- Joined
- Nov 20, 2012
- Messages
- 161
I liked Franco's self introduction so much, I decided to make one myself. Maybe others will as well. I'll be posting a lot of my FR's over the next couple of weeks, and I think it's important for people to have an idea of who exactly is going through these interactions, as it may help to put some of the things that happen into context. At any rate:
I'm 32, average height, average looks, and I have a thin, athletic build. Also, I'm brown--or to use the PC term: African American. I'm currently living in Shanghai--this is why my FR's will involve women from all over the place. Oh, and I'm somewhat socially retarded. Somehow, I just never developed high social awareness or EQ, so almost everything on GC is completely new to me.
I discovered GC at quite a low point in my life. It turned out my ex-wife had very different goals in life than I'd thought at first (and she realized the same about me), and our relationship of 7 years decayed and then fell apart as a result. Since I'd made the classic mistake of making my relationship/marriage the center of my life, the rest of my life started to fall apart with it. I was quite depressed, lost interest in doing just about anything, and got pretty self destructive. I started smoking, I would get stupid drunk and then run for miles at night, feel horrible and then waste the next day away.
My wife and I got divorced. I moved out, and decided to live on my own for the first time in my life--rather than with siblings, a girlfriend, or room mate as I'd always done. I also decided that rather than jumping directly into the next available relationship (as I'd always done), I would start dating lots of women.
The one problem was, I had no idea of how to go about it. I met a few girls (see my FR's to come), but managed to screw it up each time. Things went on like this until I met one particular girl who was simply amazing (or at least I thought she was). Through sheer luck and circumstance, I managed to make a lot of headway with her, despite fumbling, bumbling moves the entire way. Things progressed, but I had no idea what I was doing (both in a PU sense and with my life in general) and she slipped right through my fingers.
I was furious at myself as I watched our relationship decay into "mere friendship", "helpful/needy/tryhard guy" and then "no contact", all while powerless to stop it. I even started obsessing a bit, I couldn't get the girl out of my head. But then I just admitted that it was over--and realized that I never, ever wanted that to happen to me again. I got serious about figuring out what had gone wrong, and what I might have done differently, and that's when I came across GC.
The most interesting thing about GC was realizing that the root of my problem wasn't my "game" at all, but me. Being successful with women was less about changing my lines or my hairstyle, and more about changing myself, on a fundamental level, into the kind of man that women desire--that is, a strong, confident man with a clear direction, who is in control of all aspects of his life, including his romantic life. I've been reorganizing and re-prioritizing, reading the blog assiduously, and now participating on this forum to do just that. I'm looking forward to sharing my experiences with you all.
-AFCnoob
I'm 32, average height, average looks, and I have a thin, athletic build. Also, I'm brown--or to use the PC term: African American. I'm currently living in Shanghai--this is why my FR's will involve women from all over the place. Oh, and I'm somewhat socially retarded. Somehow, I just never developed high social awareness or EQ, so almost everything on GC is completely new to me.
I discovered GC at quite a low point in my life. It turned out my ex-wife had very different goals in life than I'd thought at first (and she realized the same about me), and our relationship of 7 years decayed and then fell apart as a result. Since I'd made the classic mistake of making my relationship/marriage the center of my life, the rest of my life started to fall apart with it. I was quite depressed, lost interest in doing just about anything, and got pretty self destructive. I started smoking, I would get stupid drunk and then run for miles at night, feel horrible and then waste the next day away.
My wife and I got divorced. I moved out, and decided to live on my own for the first time in my life--rather than with siblings, a girlfriend, or room mate as I'd always done. I also decided that rather than jumping directly into the next available relationship (as I'd always done), I would start dating lots of women.
The one problem was, I had no idea of how to go about it. I met a few girls (see my FR's to come), but managed to screw it up each time. Things went on like this until I met one particular girl who was simply amazing (or at least I thought she was). Through sheer luck and circumstance, I managed to make a lot of headway with her, despite fumbling, bumbling moves the entire way. Things progressed, but I had no idea what I was doing (both in a PU sense and with my life in general) and she slipped right through my fingers.
I was furious at myself as I watched our relationship decay into "mere friendship", "helpful/needy/tryhard guy" and then "no contact", all while powerless to stop it. I even started obsessing a bit, I couldn't get the girl out of my head. But then I just admitted that it was over--and realized that I never, ever wanted that to happen to me again. I got serious about figuring out what had gone wrong, and what I might have done differently, and that's when I came across GC.
The most interesting thing about GC was realizing that the root of my problem wasn't my "game" at all, but me. Being successful with women was less about changing my lines or my hairstyle, and more about changing myself, on a fundamental level, into the kind of man that women desire--that is, a strong, confident man with a clear direction, who is in control of all aspects of his life, including his romantic life. I've been reorganizing and re-prioritizing, reading the blog assiduously, and now participating on this forum to do just that. I'm looking forward to sharing my experiences with you all.
-AFCnoob
