Getting past openers?

[HighVoltage]

Right now i wanna talk about my problem with girls.

I'm good at openers, very good. So good in fact that I can usually get a girl to laugh or to smile within the first 20 seconds of meeting her. But that's about it.

I can formulate what I'm going to do for an opener, I can visualize it mentally and verbalize it in my head, but that's where it ends.

I have a super vague idea what to do after, and I've done it in the past.

One week I met an Italian girl who didn't speak English very well, so I used Google Translate. We flirted a bit, she even asked me if I wanted to go swimming with her. I didn't have my trunks so I declined, but the truth is: I was nervous and a bundle of nerves. I just wasn't confident in my ability to sleep with her because my place was a no-go.

But the whole "What do I do after opening?" Question puts anxiety in my head that stops me in my tracks before I can even open with her.

Like, I can visualize opening down to what I'm gonna say but I don't know how to visualize what comes next.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

1. Open
2. Get logistics
3. Use attraction material/behaviors
4. Look for her to buy in/create opportunities for her to do so
5. Check for cooperation/compliance
6. When she cooperates, escalate verbally, nonverbally, logistically as needed.

Then tone down the opening phase activities/vibe and go into the building trust phase.

After attraction and trust are built, logistics to the hook up location, and slowly turn up the heat.

The timeline never changes.

You're stalling out because you either don't know what to next, (which I doubt based on answering this question for years) or you're to afraid to escalate. (Which is usually the case).

WIA

 

[HighVoltage]

Afraid to escalate. . . .That sounds about right?

What's "Getting logistics" ? ? ?

 

[StrayDog]

I addressed this in another members post, where he was having trouble generating momentum after the open. I discuss some strategies for getting the conversation in gear, and provide a good deal of material to work with

you might find my lost helpful https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/gameboys-journal.28251/post-169873

also
The thread on my #1 shopping opener touches a bit on this as well
https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/1-shopping-opener.28215/

 

[StrayDog]

Afraid to escalate. . . .That sounds about right?

What's "Getting logistics" ? ? ?

Asking low key questions that help you get a better picture of what her logistics are. What she is up to at the moment, what she plans to do next, the details of her day, the details of her life. Anything that helps you better understand what logistics you will be working with.

You can do this in a non invasive way by framing your questions in a personable manner that creates rapport between the two of you. I have a few examples in the first thread I posted above

 

[HighVoltage]

Asking low key questions that help you get a better picture of what her logistics are. What she is up to at the moment, what she plans to do next, the details of her day, the details of her life. Anything that helps you better understand what logistics you will be working with.

You can do this in a non invasive way by framing your questions in a personable manner that creates rapport between the two of you. I have a few examples in the first thread I posted above

Gotcha~

 

[Adventurer]

I have the exact same problem ! Approach anxiety is mostly gone but when a girl hooks, I panic and eject.

After a bit of thinking and reading a recent Chase article that talked about this, I think I figured out what's going on, at least in my case. Too much "picturing the conquest" backfired : I was putting too much pressure on myself to get laid, when the next step was just to ask for her name and make small talk.

By focusing only on introductions and making small talk for now (safe zone as Chase calls it), I was able to stay in set longer and finally get a few phone numbers

 

[HighVoltage]

Asking low key questions that help you get a better picture of what her logistics are. What she is up to at the moment, what she plans to do next, the details of her day, the details of her life. Anything that helps you better understand what logistics you will be working with.

You can do this in a non invasive way by framing your questions in a personable manner that creates rapport between the two of you. I have a few examples in the first thread I posted above

Alright, so I've been unconsciously doing logistics then this entire time. Thing is, where I fall short is that I unconsciously keep things too logical if I'm not getting the vibe that she is "down". Or is that wrong?

 

[SteelbookCollector]

reminds me of a statement about stand up comedians