Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR



Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Apr 14, 2019 9:58 pm

Today was another daygame Sunday, in which I successfully instant-dated a total hottie, got her number, and scheduled a follow up date for tomorrow. Experiences like this continue to convince me of the power of the daygame approach over other methods.

Today was overcast and ugly, although warm, and I noticed a distinctive lack of approachable women in the section of the city I decided to start out in today. Thus I started to walk over to a better area and set a modest goal of 5 approaches. The first I got done with quickly (a friendly Austrian tourist who was actually with her parents nearby about to travel to New York City, thus a no-go). I let several opportunities pass me by after this approach thus lost momentum. When I finally got another approach out, to a cutie with a jean skirt on and a tall coffee, it was a total blowout (she ignored me completely).

The next approach was another girl with a coffee that listened to my sales pitch but didn't hook. After that it was a woman with a sundress and a baby in a carriage (opened by asking if the baby was hers - it wasn't) - the remarkable thing about this one was that she was open to giving me her contact info even after she said she had a boyfriend, and after I disqualified myself as a boyfriend candidate ("I dont want to be your boyfriend"). It shows once again that women can still be open to you even after they bring up boyfriends. Approach #5 was a cutie that came out of a plant shop - was pleasant but politely declined when I asked her out.

After the 5 approaches I was fairly discouraged, but warmed up for when I saw the next girl - she had a hoodie on, and tight leggings which showed off a beautiful ass. Overall very attractive, and well above what I normally get from Tinder or Bumble. I saw her and opened right away, commenting that it looked like she just came out of a yoga class. She hooked immediately and we talked about fitness, travel, and her work. Turns out she is visiting from California and only here for a few more days (it is always the travelers that are most receptive). After some vibing I suggest an instant-date to a bar a few metro stops away that I knew had good drinks and good latin music.

There was actually some reluctance on her part at multiple stages, with her pausing and going "I dont know..." both when I first suggested it, and right before we go into the metro stop. I persisted with some gentle leadership and touching of her arm ("just for a little bit, I promise you will like it"), and she acquiesced both times. She kept commenting how random it was, and how she had never used the metro before (lol). I told her she was delightfully innocent, but that "dont worry I still like you". She responded positively to this with an "okay good :)".

While on the metro she continued to remark about how random it was, and thanking me for the experience. I told her I am glad to make things interesting for her, and at this point go in for the kiss, which is rejected. I brush it off and tell her its okay, "its my job to try", and continue to lead her to the bar where music playing and people are dancing. Once there I buy us a round of drinks (she drinks a tequila shot), then we dance a little bit, and I grab her number at this point which she gives me enthusiastically. After about 30 minutes she says she would like to go back to her hotel soon. I tell her okay but also suggest a bounce back to my place instead "without all the people and loud music". More indecision - and this time persistence is less effective. She tells me she doesn't know me yet and wants to be safe. I tell her its understandable (failed to throw in some spiking here, could have easily turned the tables on her and told her I need to know she isn't a serial killer, etc).

Eventually I walk her out of the bar and to the metro, telling her I will drop her off then go back to the bar. When we part, she hugs me but its clear from the way she turns her head that a kiss close wasn't in the cards. I kiss her cheek and tell her we should meet tomorrow for a drink, she tells me she would like that, and that she will text me to tell me she got back safe.

After about an hour I initiate the following text exchange:

Científico: Great to meet :) Did you get back with no problems?
Daygame Hottie (DH): Hey I did make it back!
Científico: Good!! First successful round trip metro trip ;)
DH: Yes! Thank you for the experience!!

*Pause for about two hours*

Científico: Happy to spice things up for you DH
Científico: What time are you free tomorrow afternoon/evening to grab a bite to eat?
DH (replies within minutes): I'll text you after I'm done with the gym and I have a teeth cleaning. But after that I'm free
Científico: So you'll have perfect teeth, sounds lovely
Científico: What will it be at the gym this time? Brazilian Ju Jitsu? Karate? Muay Thai (reference to earlier conversation when I opened her)
DH: Exactly! This is just regular gym although I do want to try Muay Thai. How was the bar when you went back? Did you have fun?
Científico: I always have fun when I go there. Even when the music shifts Reggaetón heavy
Científico: Let{s shoot for 6-7 tomorrow, tentatively
DH: Sounds good.


Several thoughts here:

1.) The power of the daygame approach is awesome, like I mentioned earlier. A girl this attractive would be much more difficult to game during night game, and impossible online
2.) Persistence and gentle leadership pays off, and smashed her reluctance to the instant date
3.) Seems like its better to err on the side of overescalation rather than underescalation - both the attempted kiss and the attempted bounce back don't seem to have decreased her attraction and willingness to meet again. But the escalation has to be calibrated well.

We'll see what happens tomorrow, assuming she doesn't flake. Aiming for another two-venue date with the bounce home.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Apr 15, 2019 6:32 pm

Well, the fact that it is 6:30 pm and this girl has not responded to both of my pings today, means at this point we can pretty safely conclude she has flaked. A real shame - but at this point these flakes never hurt as much as they used to, 5-10 years ago. Just more motivation to get back on the horse and try again - there is no shortage of women like her.

What lessons can I draw from this? I'm not 100% sure, but my inkling is that there was some over-escalation yesterday with the kiss attempt and the bounce-home attempt, which brought up her buying temperature (hence her fast responses last night) but then led to some kind of buyers remorse and auto-rejection today when I let the interaction cool off overnight. A small part of me knew I could have tried to set up a meeting last night instead of tomorrow, but I didn't think much of it - now I know this was likely the best route to try to go. When I escalate the way I did on the instant-date, best policy is probably to try to go for the same day lay... I'll probably convert this into a regular field report on the main board to see what other board members say about this one, because I could use the feedback.

Today I almost went back downtown to do another day game mission in the same area I met her, but it's a cold, and very windy day thus suboptimal for daygame. Instead I'll do some chores I need to get done here tonight and save a new daygame mission for tomorrow (weather is more favorable). Thank goodness that this is a light work-week that allows me to do go out and daygame more than usual.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Wed Apr 17, 2019 9:05 am

Two topics today:



1.) It was absolutely gorgeous out, and a perfect day for some daygame, with nice sunshine and a crisp cool temperature. I was on a role (for me, at least), with a low blowout rate and a decently high 'hook' rate. I did 13 approaches, and got 2 numbers, one facebook, and one email. I will follow up actively with all of them except for the facebook close, since she was heading back to Canada and I essentially closed her just for practice. Both numbers responded to my icebreaker texts (one was a gorgeous black girl on her way to a job interview at a restaurant, the other a honduran cashier at a vegan restaurant I was able to close since the place was dead).

And the email? A hot indian theology student walking with big textbooks. As I attempted to close her, she told me she was gay and has a girlfriend, and that she doesn't give out her number "like that", but that she will give me her email. From her email I see her full name, was able to find her on facebook - she is indeed gay with pictures of her with another girl and some with a rainbow background. She is indeed a sexy lesbian. Not that I will let this deter me from trying to get her out on a date!! Although the email game has to be tight for sure - today I will compose something observational, non-needy with some light humor to see if I can get a response.




2.) I seem to have run some decent salsa game within the past week, with two girls from a dance team I met last Wednesday interested in me. Last night, kinda drunk, I kissed one of them (the one I actually like) lightly when she called out the elephant in the room, saying "I don't know if you were here for me or for someone else", but perhaps crucially failed to escalate more than this and left. This is perhaps the classic Cientifico mistake of starting an escalation then stopping. Despite getting the kiss close, cant help but feel I fucked up? The story:

Wednesday of last week I go to a local bar with some music/dancing, and the place is mostly dead - the only females worth talking to are a group of 4 that was there to perform. I already know one of them from previous months, who I number closed before due to lukewarm interest and ran some light escalation/text game before it fizzled out. However when I see her she is always friendly, loves to dance with me, and gives me big friendly hugs/cheek kisses, which I enjoy for the social proof.

The three girls I don't know are hanging out at the bar, so I approach the entire group and vibe with them on the dance culture, how they performed (I missed it that time due to arriving late), and if the venue will survive. I get them all out to dance individually and they really enjoy it - this is when my 10+ years of salsa/bachata experience comes in handy.

One of the three leaves, leaving two to vibe with. I hang out with them at the bar individually, chatting with them about various subjects while other guys ask them ask them to dance (then mostly bringing them right back), dancing with both occasionally, and number closing both. Its clear that they both enjoyed talking to me - but I am only attracted to one of them (lets call her Katrina). Still, this initial interaction creates competition and a pre-selection dynamic.

I let Katrina know I might go to another venue the following day closer to her location (she remarks "oooh I might go if you are there"), which I do, and I see her there briefly and get a few dances in. Nothing remarkable about this interaction other than she is happy to see me - but I leave earlier that night and leave her with the two friends she came with.

Over the weekend (Friday) I ask Katrina out, and I never text her friend at all. I suggest we get Indian food/drinks at a venue closer to where she lives (her distance is considerable, 30-40 minute drive). She interprets it as me asking her out THAT night, and saying that she cant do it since she already has plans. I tell her weekend is better anyway - and at this point she doesn't respond! I do a 72 hour roll-off, and re-engage yesterday with my normal "Did you get kidnapped!?" text, which she responds to immediately. I probe to see if she can get a drink with me that evening, but she says she has dance practice, and we discuss the next place where her team will perform. I do not confirm that I will be there and sorta leave it hanging, not responding to her final text.

Which brings us to last night at this Tuesday venue. I was very on after my daygame session - once again the Argentinian I briefly dated earlier in the year was there and was very warm upon seeing me. ALL of the girls on the team, including Katrina, greet me warmly as well. They perform, I dance with all of them and everyone is having a good time. Both girls from last week are coming up to me at various points to engage conversation. Katrina at one point asks me to join her at the bar, which I do for a bit. Here I know that I have to escalate a bit, but I'm not sure I do the best job at spiking/getting sexual/flirting - it seems to be stuck in comfort a lot with her. I think the main source of her attraction is simply coming from the fact that I am a better dancer than 95% of guys and I seem to have a pre-selection dynamic going for me with the other girl, who also comes up to us, and I can easily make fun of her for being a postdoc - indeed it seems to be much easier to flirt with the other girl I am actually not interested in!

A little before 1 am everyone is leaving and I let Katrina know I'm going soon also. She thanks me for being there, and then, crucially says: "I don't know if you were here for me or for someone else" (obviously referring to the other girl I was flirting with).

Here is the crucial moment where my semi-drunk self needs to decide how to proceed/escalate Without thinking to much, I kiss her - and she kisses back. It is however a brief, quick kiss. Then I ask her how she is getting home, and if she feels okay to drive back to her area. She tells me she has a car and that she will be fine. I float the fact that she could hang out with me instead since I live much closer. She hesitates, and almost seems to consider it - but here for some reason I back off and tell her I will see her at the festival this weekend we both plan on attending, and leave it at that.

While I'm driving home analyzing the interaction I am kinda kicking myself - with a little bit of persistence, I may have been able to pull her home. I always struggle with knowing when to escalate. This is still a big problem for me, and I am still sometimes very indecisive, since I've had experiences with over-escalation/buyers remorse before.

I text her telling her to let me know when she gets back. She does around an hour later, telling me she stayed at the venue a little longer and had fun (another sign that I could have pulled her - almost certainly other guys tried to game her during this time), and asking me how old I am.

So, Despite getting the kiss close, I'm not sure I handled this optimally. The weekend will provide another opportunity to do a proper close since we will both be at the same festival and logistics will be perfect with my hotel room - IF I can get that far.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Wed Apr 17, 2019 7:53 pm

Just another update on "Katrina" - we have been text exchanging all day.

Some banter in the morning in response the questions she sent me last night, her confirming that she wants to go to the same bar down the street tonight that I met her at last week, then me inviting her over to cook for her - which leads to this from her:

So I’ll be honest I don’t think I can go over your place or something like that. But I am dating someone and don’t think it’ll be a good idea for me to do that. However, going for some food I am still up for it.


Clear evidence that I screwed up last night and fell into the boyfriend frame, or even killed the attraction she had for me with the "false start". I explicitly disqualify myself as a boyfriend "I don't want to be your boyfriend", and at first I even suggest a food place to go with her suggestion, but then realized that will get me absolutely nowhere (clearly in boyfriend frame) so I cancel and tell her I'll see her at the bar. Later on in the day she texts me again and tells me she is too tired to go to the bar. I try to revive the cooking-at-my-place idea to get her to relax, and she engages in some banter about her favorite veggies but then says "wait this isn't for tonight right? I can't tonight." to which I reply "suit yourself - maybe another night I feel like cooking ;)"

Going to be hard to recover from this I feel. Meanwhile, both numbers I got yesterday daygaming stopped texting me back and no response to the email I sent to the hot indian lesbian. Hitting rock bottom with no prospects at all tonight.

The only thing that keeps me positive right now is the sheer number of women out there and the ease at getting new prospects. All I have to do is go out day-gaming on Friday and use my dance game this weekend (as of yesterday, I quit Tinder/Bumble - it simply does not work for the quality I want). But who would have thunk that it would be so god damn difficult to get laid after my long-term relationship. I've had dozens and dozens of women reject me at every stage in 2019, from the initial phone number, to being in my apartment kissing me but not fucking. They are ALWAYS falling off somewhere along the seduction ladder, and some days it is maddening.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Fri Apr 19, 2019 12:10 am

Today I had another clusterfuck situation at work, but this time it was me cleaning up the mess of another colleague. Again this job giving me all kinds of new learning experiences - at least it is never getting boring.

Afterwards I went running which helped calm my nerves, then decided I was going to go out to a "kizomba" night, again at a very local bar close to my apartment. Before I left I received a very positive response to a scheduler text, sent three days ago to a very sexy asian milf whose number I got dancing on Saturday (will wait until tomorrow to respond). It was on with this woman as soon as I started dancing with her, so I'm pleased to be generating new prospects after the weird day yesterday. Like I said, getting new leads is easy - its following through that is currently my problem!!

Kizomba is a dance that comes from Africa, heavily popularized in Europe before it came over to the US. Almost all of the songs are in Portuguese or French, and the dance is very close/intimate/sensual. It has made inroads into the salsa community, especially in Europe, and while I lived there I dabbled in it quite a lot. Here it is mostly separate events to salsa and the crowds they attract are often different.

A very pretty black girl was that I mentioned almost a month ago was there. She was really the only girl at the venue tonight that I was that interested in. Here is what I said about her then then:

Finally, I actually did check out a salsa/bachata/zouk night tonight - first dancing event in a while. Learned that its possible to over-tease a girl and have the opposite of its intended effect, especially when its uncalibrated and in front of her friends - this girl wanted nothing to do with me afterwards. So that was a failed experiment


Miraculously, today she gave me a big smile upon seeing me, while sitting at the bar by herself. I go right up to her and greet her, ask her a few fluff questions then move on to change my shoes. So over-teasing/cockiness can piss girls off - for a time, until they get over it. She saw me flirting with the other salseras on Tuesday (and was again acting cold that night, but I didn't care since I was busy), thus I take it the preselection had some desired effect on her as well. I take a phone call from my Mexican lady friend (which I know she sees me take through the window), then go back inside and eventually ask her to dance after getting a few other dances in with other girls. Unfortunately my timing was bad as it was right when the manager of the bar was coming up to her for an interview - she rebuffs me, slightly coldly like she did the first night. I continue to go about my business, dance with some other girls at the bar, until I see her come back out and seemingly avoid eye contact with me. I think its back to the coldness with her - UNTIL she walks by a few minutes later, we make eye contact with cheeky smiles which I break, then she actually reaches over and sorta grabs my shoulder as she passes, then continues walking. Next time I see her I grab her for a dance - again bad timing as its right when another guy is coming up to talk to her, but she wraps up the convo and we dance.

Do I try to game her further or number close her? Not really. With the loud music, and her constant dancing with other dudes (or by herself, since the DJ changed the music from partner dance music to other stuff) the opportunity wasn't really there. I know this sounds lame, but my "state" was really not in the mood to try to move her to the bar for a drink - I was avoiding alcohol tonight to save my energy for the weekend. I'll be fully recharged during this big weekend event coming up, in which I know she will be there as well as a ton of other salseras - this is the time I will swing the bat hard to try to get one of these females back to my hotel room.

My first real dance congress since last year, and first one in which I have a hotel room in well over a year (before I was single) - with hundreds of hot women around and perfect logistics, there will be no excuse not to swing the bat as hard as possible to get a home-run.

Basic plan will be ---> dance floor game ---> extract to hotel bar ----> up to hotel room, starting tomorrow night.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Apr 21, 2019 10:55 pm

This post is my 'report' post dance-congress.

Brief recap:

Overall epic experience at this congress, meeting so many girls, and it was my first experience really swinging the bat hard and trying to get a girl back to my hotel room - which I succeeded in doing Saturday night! But, just like the rest of the cases in April, lost this one too to LMR despite about 1.5 - 2 hours of persistence and she left me with a serious case of blue balls. Despite this, I left the congress with a BIG smile on my face and overall very very positive vibes. Besides the bounce-back on Saturday, I flirted with many many girls, got 6 phone numbers, another kiss close/make-out, and two lunch 'dates' on Sunday (not to mention having an overall great time dancing and increasing my dance repertoire). I also learned a lot about how to leverage my knowledge of game, and pick-up, in this kind of setting with my high value to these girls that comes from 10+ years of dance experience.

More details:

My arrival to this congress was on Friday night. I had booked a hotel next door to the congress hotel to make it a proper weekend, and like I mentioned before, have perfect logistics for a bounce back. I prepare the room beforehand by buying alcohol (beer and cheap white wine) as well as setting up a speaker to play music with my computer, which would be ready to go as soon as I arrive.

There are three main components to a salsa congress - workshops during the day with instructors, performances after dinner, then partying all night until 6-7 am.

On Friday, my arrival coincided with when most people were watching the performances, around 9-10 pm. This is just a passive activity in which you sit and watch other people perform, which has never been my cup of tea. Luckily this congress had a room set up just for people like me that aren't into waiting for the performances to be over before they want to start dancing.

This dance room is barren with only a few people at this point in the night, but in the room is a cute MILF dancing with another dude, and I grab her as soon as she is done with him. She isnt super skilled but I have fun with her regardless, and conversation continues after the dance and after I dance with another woman in the same room. I suggest 'getting an adult beverage' at the hotel bar, which she accepts (applying the game principle of 'moving venues' to test compliance, something I do over and over and over again at this congress).

At the bar, we get drinks, and after sitting down lo and behold the other woman that was also in the room turns up - I invite her to sit with us. Thus, there I am having a drink with two cute ladies I just met. Not a bad start!

We hang out at the bar until the performances end and the party starts. During the course of the night on Friday I attempt 4 bounce-backs (two with the two women I had drinks with, plus two more I met/danced with throughout the night), roughly using the strategy of 1.) identifying a target that I am dancing with who seems "on" - (very flirty, sensual dancing), 2.) Moving her to another ballroom with different kinds of music playing (venue change within the same event, testing compliance), then 3.) suggesting 'a drink' in my hotel room. Unfortunately all four of these attempts are not successful - a combination of factors I feel led to these failures, either not enough comfort, not enough sexual tension building, or just plain lack of interest from the girl. Besides grabbing a number or two, I go back to my room exhausted at 4 am empty-handed.

Saturday was a much better day. During the day were the workshops. Highlight was meeting a very cute and very flirty/receptive Boricua (just like me) who was taking one of the same workshops. Her interest seemed obvious as we danced together in the beginning of one of the workshops which had easily over 100 attendees, and then split up as people rotated, but afterwards after the workshop ended and I went to grab my stuff she IMMEDIATELY made eye contact and grinned at me. I go right up to her to and chat, grab her number, and send her a short "good to meet" text. She replies with a high-investment text later in the day that is almost 10 times as long, and responsive to my pings later in the weekend. I am excited to get this one out on a date - but logistics are very very poor, unfortunately.

Saturday evening, same strategy - I skip the performances and go to the dance room that has people in it that would rather dance instead of watch performances. There I meet another friendly MILF who I strike up a conversation with, and again use the "lets get an adult beverage" bounce-to-hotel-bar strategy. This is effective and she comes with me - but then reveals she doesn't drink once there (LOL). Funny enough, she dismisses herself as she says she wants to go back to dancing, but then recruits another woman who had just arrived at the bar to take her place who is in fact cuter than she is. This new woman has no problem sitting with me, and I end up talking to her for about 2 hours, with mostly comfort and vibing with a few sexual spikes. She is also throwing back the alcohol and has a quirky personality - as the person reading this post can problably guess, this is the girl that ends up agreeing to the bounce back later.

Eventually around midnight I excuse myself from the girl at the bar (after getting her number) and make it to the party, which is now going on in full force. A lot of dancers, and a LOT of cute girls. With one girl after the other, I do my 1.), 2.), 3.) strategy outlined above, sometimes for the number close as #3 instead of the bounce-back, then literally (within seconds), often finding a brand new sexy girl to try it with. One girl is being particularly sensual, putting her face/mouth VERY close to mine - after her doing this 10-15 times, I just go straight for it (wasn't hard - I had to close a distance of only a few centimeters). She isn't particularly receptive to the ultra-fast escalation of kissing though, and this is the only number that actually doesn't respond to an ice-breaker text all weekend (overall, the numbers I was getting are generally responding, probably meaning my game was tighter than usual).

One girl I dance with had made sexy eye contact several times during the workshops or at the bar earlier, and when I finally ask her to dance she is ready for it, and very enthusiastic about giving me her number:

Me: Where are you coming from?
Her: *names town 3 hours away*, come visit me
Me: I don't know, that's far. You have to make it worth it for me.
Her: *Sexy voice* I will definitely make it worth it for you. (WHOA)


Eventually, I find the girl from the bar earlier that I spoke with for so long. She is very happy to see me and expresses her concern that she would never find me in such a big event, and was happy she finally did. Its already ~3 am, so I do the 'venue change', then suggest the bounce back....and she agrees! As we are walking out, the petite MILF from the other week that was at my place sees me leave with this new girl and reacts very jealous/cooly (LOL).

As we are walking to my hotel, this girls body language is distant (wont let me touch her that much), and outside of the hotel room the LMR starts - i.e., she pauses in the hallway and says "by the way, we are not hooking up". I use the standard anti-LMR role reversal for this, telling her she needs to get her mind out of the gutter and asking her "why are you thinking about sex all the time?". This gets her in the room. She grabs my cheap white wine and starts drinking it, then plops herself down next to the bed. She seems legitimately nervous and angsty, which later becomes a theme for this girl as the escalation progresses. I tell her to relax, and put my arm around her, and rest my head on her shoulder which seems to calm her. She tells me she will give me a massage, and starts to do so - I take off my shirt "to make it easier for her". Then I turn around and return the favor to her, eventually going up to her neck, then turning her head and giving her a big, full on kiss. She kisses back and very much enjoys it, but she wont let me escalate more, so I fractionate, put on some bullshit movie on Netflix and continue to kiss her, her neck, body, etc, with periods of me pulling back when she pushes away. Her resistance is firm and she never lets me continue escalating past the kissing - and unfortunately as it gets later her anxiety seems to return ("I dont think I can do this, I have to leave"), to the point where she seems very distressed and on the verge of crying. Still, despite her insistence that she needs to leave and that she isn't good company, it almost seems like she needs my permission to leave - she would not let me escalate and insisted on leaving constantly, but she also wouldn't leave as well. After over 30 minutes of this I let her go (giving her the "permission", instead of asking her to stay and relax), and she goes out into the hallway.

A bit confused, I consider what to do next. It is 4:30 am and I know the party is still going on, and I am not at all tired, so I put on clothes again and get back to the party LOL. In the lobby of the hotel I see the girl calling an uber and stay with her until her driver gets there, kissing her again and generally telling her its okay. Then I go back to the dance floor.

I get some dances in with some of the very serious, highly skilled bachateras that are still out dancing at that hour, but my instinct tells me the bounceback wouldnt be in the cards for most of those girls. As I'm ABOUT to call it quits and go back to my hotel room to crash and cure my blue-balls at around 5:30 am, a blonde, slightly overweight but still cute woman asks me to dance - and I can tell it's on right away. Again with the very sensual, face-centimeters-from-mine style. I do the 'venue-change', then again go for the kiss close in the other room in the same fashion as the last time - and this time she is into it, and kisses back. I ask for the bounce-back and she is seriously considering it, but also resisting, saying "I have to let my friend know" and looking for her. I tell her to just text her but to no avail - this is probably when I could have led a bit harder and said "I'm going right now, come with me" to prevent what happens next. When we DO eventually find the friend (a heavy-set girl), she in fact doesn't care that her friend might hook up with me, but gives her the option of going back with her with instead, which the blonde girl takes saying "yeah sorry, I dont hook up at congresses" then going back in to kiss me full on in the mouth.

After this, I do seriously call it quits and go back to wank and sleep.

Sunday morning, I send pings to all the numbers I got over the weekend. Something like 80% respond, including the Boricua I would love to meet again, and the "I will definitely make it worth it for you" girl. I ask the latter girl to get coffee with me, she tells me lets get lunch, and we meet. Its a great lunch date with a very cute and interesting girl, we vibe over many topics and she responds very well to my physical escalations. She lives far away, but this is another girl I would love to see again. I say goodbye to that girl, hit up one more workshop, find the blonde girl again that I kissed closed on the dance floor last night at 6 am and number close her properly (who clearly wanted me to kiss her again, LOL), then have a second food meet with a vegan dancer girl who I knew previously but had a failed date with back in December or January. Might be something to rekindle there but I would have to work at it.

Thus concludes an epic weekend. Lots of amazing interactions with gorgeous females and many leads for future dates.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Apr 29, 2019 9:46 pm

Crappy week of work last week which prevented me from focusing a lot on daygame and pickup. Long story short, I may in fact change jobs within my company, and take a pay cut if it means lowering the stress.

"Katrina" texts me occasionally but I haven't been able to meet up with her. Had a date scheduled Friday with a sexy Asian milf, who actually ended up flaking - apparently my joke about her buying me a drink prompted a comment about "chilvary", and I fucked up the texting after that.

I did manage to go on a daygame mission on Sunday in a nearby city (not my home city), and did six approaches, 2 of which turned into instant dates, and one turned into me meeting the girl later (today) - my VERY FIRST first-date from daygame. Only took 103 approaches and 17 numbers over 2 months. She is postdoc from Hong Kong who is shy in person, yet very chatty over text, claims she has never had a boyfriend and will not stop talking about her dogs and her mother. Almost seems like a perfect case of a girl with pent up sexual frustration. I kissed her outside of her apartment but she wouldn't let me in.

My daygame numbers for April do look a bit better than the ones for March, with a higher "hook" percentage, more numbers per approach, and lower blowout rate. I'll go over them in a future post. But of course none of this means anything if it doesnt translate to results.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun May 05, 2019 3:50 pm

This weekend has been very lazy, aside from Friday when I actually had a girl open ME on the metro and I number closed, and the evening when I had another shot at some night game, actually managing to get a phone number that is semi-responsive this weekend.

The metro close was funny - I was on my way to a work function and NOT in the mood to be opening women, however an old lady on the metro opened me about my company shirt, then the girl next to me (southeast Asian origin, who had come into the metro car earlier and stood next to me) actually butted into the conversation herself. Turns out she was very chatty and friendly, and also a wanabe poliglot like me, so the connection was strong off the bat. My luck continued in that me and the girl had to get off at the same metro stop, so I number closed her and we walked together for a bit before parting. She has been very chatty over text since then, but dodgy when it comes to my date requests thus far. I'm intentionally leaving sometimes long gaps before responding, just to try communicate to her that she has to actually come out at some point to keep enjoying my company and that I will not be her gay-texting-best-friend.

This woman from night game on Friday did in fact show some interest at the bar but was un-receptive to my fast physical escalations, I ejected and started opening other girls, only to have her insert herself into another set later (lol). I number closed her after that and somehow we got separated after that (was drunk, so dont remember all the details).

I'm dealing with both of these numbers right now, plus a few more from weeks/months past, but wasn't able to secure a proper date with any of them this weekend. Yesterday I was also nursing a hangover so my productivity was in fact a bit limited.

I am struggling with low energy and motivation these days, and I suspect it may have to do with my work stress and my falling back into old habits. When it comes to my work, some big changes were initiated this week that may result in a new position, and a new city, very soon. It really sucks that this job, which I was speaking so highly of at the start of the journal, does not seem to be working out as anticipated. I hope to get this part of my life handled so I can truly be at a happy place and start incorporating women into my life more regularly.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:11 pm

Have not updated this in a while. Reason being, shit really did hit the fan professionally - the month of May was one of absolute shit in terms of me having to leave my job, and my company, due to some insurmountable issues with the people I worked with. I'm still in shock that this happened, given that just a few short months ago I thought I was on top of the world professionally. I learned a lot of lessons from this experience, how to better communicate with colleagues, align goals, and ask the right questions during interviews to make sure the team you are joining is one you can actually work and develop a career with.

Thankfully, I'm getting interviews - had two on-sites already, one more coming up, and several more phone/video chat interviews next week. Thus, it is now looking promising that I will find my next job soon and my stress levels now in June have been decreasing with how busy I have been interviewing. Especially after this interview I had on Friday that feels very, very promising. I feel much more like myself now.

Obviously, my game took a hit in May as a result of all this craziness and I wasn't really focused on meeting women most of the month. I did a grand total of 2 daygame approaches in the entire month of May! The only thing of significance that happened was me attracting this cute turkish girl from a meetup that ended up coming back to my place on the second date - the problem was, I find out she is a virgin....and would not let me stick P in V. She always wanted to hang out and see me after that, and somehow, I fell into the boyfriend frame with her - I suspect this happens with virgins more often than not.

I decided to dump her after the third date to focus on meeting more promising sexual leads rather than spending time with a girl I knew I wasn't able to give what she wanted. I am not on the market to be a boyfriend that waits to have sex, at least not since I have been a teenager.

Now I've done almost 18 daygame approaches in June so far and gotten 6 numbers. I enjoy it way more than Tinder, because I select the girls rather than them selecting me, and I deleted all the dating apps to help motivate me to go out on daygame sessions. My main problem is still, like it has always been, extending these numbers past the initial interaction and reducing the flake rate. This applies not just to daygame but to other sources of phone numbers from girls. I met a stunning girl from Singapore dancing last night that seemed very "on" the ENTIRE night, with me blatantly communicating my interest (calling her 'beautiful') and her reciprocating, introducing me to her sister, and even setting up a date for later this week - of course she didn't answer the phone when I called tonight nor has she answered the text I sent right after. The cruel twist of life - as soon as you start caring about the outcome with a girl, the girl senses it and ejects.

I've started to record my in-field sets, and a few things I notice listening to myself
1.) Need to make sure my voice is deeper and I speak more slowly
2.) Need to stop laughing/giggling so much (especially at my own jokes)
3.) Need to get better at stacking/improv (one of the hardest parts of daygame).

I'm also considering implementing the phone call some more into my dating, like I've mentioned before. I have had success with it before, and as I have learned from my phone interviews - I have a great phone voice that I need to use to my advantage. So I will probably start changing my SOP - rather than sending the scheduler text first (after the icebreaker text) and waiting for a response, I'll call, and only if she does not pick up will I send the scheduler text. Then I'll try to put phone calls more into the interaction at later stages if she responds.

If all goes well, next week I will be sitting on two job offers. Let's hope this tempest passes and I start a job that really fits with me, and I feel stable and can focus on game once more. In a few weeks I should know where I will be next.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Jun 29, 2019 5:11 pm

Past few weeks have been great, as I have successfully recovered professionally and secured two job offers. As of last week I have accepted one of these offers, and will start a new job July 1. I am very excited as it represents a new opportunity to get back on track with the career I wanted. This time the team appears to be exactly what I need to succeed and I will work hard to ensure success.

What else has occurred? Last night, I got laid! It was the second date with a Kazakh girl I met at a language meetup earlier this month - I took her out dancing (as she also happens to be a dancer), took her home, and proceeded to have sex in all parts of my apartment (including the balcony!!). She is one of the horniest girls I have screwed in a while, telling me to fuck her harder constantly and initiating more rounds of sex. During the post-sex interview, she had apparently decided to fuck me during the salsa club. Generally I steer clear of taking girls out to clubs on dates, but as I suspected, since I had established the 'lover' frame during the first date this second date at the salsa club proceeded smoothly.

This lay is exactly what I needed - and helps get me in the right mindset to start the new job. Looking forward to the future at this point.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Jul 21, 2019 1:46 pm

I found myself on an unexpected trip to Madrid this week. While here (and adjusting to the new timezone), it has been the perfect opportunity to try some daygame in Europe for the first time.

And what happens? Over double the amount of blowouts I usually get. According to my data, normally I am around 20-30% blowouts in previous months, but of the 11 approaches I did today, a whopping 7 of them were blowouts (63%). Only got one girl that definitely "hooked" and gave me a phone number (of course, she happened to be mexican).

Not sure what this means yet, but as I continue to do some more daygame sessions over the course of the week that I am here I am curious to see if this pattern persists. It could be that daygame is harder in Spain overall, or that I am out of practice, or that I am doing something weird here specifically that is making more girls be unreceptive.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:15 pm

Day 3 in Madrid.

After the Day 1 in which my blowout rate was astronomical, and day 2 full of family issues and time zone adjusment, I had a day to myself in day 3 in which I did some work remotely and didnt have any family commitments. I decided to treat myself to dinner and go out - as soon as one steps foot outside in this city there are multitudes of attractive brunettes walking around.

Then what happens? Approach anxiety hits me big time. I didn't get out a single approach.

I know there is no quick and easy way to beat approach anxiety, but I think this time it was caused by several factors:
1.) The huge blowout rate in day 1, higher than at any time in my daygame career
2.) The fact that approaching in Spanish is different. I am fluent, but it requires translating all the openers/stacks I typically use and that puts me out of my comfort zone even more - this likely contributed the big blow out rate in Day 1
3.) Weather was cloudy with intermittent rain (a rare occurrence here).

AA is so silly. Even if you get blown out, there is literally zero risk to doing so. I think its a pre-programmed biological thing in which at some time in the past approaching women actually had risk involved - maybe competition from other males. This is no longer the case in modern society, and I really have to get over it. My goal before I leave this city is to get up to at least 30 approaches total. Friday is the last day I can accomplish this.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Tue Jul 30, 2019 7:34 pm

July is almost over, and I am back in the USA. Although I've been regularly screwing the Kazakh girl when at home, I've been traveling a lot, and my daygame stats for the month are abysmal. This month, I'm at 29 approaches and a measly three numbers (~10%), whereas in previous months I've been at an over 25% number close rate. I must be out of practice with all the work stuff and travel going on lately. But in general things are looking up, since I have a new job with what appears to be a much better company, and now a LOCAL girl I am regularly having sex with (as opposed to a far-away pen-pal that I only fuck sometimes when I travel to her or we travel together - though that arrangement does have its benefits). Now to try to INCREASE that number of local girls!

One of the number closes in Madrid is of note, because its a situation I run into sometimes of negative compliance when I ask a girl out. Below is a brief recap of what can happen:

Científico: Let's get a drink
Her: I don't drink alcohol


Here she shoots down my idea without offering an alternative - like I mentioned, this happened after one of my # closes on the street in Madrid and I was never able to get her out on the date before I left. I've occasionally run into this situation and it takes the momentum out of the entire conversation. I believe the best strategy to avoid this is to put out some kind of probing text - like fogs post in the tactics forum:

Científico: Are you a beer girl or a wine girl?
Her: I don't drink alcohol
Científico: It's okay, I know a perfect coffee place


Sometime to keep in mind perhaps.

One interesting thing that occurred yesterday - I ran into a girl at the grocery store I used to know years ago, who was friends with my ex before I dated her. It was one of those situations where I think both her and my ex were into me at the same time, and I ended up dating my ex over her. It was a friendly reunion and an easy number close. This could be a good chance to get with this girl now, after all these years - she responded to my icebreaker text within 2 hours. I will be sending out a scheduler text asking her out tomorrow (2 days post number close).

And tonight - a little bit of dancing to see if I can widen the sales funnel the old fashioned way :)
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Aug 04, 2019 8:16 pm

Posted this below on the main FR board for feedback ----

I've been doing a lot of cold approach lately - I love being the chooser of which women I interact with (vs. them choosing you on Tinder, etc), the spontaneous nature and the thrill of it. But I still struggle with the later stages of seduction. There are several "leap of faith" moments - from the initial approach, to the getting the phone number, to the kissing, to the invite back to the apartment, and then finally the physical escalation to sex.

Below are two instant dates from cold approach that happened this weekend, one yesterday and one today. I would love feedback on how I could have escalated better. I really think I need to just stop hesitating so much and pull the trigger more consistently with the invites back to my place.

1.) Cold approach on the street. She was wearing a black top and a white skirt, looking very nice. I walked up from behind her, passed her, then turned around and said hi (continuing to walk). Opened direct. Dialog was something like:

Científico: Hey there, can I say something random?
Her: Sure
Científico: I think you look very nice
Her: Thank you!
Científico: I noticed you were walking very slowly, like you are on vacation without a care in the world
Her: Yeah I'm visiting from (city nearby)
Científico: I bet you would rather be at the beach, drinking a cocktail (this is a line I'm starting to use often)
Her: Of course!
Científico: Are you here by yourself?
Her: Yeah
Científico: Well I'm heading to happy hour at abc place, want to come?
Her: Sure


And off we went. This was a happy hour in which people can practice different languages, so I knew full well the risks of taking a woman to a place like this (competition from other men). At first I took her to an isolated place in the bar and talked for about 30 minutes before we mingled with the rest of the group there. There were times that I left her on her own while other people talked to her (and I talked to others). However I was lucky, and no other guy decided to seriously go for her - we ended up at the bar organically talking about lots of subjects. Eventually I decided to move to another venue and she agreed.

Second venue is where I decided to go for the physical escalations, but she was pulling back and giving me resistance to any touching. This is where I knew things were likely going south - I had not/was not generating enough attraction, and nothing I did could turn this around.

It may simply be that I had the wrong choice of primary venue - a social event, instead of starting one on one from the get-go. It's natural for my mind to think that inviting a woman to a social event I was going to anyway seems natural, but in fact is the wrong approach for seduction where you are trying to isolate the girl. This is my current theory anyway, and there may have been other factors.

2.) Cold approach at whole foods today. I really wish I had recorded the dialogue from this one, because it would have been fantastic to analyze afterwards. I walk out with my groceries, and I notice a latina girl sitting inside the store looking outside at the sidewalk, eating fruit. We make eye contact and I continue walking. I hesitate, turn around, go back into the store and approach her. She was all smiles. Below is not the exact dialoque, but these things were said:

Científico: Hey there, how are you?
Her: Hi!
Científico: I just thought you looked cute, wanted to come say hi
Her: Wow, arent you bold
Científico: That is the rule, I see a girl I think is cute and I have to come talk to her
Her: Am I on camera right now? Are you Jeff Bezos?
Científico: No and no, hahaha


(As an aside, the Jeff Bezos comment was problably partially inspired due to my clean-shaven head).

At this point, the girl was clearly very intrigued by me. I find out she is 21, still in college, and lives with her family nearby. We talk about her life, what she is studying, where she has traveled, what she likes to dance, etc. I throw in some of my usual spikes, such as "I bet you are very straight edge, no boys, no parties - did you go to church today?", the standard respond to "do you always approach women like this" (yeah, you are number 3,726) and after she asks me how old I am "Too old for you".

Then I try to move her - she said she liked smoothies, so I say lets go get a smoothie nearby. She resists - she doesn't want to get off from her chair. Dialogue something like this:

Científico: Let's go, we can get a smoothie right here nearby. Strawberry and banana just like you like them
Her: I dont know...
Científico: Come on, it's literally right here inside the whole foods. Or how about a beer? ;)
Her: Definately not!
Her: I think I'll just chill right here...if we go, it might escalate, you might say let's get salad, or steak
Científico: I'm vegan, and no I wont let you seduce me


Looking back, that comment from her right then might have been a big green flag to do just that. But she was also physically resisting the attempt to move, even inside the whole foods. Eventually I grab her fruit and start walking to where the smoothies are, to which she gives out a *sigh* and says "fine - let's go".

I buy her a smoothie and one for myself, and while we are drinking them, we talk some more. Here is where I feel the conversation winding down and losing its flair - and I'm honestly not sure what to do. How do I escalate this? Then, her brothers call her on the phone - they would like for her to stop by the Wal-Mart and buy them something, according to her. My instinct is to take this as an excuse to end the interaction shortly afterwards, telling her to go do what she needs to do, and that I'll contact her later for some wine. She says okay, possibly with some slight disappointment in her voice. She has still not responded to my ice-breaker text.

For some reason, I just didn't pull the trigger on this one - this was possibly a green light for an invite home, especially with the favorable logistics (my place was within walking distance). I literally had nothing to lose but I failed to do it - my instinct in the moment for some reason still tells me its improper to do that so soon, and I probably need to re-program that belief ASAP.

Feedback on this is appreciated. Thanks all.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:49 am

Posting this as a reminder to myself this morning to always be "on" and ready to approach when out in public. I am tired of losing opportunities just because I am not in the "mood" or not ready.

Today it was 7:30 am, I had just finished my morning run and was out getting coffee and breakfast. At a street corner, a cute girl in a dress gave me a very subtle IOI. It was a look in my direction and a very slight smile. I noticed it, but I wasn't thinking about approaching - it took me too long to process and I hesitated.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Aug 12, 2019 8:31 pm

Things are definitely looking good these days. Every day I feel more settled in my new job (it appears this company is a much better fit for me), and things are going well with the Kazakh girl who I have a strong frame with - she always wants to have sex when at my place. My only concern is that things are going into the "boyfriend/girlfriend" dynamic with her sleeping over. I do not want to be exclusive with her, so the dynamic may indeed change if/when she decides to initiate "the talk" and I need to tell her I am not monogamous (but still care about her and sincerely wish she sticks around).

Meanwhile, I will meet up with my other Mexican lady-friend while in the San Diego/Tijuana region for work next week.

With all this travel I'm doing, coupled with the time I'm spending with Kazakh girl, I feel like the time to work on the sales funnel with new numbers/prospects has been dwindling. The main challenge is to make sure I have the energy to continue to go out and daygame, go out dancing, go to meetups and continue to get numbers and prospects to take out on dates.

This means stopping jerking off so much, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep.

Besides March of 2019 when I had 68 cold approaches, no other month has come close - time to shoot for at least 50 daygame approaches in one month. Should be a reachable goal for August (I'm at 10 so far, with a 50% # close rate and 2 instant dates), to then in September ramp it up even more.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Thu Aug 29, 2019 9:26 pm

Very busy with the new job, but actually found some time to do 6 day-game sets in my local neighborhood after my work was done for the day. Got one number from a cute young Ethiopian girl I stopped at a local mall.

This brings my total for August to 29 approaches - not nearly enough, but at least matches with July. I have a few more days to bring this number up.

Looking at the data, my number close rate since April almost every month since sits at about 26-27% - which is remarkably consistent, and is MORE than what I actually perceive my success to be. The only outlier is July, which is a measly 10% due to all the blowouts in Madrid that month. There was DEFINITELY a difference (for the worst) in my success there, which is really quite interesting. I'd love to daygame in Spanish in latin america at some point and see what happens.

The big problem is converting these numbers into dates. Part of the reason is lazyness on my part - I am too busy with work or travel, or I get too comfortable with the Kazakh girl, or I'm just too tired and decide to jerk off instead of following up. This behavior (especially the last point) needs to stop, and I need to increase my volume of quality approaches and leads. There is also the usual flake rate I have to deal with.

But overall, I am enjoying where things are going and I see some good things happening in the future. Being in sales means I get to sharpen my social skills, both to benefit my professional AND sexual life.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Tue Sep 03, 2019 9:20 pm

Life continues marching on now and my new busy work life in full swing. A couple of noteworthy things female-wise that must be documented here:

1.) Last night I went on a date with a girl I met at a fitness studio that is almost all women. These environments have always presented a conundrum for me, as they are very target-rich environments, but one as a man must be careful because any pickup attempt will be noticed by many other women there - triggering female state control, or whatever people are calling it - basically female coyness in the face of her peers. I wasn't even sure pickup is possible at such places, as I don't typically see much field reports from yoga/pilates/barre studios. One must be careful about attempting to ask a woman out (but also make a move when its required).

This particular woman, a short cute latina, was making her interest known in small but subtle ways (saying hi, other comments like "where have you been?" after I didn't come to classes, etc). I finally went for the phone number during a social outing at a bar in which some ladies from the studio were present (the environment was key for this perhaps?)

Once I had the number, it was smooth sailing getting her out on the date. She was very receptive via text, fast response to ice-breaker text, positive response to the standard scheduler text ("any day this week works for me"), a tiny bit of rapport and photo pings, some logistics the day of the date.

She shows up EXACTLY on time. Very open in conversation about the fact that it was a date, even getting some things out of the way early like "I absolutely dont want kids". I follow the standard two-venue date model in which I do some light verbal spikes at the first venue (for example, joking about taking her to Vegas to get married), then after the first round I switch to another venue, a rooftop lounge with nice african music, and try to spike it up physically.

I take her hand and ask about her accessories, looking for "secret husband" rings. She actually tells me to massage her hand because "it feels good"!! This is clearly a green light for escalation - she continues to make it easy for me.

Eventually I just go in for the kiss when there is a slight dull moment in the conversation. I don't even hesitate or give her any indication that it was coming. It catches her off guard, and yet, I could tell she was attracted by it (Ive seen other women react to this positively before, two examples come to mind from my history). In this case she expresses it verbally - "That was bold - I like it".

We continue to hold hands, talk, and kiss lightly one more time. Eventually she says "I have to go soon - I must walk my dog, and I have to meet colleagues at 7:30 am tomorrow morning."

Even though its only around 9 - 9:30 pm, I make a mental decision not to attempt the bounce-back home. Perhaps this was a mistake, but it didn't seem appropriate given her time constraint. Or, maybe she wanted the bounceback, and I failed to capitalize. Women are weird like that. I have to learn to go for it even when it doesn't seem timely or appropriate, and if I fail to get the lay with this girl it will be a lesson learned.

Instead I tell her I'll walk her back to her car, then ask her to drive me back 3 min (I live less than one km away), and once she drops me off she initiates another kiss that lasts about 10-15 seconds.

Seems like its going well with this one, and I will certainly try to seal the deal on date #2. I have positive expectations although one never knows with women for sure. Today there was no texting, but I will send another photo ping tomorrow morning and keep some slight rapport going. Unlikely I will get to see this one again until after September 15th due to some work travel. Which leads me to the next note-worthy event...



2.) Yesterday morning, I was walking towards the bus stop to take a bus to another neighboring town. I immediately spot this STUNNING looking black woman in workout leggings waiting for the bus, and I immediately think "must approach". What was incredible about her was the lower half, that was clearly shown off by what she was wearing.

I decide to wait until the bus arrives, get on right behind her and take a seat intentionally next to her. Then I open with a standard "how is your Labor Day". She responds warmly. I find out she is a personal trainer and sees clients at many gyms in the area (hence, how fit she was). I close with the usual "are you a beer girl or a wine girl?" line, get her number telling her we will get some wine when she available. Soon after I get her number she receives a phone call she tells me she must take, so the rest of the bus ride she was on the phone (GOOD THING I OPENED RIGHT AWAY).

After we get off, she turns to me, says "I'll see you soon?" and I get her name (which I didnt get from the earlier convo), and then say "of course, have a great labor day", which she follows with "you too".

Lo and behold, not even an hour later I receive an ice breaker text FROM HER (highly unusual).

Personal Trainer Hottie (PTH): "My name is PTH. And it was a pleasure to meet you"


I wait four-five hours, then send:

Científico: Absolutely, hope it's going well with the clients today
Científico: *Send coffee mug photo ping, with my name on it and the view from the balcony*
Científico: Finally coffee time


What follows next almost blew my mind

PTH: Coffee time is my favorite time :)
PTH: Do you mind sending me a picture?
Científico: Picture of what *angel face emoji*
PTH: Your handsome face *face and hearts emoji*


Damn, I've never encountered a woman this confident before.

Científico: Even better is to see it again in person. When are you free this week for that drink we discussed?
PTH: I am available this week. What day is good for you?
Científico: Tomorrow night or Thursday - which is your favorite?

*long pause, almost 24 hours*

PTH: omg!!! I am so sorry I thought I hit send...Friday is better for me. I work late both of days
Científico: bad girl, -2 points ;)
Científico: Hope you had a good labor day, I actually travel Friday - Sunday this week, so unfortunately I'm not available. What time are you off on Thursday?
PTH: I get off at 7 pm but will be in xyz town (20 min away) at that time.
Científico: Not bad, want to meet up in (my town) 9ish?
PTH: That's way too late, I'm a personal trainer and my day starts at 4 am. And at 9 pm I am sleepy.


The convo goes on a little bit from there, but as you can see it looks like unfortunately we are at a conflict with schedules not aligning. My work schedule (and a personal trip) is taking me out of town most of the next two weeks thus it will be difficult to see this woman until after September 15. I will send some photo pings here and there to attempt to keep it "hot" until then, and we'll see what transpires in a few weeks.



Bottom line - approaching woman in the field works. Cold approach, or semi-warm at bars, is way better than Tinder. These two experiences come after swallowing many many rejections, but in the end they dont matter. And that is what is great about it. To be blunt, the two-week++ time period I have to wait until seeing either of these two women again worries me - but nothing I can do about that but continue to approach and increase that "pipeline". It is the only way to keep emotions in check and look at every opportunity that comes along rationally.
Científico


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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Wed Sep 04, 2019 6:22 pm

It's funny, I can feel myself becoming way too invested in these two leads. The personal trainer sent me a picture and she is stunning, as hot as I remember when I got her number at the bus. The other gym girl is also pinging me back happily. I am upset that I will be traveling this weekend instead of going on dates with these two hotties.

But what can I do? The trip is already booked, and they already know about it. Until then its a delicate balance of sending some texts to keep them warm, but not overdoing it and making mistakes. Personally I hate texting and I only like to use it to set up dates.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sun Sep 08, 2019 10:28 pm

Not in the mood to write a long post, but will jot some things down.

1.) Highlight - I had another instant date at an airport happen on Friday. I approach this young cutie who had a smile on her face on the escalators leading up to the terminal, after we make brief eye contact. Opened with something like "you look happy tonight". A few minutes later we were going to get drinks together. She was bright, bubbly, sharp and full of wit. 90 minutes after that I was kissing her. Then after we departed and got on our seperate planes she was sending me seductive photos.

We have been whatsapping since. I hope to get this one straight with the "let's cook dinner at my place" date, but of course has to wait till after September 15th.

2.) I have a hunch that I fucked up the gym girl opportunity, the nice date I had on Monday, with ONE text. See below exchange from Wednesday:

**Chatter about unrelated subject***
Científico: So just FYI - not only am I out this weekend, but my company is sending me to Madison WI September 11-15.
Científico: Sorry *angel face emoji*
Gym Girl: It's all good, totally understand the whole being busy thing :)
Científico: Good girl. You get +2 points


No response after that, and I regretted sending it within minutes. The imaginary points system is something I take from Tom Torero sometimes, who mostly has outstanding material, however - this one sometimes rubs girls the wrong way if not delivered at appropriate times or to the right girl. Especially the ones that are "7s" or below, like this one.

I got back from my travel tonight and attempted to call so she could hear my voice and I could keep this lead warm, 2 rings (bad sign) then went to voicemail. Left the text message:

Wanted to give you a call and touch base. Hope you had a great week.


If she doesn't respond to this tomorrow, it likely means the text DID rub her the wrong way, and we'll see if/how I can recover.

3.) Similarly, I tried calling the personal trainer. Her phone rang the full 5-6 times then went to voicemail. No surprise here, she appears to be telling the truth about her schedule based on her communication patterns. I expect a text from her tomorrow most likely.

4.) My Mexican lady friend, who I met months back, lives in Mexico, and has a remote relationship with me, is starting to get clingy and question my activities/lack of immediate responses. It will likely be time for "the talk" soon with her.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Sep 09, 2019 4:11 pm

Contrary to my fears, the gym girl did respond, as did the personal trainer (with another hot selfie). So I guess I'm still in the running with all these ladies. Sucks that I have to wait another week or so before starting to schedule more dates.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Alchemy32osp » Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:22 am

Read a few of your latest posts in this journal. I'm right with you on cutting out jerking off. Also, Buenos Aires is a great city as far as South America goes for cold approach as a gringo, speaking from experience.

Question: what's the photo pinging thing you mention?

Best of luck with the 2 gym & personal trainer girls. Keep hustling mate!
Alchemy: transforming suffering into love.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Sep 14, 2019 3:37 pm

Alchemy,

Really appreciate the comment - I am glad others are reading my journal and hope it provides some motivation.

Buenos Aires is a great city as far as South America goes for cold approach as a gringo, speaking from experience.


I have never been to south america, but cant wait to travel there for a few weeks and daygame, especially in places like Colombia, Ecuador, Chile, or Argentina. Thankfully I am NOT a gringo and can speak fluent Spanish ;)

Question: what's the photo pinging thing you mention?


Regular text messages are boring. I like to spice things up with photos of something interesting I have seen, especially during my travels. Sometimes it will be me next to some landmark, to remind the girl what I look like.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Sat Sep 14, 2019 3:56 pm

I am travelling in the midwest this weekend for my job - tried my hand at some night game last night, even though I do not care for it, because I had absolutely NO time for daygame yesterday. It was a real shame.

Went into a whiskey bar first and approached some groups by the bar. Did get the number of a cute short blonde girl that was displaying some signs of interest (extended eye contact, even across the room). She initially resisted with "I'm dating someone" but I countered with the usual anti-boyfriend lines and she put her number into my phone.

I then bar-hopped for a bit, finding nothing of particular interest, until I found a place that was more my scene with some latin music and did some dancefloor game. One of the reasons I really do not care for night game is the transient nature of the interactions - you can have very very fast escalations, but suddenly it's over when her friends pull her away or she simply disappears. This happened 3-4 times with 3-4 different girls, even with one that was dancing very sexy with me and putting her mouth very close to mine (I resisted the temptation to kiss). Finally I danced with a mexican girl whose number I got before she left, but I dont expect much from either of the numbers I got last night to be honest.

I much prefer daygame. It's actually higher throughput and you can make many approaches in a short time, if you completely conquer the Approach Anxiety (AA). And that is the crucial point. Part of the inspiration for me writing this today is the fact that I am still missing approaches because of temporary paralysis from AA. There were two good ones today (both girls made eye contact) I should have made but I didn't. I am better than I used to be for sure. But I need to continue improving, to the point that I consistently approach every time I see an attractive woman on the street. Anything else is missing opportunities.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Alchemy32osp » Sat Sep 14, 2019 5:40 pm

Okay, gotcha about the sending interesting photos to maintain the interaction between meet ups. Thanks for the explanation!

Thankfully I am NOT a gringo and can speak fluent Spanish ;)

Oh then you are gonna be hella smoother than I was down there lol! My bad for assuming.

I much prefer daygame. It's actually higher throughput and you can make many approaches in a short time, if you completely conquer the Approach Anxiety (AA). And that is the crucial point. Part of the inspiration for me writing this today is the fact that I am still missing approaches because of temporary paralysis from AA. There were two good ones today (both girls made eye contact) I should have made but I didn't. I am better than I used to be for sure. But I need to continue improving, to the point that I consistently approach every time I see an attractive woman on the street. Anything else is missing opportunities.

I 100% feel you on this.
Alchemy: transforming suffering into love.
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Re: Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Postby Científico » Mon Sep 16, 2019 8:16 pm

I’m back in my normal territory now after this Midwest travel, which unfortunately was not very productive female-wise. My schedule was packed with work and the only time I had to cold approach was when I was running in between appointments, and otherwise I was working, working out, eating or sleeping (all important priorities). Aside from the night game, I problably did something like 5-6 cold approaches total when I was in Wisconsin.

Now that I’m back, it’s been time to play catch up and see if I can get these ladies out on dates. These are:

1.) the Newyorican gym girl
2.) the personal trainer
3.) the airport terminal girl

I already know the answer to #1, and it reveals the mistake I made on date #1.

I send her the following text:

hey x, hope you had an excellent Monday. I’m finally back this week and not traveling again for a while (gracias al cielo). Let’s grab some food this week - what day is good for you?


Her response is long, starts with chit chat about her job and having no free time, then:

I would love to grab dinner when I’m not so busy, but I also want to preface by saying that I had a good time hanging out with you last time, but I’m going to have to insist that it’s on a strictly friend basis, nothing more. Past week and a half have been pretty intense with personal stuff and I need to focus on myself and not get distracted with anything that could be potentially romantic. Hope that’s okay


Whoa! Looks like my instinct was correct, and it solidifies the lesson I’ve learned several times before - always move fast and always go for sex on the first date. Instead of doing this, I acted way too much like a boyfriend by kissing her, holding her hand and NOT escalating and it scared her. It’s almost amazing that I continue to make this mistake after making it occasionally for years, but hopefully this time it will sink in and I won’t do this again.

After processing this, I briefly consulted some girlschase articles on this subject - Chase always says to bail when this happens since it’s a difficult hole to climb out of. Thus, In response I treated it like a shit test and agreed and amplified, telling her

Sounds good - you might be disappointed, but I’m a terrible boyfriend anyway. I hate long walks on the beach, chocolates, and romantic poems. The guy your mom warned you about. You are very smart to stay away :D


I don’t expect a response, but that might keep her wondering.

Still working on #2 and #3, will have updates soon.
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