invited her to my place to "watch a movie," and when she said she was busy I left it at that and didn't get a number.

Another one Tuesday, absolutely adorable, gave me a great reception, smiling and giggling. I found out eventually that she had a boyfriend, though. This is a recurring theme with me. Girls with boyfriends react much better to me. Why is this? My friend thinks it's because there's no risk for them. They know they'll never actually go out with me, so they can be flirty and enjoy the attention without worrying. After I left this girl, I turned around and saw that she was trying (and failing) to suppress a smile. She loved it.

Note to self: speak slower. The first girl was foreign and told me later that she had trouble understanding me (this is part of the reason she was being weird), and the second girl had to ask me to repeat something.

Yesterday I messed up my first approach. Saw the girl sitting, but there was nowhere to sit near her and I wanted to make eye contact before I walked up to her so I didn't surprise her. Ended up standing around creepily for a bit, then catching her as she started walking away. Indirect direct, she gave me her name, but did not engage and was texting while talking to me. I didn't know how to react to that, so I asked "not in a talkative mood?" which I know is a mistake because it shows insecurity. How to I respond to a girl texting or otherwise not paying attention to me? My friend suggested saying "Hey, tell your friends you're talking to the sexiest man alive. You can't text right now."

Then I approached a really beautiful girl with a direct opener. She reacted very well. My friend was watching and he said she blushed when I started talking, but I again found out that has a boyfriend when I asked her out. I responded with "How would you like to have 2?" She laughed, "You're really cute, but I don't think that's a good idea." As I walked by her 2 minutes later I blew her a kiss. She loved it. A bit later I saw her holding hands with her boyfriend, haha. I'm glad I had my friend there because one other observation he made was that I was leaning towards her with my elbows on the table the whole time, which made it seem like I was all business. I made a note of it and changed it up from then on.

The union has 3 floors, so that left one more. I found a cute girl up there and went direct. The conversation went well and we agreed to grab coffee Sunday or Monday. She wasn't as giggly or full of smiles as the girls with boyfriends, but she was definitely into me. I'll be very surprised if this one flakes.

With the union exhausted I headed over to the library (I don't have class Wednesdays so this is pretty much all I did yesterday). Stumbled upon a decent-looking girl on the third floor. I only had 2 minutes with her before she had to go to class, and when I asked her for coffee she said "Coffee makes me jittery. If I see you around I'll say hi, though."

Next I approached an attractive blonde. When I got close I realized that she's older than me, but it was too late to change my mind. I could only hope she wasn't too much older... This threw me off and I stumbled over my opener. Calling her "adorable" wasn't terribly appropriate, either. A bit later:

her: I'm an MBA student
me: So you might be my boss one day. Are you sure you can handle me? Can you be strict enough to enforce discipline?
her: I'm sorry, you're way too cheesy, and I don't know who put you up to this...


I recovered, but when she told me that she's had a boyfriend for 3 years I switched from flirting mode to please-critique-me mode. She said I wasn't too forward, but I was too "suave" and "smooth" and was using lines. I wasn't using lines, but the fact that I stumbled over my opener must have made me look rehearsed. And is there such a thing as too suave and smooth? Isn't that what I'm going for? She said yes, if that's the real me. I assured her it was. I also teased her about liking geeky guys who stumble all over themselves. I then left to scout out the other floors, and on my way back out, just to confirm that yes, I really am that guy, I blew her a kiss. She loved it, just like all the other girls. I think her reaction was just a fluke because I tripped over my words and because I was so obviously younger than her.

Next I walked back to the union. No new girls this time, but I did see a cute girl from one of my classes. I'd only spoken to her once before: walked with her one day after class a few weeks ago, and even though it came up that she had a boyfriend, I asked her out anyways. She reminded me that she's taken. So yesterday I spotted her sitting with a friend and parked myself at a table facing her. I could see that she was glancing at me, but every time I tried to make eye contact she would look away. Eventually I got impatient and called out her name. When she looked over I beckoned her to join me. She smiled and shook her head. I nodded, and she again smiled, shook her head, and looked down. I kept trying to make eye contact, but didn't call her again, which may have been a mistake.

Later I ate dinner with a friend in the dining hall. At the end of our meal I saw 2 cute girls enter and sit together (well, 1 cute one and one ok one, but the cute one was mine). I told him we were going over there. He's a freshman, a very good looking guy, but has never done that before and was resistant to the idea, just like I would have been just a few months ago. I told him him he has no choice and we went over. I used indirect direct and sat in the booth next to the cute one. He was awkward and pulled a chair up (I gave him pointers afterwards). Other than that things went smoothly. However, soon another friend of ours spotted us and came over. He didn't know what was going on and assumed we all knew each other. This threw me off because he's a complete jokester and was being very gregarious. Having him interrupt us gave me an opportunity to practice staying cool when someone was teasing me. I think I did a good job. Ate my food as fast as I could so we could end the interaction before it was too late, and as we all walked out I pulled back and called my girl over to ask her out. Got a "yes," but no concrete plans. She said she never knows her schedule and I should text her the day of. Seemed interested, but by now I know better than to count on her.

When I came back over to my friend he was standing next to a table in which was sitting a guy from one of my classes. This class has multiple attractive girls (that's rare here). The guy saw me getting this girl's number, and commented "That kid's got moves. The first day of class he saw a girl, sat next to her, and got her number." That's true, but I wasn't aware that the whole class overheard - he doesn't sit near me. I was planning to ask out 3 other girls from that class. Will this hurt my chances? In fact, I've already asked out one of them and she said yes, but then said she was really busy that week when I texted her to schedule. Was this the reason? I'll try again after I get a chance to have another good conversation with her.

Last approach, kind of: I was sitting in the union waiting for the bus back to my place and right as I was leaving to prowl a different floor a girl asked if she could use my table. I already knew this girl, but hadn't talked to her in 2 years. We had worked on a project then, and she looks pretty good, but I never really liked her and didn't make a move. I probably wouldn't have known how even if I wanted to. But since she was here I decided to stay for a bit more and talk. It was nice, so I asked her what she was doing Saturday. She said she didn't know, so I invited her to hang out with me. She said maybe, text her on Saturday. Maybe...

So that makes 7 approaches for the day, with 3 numbers, 1 of which I'm very confident about.

As a side note, one thing I've noticed is that I now know a lot of girls. I can sit in the union or the dining hall, and there's always a girl I can chat with, and girls keep walking by and saying hi to me. Not necessarily girls I'm going for, but girls that I've either gone for and failed with in the past, or girls that I'm simply friendly with now because I'm more flirty, a better conversationalist, and make an effort to meet new people. I used to see those types of guys and wonder how they met all these girls. Now I'm one of them, and it feels good.

Finally, I'm a lot smoother and more comfortable than I was before spring break. The trip did me good.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Good day yesterday. I now have 3 dates for the next 4 days.

After a very weak interaction with a girl who wasn't very attractive from up close and who had a boyfriend, I ran into a girl I knew at the Union. I've only talked to her once before, briefly at a party, and was immediately struck by how beautiful she is. Great smile. That was in November, and I had really hoped to get another chance to talk to her. I have seen her around campus since then, but never in a situation where I could talk to her. Not even say "hi." So yesterday I was elated to find her sitting by herself. She remembered me, but not my name, and was warm immediately. Chatted for a while and it went well.
  • When she told me about all the work she had to do I said, "you should probably start working and stop flirting." She smiled and said, "I'm not doing that."
  • At one point she mentioned something we'd talked about at the party:

    me: I remember, and you didn't even remember my name. I'm just a piece of meat to you, aren't I? You want to get in my pants and you don't listen to a word I say.
    her: giving me an amused/shocked look, with her mouth hanging open.
    me: I'm just kidding." Weak, I know - I faltered. Luckily, she saved me by saying,
    her: No you're not.
    me: No, I'm not.

  • I got compliance, too - she showed me her ring, a picture, and read me some of her essay.

When I asked her out she made an effort to come up with a good day. She also made the disclaimer that she's "kinda seeing some guy, but he's not her boyfriend." I replied "Then you're fine." She laughed here and said I was crazy. I think that's the vibe I'm going for. We're getting coffee Wednesday.

Right after I ran into another girl who I'd asked out 3 weeks or so ago. Also beautiful. We had a very good interaction and agreed on a time and date to watch a movie together, but I was surprised she never returned my texts. I talked to her once after, and she said she never received my texts, which was weird because I had the right number in my phone. It was even less believable because I then sent her another text on the spot, and she did get it. I assumed she wasn't interested and didn't try to reschedule the date. It also didn't help that we'd run into each other about once a week, and it would always be a bit awkward, with her being to busy to talk. Yesterday when I came over she seemed legitimately excited to see me, though, so after light conversation:

me: When are we watching that movie?
her: Yeah, yeah, we should do that. I'm free Wednesday.


Of course I'm busy Wednesday ;), but the eagerness was encouraging, and we're doing it Tuesday.

I also finally got a text back this morning, after over 12 hours of waiting, from the girl I met 2 days ago (the one that I wrote was really into me). I was starting to get worried because she took so long to respond, but my initial judgment was accurate. We're getting coffee Sunday. Saturday night I'll also try to see one of the other 2 girls I met Wednesday.

In addition, yesterday night I met one of the most gorgeous girls I'd ever seen. It was at a friend's place - he was having lots of people over, and one of the girls I know, a foreign exchange student from Spain, brought a friend from home who was visiting her. This friend was a dark Spanish girl, and stunning. I only got a brief chance to talk to her at the house before I had to leave for a bit (her accent was so sexy. I could just listen to her speak all day...). I returned just in time to accompany them to a nearby bar. We were 3 guys and 4 girls, all foreigners. On the way there the Spanish girl and I walked together behind everyone else and conversed privately. Things were going great, but when we entered the bar we split up and she started talking to other people. I wasn't sure how to recapture her attention. Soon after, the girls began dancing. The bar was almost empty, so it was just 3 of our girls in the center of the room. And let me tell you, Spanish girls can move. Both my friend and this new girl looked amazing - I was probably staring the whole time. When they returned I called this girl over and told her that she "knows how to dance," and I'm not sure if she misunderstood what I was saying or if I misunderstood what she was trying to say, but we had that awkward moment and then she walked over to someone else and I didn't get a chance to talk to her again. I left soon after. It's a shame that I ran into the 2 of them twice on campus over the past 2 days and said "hi", but didn't stop to to chat because I didn't realize how beautiful this girl was. If I'd gotten a good look at her and maybe I could have gone into yesterday night already knowing her and things would've been different. She left this morning. I'm uncertain what I did wrong or how I should have acted differently to achieve better results. I think I'm in love, though.

Today I approached one girl so far. Extremely cute, sitting by herself. She seemed interested and wanted to talk, but for some reason I had trouble keeping the conversation going. I don't know what happened, but I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound forced. I played it cool, holding eye contact for a bit then looking off to the side, like Chase suggests to prompt her to talk, but it didn't work. Instead of asking me questions she would look at me expectantly as if waiting for me to say something. Are extended periods of silence good or bad? Does it make things awkward for the girl, or does it make me seem masculine and intriguing? It didn't seem to affect her negatively. Eventually I found out she has a boyfriend, and for some reason things became easier after that.

E
 

Tyme2k

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 9, 2013
Messages
386
I like your journal, great detail, nice read.

I love silence, I have been experimenting with it quite a bit. Sometimes I will hold eye contact sometimes I will trail off and slowly come back when the girl engages me. My suggestion is when this happens don't feel like it's awkward cause if you do it will make you act different. Remain calm and unaffected that it's becoming awkward, most of the time she will follow your lead if you stay calm she will. You can take time to come up with something intriguing to engage her better. Most of the time she will say something though.

Play with it and while you do find the amusement in it. Most people cant fathom this idea and when I do it I find it amusing that they are feeling awkward lol.
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Tyme2k said:
Remain calm and unaffected that it's becoming awkward, most of the time she will follow your lead if you stay calm she will.

Thanks Thyme2k, that's what I did. This girl had her laptop open when I approached her, though, and whenever there was an extended silence she would eventually return to the screen. I would have to say something to reengage her. Is that still ok?

Also, I forgot to include something yesterday. Two posts ago I mentioned a girl from class who has a boyfriend and who refused to come over when I motioned her to. Yesterday I ran into her while I was walking with friends and stopped her:

me: Why didn't you want to sit with me the other day?
her, with a smile: Because I don't want to talk to you.
me: Why not?
her: Because I have a boyfriend.
me: I'm not hitting on you anymore. Now we can just be bffs.
she began to open her mouth to say something.
me, stopping her: That's ok, though, I'll see you in class.


Definitely the vibe I'm going for. I interrupted her and ended the conversation because I had to go. Otherwise I would've spent more time with her. I think ending it that way had good effect, though.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Saturday night I went to a fraternity party. It was refreshing - as soon as I walked in all these girls wanted my attention: talking, dancing, grinding on me. Dance parties aren't really my scene, though, and grinding with girls doesn't do it for me, so I didn't stay long. On my way out I invited a girl to come home with me, but she said she had to wake up early the next day. I replied, "who said you could stay the night?" with a smile. Still a no, so that was that.

Another first for me: later that night, around 3am, a friend tells me that some guys are at the door looking for me. It was the boyfriend of the girl I approached Friday (the one with the extended silences), there to tell me to back off. That means I must be doing something right, haha. No trouble, but one thing he said was that the girl was "upset" and "scared." That's very hard for me to believe - she seemed like she was having fun. I do tend to be very forward, though. I'm not sure what to think right now. Maybe he made it up to attack me, maybe she made it up to appease him. It bothered me, though. Definitely not the effect I want to have on girls so I hope it's not true.

My date Sunday cancelled on me when I texted her that day to confirm. She said her group project was due at midnight and was taking longer than expected. I told her it was no problem and that we'll reschedule.

Today I approached 1 girl at the library. The interaction went very smoothly and I got a number. I had a hard time working up the motivation to go up to her, and I've been feeling a decrease in my drive to approach in general. Not sure why, but I think part of it is that there are only so many girls at this school. I've already approached girls who are on the same sports teams and sororities, and I'm scared that they'll start talking to each other. What if I approach a friend of one of the girls I'm supposed to go out with, and they end up finding out? Especially since I usually use direct openers, it'd immediately be obvious to them that I'm hitting on lots of girls. Maybe I should rethink my process.

On second thought, I think I know the real problem: these approaches all seem the same and I'm bored of it. I'm I glad I realized my true hangup because now I know to ignore it. It's a stupid thought and should work itself out as I get closer with some of these girls and take it to the next level. Also, as soon as I approached this girl the emotion went away and I was able to act cooler as a result of the interaction feeling routine.

Feeling a bit nervous for my dates this week, but in a good way. I want to hold on to this feeling because I know that sometime in the not-too-distance future, dates will become routine and I'll become desensitized.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Frustrating week. All 3 girls cancelled on me. 2 with some bs excuse and haven't returned my text trying to reschedule. The one who said she was seeing some other guy cited him as a reason:

her: ...it's getting pretty serious so I think it's probably best if we don't. I'm sorry.
me: Dump him you can do better.
her: No he's a pretty great guy...[bla bla bla]...I think I'm going to keep my love life the way it is for now thanks.
me: Haha OK [her name] don't take me seriously. Hope it works out.
her: Thanks.

At least she had a legitimate reason and bothered to let me know the situation properly. Now I'm back to square 1, with only 1 number I haven't tried yet. WTF?

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Friday night I went to a fraternity party 2 houses down from mine. I approached a few girls I didn't know, but with no success. Every party at my school has way more guys than girls, so not many options and lots of competition. This one was especially bad. There was also a girl there, M, whom I'd been flirting with for a while now, but she was with another guy, C (actually a brother in my fraternity). She was also flirting with everybody, just looking for attention, so I stayed away from her and remained aloof when she engaged me.

After the party we all went back to our house, and at this point there are other girls with us. I'm not interested in any of them, but C has been crushing on one of them, named H, for a long time. She's been stringing him along. So of course C ditches M for H, and my eyes light up. M, after being the center of attention all night, is now alone and probably feeling abandoned. Other brothers must have had the same thought because they were making moves on her, but thanks to this site, once I decided that she was mine it was over. I barely even talked to her. Just called her over when I was standing in the doorway to my room, and when she came I pulled her in. Easy as pie.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Been sick for the last few days. With this lack of girls I find myself getting antsy. Approaching has become a habit.

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Had a big party at my place yesterday. There weren't many moments that night when I wasn't talking to a girl. Had some decent interactions, but no action. Got one girl, whom I've hooked up with before, in my room, but she wouldn't get close to me because "she knows what I'm gonna do." She's French, and also said that I'm "not like all the other American boys. You know how to look at a girl," and that I "could have any of the other girls here. Why are you wasting your time on me?" I replied, "I don't want them," and "I'm not wasting my time." We were in the room for a while, me just being sexy and her resisting, until eventually I forced action by advancing near her to escalate. She objected and walked out of the room when I persisted. Before she left the party we agreed that we'd hang out here sometime when there isn't a party. I really thought she was a sure thing since we'd already hooked up before and since she made an effort to find me at the party.

Got another girl in my room later on, but decided not to make a move because she kind of belongs to my friend. Other than that, a few good interactions. One girl smiled at me as I walked by:

me: Do we know each other?
her: No.
me: Then why did you smile at me like that?
her: You just seemed approachable.
me: Do you smile like that at all the men you see?


Near the end of the night I spotted a very cute girl and started talking to her. It went well, but I thought I needed to hang out with her a bit before inviting her upstairs. I had to leave her for a second, though, and a friend stepped in. Within minutes they were making out. Could've been me if I'd moved faster. I didn't know you could do it that fast. Thinking back, she was just waiting for it.

So what did I learn?
  • Don't waste time on the wrong girls. Should've never talked to my friend's girl. How many other girls could I have spent time with if I hadn't been in my room with her?
  • MOVE FASTER

Also, I need to figure out how to keep girls around after I open them. We have a good time for a few minutes, then their friends move so they leave. How do I get them to ditch their friends?

E
 

determined

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
172
Things are looking up again. Had my best approach ever today with a cute girl at the Union. My friend was watching and said that body language-wise I killed it - she was playing with her hair and her hands, very nervous and excited.

me: How long are you gonna be here for?
her: As long as this [essay] takes
me: And how long is that? When's it due?
her: Tomorrow.
me: I was gonna ask you to come downstairs with me to get coffee...
her: I can't.
me: No, of course not. That would be completely inappropriate. Let's do it some other time, though.


When I related this exchange to my friend he said those last 3 lines were great because I framed it as if I didn't care and I made myself scarce. I wouldn't permit her to spend more time with me. What do you think? Was it good to bring up something I knew she would turn down so I could say that I wouldn't have allowed it anyway? We agreed to have coffee Friday at 2. I knew the interaction went well before my friend told me. First thing I said to him was, "That went SO well. Oh my god, that went so well." I was just so cool the whole time and she was so engaged. It was awesome.

Right after that I spotted a girl who I'd asked out the first day of class. She said yes and answered a text or two, but then her phone broke and she dropped the course before it was fixed. I texted her twice to see if her phone was fixed, but no response so I forgot about her. Today she seemed excited to see me. We conversed for a bit, then I asked if we're still hanging out. She said yes, and she has a new phone. We said next Tuesday.

Earlier today I ran into a girl from class. I'd asked her out the week before spring break, but then she cancelled on me and said she was busy all week. I've been waiting to have a good conversation with her before asking her again. I don't get a chance to talk to her during or after class, that's why it's taken so long. When I asked her today if she was still interested she said yes, then said she was busy all week. I offered this weekend and she said she was busy then, too. Is she legitimately busy or is this a bad sign?

me: You're gonna have to help me out, here. I'm not a very patient person.
her: Don't be patient, then. (WTF is that? Is she telling me she's not interested? Her facial expression was positive.)
me: What should I do, then?
her: I don't know. Don't be patient.


She then proposed this Thursday, but I'm busy. Then I offered Monday and she said ok.

Saw my last girl at the library on computer. I printed something out to the printer near her, and when I collected my paper I opened her. Immediately invited her to come sit with me. She said she had work to do, but I said "You have 5 minutes," and she came. First time that's worked, so I must be getting better. I definitely feel better. She came over skeptically, but amused and flattered. Maybe even excited? I made the mistake of keeping the conversation very light, only teasing her with very little deep diving. I just didn't have enough time to transition before she got up to leave. Asked her out, she said she has a boyfriend. I gave her shit about not telling me before, and she said she's not sure if she has a boyfriend, then that they actually just broke up. Pushed her for a date, so she pulled out her calendar to show me how busy she was and then offered her number. As I left I said, "see you soon." She said, "Maybe." I replied, "Probably?" I figured she was a "no," but she actually responded to my icebreaker text.

me: Hey ____, glad I met you. Save my number. -E
her: Last name.
She wouldn't give me her last name when I got her number. She only gave me an initial when I persisted.
me: You wouldn't give me yours why should I give you mine? I'm sure you can figure it out there can't me that many E's on fb ;).
her: OK [my full name]
me: No that's not me. (it was)
her: I'm not stupid lol. (She then listed my area code and hometown.)


That text conversation was great, right? She's the one chasing me. I hope I got her to look through some of my pictures because I'm not wearing a shirt haha.

Also, while she was giving me her number:

her: Do you always ask people to sit with you?
me: Only when they're really beautiful.


Unless they flake I should have dates Friday, Monday, and Tuesday. Crossing my fingers.

E
 
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