- Joined
- Oct 12, 2018
- Messages
- 53
Friends,
(Especially those who have trouble with action or implementing self-help ideas)
A few months ago I discovered a small insight that was life-changing for me.
I was watching Zan Perrion's Alabaster Girl discussion series on Youtube and it was awesome. But then one of his friends (Jordan) said something... he said basically:
'I was reading a study that said that... having too much KNOWLEDGE in something-- without enough EXPERIENCE-- will make you unhappy and worse at the skill'.
And then he lightheartedly warned the viewers to be careful watching the Alabaster Girl discussion!
Anyway.
I didn't verify or read the study (seems like one of those "intuitive truths" to me) but as soon as I heard the idea I stopped reading and watching all seduction material.
It gave me a big realization.
See, I've been mediocre at seduction for years now. Like for the past 6(!!) years I have not tried with women.
I've been unmotivated, mediocre and honestly averse to even the thought of trying at seduction or socializing.
(I literally forced myself to lose my virginity like 4 years ago and have a couple more relationships to get experience at sex. I was smashing these chicks all emotionally numbed out and "going through the motions", it was so weird
)
I tried a lot of things to get out of this mediocrity but...
The realization I had was that no matter how much material I studied, none of that would bring me back to my "peak" (in terms of effort).
The only person who could help me was ME.
This is what I wrote in my notes at the time I had that realization from the Alabaster Girl videos:
"My solution must be in action. 'Gun-to-the-head' performance. That is the only way. I'm far too invested in knowledge.
What if I HAD to perform my best?
How do I WANT to perform my best?
The only possible way forward is to reach my peak potential again, by myself. That is the only way"
See...
I believe there is a big subconscious, "go with the flow" element to learning.
You can study and plan things out but at some point you have to let that shit go and figure out how to get your body to perform.
And only YOU can figure that out.
It's not something you can teach.
Each person has a unique relationship with their performance and understanding of a skill.
So if you feel like you may be getting held back by reading too much seduction or whatever material...
Just stop! Just force yourself to figure everything out on your own. Discover presence.
Anyway...
I stopped reading seduction stuff like 4 months ago. What effect did it have?
- I started working on a goal to "become more empathetic/warm towards women and be able to instantly gain their trust-- form a deep relationship with 3 women by X date". I didn't focus on this for long due to schoolwork but I actually felt the effect in the interactions I had. I found myself getting into warm and fun conversations with girls-- way better sensations than last semester
- I actually started approaching girls (a few alcohol'd approaches but most of them were sober..!). One of these was approaching a really hot girl at a bar, she was receptive and open and it was great
- I fell in love with my dance teacher lmao (this one could or could not be considered progress... but I viewed it as a good thing because it meant my heart/emotions were opening up; I had casual relationships but haven't been in love with a woman in like 4 years)
- A lot of those old nasty emotions that caused my motivation for seduction to die have been coming back up (again, I view it as good because it's a chance to get through this stuff). A lot of self esteem stuff. Actually, falling in love again triggered my PTSD and when I was sitting there just meditating on it, that's when I realized I had this hardcore aversion to the idea of trying at seduction or socializing
- I've felt happier than I have in a long, long time. Huge progress in this aspect (though, a lot of old and intense emotions have been coming up as a result-- but I'm viewing this again as a chance for more progress)
Basically, I've had way more fun and good times with women in the past 3 months than I had in a while before that.
Way different sensations. And that was while giving 80% of my focus to my programming classes.
So I believe this "cut off studying X material if you're not taking enough action" is a key idea and everyone who's improving themselves through self-help material should know it.
It's a great way to improve your relationship with seduction and possibly enjoy it more.
And that's all I gotta say about dat shit
Peace.
(Especially those who have trouble with action or implementing self-help ideas)
A few months ago I discovered a small insight that was life-changing for me.
I was watching Zan Perrion's Alabaster Girl discussion series on Youtube and it was awesome. But then one of his friends (Jordan) said something... he said basically:
'I was reading a study that said that... having too much KNOWLEDGE in something-- without enough EXPERIENCE-- will make you unhappy and worse at the skill'.
And then he lightheartedly warned the viewers to be careful watching the Alabaster Girl discussion!
Anyway.
I didn't verify or read the study (seems like one of those "intuitive truths" to me) but as soon as I heard the idea I stopped reading and watching all seduction material.
It gave me a big realization.
See, I've been mediocre at seduction for years now. Like for the past 6(!!) years I have not tried with women.
I've been unmotivated, mediocre and honestly averse to even the thought of trying at seduction or socializing.
(I literally forced myself to lose my virginity like 4 years ago and have a couple more relationships to get experience at sex. I was smashing these chicks all emotionally numbed out and "going through the motions", it was so weird
)I tried a lot of things to get out of this mediocrity but...
The realization I had was that no matter how much material I studied, none of that would bring me back to my "peak" (in terms of effort).
The only person who could help me was ME.
This is what I wrote in my notes at the time I had that realization from the Alabaster Girl videos:
"My solution must be in action. 'Gun-to-the-head' performance. That is the only way. I'm far too invested in knowledge.
What if I HAD to perform my best?
How do I WANT to perform my best?
The only possible way forward is to reach my peak potential again, by myself. That is the only way"
See...
I believe there is a big subconscious, "go with the flow" element to learning.
You can study and plan things out but at some point you have to let that shit go and figure out how to get your body to perform.
And only YOU can figure that out.
It's not something you can teach.
Each person has a unique relationship with their performance and understanding of a skill.
So if you feel like you may be getting held back by reading too much seduction or whatever material...
Just stop! Just force yourself to figure everything out on your own. Discover presence.
Anyway...
I stopped reading seduction stuff like 4 months ago. What effect did it have?
- I started working on a goal to "become more empathetic/warm towards women and be able to instantly gain their trust-- form a deep relationship with 3 women by X date". I didn't focus on this for long due to schoolwork but I actually felt the effect in the interactions I had. I found myself getting into warm and fun conversations with girls-- way better sensations than last semester
- I actually started approaching girls (a few alcohol'd approaches but most of them were sober..!). One of these was approaching a really hot girl at a bar, she was receptive and open and it was great
- I fell in love with my dance teacher lmao (this one could or could not be considered progress... but I viewed it as a good thing because it meant my heart/emotions were opening up; I had casual relationships but haven't been in love with a woman in like 4 years)
- A lot of those old nasty emotions that caused my motivation for seduction to die have been coming back up (again, I view it as good because it's a chance to get through this stuff). A lot of self esteem stuff. Actually, falling in love again triggered my PTSD and when I was sitting there just meditating on it, that's when I realized I had this hardcore aversion to the idea of trying at seduction or socializing
- I've felt happier than I have in a long, long time. Huge progress in this aspect (though, a lot of old and intense emotions have been coming up as a result-- but I'm viewing this again as a chance for more progress)
Basically, I've had way more fun and good times with women in the past 3 months than I had in a while before that.
Way different sensations. And that was while giving 80% of my focus to my programming classes.
So I believe this "cut off studying X material if you're not taking enough action" is a key idea and everyone who's improving themselves through self-help material should know it.
It's a great way to improve your relationship with seduction and possibly enjoy it more.
And that's all I gotta say about dat shit
Peace.
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