How to deal with people who stare?

[gameboy]

Just happened to me again. I was walking along the beach, looking for girls to talk to, and this woman (in her 50s or 60s i guess) was just standing there and staring at me, looking me right in the eye for several seconds.

I find this highly disrespectful, and what's worse, it affects my mood.

I was dressed casually, white T shirt, black pants, and sneakers. I may look a bit rugged because i have a beard and usually wear a cap, but it"s not that I'm trying to come across scary or anything.

Also, another girl that i came across today and that I was considering to approach, when I got close I think she grabbed her handbag. This also seems to happen a lot.

I have to add that I am in a country where pickpockets are quite common, and I myself am wary when I see a man walk around that comes close to me or my stuff.

Anyone have a similar experience? What do you do to not let this kind of stuff affect your vibe?

 

[Tim Iron]

If you groom yourself properly and dress a lot better, you will no longer have that kind of thing to worry about.

 

[Kaida]

Read this:

Creep/Trust Spectrum and the NUT Model

Why do girls trust some men yet feel uncomfortable with others? The answer lies in NUT: a way of comprehending how creepy or trustworthy someone will be. Recently, I’ve done a lot of study of people’s experiences with stalkers, murderers, rapists (real rapists… you know, the gunpoint /...

www.girlschase.com

 

[gameboy]

If you groom yourself properly and dress a lot better, you will no longer have that kind of thing to worry about.

I think I was properly groomed, beard was short and well kempt, head shaved clean yesterday, and I was recently showered and clean.

As for dressing better, I could probably wear a white button-down shirt on the beach, but anything else would be overkill. It's not a wedding party after all...

Also, the particular t-shirt I was wearing today has a print on it that got me compliments from 2 women on 2 different occasions. One young and one older.

It might be the cap though, I'm not 100% happy with the cap but haven't managed to find a better one so far. Most hats I tried on were too small for my head unfortunately.

Of course I could dress up like an investment banker but then I'd look seriously overdressed for the target group of girls that I like to flirt with

But what I actually think is the main issue: Lone males walking along the beach just cause mistrust in general. After all people don't know if I'm looking to meet girls, or if I'm a thief trying to steal their wallet...

 

[gameboy]

Read this:

Creep/Trust Spectrum and the NUT Model

Why do girls trust some men yet feel uncomfortable with others? The answer lies in NUT: a way of comprehending how creepy or trustworthy someone will be. Recently, I’ve done a lot of study of people’s experiences with stalkers, murderers, rapists (real rapists… you know, the gunpoint /...

www.girlschase.com

Thanks, great article. I had read it before but just re-read it. I do go out of my way to come across non-threatening, and most girls I actually open react pretty well. But I guess one can't make it right for everyone...

 

[Tim Iron]

I think I was properly groomed, beard was short and well kempt, head shaved clean yesterday, and I was recently showered and clean.

As for dressing better, I could probably wear a white button-down shirt on the beach, but anything else would be overkill. It's not a wedding party after all...

Also, the particular t-shirt I was wearing today has a print on it that got me compliments from 2 women on 2 different occasions. One young and one older.

It might be the cap though, I'm not 100% happy with the cap but haven't managed to find a better one so far. Most hats I tried on were too small for my head unfortunately.

Of course I could dress up like an investment banker but then I'd look seriously overdressed for the target group of girls that I like to flirt with

But what I actually think is the main issue: Lone males walking along the beach just cause mistrust in general. After all people don't know if I'm looking to meet girls, or if I'm a thief trying to steal their wallet...

Well, all I can say is put on a light smile, feel and act relaxed, don't look at them staring if you aren't interested in approaching and finally assume that they are attracted to you, so that's why they are staring. After all you can't ask them to stop staring.

 

[gameboy]

Well, all I can say is put on a light smile, feel and act relaxed, don't look at them staring if you aren't interested in approaching and finally assume that they are attracted to you, so that's why they are staring. After all you can't ask them to stop staring.

Thank you!

Today, I was seriously tempted to call out this woman as I found her so rude. But of course that would have been super conuter productive.

Yes, smiling and assuming attraction. That's awesome advice! Gonna give it a go

 

[Bo Diddley]

OP, it was a 50-60 year old woman. They are called "Karens" for a reason. Forget about it and carry on.

Just make sure you don't look like a gypsy and you'll be fine.