Passion Lab

fog

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this woman from tinder needs to get laid lol

fog: hi future lover
girl: herrrooo
girl: whats up
fog: i see trouble in your eyes
girl: ;(
girl: wanna hang or what?
girl: lol
fog: my place or yours
girl: mine
girl: i should go to the lcboooo
girl: but im laaazy
fog: its a tempting offer
girl: but?
**radio silence from me**
girl: lol ok

*next day*

fog: lets reschedule for asap. ate too many edibles and crashed oops
girl: ahahaha ok
girl : :) :) :) :) :)
 

fog

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looks like its been over a year now since i took any real action with women..and its been a couple months since i stopped dedicating any
mental effort to improving my base attraction...

which is totally fine with me. cuz im putting in no effort, but the attraction from girls in terms of quality and quantity towards me is the highest its ever been - which will make a very easy springboard for me when i turn the heat down on the area of my life im focusing on right now, which is....

....my career in marketing. which im obsessed with, putting in 12 hour days 7 days a week for what feels like months on end...because my goal is mastery and i have a burning desire to get there as fast as possible. currently im feeling pretty confident in my abilities (marketing dominance) to grow businesses and the nuances i understand are quite exciting.

I've also had some coaching with my soft skills and learned new approaches to communication, which has completely upped the way i approach interactions with guys or girls of different status levels in different environments, as well as overall social awareness.

To sum it up, I'm experiencing very high growth in my career right now while I've put women on the backburner, but the growth from my career is positively impacting how women react to me. definitely curious to continue to observe this effect
 
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fog

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"hi future lover" is my favorite online opener right now because it sets the proper frame from the start, while still being ambiguous.

i used to use "what are you looking for on here"
 

fog

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im also using "love u" to soften up conversations.

ive been smoking my favorite indica lately and its making me realize some awesome stuff. for example, when i smoke a lot of indica, i become:

1. less aware of subcommunications
2. more likely to roll with others frames rather than set frames
3. i dont bring people into my reality as much

recently, observing this behavior made me realize a need for strong "plotlines" between interactions. a running plotline is like an inside joke that connects interactions and makes them one long running event rather than a seperate event. but this can be more than an inside joke. it could be a topic, or a preferred shared reality between you and the other person. its important to get into this shared reality quickly when starting a new interaction with someone.

for example, i was high at work and in a meeting with a female coworker who im making more of an effort to connect with lately. while she is socially aware, she is passive in that she rolls with frames and other peoples realities. because i was in an indica mindset, i did not provide a solid foundation for her to come into my reality and frames - leading to a really undefined conversation
 

fog

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fog: a personality is my biggest weakness. i am a sucker for women with personalities
girl: im legit crazy im too much to handle lol
girl: im like the guy off the movie switch. who you looking for today? *laughing face*
fog: uh oh princess trouble i will go throw myself off a bridge now lol
girl: i feel insulted lol
fog: tell me, what are the perks that come with being around a crazy girl who is too much to handle? :)
girl: i could be wrong, maybe im not too much to handle. maybe ive let others mould my opinion of who i am
girl: tell you what, you take the time to meet me and you can let yourself decided what the perks are. thats unless youre chicken
*later*
girl: bok bok
*later*
girl: im going to bed. goodnight fog, i hope you enjoyed your night. sleep tight :)
*next day*
fog: sure ill give you 30 minutes :)
girl" youll give me 30 minutes lol
girl: how about i give you 30 minutes?

cc: @DarkKnight
 
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fog

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yuck. i am struggling with over-investment in the girl above. thoughts of her intrude into my head all the time and i swat them away like flies! i will see her thursday or sooner

today, i had enough of the over-investment. i wanted the old fog back. i immediately scheduled dates with 2 other women

no more marketing job for me. i got laid off and am now starting my own business.
 

fog

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i mentioned i was struggling with over investment in the girl above. after our conversation 2 posts above, i ran into attainability issues with her due to a couple of reasons. the above qualification i shared above did not go as planned and she did not end up being fully qualified. after that, i was ignoring her longer than usual and pumping out DHV posts on facebook - which she saw. i know she was experiencing doubt about whether i actually liked her or not, causing her to be scared to invest. this was evident by her somewhat skeptical, unemotional reply ("really") to me telling her i wanted to see her after the botched qualy. i ended up choosing to strongly (perhaps too overly strong?) qualify her as the next step since i had not done so in previous convos - i also gave her a little bit of physical validation by liking her picture on fb right after i qualified her. it smoothed things out between us and made her feel comfortable investing again

fog: sure ill give you 30 minutes :)
girl: youll give me 30 minutes lol
girl: how about i give you 30 minutes?
next day
fog: i would love to see you on thursday girl name bo birl tame :)
girl: really
fog: of course girl name! i know we had a couple of rough days...but you're gentle, kind and caring...ambitious and determined...all around everything im looking for in an amazing woman and human being :) my only complaint is that thursday is forever away and i simply cannot wait!
girl: well is there a better day that works for you?
later
girl: thursday it is
later
girl: can we go for a walk?
next day
girl: good morning you

i see she also messaged me on facebook immediately after this as well.

to note, none of this really makes logical sense to me...looking at this, it confuses me. it makes emotional sense though....
 
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fog

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i messed up

the girl i have been speaking of is closing off and its too much investment for me so i am moving on.

girl: this isn't working
girl: fog!
fog: hey now, everything is ok! tell me, how does your favorite memory of your children make you feel? warm? perhaps uplifted?
fog: i live in AREA XXX
girl: i dont know what my favorite memory is. unfortunately my brain blocks out most of my memory for whatever reason
girl: i mean the day each one of them was born was probably the best two days of my life
fog: interesting that you mention that about your brain...made me think. i have this sense that...you have been perceived as overly cray cray by other people. while that is awful, i feel...so non judgemental of u and ur behavior...in the way that even if you are crazy, it is okay to be crazy around me. :) do you know what i mean?
girl: i do know what you mean and yes. my babies father always called me crazy and delusional due to my mental problems so it kinda stuck on me. and it eventually worked its way under my skin and yes i truly believed those words.
next day
fog: want to see you today! whats your schedule?
girl: at home

her "this isnt working" comment, really got me thinking about why shes resisting and not just the fact that she is resisting. back in 2018.. i wrote about how women resist when they feel they are not in control...an insightful learning for me at the time, but didnt think much more of it....

....until, i found the advanced version of that today: codys masterpiece, seen here

cody explains that when girls need to take back control, it is good to step back and ask some light questions/use some humor to help them accomplish that. he also suggests girls need to feel justified (important - more on that in a sec)

so, for the next text, i decided to step back and take the pressure off.

i thought about asking, "what is your favorite color", but then i also had in mind tonys recommendations about being more emotional than logical. i ended up squishing these two tactics together. what came out was me asking a question about her favorite memory regarding her children:

fog: hey now, everything is ok! tell me, how does your favorite memory of your children make you feel? warm? perhaps uplifted?

imo, too heavy of a question.. a mistake? perhaps. afterwards i thought it could serve as a good transition from pressure (lots of flirting), to some pressure (heavy question), to pressureless (light question - what is your favorite color?)

but after i sent the heavy question to her, i received some interesting information regarding her favorite memory:

girl: i dont know what my favorite memory is. unfortunately my brain blocks out most of my memory for whatever reason
girl: i mean the day each one of them was born was probably the best two days of my life

1. she stated she is repressed (after an earlier statement that she is crazy!!)
2. the best days of her life was when her kids were born (perfect point to reference when i start building connection with her using the timeline)

her being crazy seems to be a theme from her. here is where i get confused. justification is important, cody says...but on top of that, this girl hadn't qualified herself to me yet. isnt that a form of justification?

i realized, maybe she has been trying to justify herself to me about her crazyness.... but it hasnt been acknowlegded yet.

so i decided to acknowledge it using a bacchus-inspired sentence structure about her craziness. she says she truly believes she is crazy.

fog: interesting that you mention that about your brain...made me think. i have this sense that...you have been perceived as overly cray cray by other people. while that is awful, i feel...so non judgemental of u and ur behavior...in the way that even if you are crazy, it is okay to be crazy around me. :) do you know what i mean?
girl: i do know what you mean and yes. my babies father always called me crazy and delusional due to my mental problems so it kinda stuck on me. and it eventually worked its way under my skin and yes i truly believed those words.

but then i messaged her today and she is getting cold...

fog: want to see you today! whats your schedule?
girl: at home
 

fog

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random tinder girl from out of town

to help with my pain over the girl above i am now drowning myself in other women. here is a conversation with a girl from out of town who i am not planning to see - just wanted to practice on.

fog: hi future lover
random tinder girl: well hello thereeee
fog: i am seeing urgent trouble in your eyes
random tinder girl: oh ya? what kind of trouble?
fog: u might be young for me but i cant be sure yet.
random tinder girl: i am definitely not too young for you trust
fog: dont be certain about that unless you have experience with older men :p
random tinder girl: i do hahhahaha
random tinder girl: my ex was 10 years older than me when i was 17
random tinder girl: try me
fog: ok...ill be the judge of that over a drink
random tinder girl: haha reasonable. sounds good to meee
fog: ill give you 30 minutes. phone number?
random tinder girl: xxx-xxx-xxxx & 30 mins???? my lunch break is almost over nooo

i start texting her

fog: hi its fog from the thing
random tinder girl: fog??? sorry idk a fog
fog: too late - you do now
random tinder girl: ok now i do
fog: u might have one of my weaknesses but i cant be sure yet
random tinder girl: which is?
fog: my biggest weakness is a personality
random tinder girl: well im glad i have one of those
fog: tell me, what are the perks that come with being around a girl who has a personality?
random tinder girl: well i can definitely make you laugh!! im a very outgoing and spunky person so thats always dope
fog: being an outgoing, spunky person is totally underrated. its not too often i meet someone who has just the right amount of that! :)
random tinder girl: yeah its really hard to find someone that will also match that energy or even want to be around it! im not a spazz or anything, i like to have my cozy times at home but people are difficult nowadays
random tinder girl: my lunchbreak is over so my replies will be slower until im off at 5! :)
 

fog

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ok, ok, it is time to give the girl i have been talking about most recently a name in my journal: violet. i avoided doing it because it signified investment on my part, and i was already overinvested. but i am ok with it now - my investment levels have gone down.

thursday had rolled around, which was the day we had agreed to hang. when i reached out, she was totally closed off and had gone from responding quickly to very slowly:

fog: want to see you today! whats your schedule?
violet: at home.


it had been identified by skills that i had been making mistakes. being analytical with her, being slow to respond, overall just failing to understand her. her response was to be expected. so, i addressed it up front:

fog: ok... i need to be genuine with you violet. i know you are unhappy with my unresponsiveness. and that you have been not taking it so well. as i mentioned before, you are an incredibly inspiring person that i want to keep around... and you definitely dont deserve this behavior from me. lately my own therapy has me so intensely preoccupied with seeing doctors and healing from my own troubles that..it has caused me to not pay enough attention to you, causing more harm that good between us in the process. while it was not in my intent for this to happen... i feel as though things can change in an instant...by recognizing the opportunity for growth here..


a couple days go by. certainly she had read it, but it was taking time and energy for her brain to adjust and align with this frame....then, she texts me this:

violet: when does this opportunity take place?


LOL
 
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fog

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shaking off some rust before i go to the big city to compete. heres some convos from the last week:

20 year old blonde

i got tripped up over the girl in the conversation directly below. i was texting in real time (not relying on analysis before replying) and she is hotter than im used to. i was in a calm state of mind, but when we started talking, i got excited and it caused my thinking to go haywire. she was qualifying heavily to me, but in the moment i did not realize it cuz she was not giving me the exact answers i expected. tunnel vision.

when i transitioned to making plans, i was too abrupt and overly demanding, "we're gonna get together this weekend." she commented on my confidence rather than agreeing to plans,, and also ignored my request for her schedule. which made me think i had been doing something wrong. i should have kept pushing, but instead, i transitioned into being extra challenging and got her over to text where i built more intrigue - an unnecessary step. she then brought up an earlier conversation thread. at this point, i decided to not message her back for 24 hours. i had to take a step away to manage my emotions better. with any other girl, the expected outcome from this type of conversation would be a same day lay.

blond: hi there!
fog: hi trouble! i spy some some big brown eyes
blond: lol. im not trouble yet!
fog: youre already trouble...you are young
blond: i guess i am
blond: ill admit i had to google "pygophile" but let me know what you think
blond: *sends me a picture of her showing off her butt*
fog: oh nice. ill be the judge of that in person
blond: lol. so how are you?
fog: good...you usually talk to older guys?
blond: not specifically! but your profile made me smile lol
blond: am i too young for you to talk to?
fog: you might be...but i cant be sure yet
blond: well i dont want to make you uncomfortable if i am!
fog: no no, age is just a number. its really about maturity, dont you agree? plus u seem high spirits
blond: yes for sure! and i like to think im pretty positive and high spirit :)
fog: thats exactly what im looking for here...even though my ex was the same
fog: schedule?
blond: well luckily you found me!
fog: we're gonna get together this weekend
blond: lol you say that with confidence
fog: ill give you 30 minutes and we'll see whos the lucky one
blond: what do you mean
fog: :p
blond: tell meeee
fog: text me :) ill tell you XXX-XXX-XXXX

*she texts me*

blond: hiii :)
fog: any kids or felonies i should know about
blond: lol no. you?
fog:: dont believe it not one bit
blond: lol you think i have a felony or kid!?
fog: your slight smile tells me some things..
fog: south american drug lord?
blond: im beginning to think maybe youre hiding some scandalous situations from me lol
fog: my youth was super reckless..it changed as one major event went down
blond: what happened?
fog: climbed the roof of the elementary school i taught at and got stuck
blond: and that changed things for you?
blond: you also didnt tell me what you mean by your last message on bumble

18 year old cancer patient

this girl lives out of town and was good practice material. she qualified heavily and detailed her entire sexual history to me. i made a couple mistakes on this one: setting frames outside the general frame of the convo, being incongruent etc. however these mistakes did not have too much negative effect. after i set some soft sexual frames, she moved things forward with me quickly. immediately after setting the soft frames, she told me she had a lot on her mind and wished to explain it all over a phone call. the purpose of this behavior of hers was to build a quick connection with me to justify sleeping with me.

heres a snippet:

steth: *waves*
fog: hi trouble
steth: trouble already damn ok i could say the same about you. howre you ?
fog: i can see it in your eyes !
steth: oh is that so ?
fog: yes... as in you might be too young for me but i can be sure yet
steth: ive been with a guy your age before *monkey face*
fog: so steth ur certain u have enough experience with older men?
steth: i dont have much experience at all
steth: what are you looking for?
steth: but all of my experience has been with guys older than me...do i need to go into details??
fog: i have this sense that...you may be exactly what im looking for. while you are young, i feel you may have enough experience...perhaps more than you think...but i wont know until you go into detail
steth: lol ive had sex with two guys but it wasnt enjoyable. um. ive done foreplay stuff with 3 guys but i didnt have sex with them. ive done some bondage. um sex in a field. blowjob in the woods. idk ahha. i feel really on the spot
steth: what are you looking for?

grandma thora

grandma thora is 48 years old and is trying to lock me down. She lives about an hour and a half away. should i actively pursue this, i will get her to drive to me.

fog: hi trouble
grandma thora: lol...heyuuu
fog: i spy my future lover
grandma thora: you are cute
grandma thora: how are you today
fog: good... i noticed ur eyes remind me of my ex...how are u?
grandma thora: is this good or bad...im doing fine
fog: not sure yet...we will find out as we keep talking
grandma thora: im quite sweet
fog: really!
grandma thora: of course
grandma thora: when we doing something
 
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fog

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reviving violet

violet drifted away for a week after i reset the frame and disqualified myself as boyfriend material. then i started being small talky. it led into a supershort phone convo about colors....in which i got her engaged, and then chose to end it on a high note.

this happened thanks to chases super fire technique he shared on jackal2020s post in the general forum. however, i read over the post afterwards and realized i forgot to make plans with her. whatever. at least i had gotten some field experience reviving dead leads.....

...but low and behold she texts me a few hours later. i am out for a walk by myself, high as shit. i start being my weird self with her. take a look how it starts going down:

violet: green hby
*i call her, we talk for 30 seconds*
2 hours later, during my walk:

violet: hby
fog: my senses mix together so its complicated like ur voice was green earlier
violet: what do you mean
fog: like seeing sounds hearing colors..its called synesthesia have you heard of it
violet: no i have not
fog: favorite color is purple. so calming
violet: what shade
violet: whyd you wanna know my favorite color?

just as we start diving into conversation, she starts probing me for my intentions. i choose to root the conversation, but neglect to say the why behind the rooting. its just not enough of a hook for her, so i also inject some tension into the conversation which opens up a potential conversational thread.
fog: same reason i asked how youre doing. i feel curious to learn more about you.
fog: illl get back to you on the shade but its more dark than light.
she doesnt reply for 10 minutes. theres something wrong. i call her.
*phone rings, she picks up*
violet: *amused vocal tones*
fog: got the shade
violet: what is it?
fog: violet
violet: *laughs* thats nice.
*i hang up*
immediately, she texts me and its a little bit of an ioi. i follow up with a probing question.
violet: youre weird
violet: i like it
fog: i know. feeling adventurous tonight?

silence from her. i should have known better. this morning, she replies:

violet: i fell asleep im sorry
violet: whats up today

i make sure to give her notice that i wont be in touch with her as often as she likes today. ignoring her without warning got me in trouble last time, so i avoid doing that and let her know whats really going on:

fog: hi good morning
fog: not in jail and spending a couple hours with my family rn. give u a call in a bit :)
violet: thats good. wouldnt want you to be in jail. hope you enjoy your family time talk soon.

looks l am back in with her.
 
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fog

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violet comes over

violet just came over to my parents place for 30 seconds. i was quite unprepared. heres how it started.

violet: i fell asleep im sorry
violet: whats up today
fog: hi good morning
fog: not in jail and spending a couple hours with my family rn. give u a call in a bit :)
violet: thats good. wouldnt want you to be in jail. hope you enjoy your family time talk soon.
later
fog: storytime
violet: lets go

i call her. she is nearby and quite testy, she agrees to meet me outside of my parents place. i text her my address, put on my boots, and walk out the door. she is already in my driveway. i walk up to her and the air is charged with sexual tension and playfulness. here is what i recall:

fog: what is this? *pointing to the huge van she arrived in*
violet: my dads truck.
fog: you dont drive that.
violet: yes i do! i was working all day

we talk about it. its high intensity. im positioning myself facing her..and moving closer like im gonna kiss her... but when i get closer, she positions herself a little bit away from me. regardless, im squeezing her arm a few times and i feel something hard. i roll up her sleeve and i ask her about it

fog: what is this?
violet: my ex boyfriend broke my arm.
violet: i like your jacket
*brief silence, i am looking away from her*
fog: do you know katie (name of my ex)?
violet: no whos that?
fog: cmon you dont know katie?
violet: no
fog: ya right...katie smith?
violet: oh ya i know her
fog: i dated her when i was 17. you look like her.
violet: i look like violet.
fog: you look like her.
violet: if you say that again i will smack you
fog: you look like her.
* i turn my face to the side, she smacks me.*
fog: i see freckles. (i am a little less confident here, she is more aggressive)
violet: theyre all over my face but nowhere else
fog: not on your arms or anything huh
violet: no
fog: alright... catch you later

i walk away inside. she drives away.
 
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fog

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frame game with tinder bookworm

for this one i was more subtle with age disqualification, and didnt reveal any sexual frames too early, which is the complete opposite of what i usually do online.

this led to her hinting at the sexual frame first, "my minds always in the gutter so thats where i feel like it is going".

i should have replied with setting a wide frame after she said this. ie "im open to anything.", but instead used, "i like women that put their real selves out there", in an attempt to tease out her frame more. this was unnecessary and made the conversation stall out. i keep using this line when i dont know what to do. gotta remove it.

since i tend to ignore girls alot, ive been trying out providing plausible deniability for me ignoring them, rather than just picking up the convo from where it left off. after i ignored her for a few hours, i told her i had a nap - she verbalized that she thought i was avoiding her.

heres the conversation:

fog: hi trouble
bookworm: hey there
bookworm: how are you
fog: youre 27?
bookworm: yes why? lol
bookworm: i know i look like a teenager if thats why youre asking
bookworm: and some of my pictures are pretty old. theres only a handful of recent ones
fog: huh. youre right. you look young and inexperienced.
bookworm: inexperienced how
fog: teenagers are really inexperienced
bookworm: yeah they are but i can assure you im experienced
fog: experienced how?
bookworm: i honestly have no idea where this conversation is heading
bookworm: my minds always in the gutter so thats where i feel like it is but i could be wrong
fog: i like women that put their real selves out there. then i will like the real you and not a fake you. so, you can be honest about your experience :)
bookworm: ive got quite a bit of experience lol practice makes perfect right?
fog: is what what youre looking for here, more practice?
bookworm: possibly
bookworm: is that what youre looking for
fog: possibly
fog: feeling adventurous today?
bookworm: depends. what do you have in mind?
fog: join me for a drink on my patio
bookworm: where do you live cuz i dont drive and the buses arent running today

more logistical talk happens and we agree to meet at her place instead. then some testing starts and i dont handle it so well due to the frame stallout and then veer off into qualifying her, also unnecessary...

bookworm: do you usually invite someone over on the first day?
fog: as long as theres a connection and no expectations
bookworm: no expectations for what?
fog: no expectations to do anything...just to see where it goes
bookworm: gotcha. you just never know what the person is looking for
fog: we agreed we are both looking for practice
fog: but, no expectations to practice
bookworm: well i think we both said possibly
fog: and besides, no sex before marriage
bookworm: haha i think its a little late for that for me
fog: you did assure me you were experienced :p youre not a serial killer either?
bookworm: no ive only murdered 2 people and you need to kill at least 3 to be considered a serial killer
fog: lmfao. not too often i meet someone who makes me laugh like you
fog: the crackhead central comment got me cackling cuz its true (referring to an earlier statement of hers during logistical convo)
bookworm: yeah i hate living here lol worst part is having to walk my dog late at night after work.

we've been texting quickly but i start pulling away here to get more investment. she double texts:

bookworm: wasn't my first choice but i was having issues with my neighbor at my other place so i moved and took the first place i found
fog: text me XXX-XXX-XXXX

i get her to text me and then fall asleep for a few hours. when we get to talking again, shes looking for my frame. this time i set my frame and it starts leading towards more sexual talk

fog: sorry for disappearing lol i just had the most amazing nap of the last 7 days
bookworm: no worries lol it happens
bookworm: low key thought you were avoiding me right after giving me your number
fog: no way! although i gotta let you know theres a chance i might not be able to make it down to see you tonight
bookworm: thats okay. im not gonna lie i havent gotten out of bed today except to walk my dog. and shower andd eat but otherwise been glued to it all day
*later*
bookworm: out of curiosity what exactly are you looking for on tinder. just a hookup or?
fog: im open to anything
bookworm: alright just wanna make sure we're on the same page. im super busy and dont have a lot of free time
fog: we're on the same page. although i am not looking for sex - i am looking for really good sex.
bookworm: well i dont think ill disappoint you ;)
bookworm: as long as im not either
fog: lol! i guess we will have to wait and see wont we? ;P
bookworm: definitely ;)
bookworm: you probably would not believe how many times a girl can be disappointed in bed. you probably have an idea but its pretty sad lol
bookworm: not all guys are the same just saying
 
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Skills

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South Florida
frame game with tinder bookworm

for this one i was more subtle with age disqualification, and didnt reveal any sexual frames too early, which is the complete opposite of what i usually do online.

this led to her hinting at the sexual frame first, "my minds always in the gutter so thats where i feel like it is going".

i should have replied with setting a wide frame after she said this. ie "im open to anything.", but instead used, "i like women that put their real selves out there", in an attempt to tease out her frame more. this was unnecessary and made the conversation stall out. i keep using this line when i dont know what to do. gotta remove it.

since i tend to ignore girls alot, ive been trying out providing plausible deniability for me ignoring them, rather than just picking up the convo from where it left off. after i ignored her for a few hours, i told her i had a nap - she verbalized that she thought i was avoiding her.

heres the conversation:



more logistical talk happens and we agree to meet at her place instead. then some testing starts and i dont handle it so well due to the frame stallout and then veer off into qualifying her, also unnecessary...



we've been texting quickly but i start pulling away here to get more investment. she double texts:



i get her to text me and then fall asleep for a few hours. when we get to talking again, shes looking for my frame. this time i set my frame and it starts leading towards more sexual talk

Fog, there is no clear structure on the process you are using for online, is very disorganized with no clear objectives and you are shooting yourself in the foot causing asd etc... for no reason, you have that girl all over the place.. let me give you and example of a structure that has worked for me constantly:

open: goal is to get a response just like

Ex. hey future lover! ----> she responded = good that is what we want.

Bookwarm: how are you?

fog with playful bait: not good

Bookwarm: oh no why?

Fog: cause i still don't know anything there is to know about bookwarm ---> just a little flirty banter fucking around, now she knows you are not just robot before you ask qualifying questions... (this is just a sample, you do whatever is natural to you)

^ now the key is to get her to invest and qualify so you cont. with... Ready for your test! how happy are you in your life from 1-10? 10 being best?

bookwarm: if she says 10 Fog: that is impossible since you have not met me yet

if she answers with anything less than 10: fog:that is cause you have not met me yet, once you meet me, there is no doubt in my life your life will go to 10

^ also you have to have prepare a cool dhv response if she ask you something back for example from pob:
I'm 8,5 right now, but that's because I expect great things from myself! I cannot feel happy where I am, so I keep pushing things, specially on my professional life, so I can become a 9 at least and stay like that forever! But that half point is soo hard to come by, that's why I'm working my butt off and trying to improve every day.

now you want her to answer another question, but say LAST QUESTION, (so she knows you won't bombard her with question which is week)....

fog: last, what are your 2 best qualities that have nothing to do with your appearance?

again also be ready for a cool dhv response if she ask you, for example i say: sense of humor and relationship/people skills.

then right away you close (get her out of the app).... bookwarm i think you are SAFE and someone worth getting to know, i am barely here please text me at 325u3495, if i do not respond to you right away is not cause i am not interested in you or playing too cool for school but because i may be busy with clients...... Please say this is bookwarm from tinder so i know who you are....


^ this is a structure, after she texts you off the app.... Then you can game her, based on what she gives you, but sexualizing has to be subtle and you need to constantly ping for reactions to sexualize, that way you do not trigger the asd (you trigger asd a lot in your text which is why she is now shit testing is really asd)

This is another structure by pob:


1) Mmmmm, someone here is gonna be trouble (opener)

Any answer

2) Ohhhh, stop being sooo charming/cute!!!
This way we're gonna fall in love too fast....not fair!

Any answer (usually they'll ask where you live...if they do, proceed to route 2B...if not go straight to 3)

2B) Where do I live? Mmmm, I live in your heart, of course!
Go ahead, check inside there and you're gonna find me
Just kidding, I live in X.
How about you?

Any answer

2Ca) Oh, that's too far (if she's far)
2Cb) I like we're close (If she's close)

3) But tell me something...what brought you here to the app?
Did you have any good experiences so far?

Any answer (she'll probably ask you the same)

4Aa) Oh, thats great! (if she already met someone cool in the past) or
4Ab) Oh, I'm sorry to hear that
But I'm sure someone cool will come your way, like maybe a tall dark haired sexy muscular man (describe yourself here)
4B) So, I came here looking for the same thing as everybody else...to meet new people that are single as myself.
Of couse I'm hoping to find someone special, won't be sad at all if that happens! (you answered 95% of their shit tests with 2 simple sentences)

5) You look like a very positive woman...seems like you have an awesome energy!
I really dig people like that, who can enjoy great things and share a good laugh!
Like, on a 1 to 10 scale, how happy are you with your life now? (credits BD)

Any answer (she'll probably ask you the same)

6) (answer her question in an awesome way....you should NOT answer with less than an 8)

My answer would be:
I'm 8,5 right now, but that's because I expect great things from myself! I cannot feel happy where I am, so I keep pushing things, specially on my professional life, so I can become a 9 at least and stay like that forever! But that half point is soo hard to come by, that's why I'm working my butt off and trying to improve every day.

So, gotta ask you XXX (insert her name)...what traits make you an awesome person?
Like something that you have and everybody compliments and takes notice.

when she gives you the answer, she'll probably get back and ask you the same....so you gotta have something ready...I usually say:

7) Oh, it's soooo cool that you have X and Y (use what she told you about her main characteristics as a reply). Really nice!
Mmm, about me....I'm very honest and driven...like, I pride myself on my sense of justice...when I really want something, I just go after it and never look back till I get it!
About my personality, you could say I'm 87% work, family and friends and 13% muscular bad boy (think about you, this part must be congruent with who you are)

Any answer
(right now she'll probably give you her number or be left speechless that you are better than 99% of the online chodes, because you can keep a conversation going without asking her boring stuff or sending her nudes LOL)

If she gives you her number, add her and proceed with the conversation using lines from 8 on any IM (whatasapp, IG, facebook, whatever).
If not, proceed straight to 8

When you add her or she adds you, say this:
7B) Welcome, nice to have you here!
It's sure better than the other app, (proceed to 8)

8) Wow XXX (insert her name), gotta say, I can really feel this great energy between us...so strange because we've never been together!
Anyway, you seem like an interesting woman...I think we could meet sometime.
Simple stuff, on a nice cozy place, so we can seat, drink something and continue this cool conversation.
How is your schedule this week?
BTW, I'm usually free X and X day

(proceed with logistics...if you didn't ask where she lives, now is the time)

Boom, case closed, you gotta a new date on your calendar





l
 

fog

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hi skills

traditionally i have found repeatable success with younger women on tinder x bumble x hinge by using a mix of age disqualification and swinggcat-type qualification.

outside of that structure, demographic and platforms, i find myself entering a grey area where results are subpar/not guaranteed (like the interaction you highlighted).

so yes, i agree. plenty of room for improvement here.

unsurprisingly, i find my agility with women increasing after beginning to implement what you shared.

in particular, the "rate your life/it will go to 10 after meeting me" combo is really helping me on facebook right now.

lots more field testing to be done here, ill let you know how it goes
 

fog

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orbiters + new lessons

i have built up a small cloud of orbiters. steth, grandma thora, and 2 other chicks are bugging me. it is strangely validating.

on the other hand, while im working on more leads, i have a couple of lays lined up for whenever. i got violet used to my slower replies, and i engineered our second meetup to take the form of an arm wrestle.

then theres this other girl - Crafty, mother of 1, 24 years old - and i am 50/50 on deciding to bang her. she has moderate value in terms of appearance to me. i had made some plans to go to a crafting store soon with her over facebook. we exchanged numbers, told her id be in touch then i dropped off for a bit. she messaged me periodically a couple times ("how are you doing" x 2) but i ignored it. one day i threw out a preemptive age disqualifier through text. she ignored it. yawn. i did not feel engaged by any of this. recently i was checking her out on social and she was subcommunicating horniness - and in general, trolling for attention. it repulsed me. just to reaffirm what she was subcommunicating, i re-closed her on fb using one of skills' routines and she agreed to meet me at my place. i flaked on her, then told her we would reschedule. the night i flaked she posted on social media she was like "i dont feel at home anymore in this world", clearly in response to my ignoration of her. following that, shes posting things like "the baby fever is real" and "*finishes sucking a dick **crushes it against my forehead like a beer can". it appears her horniness is intensifying. anyways, all of this has been too easy and her social behavior is icky to me so i am finding it hard to close the deal - i tell myself it will only go down if i can flip it around to getting myself over to her place.

steth had drifted off but rematched me on tinder cuz she was horny and we got to talking. i strung her along for a bit, purposely caused a couple fights to keep things interesting for me. i sapped her for some lessons...for example, when i asked her to root, she said she was curious about me. thats my main root preceding qualification when im talking to girls, so i will use more clever roots going forward. reading Bacchus' sexual fantasies, narratives, and female psychology post gave me ideas for better roots. as i fit them in, i am teetering on the edge of a stronger, more impactful qualification phase. lots more thinking and practice to be completed here.

anyways, steth has huffed off in a storm of drama cuz i did not take care of her emotions. probably for the best. i should be more considerate and not play girls who i have no intent to meet. consider the impact of this on her:

steth: we fight alot
fog: you perceive it as fighting
steth: yes
steth: but how do you perceive it
fog: once you get a little bit more experience youll realize its just flirting
steth: tf
fog: you flirt like a 12 year old its cute lol
steth: ill never be what you want i guess
fog: youre almost there :)

grandma thora deleted me off tinder after our last exchange cuz i didnt get back to her immediately after she went on a limb and asked me when we were getting together. but then we rematched and she was relieved about the second chance. shes out of town and im not sure i have real intentions to meet her unless she drives to me. i am thinking i will practice elicitation on her, but then again i must be considerate of her emotions. i am guessing my tinder profile is very polarizing, causing girls in autorejection to reconsider my value.
 
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fog

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I am building the framework for smooth conversational transitions between real and digital mediums.

framework pieces are below and highlight my thinking and experience in regards to holding attention through text when transitioning specifically from 1) long phone calls to text and 2) text to short phone calls. Testing in-person to text transitions is also on the horizon as i rebuild my daytime approach performance.

1.0 LONG PHONE CALL->TEXT TRANSITION

scenario:
long calls (around 40ish minutes) with girls. when i approach hanging up, they don't want to get off the phone. in old times i would let her go, with no plan in all mind for follow up. the issue with this is that A) a purple haired kale not wanting to get off the phone means shes emotionally impacted, and B) there is no transitionary communication event for tension to flow from the call (more presence) into text. (less presence). both of these issues present an opportunity to make a bigger impact in long calls->text transitions. Here is the solution:

1) she's emotionally impacted, so spike her emotions upwards a bit more using a mix of the following: emotional cementing, elicitation, memory recall and gratitude. The behavior to exhibit in this situation: recall the emotions with her from a high point in the phone call and reflecting on what went on. Then...

2) transfer the spiked emotions from phone call to text. Ask her to text you an unresolved high point from the phone call - while youre still on the phone with her. She will text you her answer and then you start to wrap up the phone conversation. Her answer will carry the semi conscious tension into her brain when she gets off the phone. follow up immediately or the next day and continue the thread and she will reply quicklyyto resolve that tension.

2.0 TEXT->SHORT PHONE CALL TRANSITION

This is one of the more powerful tactics I am working on. i look at it from the viewpoint of 3 scenarios in which which you are texting a pluto pixie from your phone number

scenario 1: you are hooking her in with your texting and you notice she is coming close to replying nearly instantly. this means you have her full attention and youre approaching a high point in the medium. to escalate the high point, call her immediately and spike her emotions periodically for 10-15 seconds. his could mean giving her a few calls over the course of an hour. she'll give you an ioi when she's warmed up and then a transition is made into probing questions about her coming to meet you right now.

scenario 2: you are hooking her in with your talking and you notice she is coming close to replying nearly instantly. there has been multiple conversational threads introduced. but a mistake has been made and theres something wrong going in the current thread. she starts texting slower. its ideal to call her one you realize shes gone missing. she will answer the phone neutrally. use an opposite conversational thread as rooting for the phone call. be calm and pay attention to the emotions , she'll get warmed up quick if you are warm with her and qualify her a little bit. then schedule something right then and there. can be done in 5 minutes.

scenario 3: establishing medium dynamic. you have 1 thread going thru text. then you call her for 10-15 seconds and start a new thread through the phone (a different medium). what this does is give her a shot of a state that is opposite to the other thread. then refer to that thread thru text to really tie the two mediums together. this'll be addicting to her.
 

fog

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i will head down to columbia in a few weeks for more practice. in the meantime, i am mixing online and daytime approaches.

DAYTIME

Projecting ecstasy onto the crowd


the weed i was smoking made me feel ecstatic. i went downtown and parked myself in a high traffic area. streams of people were passing 2 feet in front of me. i melted into the lake of powerful kinesthetic feelings, and focused my energy on the crowd in front of me. it was fascinating to measure the impact of my state on women. it was transferred from me to them highly effectively. as they came into my radius, their own state got positively enhanced. i saw all sorts of reactions. a couple women visibly tossed from their own inner vibe. some were intimidated, others emboldened. tons of contagious smiles. imagine throwing a bit of sexual state in there?

letting go + adrenaline

i am in the grocery store. this girl is facing away from me in the aisle.

fog: excuse me
*she turns around*
fog: your coat. you must be warm
*she is now facing me*
groceries1: yeah i am
fog: its great as the weather are we are getting a lot of rain *motioning to outside*
groceries1: its perfect
fog: this city is gonna flood
groceries1: here? nooo i dont think so
fog: my basement flooded
groceries1: oh im so sorry!
fog: it was crazy. seeing all the water come in...
groceries 1: yeah....
fog: as it was coming in i felt adrenaline....you know that feeling
groceries1: *making eye contact* yeah...
fog: im an adrenaline junkie. i love the feeling..
*her eyes soften*

Unfortunately it derails shortly after as i fuck up and start suggesting letting go around each other. A look of discomfort flashes into her eyes and she tries leaving shortly before her boyfriend shows up.

because you are lightning quick!

i am checking out of the grocery store. the cashier is in a social mood with the man in front of me. its my turn to check out. i say hi to her, but she doesn't hear it. masks and a plexiglass barrier. but then:

cashier: debit or credit?
fog: credit
*brief silence while we get the machine ready*
fog: whats your favorite animal?
cashier: *engaged and thinking* hmmmm..
fog: no wait - what would you say he thinks your favorite animal is? *points to 2 of her coworkers*
cashier: lets ask him!
cashier: hey, coworker 1! what do you think my favorite animal is?
*i move over in the middle of all 3 of them*
coworker1: *is put on the spot, starts eye coding with coworker 2* uhhh, dog!
*cashier hands my receipt to me*
cashier: what! cmon no way...im a.. leopard!
fog: because you are lightning quick! *looking at cashier*
coworker: yes!!!!!!! *jumps around, has state spike and starts checking out next customer*
fog: *to coworker 1* can you get me a pen...
fog: *to cashier* whats your second favorite animal?
*coworker 1 disappears to get a pen while i grin at coworker 2. coworker 1 comes back with a pen.
i try writing down my number on the receipt but then pen is dead.

cashier: *blurts this out while still with new customer* and my second favorite animal is a lion!

i leave. im always there, anyways.

BEST AND WORST TEXTING (OCT 21-29)

Showcasing a few sets from the last week. Top is best, worst is lowest.

Still using the new structure from skills, and experimenting with tobasco's honesty frame. also implementing ideas from female narratives by bacchus.

There's been a rapid spring forward in progression in the last week. Its identifiable, especially when comparing the best to worst.

I noticed a persistent sticking point: I screen way too hard without returning the investment the girl is giving from me, and instead ask for compliance, causing resistance from her. So I started screening less and at the right time, and providing ample investment back when necessary, before asking for compliance. This works a lot better.

Actively participating in anal

fascinating speech patterns from her. the looks on this girl pull on my heartstrings.

fog: hi possible lover
grass: hello sweet near stranger
grass: straight up you scare me a bit but i think im into it
fog: same here. tell me, what are your two best qualities besides your appearance?
grass:: i make good pasta
grass: and i am smart
grass: my plump rump is a sneaky third
grass: now im curious to hear yours
fog: i like it. not too often i meet someone with the right mix of 3!
fog: creativity and social/relationship skills
grass: im intrigued
grass: not too often i have to look up the definition of a word to find out a dude wants to stick it in the back
fog: grass i think u are worth getting to know, text me XXX-XXX-XXXX we'll continue this cool conversation
*texts me*
grass: alright i will
fog: nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place
grass: nice to be here, the atmosphere is far nicer
grass: just a little bit less of a hellsite
fog: i only care about honesty. no bullshit. so be real with me for what we're about to chat about
grass: i can absolutely do that. scouts honour
fog: whens the last time you met a pygophile
grass: ive never met anyone whos used that word, so
grass: in the name of honesty i will say that the last relationship i was in i like actively participated in anal for a few years
grass: but im guessing youre going to tell me why this is different
*1 hour later
grass: just so you know, i do not care and do not pass any judgement
grass: but i am wildly curious as to what you have to say

Trouble is all of you

striking a middle ground here. qualy sequence could have been better, could have leaned a bit more sexual.

fog: hi possible lover
cotton: hi lover boy!
fog: i spy trouble in your eyes
cotton: me? neeeeeever lol trouble is all of you, for sure tho ;)
fog: we'll see ;) what are ur 2 best qualities besides ur appearance?
cotton: im very passionate and loyal af! lol
cotton: hbu
fog: its not too often i meet someone with the right mix of both
fog: humor and social/relationship skills
fog: i like loyalty cuz im a taurus
cotton: yeah im those qualities to a fault tho and im a scorpio, cant remember how compatible the two are
cotton: but good to know :)
fog: i definitely think should get to know each other :)
cotton: absolutely :) id like that!
fog: text me XXX-XXX-XXXX
fog: we can continue this cool conversation
*texts me*
cotton: ready to continue the cool conversation
fog: nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place
cotton: right?
*10 minutes later*
cotton: how goes tinder anyway? (trying to trigger iois)

You sound like my kinda guy

cute relationship-y flirting. coulda turned it sexual.

canoe: hey there! i love muscular guys and tea and dogs...and i have a nice butt
fog: where have you been my whole life? :)
canoe: first city x, then city y, and now city z lol. how about you?
fog: city z! you move there to chase boys or for fun?
canoe: haha for work
fog: hi potential lover
canoe: lol you are adorable
fog: ooo look at us calling each other cute names already
canoe: haha off to a great start
fog: maybe we can make a habit of it if you have some of my weaknesses
canoe: oh yeah? what might those be
fog: mostly ambition, a positive outlook and a nice ass (which you have apparently ;P)
canoe: well ive got all of those things :p at least, i think its a nice ass. i guess you might not necessarily agree
canoe: i think you sound like my my kinda guy too - i love muscular guys and tea, and im not really cool but dogs love me. i also cry at the end of infinity war when tony dies, and im a lousy arm wrestler, but pretty great in a pilllow fight!
fog: i like that alot canoe :) you sound great to me and i think we could meet sometime
canoe: haha that sounds nice :)
fog: heres my # please text me. XXX-XXX-XXXX
canoe: texted you :)

*texts me*

canoe: hey :) its canoe
fog: welcome canoe. nice to have you here. sure is much better than the other place
canoe: much better
fog: i just realized something though
canoe: whats that
fog: well.. i am curious to see if we can let go around each other and be our authentic selves
canoe: thats true!
canoe: im pretty comfortable with who i am so i dont have a terrible time letting go around people i like :)

ghosted by fruit

a perfect example of what NOT to do. from last week:

fog: hi future lover
fruit: you dont remember meeeee!
fog: almost!
fruit: almost!?
fog: yes! cuz i still dont know anything super worthwhile about fruit
fruit: well im a libra. im 4'11 and waitress/student but dont get it twisted im mostly a student (canned line, maybe in response to my canned line lol)
fog: still short as ever...tell me, how is your life right now on a scale of 1-10? 10 being best?
fruit: its like 3/10 tbh. you
fog: 3 huh. it will go straight to 10 when we meet.
fog: 8.5 only cuz i expect great things from my myself. i cant feel happy where i am so i keep pushing, especially in my professional life so i can become a 9 at least and stay like that forever
fruit: youre so positive!! thats refreshing
fog: thanks...what are your two best qualities? besides your appearance
fruit: thats not even a good quality of mine lool 1. friendly/outgoing 2. puts others first
fruit: what kind of car would best describe your personality
fog: text me XXX-XXX-XXXX we'll talk there
fog: definitely worth getting to know but barely here
*she ghosts*
 
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fog

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FR+: OCP Girl from Badoo Comes Over [Failed Escalation]

i meet a 23 year old girl on badoo. this is her bio:

cant get over this guy. just started a new job. depressed. anyone have any advice?

very telling.

when i message her, she instantly shit tests me and proceeds to screen me lightly on multiple topics. she brings up sex first, but puts off taking any sort of action with me that night. regardless, i continue escalating, and get her on the phone. she is very receptive and agrees to come to my place after i spike her emotions. when she gets here, i escalate too aggressively, too quickly, so she leaves.

two notes:

1. i mostly used topics tailored to the overcome by passion archetype
2. i was on autopilot and high

fog: i just noticed you
girl: hey
fog: theres something different about you
girl: i bet you say that to every girl :rolleyes:
fog: you remind me of my ex
fog: have the same kind of energy
girl: do you have any more photos?
girl: what kind of energy is that?
fog: yes i can send you some
fog: *sends picture*
girl: sorry to ask this...but height?
girl: just curious
fog: 6 feet, ya
girl: and what are your interests
fog: turning girls into a princess for a night
girl: im legit curious
fog: i think we could meet
girl: where are u located
fog: XXX location
fog: and ill tell you all about it
fog: street name. wbu?
girl: r u definitely looking for sex?
girl: X location
fog: im looking for good sex not just regular sex
girl: so ur just looking for casual fun
fog: yes im open to anything
girl: can i get back to you
fog: no
fog: text me your favorite animal XXX-XXX-XXX

*she texts me *

girl: monkey
fog: describe the personality of a monkey
girl: inquisitive playful ferocious wild impulsive
fog: imagine this...you meet a prince. you have found him, your new addiction. you transform into a princess and he steals you away on a trip to hawaii
girl: :rolleyes:*thumbs up*
girl: tell me more about yourself
fog: im the type of guy who likes to explore what's possible when im not inhibited
girl: explain more
girl: also what do you mean when you're referring to yourself as an intellectual guy
fog: lets get together and you can tell me :)
girl: what're your hobbies on a daily basis? curious
fog: tonight
girl: i cant do it with someone unless i kinda like them
girl: also i just got home from work and im tired. id be lackluster grumpy company
fog: so one side of you is playful and wild, and another is inquisitive and impulsive
girl: hmm you really like word games
fog: please, stop it with the word games. we're going to keep it more rated r
girl: kk
fog: whens the last time you had sex
girl: im probably not gonna come over tonight cuz im gonna take a nap but keep in touch?
girl: day before yesterday
fog: im going to call you for a sec

I am surprised here - because I get distracted, but then look at my phone and SHE is calling me. i answer and she is quite receptive. heres the gist of it:

fog: hows it goinnggg
girl: how are youuuu
fog: just walking down the street....there was a kid on a skateboard just now....he was riding towards me....then gave me the finger and wiped out....
girl: *laughing*
fog: and then he got up, and rode off...
girl: lol omg
fog: i will come there on my skateboard to get you
girl: blalbla something stupid and unrelated out of the frame about skateboards
fog: i willl put you on my back and steal you away on my skateboard
girl: hahaha youre interesting maybe i will bike down there

i verbally tell her my address and also text her it....we get back to texting...

girl: i will be there in 45 minutes
*30ish minutes later*
girl: im here but i dont know if i wanna do this anymore..
fog: be right there.

i walk outside and see her. she walks up to me on her bike. i grab her and kiss her. straight on the lips. she does not resist. then i say, lets go...come on....and i lead her into my house. inside, she is taking forever to take off her shoes, and i grab her ass.

i bring her into my room and tell her to sit on my bed where i can look at her. and then i immediately tried manhandle kissing her several times like i did with her on the street. she didnt like that....knowing i am currently rusty with escalation, i realize my mistake pretty quickly and start kissing her neck instead... but when i do that, shes like no no i gotta go...and rushed out of my place....telling me she hoped i could find something else to do that night...
 
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