Getting worse results since getting "in shape"

[killerman]

I've been lifting weights for 5 years. Put on a hell of a lot of muscle in that time. Am hovering around 9-10% body fat range. So Im muscular and ripped. Yet my results with women is definitely worse than when I was skinny. This is confusing as everyone says once you're in shape you get more female attention. My experience has been the exact opposite. The last 5, 7 girls ive been on dates with, none of those went to sex and girls have even friend zone me. This is insane because getting muscles and in shape is supposed to make you sexier right and more likely to make girls want to sleep with you right? And I'm not getting the same attention from women that I was getting before I got in shape. I honestly did better when i was skinny. I thought I was getting better results for a while but that was all in my head as none of it has translated to proper results like sex. Not only am i getting less sex than when I was skinny but the hotness of girls I go on dates with has declined. So why is this? Do girls prefer guys who are skinny or kind of fat? This is a legit question because all the hot girls I see, they're either dating guys who are skinny or just plain overweight.

 

[DarkKnight]

Could be plain old intinidation. Girls like lover physique rarely barbarian

Plus with all respect what is "in shape" I have seen a lot of muscled up types who think they are in shape but actually are quire boxy. So not attractive at all

To all of you guys lifting weight I recommennd doing some natiral movements as well. Like football , basketball, swimming or whatever. So you get a more fluid and natural body

But yeah killerman intimidation is a thing .. I would look at one of these both thibgs. I am in phenomoneal shape and get more interest than ever so it is not just about being muscular

 

[killerman]

How do I fix the intimidation thing? By the way I don't even look bulky or like a bodybuilder...I'm ripped, 9-10% body fat and my arms are only 14-15 inches but I'm packing way more muscle than 5 years ago when my arms were only 10 inches. And what's boxy by the way?

 

[Will_V]

I've been lifting weights for 5 years. Put on a hell of a lot of muscle in that time. Am hovering around 9-10% body fat range. So Im muscular and ripped. Yet my results with women is definitely worse than when I was skinny. This is confusing as everyone says once you're in shape you get more female attention. My experience has been the exact opposite. The last 5, 7 girls ive been on dates with, none of those went to sex and girls have even friend zone me. This is insane because getting muscles and in shape is supposed to make you sexier right and more likely to make girls want to sleep with you right? And I'm not getting the same attention from women that I was getting before I got in shape. I honestly did better when i was skinny. I thought I was getting better results for a while but that was all in my head as none of it has translated to proper results like sex. Not only am i getting less sex than when I was skinny but the hotness of girls I go on dates with has declined. So why is this? Do girls prefer guys who are skinny or kind of fat? This is a legit question because all the hot girls I see, they're either dating guys who are skinny or just plain overweight.

You've been lifting weights for 5 years. That's a long time for a lot of stuff to change. You didn't go to bed one day skinny and getting laid, and wake up the next day ripped and struggling, did you? No doubt your life has changed in a multitude of ways and you are in an entirely different place.

Girls respond to who you are to them and how you present yourself to them. It's very likely that one or more of the following have happened:

1) your skills have gotten rusty.
2) You have a different attitude or self-perception compared to before.
3) You present a different way for which there are different social expectations that you might not be living up to right now.
4) You are targeting girls who used to like you for something you grew out of.

You are focusing on your physique right now because it is the investment you made, but perhaps there are other areas of your life that didn't get the same investment.

The best move is to study your current position and focus on the variables in front of you. What sort of girls are you after and how well do you fit what they want? How congruent is everything about your presentation? Where is the seduction falling apart? What is not working, and what adjustments can you make?

 

[DarkKnight]

How do I fix the intimidation thing

Smile more, be more smooth . Chase described it like a happy dog energy somewhere. I don't know I tend to use winning charm and become talkative and also win over the environment so women see that I am a safe but cool guy

This is how I got about my day and it helps my vibe and I think that comes across

 

[Police dog]

It may have nothing to do with your physique. Correlation vs causation fallacy. Think of people who had great success with girls in HS but 10 years later struggle to get a date despite having much better social skills, dating experience, money, car, etc. Did having all of those things make him less interesting? No.
Same might be true here - it’s been 5 years, a lot could have changed in that time frame besides you getting more muscular. Do you have a life outside of the gym?

 

[Police dog]

This is a legit question because all the hot girls I see, they're either dating guys who are skinny or just plain overweight.

Because ~95% of the population fit this description?

 

[POB]

To all of you guys lifting weight I recommennd doing some natiral movements as well. Like football , basketball, swimming or whatever. So you get a more fluid and natural body

Definitely do dancing too.
It improves posture, walking, eye contact and gives you that sexy aura.

 

[POB]

I've been lifting weights for 5 years. Put on a hell of a lot of muscle in that time. Am hovering around 9-10% body fat range. So Im muscular and ripped. Yet my results with women is definitely worse than when I was skinny. This is confusing as everyone says once you're in shape you get more female attention.

There's a diffrence between blatant attention and covert attention.
Being muscular elicit the latter.

My experience has been the exact opposite. The last 5, 7 girls ive been on dates with, none of those went to sex and girls have even friend zone me. This is insane because getting muscles and in shape is supposed to make you sexier right and more likely to make girls want to sleep with you right?

Not really, and this falacy needs to stop.
Game=sex
Getting in shape is good and it helps, but it's not the primary driving factor

I honestly did better when i was skinny. I thought I was getting better results for a while but that was all in my head as none of it has translated to proper results like sex. Not only am i getting less sex than when I was skinny but the hotness of girls I go on dates with has declined. So why is this? Do girls prefer guys who are skinny or kind of fat? This is a legit question because all the hot girls I see, they're either dating guys who are skinny or just plain overweight.

This is not reality
Your perception is kinda leaning towards your recent sub-optimal results.
What you need is to adapt to your new reality.
Women are perceiving you different now, and you must act in tandem with your new persona.
You just need more time, that's all.

 

[Police dog]

my arms are only 14-15 inches

This is sad. 14 inch arms after 5+ years at the gym? Even with low body fat. Obviously you decide what to do with your body but I would strongly consider getting up to 12-14% bf because you might think you are muscular etc but in reality you may look something like that:

What size (US) shirts are your wearing? If it’s still small or medium, something is definitely not right

 

[DarkKnight]

This is sad

Not everyone trains for size man

 

[Police dog]

Not everyone trains for size man

Then what’s the point of saying that he put on a lot of muscles?

 

[DarkKnight]

Then what’s the point of saying that he put on a lot of muscles?

Muscle density is also impressive or intimidating. Or whatever I believe him when he.says he has become.more impressive or perhaps intimidating and it is a valid question to ask how to calibrate with this.

 

[Skills]

Could be style and fashion...

 

[Bill]

did you get in shape specifically to be more attractive? It could be creating a subtle vibe of wanting to qualify yourself to the girls based on your muscles and insecurity that it isn’t working.

 

[Skills]

did you get in shape specifically to be more attractive? It could be creating a subtle vibe of wanting to qualify yourself to the girls based on your muscles and insecurity that it isn’t working.

Yeah I was going to bring this up but I talked about it so much than I got lazy.... but yes sometimes when people get more money or more of a fill in the blank makes you cut corners and get what I call lazy game and more entitled..

 

[killerman]

This is sad. 14 inch arms after 5+ years at the gym? Even with low body fat. Obviously you decide what to do with your body but I would strongly consider getting up to 12-14% bf because you might think you are muscular etc but in reality you may look something like that:

What size (US) shirts are your wearing? If it’s still small or medium, something is definitely not right

This is sad. 14 inch arms after 5+ years at the gym? Even with low body fat. Obviously you decide what to do with your body but I would strongly consider getting up to 12-14% bf because you might think you are muscular etc but in reality you may look something like that:

What size (US) shirts are your wearing? If it’s still small or medium, something is definitely not right

lol 14 inch arms is not sad seeing how I used to have 10 inch arms. That's a HUGE amount of growth in 5 years. I'm quite happy and it's certainly not "sad". And no going up to 12-14% body fat will just make me look like shit, I've been there before and all that extra fat just makes your face look fatter and less chiseled . It's the opposite of beauty and aesthetics. I'm going for aesthetics and 9-10% body fat looks far better even if my arms are less big. All the gym bros who say bigger is better and if you cant attain 17 inches you've failed have got to stop. On the subject of expectation vs reality the genetic limit for most guys who dont use steroids and who are single digit body fat is 15-16 inches and that's after about 10 years of lifting as you wont hit your genetic limit in less than 10 years.