How Should You Transition From Doing Seduction To BEING SEDUCTIVE

Jeff

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As usual, my question is primarily for @Chase @Hector Papi Castillo, Alek, and all the other pros on GC for whom I have immense respect.

So, before anything else - thank you for all the wisdom.

I put up a post recently about getting past the Player's Plateau as an intermediate.

Chase was kind enough to give me some advice, and I'm working on it.

Anyway, my question today is about being seductive -

I have a friend who's been hitting the field for over 10 years.

Dude's a pro - having racked up easily over 500 lays, and between 100-150 in 2019.

Recently, he told me he moved to a new house (in Delhi, India where he's living) and there's a girl on the first floor (while he's on the fourth).

He ran into her while moving some stuff and all he did was have a 2 minute back and forth with the girl without doing anything fancy, and she was ON him - suggesting they should catch up, party, get a drink, etc.

...all the while being married, with her husband downstairs in the house they're sharing.

I was curious as to what he did to elicit such desire.

So far -

- I've been able to turn girls on
- Have them tell me I'm different from other guys
- Have girls tell me I'm the best flirt they've met
- Thank me for going up to them

However, I haven't been able to exactly inspire desire the way my friend does regularly.

By that, I mean -

- Girls text him as opposed to him having to do all the work (of course he texts them, but he barely has to do anything)
- Falling all over him in the club within a few minutes of meeting
- Girls throwing attraction signals at him (like the time he was dancing at a dance workshop and everyone wanted to know who he was)

I, on the other hand, still have work way too hard, probably relying on my verbals a lot more than he does.

You know how Zan Perrion talks about being the guy the girl fantasizes about in the shower, while laying in bed, or looking out the window?

I don't think I've been that guy for most women. Probably one or two tops.

I suppose it has to do with focusing on non-verbals and following the law of least effort.

So I've been trying to follow whatever Chase has mentioned in the "Law of least effort" and "Sprezzatura" articles.

Besides that, what can I do to become a lot more charismatic and magnetic?

If there's a product for this, I shall save up for it and pick it up as soon as I can, (as I did One Date).

Meanwhile, if there's something I can work on immediately, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks again to everyone at GC.

~Aashish

P.S: If this topic has been discussed earlier, feel free to share the link to that discussion so that you guys don't have to waste your time. I just wasn't able to find it.
 
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Surveyor

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However, I haven't been able to exactly inspire desire the way my friend does regularly.
Seconded.
I, on the other hand, still have work way too hard, probably relying on my verbals a lot more than he does.
Maybe consider practicing not using direct verbals, and using subcommunication. I had no choice up to now, and even to some extent going forward, due to my rules of engagement requiring public behavior congruent with my sincere religiosity.
You know how Zan Perrion talks about being the guy the girl fantasizes about in the shower, while laying in bed, or looking out the window?
I'm actually starting to read his stuff right now after hearing about him on the boards and it's AMAZING.
Basically Perrion is to seduction as Mark Manson is to the rest of being a real man.
 

Wick

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One of the best things I’ve done for myself is read a few erotic novels. It’s basically very detailed sexual female fantasy, and i think it would give you a few ah-ha moments.

As for your question in general, I think that level of “being seductive” is similar to a state of unconscious competence, if you’re familiar with that model of skill building. Like you said, he’s very experienced and so he probably does a lot of good things on autopilot.
 

DarkKnight

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Dude's a pro - having racked up easily over 500 lays, and between 100-150 in 2019.
So.. Im going to be a bit sceptical over here. 100-150, in one year? So he fucks a different girl every 2/3 days? Doesn't need any downtime? Has an extreme abundance of time as well?

Look man we now have three posts already about instagram, andrew tate or whatever his name is, another post about rich people/instagram influencers and now your supersexual friend who spreads his seed left and right by just being present. Im a high fundamentals guy but your story sounds a bit too good to be true. If your friend is super attractive this still is not a magic bullet as girls can get very shy and you have to deal with a host of attainability problems. There are also bound to be social frame issues, or how about girls avoiding proximity because they find you to be too hot? Something is off about this entire post and it reeks of mental masturbation.

Also isn't India supposed to be a conservative country?
 
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Surveyor

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So.. Im going to be a bit skeptical over here. 100-150, in one year? So he fucks a different girl every 2/3 days? Doesn't need any downtime? Has an extreme abundance of time as well?
~85% of statistics are exaggerated. Doesn't mean the substance isn't true.
Look man we now have three posts already about instagram, andrew tate or whatever his name is, another post about rich people/instagram influencers and now your supersexual friend who spreads his seed left and right by just being present. Im a high fundamentals guy but your story sounds a bit too good to be true. If your friend is super attractive this still is not a magic bullet as girls can get very shy and you have to deal with a host of attainability problems. There are also bound to be social frame issues, or how about girls avoiding proximity because they find you to be too hot? Something is off about this entire post...
Some of this might be due to the fact that Indians, as a culture, tend to communicate differently, especially in writing and in English.

Nothin' wrong with a little skepticism, but I think it's best to assume good faith.
and it reeks of mental masturbation.
A common enough problem around here. Doesn't indicate bad faith.
Also isn't India supposed to be a conservative country?
That has absolutely nothing to do with anything unless we're talking Saudi Arabia level restrictions.
(Even then, we all know what really goes on in private under such regimes. Lots of virgins doing anal, homoerotic behavior and pederasty, and unhappy married women having highly illicit affairs.)

The US is a conservative country by European standards. And India today is not much different from the US in most of the 20th century as far as the average cultural mores.

Because I'm feeling frisky (see journal), fun fact: As late as the 1970s, in Indian English the term "to make love" retained its original Jane Austen/Sherlock Holmes meaning.
 

DarkKnight

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Some of this might be due to the fact that Indians, as a culture, tend to communicate differently, especially in writing and in English.
No dude, the stats he mentions are cause for scepticism, I highly doubt different kind of communication styles also involve differences in numbers.

but I think it's best to assume good faith.
You can assume good faith, I however am sceptical due to trolls we have experienced before you joined the boards ;)

(Even then, we all know what really goes on in private under such regimes. Lots of virgins doing anal, homoerotic behavior and pederasty, and unhappy married women having highly illicit affairs.)
Nobody denies this, but the ease with which his friend apparently gets laid does not add up with a conservative country. The ease and the stats and the pedestalizing combination of instagram and his super seducer friend is cause for scepticism. Perhaps you agree, perhaps you do not.
 

Surveyor

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I highly doubt different kind of communication styles also involve differences in numbers.
Eh, you'd be surprised.

But yeah, ^^ was my default open/non-judgmental mindset reacting. I hear you.
You can assume good faith, I however am sceptical due to trolls we have experienced before you joined the boards ;)
I would love to hear an oral history of the Indian Race Troll 😂
 

Jeff

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So.. Im going to be a bit sceptical over here. 100-150, in one year? So he fucks a different girl every 2/3 days? Doesn't need any downtime? Has an extreme abundance of time as well?

Look man we now have three posts already about instagram, andrew tate or whatever his name is, another post about rich people/instagram influencers and now your supersexual friend who spreads his seed left and right by just being present. Im a high fundamentals guy but your story sounds a bit too good to be true. If your friend is super attractive this still is not a magic bullet as girls can get very shy and you have to deal with a host of attainability problems. There are also bound to be social frame issues, or how about girls avoiding proximity because they find you to be too hot? Something is off about this entire post and it reeks of mental masturbation.

Also isn't India supposed to be a conservative country?
The last thing I'm about is mental masturbation.

In 2019, he did go nuts - pulling 1-3 every week especially from NG.

India may be a conservative country but you'd be shocked by how much sex actually happens especially in metro cities.

I'm not exaggerating anything dude
 

Will_V

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He ran into her while moving some stuff and all he did was have a 2 minute back and forth with the girl without doing anything fancy, and she was ON him - suggesting they should catch up, party, get a drink, etc.

...all the while being married, with her husband downstairs in the house they're sharing.

I was curious as to what he did to elicit such desire.

Did you ask him?

Do you have some ideas? Have you seen him get this reaction at other times?

The best way to analyze something you don't understand is to observe all the details whenever it occurs, and try to piece all the information together into a principle. There is no real information in your description, so you cannot begin to come up with any principles.

The art of being seductive is not a simple thing to understand or communicate, but I think the best place to start is to try to look at it through her experience, not yours. Instead of thinking about all the things you do to be more seductive, as if you are your friend observing yourself, think of what she experiences when you do those things, what they evoke inside the reality she lives in - the one she really lives in, not the politically correct one.

Sometimes it's very hard to do, but even a small intuition can develop into a strong effect.
 

moom

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It’s vibe, presence, the way you conduct yourself, the very fiber of who you are.

I’ve read the alabaster girl by Zan Perrion a few times now cover to cover- one of the best way to become seductive in my opinion is to think of a seductive archetype you resonate with and try to become them.

Think, “how would he react to this?”
“how would he walk?”
“how would he look at her?”
“how would he tease her?”
“what would he do in this situation?”

Try and become that archetype in all aspects of your life, not just around women. The of course, work heavily on your own fundementals.

I set an archetype for myself between Hank Moody and Zan Perrion along time ago (maybe 8 years ago?)

Throughout the years ive adjusted everything from my mannerisms, to clothing, to perspectives with those archetypes in mind. (The way a great actor does in preparing for a role).

Overtime, I’d say im now a mix between harvey spectar from suits, hank moody, and zan perrion. And I’m definitely much more seductive than I used to be
 

Jeff

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Did you ask him?

Do you have some ideas? Have you seen him get this reaction at other times?

The best way to analyze something you don't understand is to observe all the details whenever it occurs, and try to piece all the information together into a principle. There is no real information in your description, so you cannot begin to come up with any principles.

The art of being seductive is not a simple thing to understand or communicate, but I think the best place to start is to try to look at it through her experience, not yours. Instead of thinking about all the things you do to be more seductive, as if you are your friend observing yourself, think of what she experiences when you do those things, what they evoke inside the reality she lives in - the one she really lives in, not the politically correct one.

Sometimes it's very hard to do, but even a small intuition can develop into a strong effect.

I did ask him. His answer was basically non verbals.

While he has great game, breaking it down is a whole different story.

No one breaks things down like @Chase

Which is why I posted it here.
 

Jeff

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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It’s vibe, presence, the way you conduct yourself, the very fiber of who you are.

I’ve read the alabaster girl by Zan Perrion a few times now cover to cover- one of the best way to become seductive in my opinion is to think of a seductive archetype you resonate with and try to become them.

Think, “how would he react to this?”
“how would he walk?”
“how would he look at her?”
“how would he tease her?”
“what would he do in this situation?”

Try and become that archetype in all aspects of your life, not just around women. The of course, work heavily on your own fundementals.

I set an archetype for myself between Hank Moody and Zan Perrion along time ago (maybe 8 years ago?)

Throughout the years ive adjusted everything from my mannerisms, to clothing, to perspectives with those archetypes in mind. (The way a great actor does in preparing for a role).

Overtime, I’d say im now a mix between harvey spectar from suits, hank moody, and zan perrion. And I’m definitely much more seductive than I used to be

It’s vibe, presence, the way you conduct yourself, the very fiber of who you are.

I’ve read the alabaster girl by Zan Perrion a few times now cover to cover- one of the best way to become seductive in my opinion is to think of a seductive archetype you resonate with and try to become them.

Think, “how would he react to this?”
“how would he walk?”
“how would he look at her?”
“how would he tease her?”
“what would he do in this situation?”

Try and become that archetype in all aspects of your life, not just around women. The of course, work heavily on your own fundementals.

I set an archetype for myself between Hank Moody and Zan Perrion along time ago (maybe 8 years ago?)

Throughout the years ive adjusted everything from my mannerisms, to clothing, to perspectives with those archetypes in mind. (The way a great actor does in preparing for a role).

Overtime, I’d say im now a mix between harvey spectar from suits, hank moody, and zan perrion. And I’m definitely much more seductive than I used to be

Yup, working on that. Have a a few characters/archetypes in mind.

Thanks for the suggestion.
 

Surveyor

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Seconded.

Maybe consider practicing not using direct verbals, and using subcommunication. I had no choice up to now, and even to some extent going forward, due to my rules of engagement requiring public behavior congruent with my sincere religiosity.

I'm actually starting to read his stuff right now after hearing about him on the boards and it's AMAZING.
Basically Perrion is to seduction as Mark Manson is to the rest of being a real man.
This post just got liked despite being over a year old so I just wanted to say with the benefit of hindsight…

There’s a difference between “being” and “acting”.

With the benefit of a little more field experience, I can tell you that some naturals rely “too much” on verbals, and sometimes…lack finesse with them. This works as screening game but it mostly forgoes the possibility of “inspiring desire”.
 

Chase

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@Jeff,

If he's anything like the super seductive guys I've known, I'll bet you can just feel it when you're with him.

He sits down and gazes into your eyes and you can feel the sexuality oozing out of his pores. You're not even into dudes but you can still feel it. It's just on him.

Usually it's going to be a mix of eye contact, facial expression, body language, voice tone, proximity, gestures, and scent. Picture:

  • Manly musk
  • Strong, seductive eye contact
  • Mischievous sexy smile
  • Rumbly sexy purring voice
  • Mannerisms that suggest he's off in a sort of semi-sexual dream state himself
  • Close physical proximity to her with "get close, move away, get close again" push-pull built into it (body rocking)
  • Warm, comfortable touch with her as if she's already his girlfriend right from the get-go

She can tell he's a sexual guy, who is thinking about her in a sexual way, without him letting it on directly, and without him committing to doing anything or saying he will do anything. So he's sexy, but attainable, but not TOO attainable. Drives girls nuts.

At the more meta level, seducers tend to develop this after a certain level of experience... it's basically Pavlovian conditioning. A guy has enough positive experiences quickly picking up and shagging girls of her type that when he meets girls like her he instantly switches into a sexual state, starts getting turned on, etc., and projects it via emotional contagion. Guys who've banged a lot of different kinds of girls, and fast, will tend to get it with just about any type of girl... of course it isn't guaranteed she'll react well. Some chicks who aren't on the prowl at all will get flustered at a guy acting all super sexy around them. But the girls who are responsive to it are REALLY responsive to it and it makes the game a whole lot easier.

Chase
 

PaulieFlyn10

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It’s vibe, presence, the way you conduct yourself, the very fiber of who you are.

I’ve read the alabaster girl by Zan Perrion a few times now cover to cover- one of the best way to become seductive in my opinion is to think of a seductive archetype you resonate with and try to become them.

Think, “how would he react to this?”
“how would he walk?”
“how would he look at her?”
“how would he tease her?”
“what would he do in this situation?”

Try and become that archetype in all aspects of your life, not just around women. The of course, work heavily on your own fundementals.

I set an archetype for myself between Hank Moody and Zan Perrion along time ago (maybe 8 years ago?)

Throughout the years ive adjusted everything from my mannerisms, to clothing, to perspectives with those archetypes in mind. (The way a great actor does in preparing for a role).

Overtime, I’d say im now a mix between harvey spectar from suits, hank moody, and zan perrion. And I’m definitely much more seductive than I used to be
Yup... Hank moody & Harvey specter were my go to guys... when I was coming up

Especially Hank... then I threw in a bit of Damon from vampire diaries... then dropped Harvey stuff later
 

fog

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  • Mannerisms that suggest he's off in a sort of semi-sexual dream state himself

i am considering these mannerisms. a starting point i am approaching it from is absentminded wonder
 

Chase

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@Jeff,

FYI, I put together a fleshed-out post on creating sexual magnetism like what your friend does:


Hope it helps.

Chase
 

Jeff

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@Jeff,

FYI, I put together a fleshed-out post on creating sexual magnetism like what your friend does:


Hope it helps.

Chase
Thanks a bunch for the article, @Chase. Really informative.

Missed your reply somehow.

Looks like I'm having trouble getting into a sexual state myself, which is probably why conveying the same has become difficult (due to low momentum and not feeling particularly sexy I suppose)
 
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