Genunie Interest or Seeking attention

[RedNeck]

Actually, this is a question for a friend, not for me. Unfortunately, I was not present by myself to judge.

Also, I think it is a common theme so I think it will benefit everyone in the forum.

He knows a girl from a social circle. Let's call her Sara. He asked her out; she rejected him nicely. My friend has been friendly to her as she is a sweet person. A few weeks after, she got a boyfriend.

One time, he was invited to a birthday party where she was there. My friend was well-dressed, by far he was the best at the party. People stared at him the moment he walked in. Now, Sara kept giving him AI's. Even at one point, she moved and sat by him, for him to open her. You know she was sitting by him, and she said nothing. He did not open her.

The party was over and the next time my friend met Sara. Sara was totally into the auto-rejection. She completely ignored him.

My opinion: she was not seeking attention, she had a genuine interest that night. My reasons:

1- She auto-rejected. This is an emotional reaction. If she was looking for attention, she would not auto-reject.
2-If she was looking for attention; she would open him herself. She did not have to go and sit there uncomfortably.
3- She walked to sit by him. I feel this is a kind of investment as it is some physical work.

My friend's Opinion: She was looking for attention. His reasons:

1- Her current boyfriend is 6 ft and more muscular than my friend.
2-She rejected my friend before.


What do you think guys?

 

[kinsej9010]

You have the right objective perspective. I've been in your friend's situation where a girl rejected me but didn't see (or want to cause well, 'FUCK HER') that her perception towards me changed due to social proof.

 

[Gladiator]

Imo, it doesn't matter.

I'd have done the same thing as what your friend did not cos of the reasons that he mentioned but I don't like to chase. She had her chance. I won't be bitter or angry but the onus is completely on her to restart if she wants anything.

Secondly, she has a BF now and I'll err on the side of doubt than taking a chance with someone who has a BF. I'm not really interested in chasing someone having a BF.

Thirdly, she was definitely attention seeking since she perhaps realized his value and her primal instincts made her seek approval from him but that is all she wanted and that is all he'd have got. Women do much more than that to seek approval, if they want to.

She didn't talk to him next time obviously cos he didn't end up an orbiter and women only want men for three reasons (friends, lovers, providers) and he didn't fall into any of those categories.

 

[Will_V]

Actually, this is a question for a friend, not for me. Unfortunately, I was not present by myself to judge.

Also, I think it is a common theme so I think it will benefit everyone in the forum.

He knows a girl from a social circle. Let's call her Sara. He asked her out; she rejected him nicely. My friend has been friendly to her as she is a sweet person. A few weeks after, she got a boyfriend.

One time, he was invited to a birthday party where she was there. My friend was well-dressed, by far he was the best at the party. People stared at him the moment he walked in. Now, Sara kept giving him AI's. Even at one point, she moved and sat by him, for him to open her. You know she was sitting by him, and she said nothing. He did not open her.

The party was over and the next time my friend met Sara. Sara was totally into the auto-rejection. She completely ignored him.

My opinion: she was not seeking attention, she had a genuine interest that night. My reasons:

1- She auto-rejected. This is an emotional reaction. If she was looking for attention, she would not auto-reject.
2-If she was looking for attention; she would open him herself. She did not have to go and sit there uncomfortably.
3- She walked to sit by him. I feel this is a kind of investment as it is some physical work.

My friend's Opinion: She was looking for attention. His reasons:

1- Her current boyfriend is 6 ft and more muscular than my friend.
2-She rejected my friend before.


What do you think guys?

I don't think you can slot a womans interest into these two categories. There's no such thing as non-genuine interest, there is however the question of precedent and how difficult bad precedent will be to dislodge.

Seems to me the way she was thinking was "I thought this guy was just ordinary and uninteresting, but tonight he's showing up. What's the deal?"

This is a genuine reaction, but there is the issue of all the times she saw and interacted with him in the past and categorized him as not attractive enough. He would have to undo this to reassert his attractiveness.

In a way it's like a point score where once you go into the negative you have to gain back all the points you lost before you can break even. This of course can be minimized if you are skillful at scoring a bunch of points very fast while creating opportunities for sex.

Your friend did not achieve anything by completely ignoring her obvious attempt to make contact except making her feel completely rejected. That's usually all the opportunity a woman will give to a guy. You say he was friendly to her after she rejected him, and now she's showing attraction he's ignoring her? Way to not reward good behavior. He'd have to play it fine with his investment of course considering how thin the opportunity is, but in this case the opportunity was completely wasted.

 

[RedNeck]

I don't think you can slot a womans interest into these two categories. There's no such thing as non-genuine interest, there is however the question of precedent and how difficult bad precedent will be to dislodge.

Seems to me the way she was thinking was "I thought this guy was just ordinary and uninteresting, but tonight he's showing up. What's the deal?"

This is a genuine reaction, but there is the issue of all the times she saw and interacted with him in the past and categorized him as not attractive enough. He would have to undo this to reassert his attractiveness.

In a way it's like a point score where once you go into the negative you have to gain back all the points you lost before you can break even. This of course can be minimized if you are skillful at scoring a bunch of points very fast while creating opportunities for sex.

Your friend did not achieve anything by completely ignoring her obvious attempt to make contact except making her feel completely rejected. That's usually all the opportunity a woman will give to a guy. You say he was friendly to her after she rejected him, and now she's showing attraction he's ignoring her? Way to not reward good behavior. He'd have to play it fine with his investment of course considering how thin the opportunity is, but in this case the opportunity was completely wasted.

Thanks, man.
You are just spot on. I did not share all the details for privacy.
He was definitely unattractive to her. She knew him through his job which is a low-paying job, and she is a doctor. At the party, she saw him pulling off some fancy/nice/ stylish clothes, most probably she was like "Wait a sec, who are you?". It is similar to when a skinny dude takes his shirt off. and the girl sees his definition.

He did not achieve. anything. His thought process was I would punish her to make her regret rejecting me. He is just young and dumb hahah.