possibly sticky situation

[Anonymous]

Real simple question for always a complex situation.

well this girl is 18 and im 20 male.

anyway i slept with this one girl the other night, twice. she was my friends girlfriends buddy so its a same social circle girl. shes real into me and I am fairly into her. the problem here is she has been dating someone over sees, and from the looks of it, she wants to end it.

the question here is should i just not even mention the boyfriend thing, and just hang out with her. Things may work out naturally, but they may not.
or should I be assertive in this situation and tell her if you are going to continue this you need to end it with your boyfriend.

Morally the second option is better, but still shes cheating on the guy which sorta says fuck morals. Either way the situation isn't ideal.

the overall goal here is to be in a relationship with this girl.

 

[Franco]

Hey tastycake,

There's really no reason to put any blame on her for wanting to sleep with another man. Hey boyfriend/"guy she's dating" is overseas... that is a done deal. They probably should not be in a monogamous relationship if they cannot see each other at least once a month. A girl wants her needs satisfied -- just like any guy does.

Also, you should never put any pressure on a girl to see and/or not see a guy. It makes you come across as not only needy but manipulative and controlling. You're already sleeping with her, so your best bet is to just keep doing that (without putting pressure on her) so she can make the decision on her own. Chances are, if she continues sleeping with you, she will eventually cut ties with the other guy.

For more information on why I have this stance, check out the following two extremely insightful articles:

Girl Has a Boyfriend? 3 Things to do and 7 Things not to do
How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend

- Franco